Updosing Support Group

[[so...]]

I wanted to thank everyone for their kind responses. It feels good to hugged by you all.

 

Nova - did you say that chemo blocks benzo uptake and can make w/d worse? I have wondered about that, in case I go that route again, as my oncologist would like. Any idea where I can find a reference or more info on that?

 

Thanks. 

 

~SS

[[HO...]]

In theory if you updosed to what you thought you were at and wait a long my time wouldn't your symptoms go away like a 6 month hold or what tolerance withdrawals happen then? Thx

[[Ca...]]

In theory if you updosed to what you thought you were at and wait a long my time wouldn't your symptoms go away like a 6 month hold or what tolerance withdrawals happen then? Thx

sorry, im not exactly sure what you mean here...

Generally updosing and waiting to stabalize releave symptoms...

And if one stays on the same dose for a rather long time, the body can get used to that dose and be less effective...

[Guest [Fu...]]

solitudeseeker I read your story and it broke my heart. I'm so sorry that you're going through this. If you ever want someone to talk to don't hesitate to PM me.

 

I hate to check in freaking out again, but I am freaking out just a bit that I have become tolerant to Valium. I tried a quick, failed taper to Valium at the beginning of December before returning to Klonopin again after about a week. Stupidly I have kept the remaining pills and since then when things have gotten very bad with my symptoms have taken 5-6 rescue doses of 10 mg's at night to help me sleep. So I've taken a total of 25 pills since Dec. 1st, not every day or anything but I'm just so freaked out that I may have developed tolerance and am now essentially cold turkeying myself off of 10 mg's of Valium. I feel like an idiot for even putting myself in this position but really I'm scared because I no longer am seeing that psychiatrist and my new psychiatrist would never prescribe Valium even if I needed it.

 

This is likely just the irrational, hypochondriac thoughts as usual but I feel like people have become tolerant with less than what I've taken. Thank you guys for putting up with my ramblings.

[[Ca...]]

Hey there FuzzyD... Good to hear from you... sorry its so rough...

The v you took averages out to 1tab every 4days ish... What dose tablets were they? And do you think they helped much?

Hope something gives for you soon and you get a break...

[Guest [Fu...]]

Thanks Cantfly. They were 10 mg tabs which I was told is equivalent to about .5 K. Some days I would take one of those in place of a .5 K so I don't even know if that would count as a rescue dose.

 

They kind of take the edge off a bit but also give me a headache and make me dizzy. Do you think that's enough to become tolerant though? If I got tolerant I am screwed and I have no idea what I'm going to do.

[[Ca...]]

Thanks Cantfly. They were 10 mg tabs which I was told is equivalent to about .5 K. Some days I would take one of those in place of a .5 K so I don't even know if that would count as a rescue dose.

 

They kind of take the edge off a bit but also give me a headache and make me dizzy. Do you think that's enough to become tolerant though? If I got tolerant I am screwed and I have no idea what I'm going to do.

my thought is that one starts to get used to these meds in the slightest of ways fron rather early on...

BUT, does that equate to the "tolerance" that is used oh so often on here?? -I think not... That is when the body is so used to a particular dose, that it no longer has its original therapeutic ability to treat the condition for which it was taken... -I would put forward that you are far from this situation...

I would also put forward, however, that if taken every 4 days or there abouts, it would equate to something similar to a 2.5V daily dose over 4 months...

 

But as you mainly took V as a substitute, i would guess that anything you do feel is more to do with the differing qualities of each medication, and should subside fairly soon as it was far from a complete cross over...

As u cant continue the V due to supply, Its forward from here anyway... -But I would do it without worrying too much... -and there is even the possibility that you may feel better without the combination of two benzos...??

Just my thoughts...

More so, Am thinking of you and wishing you every strength in a difficult situation...

stay strong...

 

[[no...]]

I wanted to thank everyone for their kind responses. It feels good to hugged by you all.

 

Nova - did you say that chemo blocks benzo uptake and can make w/d worse? I have wondered about that, in case I go that route again, as my oncologist would like. Any idea where I can find a reference or more info on that?

 

Thanks. 

 

~SS

Hi S  Benzos are used for nausea during treatment My Mother had chemo and was on  Diazepam for years  and it stopped the Diazepam working we were informed, sorry I don't want to go into detail its too upsetting. Here is a website a guy started after curing his own 'terminal cancer' http://www.chrisbeatcancer.com/  And where other  people have beaten cancer without resorting to chemo, and if I knew the what I know now I would have treated my Mother myself without the drugs that were used.  I did year's of research after we lost her , and its very painful to talk about it. I hope its of help to you I know its a personal choice, but I would have taken a different route with my Mum with the knowledgeable I have now, and its not just from one website either

Love Nova xxx  :smitten:

[[de...]]

good morning all

 

I got back from the doctor yesterday and after a long talk he said lets just go up 1/4 mgs for now and see if that helps..he said theres no reason to go back to 4mg of k if you dont need to..so that will put me at 3mgs..he said just take the .87gms of k and up it to .130 equal to the other 3 and that would make it 3 mgs..

 

hes such a nice and good doctor i have been seeing him for yrs..he told me to stop reading and listening to the negative posts on fb.he said alot of times the mind will then have you thinking you are having those symptoms from the benzo brain..he said read positive things..and go and look at yourself in the mirror every morning and tell yourself you will be well and you will be ok..he said you have to stop thinking about all the bad others are going through..cause it can make it happen to you..the mind is a very powerful thing..i know he is right..and hes just a md not a specialist or therapist..but a wise man..he has had to updose other patients before trying to get off of benzos and said if upping slowly they have never had any problems so he told me to stop worrying about it..its different than adding a different med that the body is not use too

 

he also said we will talk next month and see if there are any changes at all and if so then we would consider going a bit higher..but he said i should feel better from this amount in some way..

since i have been at this same dose..taking more should work faster..and he said you have to realize that the reason everyone is so different is because they have other issues..be it stressors, health conditions, mind set, so many things that it makes everyone different..

 

will be back later have to eat..i weighed 123.6 lbs yesterday...i am doing the happy dance..he also said he wanted me walking stores more cause what people experience when they go in a store and feel strange is actually anxiety from being in a closed in store and so many people in there..and i just have to push through that and not let the anxiety win..and if i am tired then sit down..he said take the wheelchair in and walk as long as i can but dont over do and then sit down and let terrie push me..

 

he said that when you lose weight and get weak..as many of us do here...you have to gain the weight back and be stable at the weight then your body can work on getting stronger cause its trying to maintain the weight gain..thats why its so hard to rebuild the strength i once had..something he said doesnt happen over night but will in time..how much time no one knows..but the more you work at it the faster it happens..

 

well off to eat..and will check on everyone in a bit

 

hugs to everyone here..and hope some of this helped or made sense..if any of you have questions you cant get answers from your doctor from let me know and i will write them down and ask him next month

 

deep

[Guest [Fu...]]

Thanks, Cantfly.

 

The thought of cutting 10mg's at once of Valium just has me freaked out. But I'll just hope that isn't the case.

[[Tr...]]

Hello friends. Updosing question and some background. In June 2015 I was diagnosed with advanced stage IIIC ovarian cancer. Surgery and six months of chemo commenced, and at the start of this I was put on Ativan, 1 mg every night. Never warned of the dangers, and was kept on the drug throughout my treatment.

 

When treatment ended in December 2015, I thought everything's cool, I don't need the Ativan anymore. Started taking .5 mg every night, and soon after began to feel really weird. Insomnia, dizziness, spaced out, bad nausea, headaches. After a month of bewilderment, I figured out it was trying to decrease the benzo that was making me feel so sick.

 

I was advised to continue trying to get off, and crossed over to Valium, 8 mg last March. Over the past year I worked my way down to 3 mg, but was miserable the whole way with symptoms that got worse the lower I got. My precious year of remission was ruined by this taper, as I felt so horrible all the time. I believe now that someone in my position should just stay on their dose.

 

Now my cancer has returned. This means I am terminal. My taper is over, so I went back up to 5 mg V, in an effort to feel better. And I did - the creepy pressure in my head, the flu-ish malaise, the cog-fog improved. Things were not perfect, but much better.

 

But this reprieve only lasted a couple of weeks. About 3 days ago I felt the shit start up again with a return of symptoms. I am waking again with that toxic feeling, headaches and dizzy head pressure increasing, feeling flu-ish ... it's all back now. Today I feel like shit.

