Updosing Support Group

[[no...]]

POST'S BY OTHER PEOPLE THAT UP-DOSED

Hi, I have had to updose several times in my taper - i get massive anxiety too if my cut is either too much or not enough time between cuts and I have a catch up going on.  For me, the anxiety does not go completely until about 4 weeks.  Looking back there is usually a gradual reduction but it doesn't really feel like that at the time.  One day i will wake up and it will be gone, and i know it's gone - I just FEEL different, difficult to explain.

 

 

 

Hang on, it will get better!

 

 

 

    I have yet to see someones symptoms NOT improve over time.  Even the worst cases eventually sort themselves out.  Everything else is just trying to keep ourselves functional/comfortable while we let the time pass.

 

      Give your updose another month or so and you should be stabilizing by them.  Give the stability a month or so to really take affect then you can start your 5% taper.  You're on the right track.

 

With the exception of my 1-3/10 tinnitus all of my sxs have resolved at this point.  All of my sx's just got better and better after I updosed to my original 20mg level. After a full year my sleep finally has come back, anxiety is gone, appetite is great, BM's are normal, I can watch sports or anything I want on TV again and Anhedonia is gone

 

 

I cross-tapered from Clonazepam to Diazepam, to take advantage of its longer half-life, and then began a slow taper down from 10mg using 0.5mg cut-and-hold. Not slow enough it seemed, as the withdrawal effects ramped up and I held at 2mg, in increasingly bad shape. I stayed put for a while, and I geared up to try liquid titration to ease me down the last few mg. I was able to get a prescription for liquid diazepam, and for a few weeks I fiddled about with droppers and cylinders to accurately be able to reduce just a couple of hundredths of milligrams each day. For whatever reason, this didn’t work out for me and I chose to fully reinstate to 10mg. I suspect that an overly fast taper had created a whole backlog of withdrawals, and that holding and then titrating was too little too late.

 

Back at 10mg I was functional again as a person, but despairing of ever getting off this stuff. I had little choice but to reinstate – I could not function with the level of symptoms I was experiencing, and on various levels I was not coping. I have a fantastic wife who has put up with lots of crappy health on my part. I have 3 kids and a marvelous job as a teacher. I struggled along through this period, mostly turning up to work, and mostly taking some part in family life, but in a pretty limited sort of way.

 

The final journey off was to cut 0.5mg every 2-3 weeks, moving on only when I felt ready to. I knew by then that the steps can get harder as the relative percentage of each cut increases, so I was prepared to hold at each step until I was ready. Cut and hold suited me – the 0.5mg was enough to feel the cut after a couple of days, but not so hard as to be too big a deal on any one day. I worked my way down to 5mg over a number of months, and at that point decided to hold for an extended family holiday of several months.

 

I was not looking forward to the prospect of more difficult cuts for the last few mg, but I need not have worried – these turned out to be the easiest for me. No idea why, but I had little problem making my way down to zero using 0.5mg cuts all the way, roughly every 10 days – 2 weeks. After hitting zero I knew my body would still be healing for some time, and sure enough I could feel improvement and the lessening of symptoms for several months.

 

Healing continues. I don’t really know what ‘normal’ anxiety looks like for me, but I’m happy with where I’m at now.

 

 

I updosed 16 days ago.It took a couple of days to feel the change.  Some days are good, some are bad.  I am slowly stabilizing.  The symptoms are not as bad, and yet I can tell my body is still healing.  I am going to hold until January if possible.  So for me, so far, it is working.

 

 

W/d can make your brain lock onto bad thoughts and obsess on them.  I have read many peoples stories in the success stories forum who were on much higher doses and/or reinstated multiple times who are now healed.  Try to take it one day at a time.  My Dad always says "don't borrow trouble."  People tend to make things worse in their minds with anticipatory anxiety than they actually turn out to be.

 

 

 

 

 

[[Ca...]]

That sounds realy crap Nova... I could suggest a few solutions, but im sure the thought has crossed ur mind...

Could you handle your own background music?

Try to keep your cool, not sure I could though... It must be so gut wrenchingly infuriating...

Lets hope mr Hot Shot goes on a long trip... and peace is restored...

-and I thought the crows were bad...

 

[[no...]]

That sounds realy crap Nova... I could suggest a few solutions, but im sure the thought has crossed ur mind...

Could you handle your own background music?

Try to keep your cool, not sure I could though... It must be so gut wrenchingly infuriating...

Lets hope mr Hot Shot goes on a long trip... and peace is restored...

-and I thought the crows were bad...

Hi CF  I love music it was always my go to in a noisy world to switch off  and relax along with guided meditation's for sleep, anxiety etc but unfortunately due to  severe hyperacusis ( certain frequencies and sound cause's me pain  ) and tenacious tinnitus which trips the hyperacusis off even worse as it gets louder  I can't do it, I've tried all sorts even ear plugs are no help. And I've tried everyone on the market, foam, silicone, self moulding, latex even musicians speciality ones as wel as well you name it I tried it, and I get ear pain form ear plugs, noise cancelling headphones used to help but as symptoms got worse stopped helping.

 

I even tried  different industrial ear defenders but they causes me pain and brain squeezes as their tight, and same as the ear plugs I could still hear the bloody noise, plus the sound proofing here is practically non existent. Before Benzo's I had incredibly sharp hearing and vision like a wild animal, I loved it as I was aware of things in nature, which I love along with animals, that no one else could hear or see, now I hate it, mind that being said sometimes I can't hear nothing above the roar of the tinnitus but I can hear his bloody noise!! 

 

 

And my eye sights knackered as well, I could see forever, now I have vision problems and have to wear glasses to read and sometimes to watch TV which I put subtitles up to watch as the sound hurts me. BUT.....I did have a couple of days last week where I could go out to my kitchen without putting an armoury in and on my ears for the first time in over a year since I did the up-dose.

 

And I had a day when  I was able to put the trash out without ear plugs in for the first time in over a year as well , it may have been less than a minute but that's not the point and I never even realised it until a few minutes later, and it was quite a buzz when I did  That's what I mean about changes take time but are so subtle that we think we're getting nowhere with no change doomed to be stuck in misery and suffering forever and not heal. But things are happening slowly and quietly bit by bit, because it goes up an down  we get disheartened and soon forget that I've also stopped counting how many day's, weeks, etc as that makes it more negative, and seems more impossible that we're ever going to get anywhere, I was keeping too close a watch. 

 

 

And decided to stop as  it will happen when it happens and as time passes its getting closer anyway, counting day's will not make it happen its just futile and causes more unneeded  stress and anxiety. Before I joined BB, that's what I did anyway just let it turn around in its own time with no expectations or an approximate time line I thought I should at least be seeing improvements. And I stabilised lovely its just a shame I found the Ashton manual on here and went along at her pace instead of sticking with what was working for me  and mashed myself up

 

 

 

 

Love Nova xxx  :smitten:

 

 

 

[[Ca...]]

Yes, I was thinking you might be a bit sensitive for music and hearing protection, lets hope the updose is enough to ease the situation...

I have avoided hearing issues thus far, a tiny bit of tinnitus in December...

But the oxy killed my eye focus, and its no better for V wd... books are out, unless im in real good light... but day fatigue fixes that anyway...

 

Its funny how things seem to improve when u dont think about them too much.. -I remember after the induced coma and i hit the main ward (at about 4 mths) there was a guy that had been there 6 mths and i thought OMG, thats insane... lol, im sure i expected to go home in a couple of weeks... well, I learnt patience over the next couple of years... lol

But I remember years later when i started "loosing" my crutches... -I would leave them in the kitchen or whereva and just walk off...

I cringe when i see people post " Im on ?V and will be finnished by " -some do, but many just dont...

I guess years of tapering oxy kinda prepared me, though still very different...

 

Keep on hanging in there mate... day by day...

 

 

[[Ge...]]

All those buddies who said don't cut from 2 mg V to 1.5 were right.  The people on this board know their stuff..  Back to 2 mg for me after almost 4 weeks of trying to feel better... 

[[be...]]

All those buddies who said don't cut from 2 mg V to 1.5 were right.  The people on this board know their stuff..  Back to 2 mg for me after almost 4 weeks of trying to feel better...

Lesson learned, you will be fine, slow and being in charge of your taper is the Key, we are all here for you, this is a walk that takes many it takes a Village. It is not easy this Journey, but with time and confidence it is doable. Hang in there, your Light is flickering for you at the end  of the Tunnel and you will walk off when it is your Time.

[[Ge...]]

BG, You have the most wonderful gift of encouragement.  You are truly a blessing to have hanging around here  <3

[[be...]]

BG, You have the most wonderful gift of encouragement.  You are truly a blessing to have hanging around here  <3

Thank you George.

[[Ca...]]

All those buddies who said don't cut from 2 mg V to 1.5 were right.  The people on this board know their stuff..  Back to 2 mg for me after almost 4 weeks of trying to feel better...

No, It didnt do me a world of good...  If it helps... -It didnt take too long to fix... -I just had other stuff catch up, so im holding for that

Feel better soon....

 

Hi BG,

[[be...]]

All those buddies who said don't cut from 2 mg V to 1.5 were right.  The people on this board know their stuff..  Back to 2 mg for me after almost 4 weeks of trying to feel better...

No, It didnt do me a world of good...  If it helps... -It didnt take too long to fix... -I just had other stuff catch up, so im holding for that

Feel better soon....

 

Hi BG,

Hiya Cant...

[[Ge...]]

All those buddies who said don't cut from 2 mg V to 1.5 were right.  The people on this board know their stuff..  Back to 2 mg for me after almost 4 weeks of trying to feel better...

No, It didnt do me a world of good...  If it helps... -It didnt take too long to fix... -I just had other stuff catch up, so im holding for that

Feel better soon....

 

 

The updose did or didn't help  you CantFly?

[[Ca...]]

All those buddies who said don't cut from 2 mg V to 1.5 were right.  The people on this board know their stuff..  Back to 2 mg for me after almost 4 weeks of trying to feel better...

No, It didnt do me a world of good...  If it helps... -It didnt take too long to fix... -I just had other stuff catch up, so im holding for that

Feel better soon....

 

 

The updose did or didn't help  you CantFly?

YES, it DID help... -It wasnt optional...  I just didnt bounce back as quick, due to my big cuts towards the end of last year, and other NON benzo stuff...

 

[[Ge...]]

All those buddies who said don't cut from 2 mg V to 1.5 were right.  The people on this board know their stuff..  Back to 2 mg for me after almost 4 weeks of trying to feel better...

No, It didnt do me a world of good...  If it helps... -It didnt take too long to fix... -I just had other stuff catch up, so im holding for that

Feel better soon....

 

 

The updose did or didn't help  you CantFly?

YES, it DID help... -It wasnt optional...  I just didnt bounce back as quick, due to my big cuts towards the end of last year, and other NON benzo stuff...

 

Glad to hear it.  Thanks!   Have a happy day!

[[Th...]]

All those buddies who said don't cut from 2 mg V to 1.5 were right.  The people on this board know their stuff..  Back to 2 mg for me after almost 4 weeks of trying to feel better...

No, It didnt do me a world of good...  If it helps... -It didnt take too long to fix... -I just had other stuff catch up, so im holding for that

Feel better soon....

 

 

 

The updose did or didn't help  you CantFly?

YES, it DID help... -It wasnt optional...  I just didnt bounce back as quick, due to my big cuts towards the end of last year, and other NON benzo stuff...

 

I'm so happy you are feeling better and are a good example that updosing is not evil 🙂, and sometimes just part of the journey. Proud of you!

[[be...]]

All those buddies who said don't cut from 2 mg V to 1.5 were right.  The people on this board know their stuff..  Back to 2 mg for me after almost 4 weeks of trying to feel better...

No, It didnt do me a world of good...  If it helps... -It didnt take too long to fix... -I just had other stuff catch up, so im holding for that

Feel better soon....

 

 

 

The updose did or didn't help  you CantFly?

YES, it DID help... -It wasnt optional...  I just didnt bounce back as quick, due to my big cuts towards the end of last year, and other NON benzo stuff...

 

I'm so happy you are feeling better and are a good example that updosing is not evil 🙂, and sometimes just part of the journey. Proud of you!

Agree completely "Updosing is not Evil", I did it and better for it and Cant and many others are better for it, but of course we will always have those who will not agree, so be it. Each to his "Own be True".

[[jr...]]

Up dosing is mandatory if and when the glutamate becomes toxic. I agree with SG57 that we should avoid this and up dose when ever necessary. To me , the taper was the easy part. But you never really learn to taper correctly until you have jumped.

[[Ca...]]

Up dosing is mandatory if and when the glutamate becomes toxic. I agree with SG57 that we should avoid this and up dose when ever necessary. To me , the taper was the easy part. But you never really learn to taper correctly until you have jumped.

Yes, I Think, as some wise people here have taught, Its about ballance... -Medication levels vs healing process..  slow tapering by sx is the method... -holding and updosing are tools...

Ofcourse there are exeptions... But what I see people forget is TIME... changes take Time...

-And I am preaching to the converted...

Luv ya all...

 

[[Bl...]]

Hello all. New to this group. Currently on my 3rd and most difficult taper.  Was prescribed 20mg valium in February 2016. Was pretty successful at cutting down to 12 mg and started to feel bad sxs. In retrospect i should have held, but instead I panicked and updosed back to 13mg. Seemed to work well for 2 weeks then started getting bad sxs again. Went up to 15, which did nothing and decided to throw in the towel and go all the way back up to 20mg.  Was doing well for several weeks, but now the past 3 days have been severe sxs.  Learning a lot from this group. Wish i would have found it earlier. Scheduled to go on vacation on 3/26.  Hoping i get some relief soon.

 

Much love

BJ

[[Th...]]

Hello all. New to this group. Currently on my 3rd and most difficult taper.  Was prescribed 20mg valium in February 2016. Was pretty successful at cutting down to 12 mg and started to feel bad sxs. In retrospect i should have held, but instead I panicked and updosed back to 13mg. Seemed to work well for 2 weeks then started getting bad sxs again. Went up to 15, which did nothing and decided to throw in the towel and go all the way back up to 20mg.  Was doing well for several weeks, but now the past 3 days have been severe sxs.  Learning a lot from this group. Wish i would have found it earlier. Scheduled to go on vacation on 3/26.  Hoping i get some relief soon.

 

Much love

BJ

 

I think you should maybe relax and think the updose will work in days. I hear it can take time to build up. I know easier said than done but  think your vacation might be better up dosing for a bit. I've never had trouble with it, some have. Give it some time to build up and I betby vacation time things will be better. I hope you can get some relaxation and fun 😘

[[Bl...]]

Hello all. New to this group. Currently on my 3rd and most difficult taper.  Was prescribed 20mg valium in February 2016. Was pretty successful at cutting down to 12 mg and started to feel bad sxs. In retrospect i should have held, but instead I panicked and updosed back to 13mg. Seemed to work well for 2 weeks then started getting bad sxs again. Went up to 15, which did nothing and decided to throw in the towel and go all the way back up to 20mg.  Was doing well for several weeks, but now the past 3 days have been severe sxs.  Learning a lot from this group. Wish i would have found it earlier. Scheduled to go on vacation on 3/26.  Hoping i get some relief soon.

 

Much love

BJ

 

I think you should maybe relax and think the updose will work in days. I hear it can take time to build up. I know easier said than done but  think your vacation might be better up dosing for a bit. I've never had trouble with it, some have. Give it some time to build up and I betby vacation time things will be better. I hope you can get some relaxation and fun 😘

 

I hope so too.  Thanks so much for the reply.

[[be...]]

Hello all. New to this group. Currently on my 3rd and most difficult taper.  Was prescribed 20mg valium in February 2016. Was pretty successful at cutting down to 12 mg and started to feel bad sxs. In retrospect i should have held, but instead I panicked and updosed back to 13mg. Seemed to work well for 2 weeks then started getting bad sxs again. Went up to 15, which did nothing and decided to throw in the towel and go all the way back up to 20mg.  Was doing well for several weeks, but now the past 3 days have been severe sxs.  Learning a lot from this group. Wish i would have found it earlier. Scheduled to go on vacation on 3/26.  Hoping i get some relief soon.

 

Much love

BJ

 

I think you should maybe relax and think the updose will work in days. I hear it can take time to build up. I know easier said than done but  think your vacation might be better up dosing for a bit. I've never had trouble with it, some have. Give it some time to build up and I betby vacation time things will be better. I hope you can get some relaxation and fun 😘

 

I hope so too.  Thanks so much for the reply.

Welcome to the group, I agree with thirdtimearound, it takes time to build up and in the meantime your Brain is playing catch up, Time and Patience. Also if you need more support, "The Long Hold Support Group" have some awesome members that have updosed or just held like I have done. Best to you.

[[Ca...]]

Hey BJ... as BG  and  Third have said... And as BG was sorta getting at -holding and updosing kinda go hand in hand..

 

I remember when you were updosing, and work was the priority, if i remember right... and thats why the healthy updose... I would think that you would be rather close to feeling better. Maybe a little up and down for a while, but smoothing out...

You mentiond exercize somewhere too, i think... there was good advice on that too... over doing it can destroy me when im not stable... -healthy and stable, plus time... and probably the long hold guys for the next step... You have already met some...

Keep us posted,

And best wishes...

 

[[Bl...]]

Hey BJ... as BG  and  Third have said... And as BG was sorta getting at -holding and updosing kinda go hand in hand..

 

I remember when you were updosing, and work was the priority, if i remember right... and thats why the healthy updose... I would think that you would be rather close to feeling better. Maybe a little up and down for a while, but smoothing out...

You mentiond exercize somewhere too, i think... there was good advice on that too... over doing it can destroy me when im not stable... -healthy and stable, plus time... and probably the long hold guys for the next step... You have already met some...

Keep us posted,

And best wishes...

Thanks a lot. These sxs acted up again when i started working out again.  Also i just found out that almost every suppliment i have been using for the gym the past few days is bad for my condition.  You have a good memory. The reason that i initially updosed was so i could be functional at work.  Now im concerned about vacation coming up on Sunday  .  Had some bad crying spells this morning. I really hope i start feeling better soon.  Thanks so much for the kind response.

 

BJ

[[Th...]]

Hey BJ... as BG  and  Third have said... And as BG was sorta getting at -holding and updosing kinda go hand in hand..

 

I remember when you were updosing, and work was the priority, if i remember right... and thats why the healthy updose... I would think that you would be rather close to feeling better. Maybe a little up and down for a while, but smoothing out...

You mentiond exercize somewhere too, i think... there was good advice on that too... over doing it can destroy me when im not stable... -healthy and stable, plus time... and probably the long hold guys for the next step... You have already met some...

Keep us posted,

And best wishes...

Thanks a lot. These sxs acted up again when i started working out again.  Also i just found out that almost every suppliment i have been using for the gym the past few days is bad for my condition.  You have a good memory. The reason that i initially updosed was so i could be functional at work.  Now im concerned about vacation coming up on Sunday  .  Had some bad crying spells this morning. I really hope i start feeling better soon.  Thanks so much for the kind response.

 

BJ

 

I've heard from many that supplements can cause more sxe. I know for me a strong multivitamin can mess up my sleep. I just try to force healthy foods down my face when I can eat and hope it's good enough.

[[de...]]

I dont post often..and most days cant read here cause it ramps me up reading about all the pain and suffering but I go to my doc on Monday and need some input..some may know my story but if not i have been stuck at 2.75mg of klonopin for a yr this month..down from a micro taper of 4mgs 34yrs use..I am 58 now. After losing my son and mom within 9 days of each other 2 yrs this july..i only held a month before against my docs advice started my taper again..that jan. i started to get to where food felt like it was getting stuck then more and more things started to happen..then i lost down to 97lbs, my anxiety is off the charts still..i have to use a wheelchair when in big stores i have no strength..to many things going on to write here..but i am thinking about reinstating back to 4mgs to try and be able to grieve the loss of my son and mom, stabalize at some point and get back the wonderful life i had on 4mgs..i need some input on this as my doc will let me do me..before i started this taper i ran around 60 hrs a week..now i cant carry in a bag of groceries..have just started to drive again but cant go anywhere alone , and i am never left alone. I read on one of the groups yesterday i believe that they went back up to get some relief and it worked and they are not going to go down again..and i totally get that..i had a life on k..now i have no life..i can only swallow limited things..am tired of not being able to eat healthy cause i cant swallow fruits or anything that has a peel like a grape..so would love some input from all of you it would be much appreciated..and if any of you got relief from going back up please let me know..i cant do this anymore i need to get the life back for my family and myself that i had..i now have been diagnosed with SVT last june..and i get episodes from stress.

Please help me here..thanks <3