Updosing Support Group

[[Ca...]]

Too true Blaggy... Im in no rush to feel like I did at the end of last year, ever again...

But the longer I hold now, the more my body is sorting this shit out...

 

One month isnt long in benzo land, for many people..

 

 

[[po...]]

Well Im joining this thread because I up dosed a 1/2 mg last night to try and stabilize.  I was so TORN about to do it or not.  In the end I just couldn't see continuing to taper while feeling unable to cope with the symptoms I already had.  I had made to big of a cut in April and when symptoms hit I immediately updated a little to where I was before the cut and after 25 days was still continuing to get worse.  I hope this updose works.  This is where I felt normal after reinstating from a Dr. prescribed 4 week taper into acute hell.  I hope I haven't messed my brain up too much by doing this.  If anyone has any insight as to if I screwed my brain up or did the right thing I'd love to hear.  I'm trying to be a mom to 2 kids while going through all this.

[[Ca...]]

Hey Pook.. -Sounds like your on the right track to me.. -as right as this can ever get...

Just see how u go by sx...

My small updoses work quick... hope its the same for you...

I am a full time single dad, and there is no way i will choose to push on down too fast, beyond what my body can adjust to...

But im still holding from my initial too low taper starting point...

Just see how things go over the coming weeks...

Best wishes...

[[po...]]

so it's day 6 of my 1/2mg updose of diazepam and I see no change.  This was my dose I reinstated at and felt completely normal at 2 months ago.  I know valium takes awhile but shouldn't I be feeling something after 6 days?  Im really scared its not going to work!

[[no...]]

so it's day 6 of my 1/2mg updose of diazepam and I see no change.  This was my dose I reinstated at and felt completely normal at 2 months ago.  I know valium takes awhile but shouldn't I be feeling something after 6 days?  Im really scared its not going to work!

Hi Pooky  Read my opening post below from this group,  it can take sometime for an updose to work properly even if it worked immediately in the past, it can be different each time there's no set rules with it

 

 

Love Nova xxx  :smitten:

 

Hi all 

 

 

I've started a support  as there's is quiet a few of us on here that have had to up-dosed or recently, or are seriously  considering it, and other than posting all over the forum there's no actual support for those of us who have actually done it, or want to try it. And  If you do post regarding up-dosing your more likely to get frighted off by  people who haven't tried it giving negative replies out of fear of what they've read with no actual personal experience, or they did it as a one off and it never worked.

 

 

Or they took a tiny insignificant dose that would never had worked as it was way too low to be of any help.  I up-dosed just over 10 weeks ago and am still cycling with symptoms. People also need to know that  as it can commonly  take anything  from a few weeks up to a few months to stabilise. Its not often you get relief in a matter of days, and most people don't hold the up-dose long enough for it to work, and some peole will actually feel worse before they feel better that's another common factor.

 

 

And sometimes you may feel your going backwards before you establish stability too, you have to have patience and hang in there. I've had some oh my God WTF !! days then the next, day has been really good, as  its not linear while you wait to stabilise, it still shocks me how things can turn around for no logical reason I can find anyway.

 

 

And you will still get waves  before you stabilise, that's another reason people think the updose has gone wrong as they expect instant stability or at the very  least 3 days then it should  work. That not true, in most cases it takes a longer time time, I was I a mess at  3.45mg and barely surviving  struggling to get under 4mg for the last 2 years and couldn't taper no more so up-dosed back to 5mg where I was last in January 2015, on November 19th 2016.

 

 

 

My original dose was 20mg and it took me along time to get down from there as I was also taken CT off other Benzos and high doses of all sorts of poly drugs. I'm having some good, bad, okay and hell days still so I'm not stabilised yet so will continue holding here, if I feel in a few months I need to updose again I will do so, If I feel I am able to cut then I will cut. I've been housebound in agony for most of the last two years, so I had to change tactics. I hope this group will be of help to sort out the myths, repeated fear with no substance, except people who get scared to try anything different to help their self  by what they read.

 

 

 

I myself fell into that camp before I decided to be the master of my own fate and that if I didn't try I would never know what will or won't help me, there is no one size fits all or any guarantees about anything in life, and we can't gage ourselves by others. Everything and anything is maybe it will or won't work for us situation but only we can know that by trying it for ourselves.

 

 

I am not putting myself forward as some expert,  I no no more or less than anyone else I'm  just another soul trying to find their way out of the suffering we're all going through, and I've chosen to updose. I live alone with no help or support and if I can't function then I can't survive, I'm hoping for at least 30% better or more than I am now. I can cope with discomfort, but I can't cope with being physically and mentally disabled any longer and do nothing to try make it better, I know it takes time but it takes trying something too if you possibly can at anytime.

Love Nova xxx    :smitten:

[[Ge...]]

so it's day 6 of my 1/2mg updose of diazepam and I see no change.  This was my dose I reinstated at and felt completely normal at 2 months ago.  I know valium takes awhile but shouldn't I be feeling something after 6 days?  Im really scared its not going to work!

 

I would give it a few weeks and if still not better I would updose more significantly.  That's just me.. that's what I did...

[[la...]]

Well we clearly needed this thread -- thanks Nova.  As you can see from my a profile I updosed many times in my long struggle to come off these drugs but I did make it in the end so maybe I will get an award for the longest prescribed Benzo user ever to get off it   

 

Updosing can and does work for some of us but it's time and patience that is the secret to success.  I do feel that people prescribed it for Anxiety suffer the most because it seems to rear its ugly head in that field in withdrawal, so for whatever reason we are given it in the first place it's my belief that those are the main symptoms that return in withdrawal especially if we cut too quickly and end up in the dilemma of having to decide whether or not to reinstate.  It's always a good idea to talk openly even if we disagree with someone else because in reality there is no definite right or wrong way and the choice is there for each of us to make for ourselves after much deliberation 

 

what a great story...I need something to help me  because I can NOT go any further in this...I am a "mad woman" at this point....so I see neurologist in a week and will see what she says.  thank you for sharing

[[Da...]]

Hey guys.

 

I'm trying like hell to stabilize yet again. I was dlmt but got down to .732mg k and got slammed again.  I updosed to .75mg because it had been a few weeks since I was at that dose and I've been there for almost a week with no great improvements. My nausea and pins and needles improved some but they're kinda coming and going again. The emotional/mental sxs (agitation, irritability, restlessness and depression) are eating away at me.

 

I'm not sure if I should updose further or wait it out at .75mg.... how long do you think I should give the .75mg before going up more?

[[Da...]]

I did a rescue dose of 1mg and tapered down over 4 days to .75mg....

[[Ca...]]

Yes, the frontload...

you have a long history of having a hard time with cuts, and the taper in general...

There are probably many opinions on how to procede...

My best guess, were it me, would be to do a healthy updose... -I would go to at least 1mg probably much more... (up to you)

Then I would hold for a month or two after stable, even if it takes a year... and i DO think you will get stable... long holds are not as simple as they may first appear and there are things to learn...

Then I would start tapering very slowly, and find your SX based taper speed from there...

 

It is possible that you wont end up too far behind (fully healed post jump), in the long run...

 

Best wishes..

[Guest [ca...]]

Hi all  I'm very happy I found this group because everyone is so supportive and not quick to judge.

I am 10 weeks out and the anxiety and panic are still so rough for me especially "anticipatory" anxiety. I have also been going through one of the most stressful times in my life with my Dad passing away and now in the thick of taking over the family business. I took 1mg of ativan for 10 years for anxiety. I know now (wasn't looking at this site) that I tapered way too fast but I was following my dr's plan. I'm going through acute but I NEED to be on top of things right now and I'm feeling absolutely exhausted from withdrawal. I'm also going to Europe in July.

 

I've had to take some rescue doses in the last couple of weeks. Can I continue to take rescue doses when I really need to or would it be better to reinstate at a low dose and start a much slower taper?  I know some people say that reinstating doesn't really help after this amount of time? I know the ultimate goal is to be med free but I need to be able to function  Really appreciate any thoughts you have

 

 

[[Da...]]

Thanks cantfly. I can't updose to 1mg bc I don't have enough meds to do that. My pdoc gives me enough to stay at .75mg.

 

I did have a window, according to my wife, Tuesday and Wednesday am. But then crashed Wednesday afternoon and today has been bad. She thinks I'm just having a wave yesterday afternoon and today as my body tries to stabilize but I personally think I'm going to just get worse and worse every day.

 

Is it a good sign that I had a window Tuesday or do you think I'm in for a rough ride at this point? She says I'll be better tomorrow.

[[ka...]]

Dad - Yes, windows - no matter how long or short they last - are a great sign and a relief for our very taxed CNS. When you are in the midst of a wave, remind yourself of what it was like in the window. Have your wife remind you of how you felt, if you have a difficult time remembering it. Hang on to those moments, they are real and will help carry you thru.  The brain is healing, yet in the midst of these waves and healing process one finds that one questions everything that one would generally not think twice about. It does feel as tho this will never end, but it will.  There are days when i feel like i will never heal, that tapering will never find the 0 mark - those are the benzo lies in our mind.    Be encouraged, you are really doing a great job with your tapering. You will make it and you will one day be better than you ever were. Healing is happening. Keep up the great work. 

[[Ca...]]

Sorry Dad, -was sleeping here...

Thats a bugger about the Dr, but it sounds like you have been healing and catching up...

so continue on as best you can...

I wonder if others do see it more clearly than we do...? I think my 4 boys are at times, expecting to inherit... lol

I found window time to get a bit crazey, then it all changed for the better...

 

Kasey makes good points... -you may be closer than you suspect...

Try to get to that "sweet spot" to taper from, and trust in yourself...

 

Hang in there...

 

 

[[Ca...]]

Hi all  I'm very happy I found this group because everyone is so supportive and not quick to judge.

I am 10 weeks out and the anxiety and panic are still so rough for me especially "anticipatory" anxiety. I have also been going through one of the most stressful times in my life with my Dad passing away and now in the thick of taking over the family business. I took 1mg of ativan for 10 years for anxiety. I know now (wasn't looking at this site) that I tapered way too fast but I was following my dr's plan. I'm going through acute but I NEED to be on top of things right now and I'm feeling absolutely exhausted from withdrawal. I'm also going to Europe in July.

 

I've had to take some rescue doses in the last couple of weeks. Can I continue to take rescue doses when I really need to or would it be better to reinstate at a low dose and start a much slower taper?  I know some people say that reinstating doesn't really help after this amount of time? I know the ultimate goal is to be med free but I need to be able to function  Really appreciate any thoughts you have

Hi  Calm, sorry for your loss..

How are the rescue doses working for you?

If ok, Then I would guess that an updose should be effective too, and more dose stability, a better thing...

From there it sounds like you know the path... -slow and SX guided to the level of function you want...

Train your Dr early...

Best wishes...

[[Da...]]

Dad - Yes, windows - no matter how long or short they last - are a great sign and a relief for our very taxed CNS. When you are in the midst of a wave, remind yourself of what it was like in the window. Have your wife remind you of how you felt, if you have a difficult time remembering it. Hang on to those moments, they are real and will help carry you thru.  The brain is healing, yet in the midst of these waves and healing process one finds that one questions everything that one would generally not think twice about. It does feel as tho this will never end, but it will.  There are days when i feel like i will never heal, that tapering will never find the 0 mark - those are the benzo lies in our mind.    Be encouraged, you are really doing a great job with your tapering. You will make it and you will one day be better than you ever were. Healing is happening. Keep up the great work. 

 

Thanks kasey. I see you're LMT.... how are you feeling? Did you cut and hold prior? Do you see any improvements with LMT?

[Guest [ca...]]

Thank you Cantfly. The rescue doses do help. This has been such a rollercoaster so I think some stability is better for me right now. Then I am very ready to slow down and listen to what works for me. Such a crazy journey. No idea how hard this was going to be. My hope is that it will make us all stronger in the end. Onward!

[[Ca...]]

Thank you Cantfly. The rescue doses do help. This has been such a rollercoaster so I think some stability is better for me right now. Then I am very ready to slow down and listen to what works for me. Such a crazy journey. No idea how hard this was going to be. My hope is that it will make us all stronger in the end. Onward!

You will do fine...!!!

And yes, Bullet proof in every way by the end of this...

How can one not be... -a good thought to hold on to...

Cheers...

[[ka...]]

Dad - Yes, windows - no matter how long or short they last - are a great sign and a relief for our very taxed CNS. When you are in the midst of a wave, remind yourself of what it was like in the window. Have your wife remind you of how you felt, if you have a difficult time remembering it. Hang on to those moments, they are real and will help carry you thru.  The brain is healing, yet in the midst of these waves and healing process one finds that one questions everything that one would generally not think twice about. It does feel as tho this will never end, but it will.  There are days when i feel like i will never heal, that tapering will never find the 0 mark - those are the benzo lies in our mind.    Be encouraged, you are really doing a great job with your tapering. You will make it and you will one day be better than you ever were. Healing is happening. Keep up the great work. 

 

Thanks kasey. I see you're LMT.... how are you feeling? Did you cut and hold prior? Do you see any improvements with LMT?

Thanks for asking! I began with c/h until I reached the 4mg mark. It became too difficult for me at that dose. So I then began reducing by .02ml daily, once that became too much for me ( i think that was around the 3mg total), I shifted to .01ml daily. I have had to hold for the 2014 year due to a family crisis. Then in 2016 i held for 3 months for my sons wedding, and 3 months for hm renovations & my MIL to move in with us.  When i resumed my taper this January, I began MT every 3rd day, w/in in a few weeks I was reducing by .01 every other day. Every so often I have a window where I am able to reduce .01ml daily for a few weeks. Then it catches up and I have to hold to stabilize to my baseline. Then I start it up all over again. I am having to taper 2 medications at one time, wh/ complicates my tapering. Many are able to to handle a .01ml reduction daily to every other day. btw - when things get really rough for me - i am able to nip it in the bud by up dosing a tiny bit for a few days and then hold a bit and then i can resume my MT 

[[po...]]

I think Ive asked before!  I was stabile and fine on .75 klon.  But i just wanted to get off eventually.  Well my Dr. said why not just get off now??  He said switch to librium, reduce over 4 weeks and you'll be done!  So I did that.  A week later I was thrown into acute PSYCHOSIS.  I lasted 3weeks more like that and a new dr. reinstated me to only 5mg liquid valium and it worked!  Was normal.  so slowly started tapering .05 every 5 days or so.  Was fine.  Then stupidly made a .25 cut on my syringe.  2 days later getting bad so I updosed to where I was before stupid mistake 4.5mg.  kept getting worse.  14 days ago I went back to 5mg.  STILL getting worse!  What is happening to me??  My dr gave propranolol but I swear that makes my anxiety worse when it wears off.  He said to updose to 10 mg!  what? ! 

1. Im afraid it won't work.

2. I'll be way farther back then.

3.  Do you think if i updose just to 6mg I might find relief??

 

Im in a constant panic attack state.  I feel like my body is just going to break down if I don't get some relief!  What should I do??  I was fine before that dumb cut.

PLEASE GIVE ADVISE

Thank you

[[Ca...]]

Hey Pooky, -I wonder if it was more everything catching up, than just that 0.25 cut..??

But im not sure on the med equivalents, so i best leave that for others...

I do know its best to be as stable as possible before resuming tapering, but how best to get there would again depend on those equivalents... Also on what yourself and your Dr are prepared to accept...

Sorry, I cant help more..

I hope others can...

Hang in there...

 

[[po...]]

Hey Pooky, -I wonder if it was more everything catching up, than just that 0.25 cut..??

But im not sure on the med equivalents, so i best leave that for others...

I do know its best to be as stable as possible before resuming tapering, but how best to get there would again depend on those equivalents... Also on what yourself and your Dr are prepared to accept...

Sorry, I cant help more..

I hope others can...

Hang in there...

 

 

 

Im on valium

[[Ca...]]

Hey Pooky, -I wonder if it was more everything catching up, than just that 0.25 cut..??

But im not sure on the med equivalents, so i best leave that for others...

I do know its best to be as stable as possible before resuming tapering, but how best to get there would again depend on those equivalents... Also on what yourself and your Dr are prepared to accept...

Sorry, I cant help more..

I hope others can...

Hang in there...

 

 

 

Im on valium

I was thinking the C, X and L...

I know it was a while ago, but it all plays its part with cross overs, and how thos C/Os were done...

 

I know my Big V cuts pre Xmas had a lag time of several months for some SX...

 

Hope you feel better soon...

 

 

[[no...]]

Hey Pooky, -I wonder if it was more everything catching up, than just that 0.25 cut..??

But im not sure on the med equivalents, so i best leave that for others...

I do know its best to be as stable as possible before resuming tapering, but how best to get there would again depend on those equivalents... Also on what yourself and your Dr are prepared to accept...

Sorry, I cant help more..

I hope others can...

Hang in there...

 

 

 

Im on valium

Hi pooky  Valium/Diazepam has a sneaky lag time of at ''least'' 7 weeks before the full accumulation of  any cuts catch up, so its possible its a LOT of cuts all caught up not the recent cut. I'm on Diazepam/Valium and is terribly notorious for catching people out with the lag time. Your best bet is to hold as I explained before, and no one can say how long it will take for you to stabilise, there is no set time or approximation, just hold however long it takes to stabilise, and your looking at weeks to months probably so its all patience and acceptance the best you can.

 

I've been holding for a few months after an updose but my problem is  compounded by an upstairs  neighbour who either keeps me awake or wakes me up banging and slamming about and letting visiting kids run wild for days in a row until early hours of the morning I've hardly had any sleep over this last week with it all    I know its freaky if it seemed to be working for a short while then gets rough or rougher but that’s because your still unstable like I am, and you will still get waves while holding this is completely normal as well  Below is someone else's post explaining about how going up or down in dose effects our CNS

 

 

Love Nova xxx  :smitten:

 

 

 

 

your body is responding to (yet another) change in dosage. When I updosed from 11mg to 20 mg in late February this year, I was already experiencing withdrawal insomnia.

 

After the updose my symptoms got progressively worse. My insomnia worsened, my anxiety worsened and I had a whole new set of symptoms such as depression, ruminating thoughts ('I'm never going to get better'), dry mouth at night, night sweats, waking with anxiety and hot flushes. This went on for 2 weeks and got progressively worse. Thinking that my body could not cope with such a high dose, I dropped to 19mg for a week.

 

 

If I thought I had troubles before, well this was arguably the worst week of my life! The drop made things even worse. Finally on the 18th March I made a decision to stay put on 20mg and have been doing so ever since. Slowly my symptoms subsided. After 7.5 weeks on 20mg, I'm still not happy with my sleep but it is better. All other symptoms are gone.

 

So the point I'm making is: 1) Any change in dosage, whether you go up or down, may cause unwanted symptoms.

 

This is because any change in dosage when you have a destabilized CNS is going to add to that destabilization.

 

2) If you are attempting to stabilize on one specific dose for any given period of time and you choose to alter that dose (up or down), this has a tendency to 'reset the clock' in your nervous system so that any gains you may have made with regard to withdrawal symptoms improving or subsiding before you changed the dose are kind of 'wiped out' and you have to start all over again (at least this happened with me)

 

3) It can take a long (LONG) time to stabilize so you have to be patient. Some people stabilize in a week. For other is can take months

 

. If your symptoms aren't improving or are getting worse after an updose, it doesn't necessarily mean that you need drop your dosage; in some cases it certainly does, but in mine lowering the dose made things worse.[/QUOTE]

[[po...]]

Hello again

Well now my dr told me to updose even more.  Im on 5mg valium.  I updosed from 4.5 2 weeks ago but am not functioning or eating at all.  I have two young kids.  Now he wants me to updose to 7mg.  Is that going to help or mess me up more??  I just need to get stable.

I know there all different ideas on here.  I felt fine on 5mg after reinstating.  It wasn't until a big cut that things went terribly wrong.

Anybody?