 

All I want is to feel a bit better for a while, before the cancer does its thing. I want to have a nice spring and spend time with my daughter, to be able to do fun things with her. What to do? I would updose again, maybe even do a big updose and go all the way up to 10 mg V, or go back to the 1 mg Ativan that I was on before... but I'm scared that it'll just crap out on me again and I'll go right back to being sick.

 

Any thoughts on whether a big updose might hold me for a while? A few decent months is what I am hoping for. I don't plan to do chemo again. It would not cure me, but would just be for palliative reasons. But I cannot possibly combine benzo sickness with chemo. That's too much to ask of anyone.

 

Very sad today.  :'(

 

Wow, SS.  Sorry if I'm intruding here but I was worried about you.  Seems for good reason.  What did the docs say about time?  I feel like someone punched me in the stomach.  Keep me posted if you can.  Know I care.  Wish I could do more 

[[so...]]

Hi Nova, thanks for telling me about your mom. If you can, please clarify what happened with her. It will help me to make a decision about whether to do chemo again.

 

Your mom had been on valium, and was dependent? Then she got cancer and was put on chemo, and she landed in a bad withdrawal situation because of it? And the doctors said that it appeared that the chemo had messed her up benzo-wise and it threw her into withdrawal?

 

I have been looking everywhere for info on this, and you are the only person I have found who seems to have any experience with combining chemo with benzo dependence. No need for unhappy details, just wanted to be sure I'm interpreting your previous post correctly. Thanks so much.

 

Hi Trying. Yeah, not great news. My oncologist can't giver a timeframe, and he doesn't really want to. I'm not interested in pursuing more chemo, and we can thank the benzos for that. He'd like to start me on an estrogen blocker called Letrozole. Might slow things down for a little while. Might not. I'm hoping to have a decent spring and see my daughter graduate.

 

Remains to be seen if the damned benzodiazepine symptoms will allow that. Still feel crummy. Will probably updose again soon and hope for the best.

 

How are you doing?

[[no...]]

Your mom had been on valium, and was dependent? Then she got cancer and was put on chemo, and she landed in a bad withdrawal situation because of it? And the doctors said that it appeared that the chemo had messed her up benzo-wise and it threw her into withdrawal?

 

 

Hi S  yes, the above is what happened .

 

 

Love Nova xxx  :smitten:

[[so...]]

Thank you Nova. I appreciate having this info. 

[[Tr...]]

Hi Nova, thanks for telling me about your mom. If you can, please clarify what happened with her. It will help me to make a decision about whether to do chemo again.

 

Your mom had been on valium, and was dependent? Then she got cancer and was put on chemo, and she landed in a bad withdrawal situation because of it? And the doctors said that it appeared that the chemo had messed her up benzo-wise and it threw her into withdrawal?

 

I have been looking everywhere for info on this, and you are the only person I have found who seems to have any experience with combining chemo with benzo dependence. No need for unhappy details, just wanted to be sure I'm interpreting your previous post correctly. Thanks so much.

 

Hi Trying. Yeah, not great news. My oncologist can't giver a timeframe, and he doesn't really want to. I'm not interested in pursuing more chemo, and we can thank the benzos for that. He'd like to start me on an estrogen blocker called Letrozole. Might slow things down for a little while. Might not. I'm hoping to have a decent spring and see my daughter graduate.

 

Remains to be seen if the damned benzodiazepine symptoms will allow that. Still feel crummy. Will probably updose again soon and hope for the best.

 

How are you doing?

 

Oh boy...well, I'm doing OK.  I had some rough moments this week with some anxiety, heart fluttering, and breathlessness.  I was like here we go again!  Then I got pissed!  I said if I'm going down then I'm going to just keep doing what I want to do.  I don't want to rot in a bed!  The truth is it's scary and a big reminder of how my life has changed.  But I guess I'm a combination of stubborn and scared. 

 

Other than that I'm still working, raising my 2 kids, and trying to reconstruct my life. 

 

I'm worried about you.  Have you talked to a social worker or anyone familiar with this?  I saw one during treatment and see a different person now.  He helped me get off of benzos and to deal with being a cancer "survivor".  Anyway, I would've gone crazy without them!

 

Keep yourself comfortable if you can.  Let me know if you have any benzo/chemo questions.

 

Stay in touch!!

[[so...]]

Thanks Trying. I have a good friend who is a therapist/counselor, and she has been helping me immensely. She is very confident about what "lies beyond", and I find that very comforting.

 

I'm still working, but hope to phase out within a month or so. Gotta get my ducks in a row concerning benefits, maintaining the life insurance policy for my daughter, getting a will written up, look into disability, "going through my things", etc. When you become terminally ill, it's like they get behind you and start cracking the whip. No rest for the weary - I must jump through a bunch of hoops.

 

I'd like to have some relaxation time before the yuck sets in. But as I said before, my oncologist doesn't know just how long that will take.

 

I belong to an ovarian cancer forum, and just chatted today with a German woman who is terminal as well, with very advanced disease. It all depends on where the tumors are, but she is at this time not uncomfortable. She says she has tumors "everywhere", but still rides her bike around and goes shopping, etc. She discontinued treatment, and is hoping for a nice spring that she can enjoy, as am I.

 

The darned benzos of course want to crap all over that. I do have plans to go up north with my daughter and a friend for a long weekend later this month. The first travel of any kind since my diagnosis. If I'm going to be benzo-y and staggering around, I might as well be benzo-y and staggering around on the beach.

 

You hang in there. Your symptoms will peter out at some point. Sounds like you are trucking along pretty nicely overall. 

 

~SS

[[Tr...]]

Thanks Trying. I have a good friend who is a therapist/counselor, and she has been helping me immensely. She is very confident about what "lies beyond", and I find that very comforting.

 

I'm still working, but hope to phase out within a month or so. Gotta get my ducks in a row concerning benefits, maintaining the life insurance policy for my daughter, getting a will written up, look into disability, "going through my things", etc. When you become terminally ill, it's like they get behind you and start cracking the whip. No rest for the weary - I must jump through a bunch of hoops.

 

I'd like to have some relaxation time before the yuck sets in. But as I said before, my oncologist doesn't know just how long that will take.

 

I belong to an ovarian cancer forum, and just chatted today with a German woman who is terminal as well, with very advanced disease. It all depends on where the tumors are, but she is at this time not uncomfortable. She says she has tumors "everywhere", but still rides her bike around and goes shopping, etc. She discontinued treatment, and is hoping for a nice spring that she can enjoy, as am I.

 

The darned benzos of course want to crap all over that. I do have plans to go up north with my daughter and a friend for a long weekend later this month. The first travel of any kind since my diagnosis. If I'm going to be benzo-y and staggering around, I might as well be benzo-y and staggering around on the beach.

 

You hang in there. Your symptoms will peter out at some point. Sounds like you are trucking along pretty nicely overall. 

 

~SS

 

Well, I should've known you'd be so organized and as in control as possible.  Boy, you sound really busy.  I guess you're right there's not much rest right now huh?  I agree, you definitely might as well stagger around the beach!! 

 

I'm so happy you will be spending a weekend with your daughter.  Enjoy it!  I'll be thinking of you!  I'll never forget how supportive you've been.  Such a great friend.  I'm so pissed that you're terminal it's just not fair   If I could help change things I would.  Please keep in touch!

[[Rh...]]

Hi, new to this group, but I wanted to share my story on updosing, twice to be exact!

 

I was initially prescribed Xanax in August 2015 after sleeping problems arose from complications of a routine knee surgery.  My doctor tried a lot of the non-benzo stuff, trazadone, ambien, amitriptyline, and a few others...all of which made me really sick.  I think out of desperation he finally gave me he Xanax.  Anyways, I took that for 1 week and then cold turkeyed as I was sleeping.  Well all hell broke loose.  My doctor then switched me to temazepam and all my symptoms went away.  I thought it was strange so I started doing research.  Thus realizing what a benzo was and what was happening with my health.

 

I then decided to do a slow taper off temazepam.  It was hell and I got down to approx 7.5 mgs from 30 mgs. And again, all hell broke loose.  I then found the Ashton Manuel, my doctor switched me to Valium and thus being my long, hellish over a year long taper.

 

I was doing well and able to cut 1 mg every two weeks until I got to 3 mgs. Once I reached 3 mgs I became bedridden with every WD symptoms imaginable.  I went to my doctor and he told me to updose to 5 mgs to "make sure it was benzo WD".  I did and felt good for about two weeks.  I then got sick for 5-6 months and wasn't able to taper.  I tried several compounding places and some other prescriptions to help.  Noting helped.  I then found a specialist and he said to dose three times a day and do daily micro tapering with a compound and mostly pills.

 

Once I got my compound, I updosed to 5.5 mg's and then began my taper.  I've been able to cu down to 3.25 mgs since Feb 1, 2017.  I'm now super sick and assume I went too fast!

 

Anyways, to make my long story short (lol) I'm thinking of updosing to 3.5 mgs again and going even slower or holding and see if I stabilize and then proceed, but slower???

 

Any thoughts or ideas???  Thanks!

[[Ca...]]

Hi Rhern... Thanks for stopping by...

i sse some similarities with some others i know... -the key words being -slow, and -hold...

Both of these are obviously preferable to updosing, in many situations...

Though my last "rescue dose" was yesterday... to keep it real...

 

But The Long Hold Support Group is a good fun place to distract with us turtles sloths snails and chickens, oh and i think we have a scaredy cat now too...

Anyways... there are some long term slow taperers there, and a wealth of info...

 

Personally, I have been stuck on 2V all this year... It just caught up on me, and some other isseus from other past meds arent helping... I often think of updosing, but for now holding at 2V is the plan...

 

I think updosing can be a bit unpredictable at times, but there are times when it is worth the effort...

 

Best wishes with what you decide...

[[Bl...]]

Hello friends. Need some feedback and experience.  Updosed to 20mg of valium about 6 weeks ago. Trying to give it some time, but feeling nothing but anxiety and depression. Not seeing any real progress. Have some windows at times, but would have thought i would be much more stable by now. Struggling with deciding to to nothing and give it more time or to take action and maybe speak to my doctor or even find a new doctor for a new perspective. Also currently on 300mg effexor and 10mg lexapro per day. Nothing seems to be helping. Feedback or experience is appreciated.

 

Much love

BJ

[[no...]]

Hello friends. Need some feedback and experience.  Updosed to 20mg of valium about 6 weeks ago. Trying to give it some time, but feeling nothing but anxiety and depression. Not seeing any real progress. Have some windows at times, but would have thought i would be much more stable by now. Struggling with deciding to to nothing and give it more time or to take action and maybe speak to my doctor or even find a new doctor for a new perspective. Also currently on 300mg effexor and 10mg lexapro per day. Nothing seems to be helping. Feedback or experience is appreciated.

 

Much love

BJ

Hi Jack  I posted this  post quoted below on another thread,its a post written by someone else,but I'm posting it here for you too see that what's happening to you and others of us me included is normal after up-dosing and holding until we stabilise which takes as long as it takes from person to person, and it looks like I'm going to be in for a long haul hold personally where as someone else will stabilise a lot quicker than me. But I was long term and a high dose , and crashed 2 years ago , so its going to take some time for me to rectify the fall out that should have been addressed 2 years ago by up-dosing then.

 

But unfortunately I got freaked out by the opinions of others until I decided my fate like everyone else's''s is in my own hands and to updose and hold now for as long as it takes for me to stabilise as whether you go up or down your system has to compensate either way so its best stay put when on shaky ground until its more solid

 

Love Nova xxx  :smitten:

 

Thank you for verifying what I kind of suspected. There has been, and continues to be that window/wave pattern to this hold. I actually wasn't sure if this was something unique to me, but even then, I figured I just had to continue holding whether it is unique or not.

 

And now that the 6 month time has past, I'm going through another wave. So I'll definitely be continuing the hold. I didn't realize that this was typical of benzos at all, but its more knowledge that not only helps me "cope," but it's knowledge I think I need to be able to relay to others if the need arises. It almost feels like "Part 2" is happening now with this continuation as sx are changing, and yet they still are definitely sx of an unstable CNS.

 

I have to admit that the hold itself with these windows and waves is a stressor all by itself. When the windows occur, I'm consistently myself all day and evening, and this lasts for about a month to 6 weeks, but with that last two weeks I start slipping into a wave kind of gradually, and I don't always see it coming. And then, I'm fully in that wave, and I'm not me consistently throughout the day, and it's even hard to fully remember how good I felt during the window. And it feels kind of awful with some emotional, physical and cognitive sx.

 

I'm glad I'm here too! Thank you for saying that. I've learned a lot the hard way about benzos, and I'm glad to share what I do know.

[[Bl...]]

Thanks Nova. Seems very similar to my situation.

[[Bi...]]

Hi Nova,

It's absolutely amazing how much power is in a tiny trace of benzo.  I am on my 7th mini low-level reinstate using 10mg Librium per week.  The half life on Librium is so long (250 hours+) that I only have to dose twice a week.  This is only to help my tinnitus and I have no other problems.

I think 10 mg Librium per week is like 1mg Valium per day but without it my hearing is shot.

If I was on an Ashton taper I'd have to jump today. 

 

I was professionally reinstated by one of 14 doctors in the world that does it.  Very common in kidnap cases both civilian and military. 

I talked to that doc for a while and I was amazed at how busy he was.  Seems people really do sink their boats and go down in planes and get lost on a desert island for months but most of his work is military kidnap cases.  He said there is about 200,000 active vets on Xanax that does not help shorten his work load either.  Al qaeda just loves a shackled up Marine in the basement jonesing for a xanax bar at the 3 month mark.

 

Were was I?  Being professionally reinstated.  I talked about it so much ("Search my posts for "anesthesiologist" to find the story") I just can't tell the story again but in a nut shell the secret is bolus dosing and medical monitoring and DO NOT GET COLD WHILE SLEEPING!!!

Getting cold is the worst thing that can happen to you while on an eye-crossing, mouth open, saliva drooling, bolus, high dose!  (Trust me, you will not be singing the old "benzo's are toxic" song any longer by this point)

 

  Treatment took about 7 days but I slept through most of it (starting to get the picture?) and was on a heart monitor the whole time,  beep, beep, beep.  Only the first night was at hospital and then 6 days of in-home care with a big bottle of meds and a flumazenil shot next to me in case the "beep, beep, beep" stopped (my husband was trained how to use it).

I had a permanent IV tube taped to me so he did not have to find a vain, just shot the syringe into the blue rubber part of the IV by my wrist)

Sugar-water (my IV) and a catheter was not fun either. That's about all the detail I want to give just in case those "Do it your-selfers" get any foolish ideas.

 

Take it from me. Going from a high dosage plus a 7 month long C/T,  I can honestly say getting back to normal is EXTREMELY dose dependent as I found out!  I was in a BAD way before I found this doc.

Once the Kainic acid storm in my brain was put down with extreme prejudice only then was a slow taper very easy to pull off for me.

 

[move]"If your not feeling well, avoid more cuts"

                                            -- Bird[/move]

 

https://www.google.com/search?q=Kainic+acid+storm&ie=utf-8&oe=utf-8

 

[[Ca...]]

Thanks Bird... -rather interesting... I "get" the concept (I think), The implications are far reaching, if im thinking down the right paths...

Have u done a Chewing the Fat topic or something on this at all?

 

Take care...

[[no...]]

Hi Nova,

It's absolutely amazing how much power is in a tiny trace of benzo.  I am on my 7th mini low-level reinstate using 10mg Librium per week.  The half life on Librium is so long (250 hours+) that I only have to dose twice a week.  This is only to help my tinnitus and I have no other problems.

I think 10 mg Librium per week is like 1mg Valium per day but without it my hearing is shot.

If I was on an Ashton taper I'd have to jump today. 

 

I was professionally reinstated by one of 14 doctors in the world that does it.  Very common in kidnap cases both civilian and military. 

I talked to that doc for a while and I was amazed at how busy he was.  Seems people really do sink their boats and go down in planes and get lost on a island for months but most of his work is military kidnap cases.  He said there is about 200,000 active vets on Xanax that does not help shorten his work load either.  Al qaeda just loves a shackled up Marine in the basement jonesing for a xanax bar at the 3 month mark.

 

Were was I?  Being professionally reinstated.  I talked about it so much ("Search my posts for "anesthesiologist" to find the story") I just can't tell the story again but in a nut shell the secret is bolus dosing and medical monitoring and DO NOT GET COLD WHILE SLEEPING!!!

Getting cold is the worst thing that can happen to you while on an eye-crossing, mouth open, saliva drooling, bolus, high dose!  (Trust me, you will not be singing the old "benzo's are toxic" song any longer by this point)

 

  Treatment took about 7 days but I slept through most of it (starting to get the picture?) and was on a heart monitor the whole time,  beep, beep, beep.  Only the first night was at hospital and then 6 days of in-home care with a big bottle of meds and a flumazenil shot next to me in case the "beep, beep, beep" stopped (my husband was trained how to use it).

I had a permanent IV tube taped to me so he did not have to find a vain, just shot the syringe into the blue rubber part of the IV by my wrist)

Sugar-water (my IV) and a catheter was not fun either. That's about all the detail I want to give just in case those "Do it your-selfers" get any foolish ideas.

 

Take it from me. Going from a high dosage plus a 7 month long C/T,  I can honestly say getting back to normal is EXTREMELY dose dependent as I found out!  I was in a BAD way before I found this doc.

Once the Kainic acid storm in my brain was put down with extreme prejudice only then was a slow taper very easy to pull off for me.

 

[move]"If your not feeling well, avoid more cuts"

                                            -- Bird[/move]

 

https://www.google.com/search?q=Kainic+acid+storm&ie=utf-8&oe=utf-8

 

 

Hi Birdy  thanks as always for your excellent info   Where you said ''I can honestly say getting back to normal is EXTREMELY dose dependent as I found out!'' ,  I totally agree, and as you flying banner says hold until it's over before you dare to cut again then hold even longer for a while when symptoms dissipate and enjoy life again. And that's why after much mulling over the situation in my own case, whether to do a bigger updose , and it would by way bigger than a couple of Mgs I've already done, or stay where I am until the storm breaks I decided I'm sitting and waiting.

 

The reason being, I was in bad tolerance withdrawal for over 10 years before I knew WTF was really going on plus CT off  and up and down high doses of different Benzo, strong Opiates plus other drugs the Medics put me on. I had got 100% stable in the past after going through hell after being on a certain dose long enough, and also got worse before I go better.

 

No matter if I've gone up,down or held, longest hold this time was 6 months,I get bitch slapped by severe withdrawal, my ear's are still a freaking mess along with being on fire plus other crap all day long. Now back in the past I held at a dose for a lot longer than 6 months  and shazzam!! Totally no symptoms except mild anxiety for a short time after waking and its hell all day most of the time now.

 

But here is the difference  between then and now, I wasn't on the forum then, although like you I have a love/hate relationship with it , I am eternally grateful that I found it and for some of the people on here who are truly good people,  fk the others !@%$^" who are not good people ( where's the kiss my arse smiley ) . Unfortunately I got freaked out and paranoid by some of the stuff so called 'veterans' keep bloody parroting, who were aided and abetted by newbies who treat certain peole like the Gods of Olympus and some kind of Benzo ''experts''  on here.

 

Before I joined and was ticking along solo  it was obvious  to me that when your having symptoms as soon as they arise don't wait for it to get any worse at the first little twitch hold no matter how long it just hold until it was all clear again. The other point being is whenever you go up or down your eliciting changes within the CNS,  so your knocking down a yet again under construction wall again.

 

If your lucky your wall is strong enough to hold the changes at bay without any bricks coming loose or the wall totally collapsing on top of you, but in reality its rarely that happens most walls fall down on top of you, crash!! hence more or worsening symptoms. If you just sit and wait for as long as it takes for the new wall to become a strong hold, and hold beyond that your chances of getting screwed over so badly again or at all drop unless you push your luck while feeling good and  break what didn't need mending any way. Like I did after reading Ashton on here sped up got fkd up and spent the last 2 year's really paying for it, my tolerance withdrawal at my full prescribed dose was nowhere near as brutal as this had become after going 'Ashton style'.

 

There should be a warning alongside posting it for every single newbie as the way to go that in may cases its WAY too fast and only A '' template'' not a freaking Benzo bible to be followed word for word and that your initial cuts should be done well below the Ashton suggestions until you find your own route . Look around the Forum LOTS of peole either got effed up by .A CT, B Too rapid a taper. C too big a cut each time and Ashton's protocol. even she got a lot wrong. 

 

''Carry on drinking'' for one that also nearly kills people on here with their symptoms, and ‘'don’t stop smoking while tapering Benzos  ?? No carry on sucking on over 7,000 known brain damaging chemicals with embalming fluid and paint stripper among them. Have you read her thesis on cannabis? It makes that look like a huge evil compared to Benzos?? WTF. And she contradicts herself a LOT as well if you read the headache of a manual right the way through.

 

 

Love Nova xxx  :smitten: