Updosing Support Group

[[Pl...]]

I don't know if I'm being wrong about this but it seems as

though updosing and long holds have a greater

chance of working with Valium then kolonopin...

at least that's what it seems like to me from what I've seen....

gosh I hope its not true... But I always see it working alot

with Valium ... Alot

 

When Bataid gave their advice I wonder if they notice

differences in their experiences with the various types of benzos...

. Or if they believe it works with valium it works with all benzos

my experience is a benzo isn't a benzo they all feel and work on

certain parts of us then the others do... My experience and

observations...

I was wondering if Bataid has alot of experience with kolonopin

Since I don't think its prescribed very much there in the UK?

Just curious

I wish I was given Valium instead

 

 

Even on Valley Ums propaganda list there are some quotations

kind of eluding to the fact that kolonopin works differently

and is much harder. When it comes to this... I don't know...

on the long hold support thread I never see any Kpin users except

for one and it didnt really work for her even based on a 6 month

hold and a decent updose.... But having said that....

She was a reinstatement after 3 years off and her original benzo was

ativan...

But again Valium seems to work more times then not

 

I took ativan as well and waited 10 months to take Kpin per

dr due to severe debilitating involuntary movements shaking/convulsions

tremoring...my story was kind of similar to hers but not quite....

 

I think with Kpin if you never went off of it your chances

are much better with updosing and holding

 

I keep trying to find that one person; just one who has experienced

something similar.... My sxs are so bizarre and pure torture

when I can't find anyone with them I feel extreme despair

and hopelessness and a sense of isolation that is too much to bear...

 

I hope someone that is reading this can provide some further insight....

 

Please understand I am not trying to dash hope but rather

trying to find it desperately myself....

I would be the first to give it if I could

 

Where are you that one person?  :'(

 

Well of course Ashton recommended swapping to Valium as it's a longer acting drug.  I swapped over from 7.5 mg Ativan to 75mg Diazepam with no problems and it has been a successful ploy for many

 

Thank you Susie for your kind response...

.i think the difference is I waited 10 months to reinstate

and that was my mistake because i concluded that i wasnt

supposed to reinstate and I suffered some pretty bad physical injury

to cns in the interim

Alot happened in those 10 months

 

I think I am expecting kolonopin to fix the physical injuries which are already deeply entrenched

And for me perhaps it is not possible to get to a stable place again

To make a taper bearable

I feel as though I am also being slammed by debilitating side effects

These drugs are really toxic to me - I feel so much better off then on

But I had to do something to curtail the unbearable physical- per dr. This was it

 

My system is extremely sensitized to any tiny change

I have been in a pickle for a very long time

Praying and looking for a way out

[[Pl...]]

I don't know if I'm being wrong about this but it seems as

though updosing and long holds have a greater

chance of working with Valium then kolonopin...

at least that's what it seems like to me from what I've seen....

gosh I hope its not true... But I always see it working alot

with Valium ... Alot

 

When Bataid gave their advice I wonder if they notice

differences in their experiences with the various types of benzos...

. Or if they believe it works with valium it works with all benzos

my experience is a benzo isn't a benzo they all feel and work on

certain parts of us then the others do... My experience and

observations...

I was wondering if Bataid has alot of experience with kolonopin

Since I don't think its prescribed very much there in the UK?

Just curious

I wish I was given Valium instead

 

 

Even on Valley Ums propaganda list there are some quotations

kind of eluding to the fact that kolonopin works differently

and is much harder. When it comes to this... I don't know...

on the long hold support thread I never see any Kpin users except

for one and it didnt really work for her even based on a 6 month

hold and a decent updose.... But having said that....

She was a reinstatement after 3 years off and her original benzo was

ativan...

But again Valium seems to work more times then not

 

I took ativan as well and waited 10 months to take Kpin per

dr due to severe debilitating involuntary movements shaking/convulsions

tremoring...my story was kind of similar to hers but not quite....

 

I think with Kpin if you never went off of it your chances

are much better with updosing and holding

 

I keep trying to find that one person; just one who has experienced

something similar.... My sxs are so bizarre and pure torture

when I can't find anyone with them I feel extreme despair

and hopelessness and a sense of isolation that is too much to bear...

 

I hope someone that is reading this can provide some further insight....

 

Please understand I am not trying to dash hope but rather

trying to find it desperately myself....

I would be the first to give it if I could

 

Where are you that one person?  :'(

 

 

 

 

 

I reinstated Klonopin, updosed, held and am doing fine on it.  Please remember, you are reading anecdoctal experiences on here.

 

Thank you willdoit for responding..... I explained my issue to Susie above... I think this is why

I'm having severe difficulty :'( :'( :'(

[Guest [wi...]]

I don't know if I'm being wrong about this but it seems as

though updosing and long holds have a greater

chance of working with Valium then kolonopin...

at least that's what it seems like to me from what I've seen....

gosh I hope its not true... But I always see it working alot

with Valium ... Alot

 

When Bataid gave their advice I wonder if they notice

differences in their experiences with the various types of benzos...

. Or if they believe it works with valium it works with all benzos

my experience is a benzo isn't a benzo they all feel and work on

certain parts of us then the others do... My experience and

observations...

I was wondering if Bataid has alot of experience with kolonopin

I don't know if I'm being wrong about this but it seems as

though updosing and long holds have a greater

chance of working with Valium then kolonopin...

at least that's what it seems like to me from what I've seen....

gosh I hope its not true... But I always see it working alot

with Valium ... Alot

 

When Bataid gave their advice I wonder if they notice

differences in their experiences with the various types of benzos...

. Or if they believe it works with valium it works with all benzos

my experience is a benzo isn't a benzo they all feel and work on

certain parts of us then the others do... My experience and

observations...

I was wondering if Bataid has alot of experience with kolonopin

Since I don't think its prescribed very much there in the UK?

Just curious

I wish I was given Valium instead

 

 

Even on Valley Ums propaganda list there are some quotations

kind of eluding to the fact that kolonopin works differently

and is much harder. When it comes to this... I don't know...

on the long hold support thread I never see any Kpin users except

for one and it didnt really work for her even based on a 6 month

hold and a decent updose.... But having said that....

She was a reinstatement after 3 years off and her original benzo was

ativan...

But again Valium seems to work more times then not

 

I took ativan as well and waited 10 months to take Kpin per

dr due to severe debilitating involuntary movements shaking/convulsions

tremoring...my story was kind of similar to hers but not quite....

 

I think with Kpin if you never went off of it your chances

are much better with updosing and holding

 

I keep trying to find that one person; just one who has experienced

something similar.... My sxs are so bizarre and pure torture

when I can't find anyone with them I feel extreme despair

and hopelessness and a sense of isolation that is too much to bear...

 

I hope someone that is reading this can provide some further insight....

 

Please understand I am not trying to dash hope but rather

trying to find it desperately myself....

I would be the first to give it if I could

 

Where are you that one person?  :'(

 

 

 

 

 

I reinstated Klonopin, updosed, held and am doing fine on it.  Please remember, you are reading anecdoctal experiences on here.

 

Thank you willdoit for responding..... I explained my issue to Susie above... I think this is why

I'm having severe difficulty :'( :'( :'(

Since I don't think its prescribed very much there in the UK?

Just curious

I wish I was given Valium instead

 

 

Even on Valley Ums propaganda list there are some quotations

kind of eluding to the fact that kolonopin works differently

and is much harder. When it comes to this... I don't know...

on the long hold support thread I never see any Kpin users except

for one and it didnt really work for her even based on a 6 month

hold and a decent updose.... But having said that....

She was a reinstatement after 3 years off and her original benzo was

ativan...

But again Valium seems to work more times then not

 

I took ativan as well and waited 10 months to take Kpin per

dr due to severe debilitating involuntary movements shaking/convulsions

tremoring...my story was kind of similar to hers but not quite....

 

I think with Kpin if you never went off of it your chances

are much better with updosing and holding

 

I keep trying to find that one person; just one who has experienced

something similar.... My sxs are so bizarre and pure torture

when I can't find anyone with them I feel extreme despair

and hopelessness and a sense of isolation that is too much to bear...

 

I hope someone that is reading this can provide some further insight....

 

Please understand I am not trying to dash hope but rather

trying to find it desperately myself....

I would be the first to give it if I could

 

Where are you that one person?  :'(

 

 

 

 

 

I reinstated Klonopin, updosed, held and am doing fine on it.  Please remember, you are reading anecdoctal experiences on here.

 

Thank you willdoit for responding..... I explained my issue to Susie above... I think this is why

I'm having severe difficulty :'( :'( :'(

 

I'm so sorry you're having such a terrible time with your taper.  You're getting some good input here.  Eventually things will get better.  Wdi

[[Pl...]]

I don't know if I'm being wrong about this but it seems as

though updosing and long holds have a greater

chance of working with Valium then kolonopin...

at least that's what it seems like to me from what I've seen....

gosh I hope its not true... But I always see it working alot

with Valium ... Alot

 

When Bataid gave their advice I wonder if they notice

differences in their experiences with the various types of benzos...

. Or if they believe it works with valium it works with all benzos

my experience is a benzo isn't a benzo they all feel and work on

certain parts of us then the others do... My experience and

observations...

I was wondering if Bataid has alot of experience with kolonopin

I don't know if I'm being wrong about this but it seems as

though updosing and long holds have a greater

chance of working with Valium then kolonopin...

at least that's what it seems like to me from what I've seen....

gosh I hope its not true... But I always see it working alot

with Valium ... Alot

 

When Bataid gave their advice I wonder if they notice

differences in their experiences with the various types of benzos...

. Or if they believe it works with valium it works with all benzos

my experience is a benzo isn't a benzo they all feel and work on

certain parts of us then the others do... My experience and

observations...

I was wondering if Bataid has alot of experience with kolonopin

Since I don't think its prescribed very much there in the UK?

Just curious

I wish I was given Valium instead

 

 

Even on Valley Ums propaganda list there are some quotations

kind of eluding to the fact that kolonopin works differently

and is much harder. When it comes to this... I don't know...

on the long hold support thread I never see any Kpin users except

for one and it didnt really work for her even based on a 6 month

hold and a decent updose.... But having said that....

She was a reinstatement after 3 years off and her original benzo was

ativan...

But again Valium seems to work more times then not

 

I took ativan as well and waited 10 months to take Kpin per

dr due to severe debilitating involuntary movements shaking/convulsions

tremoring...my story was kind of similar to hers but not quite....

 

I think with Kpin if you never went off of it your chances

are much better with updosing and holding

 

I keep trying to find that one person; just one who has experienced

something similar.... My sxs are so bizarre and pure torture

when I can't find anyone with them I feel extreme despair

and hopelessness and a sense of isolation that is too much to bear...

 

I hope someone that is reading this can provide some further insight....

 

Please understand I am not trying to dash hope but rather

trying to find it desperately myself....

I would be the first to give it if I could

 

Where are you that one person?  :'(

 

 

 

 

 

I reinstated Klonopin, updosed, held and am doing fine on it.  Please remember, you are reading anecdoctal experiences on here.

 

Thank you willdoit for responding..... I explained my issue to Susie above... I think this is why

I'm having severe difficulty :'( :'( :'(

Since I don't think its prescribed very much there in the UK?

Just curious

I wish I was given Valium instead

 

 

Even on Valley Ums propaganda list there are some quotations

kind of eluding to the fact that kolonopin works differently

and is much harder. When it comes to this... I don't know...

on the long hold support thread I never see any Kpin users except

for one and it didnt really work for her even based on a 6 month

hold and a decent updose.... But having said that....

She was a reinstatement after 3 years off and her original benzo was

ativan...

But again Valium seems to work more times then not

 

I took ativan as well and waited 10 months to take Kpin per

dr due to severe debilitating involuntary movements shaking/convulsions

tremoring...my story was kind of similar to hers but not quite....

 

I think with Kpin if you never went off of it your chances

are much better with updosing and holding

 

I keep trying to find that one person; just one who has experienced

something similar.... My sxs are so bizarre and pure torture

when I can't find anyone with them I feel extreme despair

and hopelessness and a sense of isolation that is too much to bear...

 

I hope someone that is reading this can provide some further insight....

 

Please understand I am not trying to dash hope but rather

trying to find it desperately myself....

I would be the first to give it if I could

 

Where are you that one person?  :'(

 

 

 

 

 

I reinstated Klonopin, updosed, held and am doing fine on it.  Please remember, you are reading anecdoctal experiences on here.

 

Thank you willdoit for responding..... I explained my issue to Susie above... I think this is why

I'm having severe difficulty :'( :'( :'(

 

I'm so sorry you're having such a terrible time with your taper.  You're getting some good input here.  Eventually things will get better.  Wdi

 

Thank you for your kindness

[Guest [wi...]]

Pleasebehere 

[[Pl...]]

Pleasebehere 

Back at you 

[Guest [Fu...]]

So now I have to wait five weeks to six months on the off chance that an updose will even work before I can even continue my snail's pace taper? Great!!

 

I swear to God I can't do this anymore. I'm ready to throw in the towel. Enough is enough already this is ridiculous. What am I supposed to do for potentially six months?! I'm barely getting out of bed to eat and go to the bathroom as it is. Also even at the start of my taper I was in severe tolerance withdrawal so the odds of me achieving stabilization seem very small. I just wanted "not 24/7 torture". I just want off these meds they are toxic and have already taken four years of my life but I'm supposed to wait another 6 months hoping I get back to at best tolerance wd? This is insane. Nothing should be THIS difficult.

[[no...]]

Hi Fuzzy  I spent over 10 years in unbeknown tolerance withdrawal on my prescribed dose and we all believe that we're going to be the exception that doesn't heal, our CNS is too fried I often feel that way but when symptoms ease off a bit I feel hopeful again. But we all suffer from the cruelty of having our hopes dashed when things are bad. Its the nature of this beast unfortunately, you see it all the time on the forum but the same people who believe they'll never heal do, I've read their success stories

 

I also don't believe that we go into tolerance withdrawal once we begin lowering our dose and have to hold its just plain old withdrawal symptoms then as far as I'm concerned, the symptoms I have now are way worse than when I was in tolerance withdrawal all that time from tapering  too fast after I read Ashton, I was doing fine at my own pace. I know the other persons  post below is regarding reinstatement but its works same way  as up-dosing, they thought they were never going to recover but they did 

 

Love Nova xxx  :smitten:

 

 

The  reinstatement stabilized at some point & the slow taper kept me ok. It wasn't anything like the previous attempts. I could have worked some simple job at least but.. well, I just didn't. I was scared I would crash eventually. I was one of those who wasn't going to recover, I could always think of some reason to think the damage would be permanent or at least I would forever be left with lingering issues. The recovery stories were inspiring but there was always the nagging doubt I wouldn't be one of those: my history was too messy, my symptoms too severe - my brain has to be fried and I'll forever be crippled, too many reinstatements, too many adverse effects, the recovered ones had different symptoms, I had started using the drugs when I was still developing.. etc etc.

 

 

 

But sure enough things got better. By the end of 2014 I applied for a few jobs and got one. It was simple manual labour. I had such a low self esteem for being an outcast for so long and having a CV with a hole so big you could drive a truck through. I felt a bit like an alien among normal people. So I overcompensated maybe a bit and I guess that got noticed and I got a few raises and ended up in a managerial position despite my social anxiety. My self esteem grew, I even met a girl through work that I had a short relationship with.

[Guest [Fu...]]

Thank you for the reply. Yeah I was really hoping to at least get back to feeling how I did at the beginning of my taper so that I could do it much more slowly this time and maybe I still will it's just so disheartening to be back at the dose I started at after a year of hard work and to be suffering so much on top of it. But knowing that there's no guarantee is just such torture. There's no sure thing in this process at all. Sorry, I'm just having a really rough time and it's so hard not to freak out. But I appreciate the support. I hope things improve.

[[Tw...]]

Thank you for the reply. Yeah I was really hoping to at least get back to feeling how I did at the beginning of my taper so that I could do it much more slowly this time and maybe I still will it's just so disheartening to be back at the dose I started at after a year of hard work and to be suffering so much on top of it. But knowing that there's no guarantee is just such torture. There's no sure thing in this process at all. Sorry, I'm just having a really rough time and it's so hard not to freak out. But I appreciate the support. I hope things improve.

 

I had an awful time trying to come off Klonopin and found Valium to be a better match for me to taper off of dramatically. Incase your looking to try something new. Inter dose withdrawal went away and went from dosing K 3 times daily to V twice daily. Go easy on yourself, this is so so difficult.

[Guest [Fu...]]

I've tried to find a prescriber who will do a proper Ashton crossover and in three and a half years haven't found one. It's added to my frustration and feeling completely on my own. The closest I came was a substitution with the incorrect equivalency dosage (at least by Ashton's standards).

 

It's just so frustrating because with anything else if I wanted to stop I just stopped. Smoking cigarettes, drinking alcohol, etc. With Klonopin it is the last thing I want to put in my body but I HAVE to and that's so hard to accept when it is what has turned my life to complete shit and I have to keep taking it for so many more months if not years. I wish I just kept pushing through at 1.5. At least I would be getting close to gaving this poison out of my system while suffering so badly.

[[no...]]

Thank you for the reply. Yeah I was really hoping to at least get back to feeling how I did at the beginning of my taper so that I could do it much more slowly this time and maybe I still will it's just so disheartening to be back at the dose I started at after a year of hard work and to be suffering so much on top of it. But knowing that there's no guarantee is just such torture. There's no sure thing in this process at all. Sorry, I'm just having a really rough time and it's so hard not to freak out. But I appreciate the support. I hope things improve.

Hi Fuzzy  I'm back at the dose I was at two years ago so believe me when I say I know how you feel, but I had to do something and if this is it so be it Plenty of other people had to go backwards to get forward and they healed in a shorter time than they would have done just hanging in there from the very beginning. For instance this from this thread ..

 

''.Anyone updose and feel worse!http://www.benzobuddies.org/forum/index.php?topic=123182.msg1626054

 

 

This person here said....

 

alabamawerle

 

    Buddie

    *****

    Posts: 2,664

    Gender: Female

   

Re: Anyone updose and feel worse!

« Reply #5 on: December 18, 2014, 03:32:59 pm »

 

    Quote

 

One thing I did not mention in my PM, was that I jumped from clonazepam and it went bad.....really bad. So I went back on to 0.25mg. Then after holding for a while I had to updose a tiny bit more so an extra 0.0625mg....I held on this for 4 months. I think I healed a lot when I did this. So that when I jumped for the last time on OCt 1st, I did not have that much healing to do. And in hindsight this makes so much sense to me, why not heal while you are still taking a small dose? So your body is not completely traumatized.... It's kind of like a mock jump! with an extra parachute!

 

A few times when I updosed and did not stabilize my dr had me updose some more and hold.  There really is no point in making yourself so miserable you can't continue........A break is a break....we all need them sometimes....and just because you are close to the end doesn't mean a break isn't warranted. My doctor used ot always say that healing is always taking place regardless..........so do what you have to do to reach the finish line

 

Here is their signature......

 

Misdiagnosed rare stomach disorder as a mental health disorder.

 

ATIVAN 3x day direct crossover to the equivalent CLONAZEPAM 3x day for daily total of 2.5mg, OLANZIPINE (can't remember the dose as I was doing ECT shock treatment at the time ), ZOPICLONE 15mg/day Total years on benzo and z, including w/d :5. 

Tapered Olanz  and jumped, then alternated clonaz and z taper and jumped z , resumed clonaz  w/d. Dry cuts and hold method.  Several long holds, many updoses, a few rescue doses and a couple of falling off the wagons and I finally jumped from 0.0625mg  Clonaz OCTOBER 1st 2014.

Had bad depression after jumping and went on low dose of Celexa. I am still healing anyway and am 70% healed now.

 

 

 

 

 

Here is their success story 11 months after jumping...

 

alabamawerle

 

    Buddie

    *****

    Posts: 2,664

    Gender: Female

        View Profile Personal Message (Offline)

 

11 months out,solving the symptoms puzzle: what is benzo related and what isn't?

« on: August 27, 2015, 04:39:01 pm »

 

    Quote

 

Hey folks!

 

 

I am 11 months out and feeling bloody fantastic. For those of you who have not been following my story you can  read a bit here http://benzobuddies.org/about-us/meet-the-team/

 

I have to say that going on an SSRI was by far the best decision I made post w/d. My depression was so severe that I had no other choice. You can read about that difficult decision here http://www.benzobuddies.org/forum/index.php?topic=136624.0

 

Now that the depression is out of the way, I am fully functional. What does that mean? Well I am working in my field, I am volunteering, I socialize all the time, I ride my bike everywhere, I laugh a lot, I eat well, I drink wine! I make plans and keep them, I have loads of energy and I love my life. I honestly feel better than I ever have before in my adult life.

 

What changed? Well I think it was a combination of things. When I was in w.d, I felt so horrible that I was desperate for anything to grasp onto that would make me feel better. A relaxing tea, adrenal support, special diet, probiotics, herbs, massages etc etc. On occasion these things helped. But I wanted to be that person who stopped eating gluten or dairy for example, or took an herb that magically made everything better. I was looking for a fix. Unfortunately I now know in hindsight, the only thing that worked, was time.

 

I was busy trying to solve my physical and mental pain without letting the root of the problem (healing from benzo w/d) to take place first. I didn;t trust that it ever would. How can you when you feel miserable everyday for years of your life? However now that I feel better and the root of the problem is no longer a problem , it is much easier to tell what's what. And to tell if something I am trying is working. Before my symptoms were all related to benzo w/d and therefore unpredictable and unstable.  Sure I probably had food allergies or tired adrenals, but fixing them in w/d just wasn;t going to happen.

 

For example, Now that I am good, I had my food allergies tested and cut out the offending foods. Within 2 days I felt better than I had in years. I tried food allergy testing 3 times in w/d and I cut out the foods and it NEVER made a difference. This time, without w/d in the background , it worked.  I upped my probiotics to fix my GI tract, and it made me feel fantastic, instantly! I started taking vitamins and I could feel a good reaction or a bad reaction right away. Before in w/d, I could never tell if I was having a bad reaction or it was just a coincidence , and w/d was just really bad that day. All that to say, it is so hard to decipher what is what in w/d. ANd even harder to do fine tuning on your health with positive results when you are competing with the mother of all monsters, benzo w/d.

 

I feel really amazing. I actually love my life. I am healed. I survived. So can you.  If I could go back and give a piece of advice to my younger benzo w/d self. I would say this "Relax, everything is going to work out.Don't worry too much about the symptoms and don;t try too hard to fix them no matter how horrible they are. Just get through it and know that on the other side of this, there is true healing waiting to happen. I promise you feel as good as you did when you were a kid."

 

Here is one thing though i did not expect. I thought , when I am feeling better I will just be so busy enjoying and living life. However, I feel so good now, after feeling so horrible for so long that it is hard to trust it. I keep thinking, when is the other shoe going to drop? But the further I am post w/d, the better I feel , the less I worry about it and start to trust it.

 

You will get there, I promise. I have no stomach pain, no dizziness and depression. All things that crippled me in w/d. You will get there and when you do, you will be able to figure out what is benzo w/d, what are the after effects of w/d in recovery and what isn;t benzo related. Right now it is too hard to tell. SO don;t be too hard on yourself because you can;t figure out what is "really" wrong with you. Benzo w/d is wrong with you. Get that out of the way first and then go out and start living you best life and start healing you body and soul from this traumatic experience.

 

Much love, Alabama. xoxo

 

 

And here is their summary about Benzo withdrawal....

 

alabamawerle

 

    Buddie

    *****

    Posts: 2,664

    Gender: Female

        View Profile Personal Message (Offline)

 

Re: 11 months out,solving the symptoms puzzle: what is benzo related and what isn't?

« Reply #23 on: October 07, 2015, 02:09:01 am »

 

    Quote

 

I am one year Benzo Free!

 

Here are some things I know for sure

 

1. Everything has to be done sequentially. There are no steps you can skip.

2. There are no band-aid solutions. None. Stop looking for them It's a waste of time.

3. Time does heal.

4. Not everything is benzo related

5. Not all drugs are evil

6. Not all doctors are evil

7. Sometimes you have to take 1 step backwards to go 2 steps forwards.

8. Sometime holding is the best thing you can do.

9. It's ok to updose

10. Every single person in w/d will have their own unique experience

11. While doing research is a good idea to educate yourself. There IS such a thing as doing too much research.

12. Obsessing about food, symptoms, medications is not helpful in the slightest. If you feel yourself doing this. Stop.

13. When your brain heals, your body heals. Period. What's left over is the aftermath and will need you attention then. Not now.

14. Being gentle to yourself can't hurt you

15. It's only an opinion on BB, not fact.

16. You are stronger than you think

17. Just when it can't get worse it will get way worse. Benzo w/d can be brutal.

18. Manage your symptoms don't try to control them. You are not in control. You have to let go.

19. Everyone is scared and that's ok. We are supposed to be

20. You are not weak. Benzos have made you weak. You have been temporarily disabled. This is a brain injury so treat it as such. And don't believe anyone who says it isn't. This is real. Benzo w/d is real. But it will not define you. You will leave it behind one day. I promise.

 

 

 

 

So regardless of many updose, rescue doses, falling off the wagon a few times they still healed  to at least 70% in under a year after their last updose. And this is just one of many people in our position I've read healed even to 110% after trying more than a once, up-dosing more than once, or reinstating and up-dosing more than once, so yes its super hell really crap and fkn hard right now but we will  get there. We just have to be as patient as we possibly can and let the updose work, I want it to work last week as well but unfortunately  it takes more time  than that to stabilise.

 

 

Love Nova xxx  :smitten:

 

 

[[Da...]]

Hey guys I updosed to .876mg 10 days ago and my sxs aren't improving. This nausea is really unrelenting. How long do I wait for improvements before I decide to updose more. And how much more do I go up? 1mg, 1.25mg?

 

I'm just not sure what to do here and I'm begging for guidance.

[[Ca...]]

Nova, Thanks so much for taking the time to compile those very relatable and informative posts, and your own encouragement...

It has been a challenge not to lose some hope on this taper, but i see light at the end of the tunnel...

 

Hope things are improving for you each day...

Best wishes...

 

FuzzyD, thinking of you... The hard work is never wasted, you are still healing in some aspect... just that in a lot more comfort would be nice...

Stay strong...

 

 

 

[[Ca...]]

Hey guys I updosed to .876mg 10 days ago and my sxs aren't improving. This nausea is really unrelenting. How long do I wait for improvements before I decide to updose more. And how much more do I go up? 1mg, 1.25mg?

 

I'm just not sure what to do here and I'm begging for guidance.

Hey Dad... All i can say, is what i would do...

And that would be to get to a point that i am happy to hold at... And i mean seriously hold...

So, for me, that would mean going up in decent chunks, probably every 2nd day...

-I would understand that i would most likely overshoot the mark.. As soon as i got to the point i felt i could hold at for some months, I would use my detailed records in my daily diary to best guess how far ahead of my sx i am in my updosing, and cut that (probably last 1-2) extra updoses out...

Then I would hold from this just managae point untill I knew for extra sure i was improving even more...

Then I would go back to a much slower micro taper, probably with some regular built in holds, and most definatly hold at the first sign of trouble..

Yes it will be slow... Yes it will be achievable... Yes I would be much happier about it all than I am today..

I would also remember that my current problems almos most certainly stem from things I did months ago... (in my sig that would be November December...)

 

If anyone sees any problems with "my" plan, pls explain...

 

[Guest [Fu...]]

Thank you for doing that Nova I appreciate it. It really is so hard to accept that time is the only thing that will heal this since we obviously can't just put our lives on pause in the meantime. Just getting through everyday when all of my distractions no longer work and depression has beaten me down is so difficult. But I have to try and stay positive that healing will occur.

[[no...]]

Hi everyone  how are you all doing? Fuzzy D, do you feel any better at all? I hope so I've I’ve updated my progress log so to save re-typing here's the link if anyone's interested in reading it http://www.benzobuddies.org/forum/index.php?topic=175402.msg2348071#msg2348071

 

 

 

 

Love Nova xxx :smitten:

[[be...]]

Hi everyone  how are you all doing? Fuzzy D, do you feel any better at all? I hope so I've I’ve updated my progress log so to save re-typing here's the link if anyone's interested in reading it http://www.benzobuddies.org/forum/index.php?action=post;msg=2348071;topic=175402.0

 

 

 

 

Love Nova xxx :smitten:

[glow=red,2,300]Fanstatic read, "Sista"[/glow] thank you for letting us know that you are trying and it sounds good. We are all here for you Nova. :smitten:

[[no...]]

Hi everyone  how are you all doing? Fuzzy D, do you feel any better at all? I hope so I've I’ve updated my progress log so to save re-typing here's the link if anyone's interested in reading it http://www.benzobuddies.org/forum/index.php?action=post;msg=2348071;topic=175402.0

 

 

 

 

Love Nova xxx :smitten:

[glow=red,2,300]Fanstatic read, "Sista"[/glow] thank you for letting us know that you are trying and it sounds good. We are all here for you Nova. :smitten:

Hi Sista'  Here's a laugh, my update was  for this month and I had typed it out but forgot to post *March* before I put the link up, I just found my ''Update'' on my PC just now :laugh: So I've posted it now DOH!!  Apparently my brain fog if in full swing happy reading hahaha!!! 

 

 

Love Nova xxx  :smitten:

[[Ca...]]

Hey Nova, might b just a boy thing... but I just get an error page... (from the link)

But hope you are holding up ok??

I am just finding out how crazy this mixed up medicine mess can get...!!!

 

Hope everyone is hanging in, eyes on the prize...

 

[[no...]]

Hey Nova, might b just a boy thing... but I just get an error page... (from the link)

But hope you are holding up ok??

I am just finding out how crazy this mixed up medicine mess can get...!!!

 

Hope everyone is hanging in, eyes on the prize...

Hi CF  I put the wrong link up,  try it again it should work ok now

 

http://www.benzobuddies.org/forum/index.php?topic=175402.msg2348071#msg2348071

 

 

Love Nova xxx  :smitten:

[[no...]]

Hi everyone  how are you all doing? Fuzzy D, do you feel any better at all? I hope so I've I’ve updated my progress log so to save re-typing here's the link if anyone's interested in reading it http://www.benzobuddies.org/forum/index.php?topic=175402.msg2348071#msg2348071

 

 

 

 

Love Nova xxx :smitten:

OPPS!!!! THE ABOVE POST THE LINK IS WRONG, THIS IS THE RIGHT ONE http://www.benzobuddies.org/forum/index.php?topic=175402.msg2348071#msg2348071

 

 

 

Love Nova xxx  :smitten:

[[Ca...]]

Thanks Nova.. its good reading that which i can relate to in ways... similar types of sx etc...

But I wont mention my washing pile...

 

All the best...

[Guest [Fu...]]

Hi Nova,

 

I'm still really depressed and sleeping like 13 hours a day because I just don't want to face the reality of real life. I'm tired of being misunderstood by everyone in my life from friends and family to prescribers. But I'm trying to hang in there. Glad things seem to be improving for you please keep us posted.

[[no...]]

Hi everyone.  talk about getting kicked in the head while crawling up hill  I have an ongoing noise problem with my upstairs neighbour, and I've been extremely tired as I keep getting woken up by him , and his dog running wild until all  hours, and form yesterday morning up until now. I've had no sleep as the noise is loud and continuous, and he's got his kid over whose wild and loud and the two of them plus the dog run around all night, and are one of the main reasons I've had to updose.

 

There was no way I could continue my taper at the low dose I had gotten to with no proper rest and all this noise, I've been offered home swaps on a home swap website but I'm too ill to go out and there's no way I could get into a vehicle now either. The last time I went on a bus it was awful I felt like death, 2 years ago and I wasn't aware it was Benzo withdrwal causing the problems, and that's when the shit hit the fan and I should have up-dosed then.

 

But unfortunately I was really fragile and listened to well meaning advice that the escalation of symptoms I was having were''normal'' and to carry on tapering, no one suggested holding or going back to the last dose I was stable for a while and that's when I crashed, became housebound and disabled  and have been struggling since. I eventually did long holds of over 3 and  6 months but was still going down hill, and eventually ended up spending most of my time laying on the floor barely functioning so the logical thing to do was updose.

 

Once I stabilise I will then move as its impossible to taper under these conditions, I have both physical and mental symptoms of which chemical induced  anxiety and fear are really prevalent. Along with ever growing depression bought about by my environment, I get worried that I'll snap and either end up in a mental hospital or in jail as I won't be able to control it at one point.

 

It makes me feel homicidal on times and I want to do anything to make the torture stop . I used to look forward to week ends as a time when it was quiet and everyone was winding down but now since this prick moved in a year ago its bad enough during the week and the  W/E is even worse. He's definitely on  street drugs, and he's getting more and more aggressive, he spent most of Thursday and Friday screaming and threatening to kill his girlfriend on the phone, and I'm wondering if he's on steroids as well as he's gotten into body building and spends hours clanking weights about up there.

 

That's what is sounded like when he was making death threats steroid rage, he lost it completely and was throwing stuff, kicking stuff, and I'm also convinced, well I know he takes Amphetamine along with whatever else as he stays up for days and nights at a time keeping me awake in and out constantly slamming doors for hours. I recorded part of the last death threat I heard him making on Friday and you can hear it clearly him scream at the top of his voice then yelling I'm gonna fkn kill you!!

 

That's how he makes me feel about him very often causing me sleep deprivation and my symptoms rocketing every-time I begin to feel I'm making headway, it fkn sucks arse big time  Oh well! you never know I might have some miraculous break through and things may turn around for the better it goes like that with this crap, maybe stabilisation is nearer than I think, I've read success stories were people were working under hell conditions in high pressure jobs and had to fly  :D  And give speeches, huge corporate presentations , and Constantly  felt like their brains were going to blow apart and melt due to noise and stimulation yet still got better regardless of everything I hope for better times very soon  for all for us that are so desperately in need of it

 

 

 

Love Nova xxx  :smitten: