Do we really heal.

[[Pa...]]

I am 4 1/2 year out and seems like I’m getting worse now. A year ago I was in a great place in my healing. Now not so much. I’m starting to feel like I am degressing. It that possible? 

[[Le...]]

I have two people I talk to locally that are convinced they fall into depression and anxiety because of the memories of what they went through overwhelming them at times of stress. I notice something similar with myself. While I experience that I am in no way going to act certain about you. Only that it seems almost the same to me just less physical until it goes on for a while. 

[[Le...]]

Maybe thinking about what has been going on in your life recently could suggest something. 

[[Le...]]

oh and sorry but yes we heal. could some people take longer. likely. do some people like me mistake other things for a relapse. yea we do n

[[or...]]

@[Pa...] yes I think we do heal. Although I don't like the word. I think we "get better" as in recover from a long illness. At least I did. It took me about a year after my taper was over to realize I felt physically okay, and then I began to plan some changes in my life . . . a move, a new business. But I kept seeing my therapist, who was godsend to me throughout my taper and afterwards. She was a steadying influence and helped me see that no, I wasn't backsliding into the anxiety that made me take benzos in the first place, and no, I wasn't headed for a pit of depression. I was just engaged in life . . . a life that hadn't been possible for me on my taper. And a re-entry into life was hard, but she helped me to not dwell on the past, but to look to the present. Anyhow, that's what helped me. I'm always surprised that more BBs don't lean on their therapists (not psychiatrists or folks who practice CBT  but real, old-fashioned "talk therapists").  Anyhow, @[Pa...] to answer your question, yes I think we do heal, each in our own way, but we do. Best to you.

[[Ba...]]

I just joined and don’t know how to post?

[[Bu...]]

Hello @[Ba...],

Welcome to BenzoBuddies.

I just got your account rolling, so you are now free to post wherever you would like.  Please let us know how we can support you.

[[Ma...]]

Yes @[Pa...], we do heal. YOU will heal and it begins with you believing that. 
 

Healing is happening every minute even though you can’t see it, and your body was made to heal itself-it just was.

Look at it this way, and I’ve posted this before : 29 million prescriptions were given last year, out of a population of around 340 million. If we didn’t heal there would be a loud outcry. Recently 8 people went blind from OTC eye drops and that was reported on every news outlet. Perspective.

If you go to YouTube and watch Angela Peacocks recent videos it will provide you with hope and inspiration for that healing!

Stay the course, keep going and probably sooner than you can imagine this will all be in the distant past.

 

[[be...]]

I believe that we all heal, but each of us heal differently and it will take as long as it takes....we cannot rush the process. We must all remember that our Brain needs to continue to heal, at its own pace. The benzo's put it in a twilight sleep to help our problems...and now that it is going full force again, it has many byways and hiways to heal, after all it has been in a drugged state, just like we were. Be patient, because it does happen and it feels remarkable to feel better and the bad time eases with time. Great post by Oregonkatz and Mary1.

Stay Strong 💖 Peace and Healing.

[[PE...]]

I think it's the "memory " of the withdrawal at this point. 

[[Le...]]

10 minutes ago, [[P...] said:

I think it's the "memory " of the withdrawal at this point. 

That is a big part in my experience. 

[[PE...]]

12 minutes ago, [[L...] said:

That is a big part in my experience. 

And the withdrawal itself can mabey cause PTSD or other nasty consequences.

[[La...]]

I'm 4 months out and one of the things that bother me is the memory of nights of zero sleep, extreme restless, bad dysphoria. It's like withdrawal itself is traumatic

[[Le...]]

definately is. i dont think anyone would argue that. also an experience impossible by any natural means. like going insane while being sane enough to watch it happening i have heard it described. sounds right to me. 

[[jo...]]

I sometimes wonder what is withdrawl and what is me coming through. I'm sure I'm still in withdrawl though as muscle aches etc are still there. And the nature of the mental issues is pretty obviously withdrawl sometimes. Hard to work out really.

Edited May 9 by [jo...]

[[Le...]]

really hard to know when almost everything could be caused by either. 

[[La...]]

I’m loving all the positive feedback on this one! 
im right at 4 years myself ( 46 months). I can relate to how you are feeling. I’ve found that when I get to a rough patch, the thoughts of if I’ll ever heal roars. Me personally, I see it as a symptom also. I’m not anywhere near where I thought I’d be…my vestibular issues are so slow to heal and still have me unable to go anywhere because it’s not tolerating being in a moving vehicle. In March it did make progress and allowed me to drive for 5-7 minutes straight. I was over the moon!   It didn’t last sadly. The whole month of April I could barely move my car over to one spot. I was devastated! The thoughts flooded me the same as yours are now. I took a minute to think it through…if it allowed me to do that then it will do that again and even better with a little more time. That’s why I went backwards again because it saw what I was doing and needed to fix it more so that I can do it better and longer. That’s how I’m choosing to see it! Because as the others said, this isn’t linear. I did the same thing when I started walking again. Now it’s no problem even on my rough days. 
Whether we believe in our healing or not, it will happen anyway (as the others said) in it’s time. I’m feeling like you are…I’m tired of this, frustrated and just want to have my normal functioning again. This is traumatic to go through. I agree with Katz that it is a good idea to speak with a real good talk therapists when someone is going through this. I personally have one too. Please hang in there and IMO look at the progress you’ve already made. Nothing in the body heals only part of the way. Our brains are the master of our bodies and it knows that it needs to operate at full capacity so it is working hard everyday to take care of the body and be in repair. 
Hugs 

[[jo...]]

53 minutes ago, [[L...] said:

I’m loving all the positive feedback on this one! 
im right at 4 years myself ( 46 months). I can relate to how you are feeling. I’ve found that when I get to a rough patch, the thoughts of if I’ll ever heal roars. Me personally, I see it as a symptom also. I’m not anywhere near where I thought I’d be…my vestibular issues are so slow to heal and still have me unable to go anywhere because it’s not tolerating being in a moving vehicle. In March it did make progress and allowed me to drive for 5-7 minutes straight. I was over the moon!   It didn’t last sadly. The whole month of April I could barely move my car over to one spot. I was devastated! The thoughts flooded me the same as yours are now. I took a minute to think it through…if it allowed me to do that then it will do that again and even better with a little more time. That’s why I went backwards again because it saw what I was doing and needed to fix it more so that I can do it better and longer. That’s how I’m choosing to see it! Because as the others said, this isn’t linear. I did the same thing when I started walking again. Now it’s no problem even on my rough days. 
Whether we believe in our healing or not, it will happen anyway (as the others said) in it’s time. I’m feeling like you are…I’m tired of this, frustrated and just want to have my normal functioning again. This is traumatic to go through. I agree with Katz that it is a good idea to speak with a real good talk therapists when someone is going through this. I personally have one too. Please hang in there and IMO look at the progress you’ve already made. Nothing in the body heals only part of the way. Our brains are the master of our bodies and it knows that it needs to operate at full capacity so it is working hard everyday to take care of the body and be in repair. 
Hugs 

I love your positive attitude! especially from someone who's been hit so hard. It gives a lot of hope to people.

[[st...]]

15 hours ago, [[P...] said:

I am 4 1/2 year out and seems like I’m getting worse now. A year ago I was in a great place in my healing. Now not so much. I’m starting to feel like I am degressing. It that possible? 

Hi, can you tell me any of the symptoms now present?

[[Ba...]]

13 hours ago, [[B...] said:

Hello @[Ba...],

Welcome to BenzoBuddies.

I just got your account rolling, so you are now free to post wherever you would like.  Please let us know how we can support you.

 

[[Ba...]]

I am unsure how to post?

 

[[Ba...]]

7 minutes ago, [[B...] said:

I am unsure how to post?

I am trying to navigate getting off of Ativan approximately .25 once a day as per my scale.

I took Ativan prn approximately 10 years 3-5 times a month at dose 1/4 or 1/2 of a .5. Pinching pieces. In Feb I stated to have sleep issues. I started trying 1/4-1/2 of Ativan every couple of nights and then trying other things between - tried getting back in 1.5 Lexapro but made worse, tried trazadone 2 nights made worse, tried clonidine hydroxezine etc..  never realizing that the nights I was using att an it was causing me to be tolerant withdrawal and maybe kindling…. All this time sleep disappeared worse than when I started. Anxiety terror fear like I’ve never had. Akathasia off on. So I was chasing healing this not knowing it was Ativan. After 5 weeks of almost no sleep at all my family and dr(unknowingly) said just take a .5 Ativan for a few nights bc I needed sleep and I was having medical tests. I did this for a bit over a week. Then I went down to 3/4 pill and played with that then 1/2 and since last week been on a half only .25 approx at night. I’ve been sick the whole time. I’m 5’1” and was 115 lbs now 100. Having lots of symptoms. Feeling unwell and scared. When I look back over these years I can piece together how those monthly doses were negatively affecting me. I am having paradoxical effects and inter dose withdrawal and whatever they call it. I want to jump from this dose bc the only thing that .25 allows is the sleep that I lost due to the Ativan. I want to dry scrape from that pill over weeks to get off. I am so sick I cannot take months and years bc it will harm me greatly. I cannot be ocd and obsessive about the perfection of it either. All the charts and details and numbers are so daunting and cause me to feel worse. My thought processes are simple snd I don’t want to be obssessed with it.

Can someone help me who has gone this?

I don’t want to be in fear either.

I don’t want to switch to Valium bc I am so sensitive to any and all meds that that might not work.

I’d appreciate help.

Thanks do much for allowing me yo post.

I appreciate the info and help here.

peace and blessings

banybug

[[Ba...]]

So many typos

sorry

 

babybug

[[Al...]]

Babybug, scroll to the top of the page and click topic, and go from there.  Welcome!

[[Ba...]]

Thank you

so I scroll from topic and then comment?