Permanent Benzo Damage? This Is Not Fun

[[mi...]]

The Holistic Doctor Is Helping Get Off This Medicine With Supplements I Have No Clue If It Working I Still Feel Weak

 

I Am Currently On .5mg And Acting/Feeling Psychostic The Hospital Poisioned Me Now This Guy Is Doing a Sauna,Supplements,Hyponsis The Works. I JUST PRAY I DON'T DIE. IN A EARLY AGE I GET THOSE HEADACHES IN THE HEAD MRI WAS NEGATIVE BLURRY VISION HALOS, BLACK DOTS EYE FLICKERING BY THEMSELVES... I AM SCARED SO SCARED

[[Me...]]

Mikey,

I've had all kinds of weird vision problems.  You are ok buddie.  It's just wd ok? 

[[ic...]]

On July 14th you said you were on .25

 

So how much are you taking?  Is it .25 or .50? And how often are you taking it?

[[mi...]]

Mikey,

I've had all kinds of weird vision problems.   You are ok buddie.   It's just wd ok?   

 

 

listen i am scared so badly because in the past i had different problems i had IBS, STOMACH ISSUES SO THEY WOULD BE WOULD GIVE ME BENTYL, XANAX, PROLISEC AND THEY SAID "YOU CAN MIX THEM" I HAVE A HISTORY WITH GI PROBLEMS. I JUST WORRY THAT I LIKE BARRY HASLAM BECAUSE I DID ABUSE XANAX AND I CANT STOP THINKING WHAT I HAVE DONE A LONG TIME AGO... DRINKING WITH HIGH DOSES.

I TOOK PAINKILLERS FOR DENTIST PAIN.. NOW I DO NOT FEEL ANY MEDICINE... GOD FORBIDS I GET MY WISDOM TOOTH PULLED AND I AM IN PAIN THAN WHAT I WILL IN SO MUCH PAIN.. I WORRIED THAT I FRYED MY BRAIN AND THE HOSPITAL HELPED IT.. LONG TERM BENZO USE LIKE I DID I SHOULD HAVE BEEN IN THE GRAVE

[[Gm...]]

Its Getting Worse Went To Play Topgolf 3 Story Golf Target Game Evertime I Walk I Feel Like Falling Down I Feel Something Is Inside My HEAD.

Staggering, Falling Down And Still Doctors Say Your Find This is load bullshit and Crap...

 

Did the doctors tell you what you suffer from? Anxiety, OCD, Depression, stress? These things are not BS. They can eat away at our life. I'm sure they had to give you some answer.

 

i told them they kept on feeding me medicine long time ago those assholes  i am still scared my life will come short because i still have brain tumor symptoms and worry that i will get a infection or seizure and die this has got to end somehow i want to live i go places and still think bullshit how to enjoy the life and still think crap for 5 months its hell and everyone here is helping me but i dont know what to do anymore

 

Why were you prescribed Benzos mikey? Anxiety, OCD, Etc? It is possible to get suggestions here on BB for many types of conditions. The doctors have to have a reason for prescribing you benzos in the first place.

 

Do you remember why they did?

 

2004 The Doc Told Me Sorry Mike But You Have GAD We Have To Give You 4mg Of Xanax At Once.... I Said Okay But I Think About Since Now

 

Its All Been Down Hill Right Now I Feel The Tumor Symptom In My Head... Pressuring Down

 

This Not Normal I Feel The Lumps The Pain The Symptoms Of Cancer And The MRI Shows Nothing.  I have Severe Hallucations Bad One

SEVERE JERKS

 

If you understand you have GAD, wouldn't it be a top priority to tackle this? MRI's say no tumor/cancer and you swear there is cancer. Are you 1000% positive this is not your GAD telling you you have cancer? And someone mentioned your dosage has gone up?

 

If you want to be benzo free your going to have to take the GAD by the horns. There is no doubt in my mind your having a rough time, but your going to have to be stronger then the WD and your underlying condition of GAD. Maybe look into the mirror and give yourself a pep talk.  I don't really know what to tell you that will help, but you sure seem to be worrying about something that has been confirmed to be negative.

 

GAD:

 

Generalized anxiety disorder has the following symptoms:

 

    * Difficulty concentrating

    * Difficulty controlling worry

    * Excess anxiety and worry that is out of proportion to the situation most of the time

    * Excessive sweating, palpitations, shortness of breath, and stomach/intestinal symptoms

    * Fatigue

    * Irritability

    * Muscle tension -- shakiness, headaches

    * Restlessness or feeling keyed up or "on the edge"

    * Sleep disturbance (difficulty falling or staying asleep; or restless, unsatisfying sleep)

[[su...]]

I agree with Gman.

 

good luck

[[ic...]]

Mike,

 

I've tried many times to help you, most recently by asking questions about your taper. But you never respond to me.

 

We know you have had a hard time with the doctors, we know all your tests are negative. What we don't know is your taper plan. People are here to help, I'm here to help, but we can't help you unless you give us real information to work with. And frankly, you can't be so incapacitated if you are going to Target to play video games. So if you really want to help yourself, answer the questions people are asking.

 

Good luck to you, whatever you decide.

 

icandothis

 

 

[[cu...]]

Mikey,

 

Did you raise your dose for some reason? You told me last time you were on .25 mgs K. You need to share with us your taper plans...I hope you aren't dosing up and down because this can confuse your brain sweety. Would you like to ask someone for help with a good taper plan? You will need to be honest with your past dosing history to give them a good idea of where to start you at and how to taper you down and you have to HAVE TO stick with it for real.

 

We want to help you feel better but if you are bouncing your dose around up and down, you are only causing yourself needless pain. Let us know if you are interested in a good taper plan.

 

Love,

~cupcake~

[[mi...]]

Mike,

 

I've tried many times to help you, most recently by asking questions about your taper. But you never respond to me.

 

We know you have had a hard time with the doctors, we know all your tests are negative. What we don't know is your taper plan. People are here to help, I'm here to help, but we can't help you unless you give us real information to work with. And frankly, you can't be so incapacitated if you are going to Target to play video games. So if you really want to help yourself, answer the questions people are asking.

 

Good luck to you, whatever you decide.

 

icandothis

 

 

 

 

 

i am so sorry my brain is so fkn cloudy it takes me forever... these symptoms are crazy pure and simple i will try to read it slow

[[mi...]]

Its Getting Worse Went To Play Topgolf 3 Story Golf Target Game Evertime I Walk I Feel Like Falling Down I Feel Something Is Inside My HEAD.

Staggering, Falling Down And Still Doctors Say Your Find This is load bullshit and Crap...

 

Did the doctors tell you what you suffer from? Anxiety, OCD, Depression, stress? These things are not BS. They can eat away at our life. I'm sure they had to give you some answer.

 

i told them they kept on feeding me medicine long time ago those assholes  i am still scared my life will come short because i still have brain tumor symptoms and worry that i will get a infection or seizure and die this has got to end somehow i want to live i go places and still think bullshit how to enjoy the life and still think crap for 5 months its hell and everyone here is helping me but i dont know what to do anymore

 

Why were you prescribed Benzos mikey? Anxiety, OCD, Etc? It is possible to get suggestions here on BB for many types of conditions. The doctors have to have a reason for prescribing you benzos in the first place.

 

Do you remember why they did?

 

2004 The Doc Told Me Sorry Mike But You Have GAD We Have To Give You 4mg Of Xanax At Once.... I Said Okay But I Think About Since Now

 

Its All Been Down Hill Right Now I Feel The Tumor Symptom In My Head... Pressuring Down

 

This Not Normal I Feel The Lumps The Pain The Symptoms Of Cancer And The MRI Shows Nothing.  I have Severe Hallucations Bad One

SEVERE JERKS

 

If you understand you have GAD, wouldn't it be a top priority to tackle this? MRI's say no tumor/cancer and you swear there is cancer. Are you 1000% positive this is not your GAD telling you you have cancer? And someone mentioned your dosage has gone up?

 

If you want to be benzo free your going to have to take the GAD by the horns. There is no doubt in my mind your having a rough time, but your going to have to be stronger then the WD and your underlying condition of GAD. Maybe look into the mirror and give yourself a pep talk.  I don't really know what to tell you that will help, but you sure seem to be worrying about something that has been confirmed to be negative.

 

GAD:

 

Generalized anxiety disorder has the following symptoms:

 

    * Difficulty concentrating

    * Difficulty controlling worry

    * Excess anxiety and worry that is out of proportion to the situation most of the time

    * Excessive sweating, palpitations, shortness of breath, and stomach/intestinal symptoms

    * Fatigue

    * Irritability

    * Muscle tension -- shakiness, headaches

    * Restlessness or feeling keyed up or "on the edge"

    * Sleep disturbance (difficulty falling or staying asleep; or restless, unsatisfying sleep)

 

 

The Reason I am Scared I Got Cancer My Rotator Cup Is in pain and my left hand is num. 2nd the headaches come and go and again i feel the lumps in the head and i am so scared that i have cancer and i am going to die soon. i got the mri negative but i having twiches jerks fits but i went a hyponsist and she help me alot my obsessive thinking  is way down today i love it not thinking about bs all the time

 

 

 

thas why i am still scared i got cancer

[[zi...]]

Mikey

 

I remember before I even began to taper I knew of this website and knew what I could possibly run into when I got off the 7mgs of Xanax and Klonopin, and yet for some reason I was so scared because I was so afraid I just couldn't do it.  I mean there is a lot involved here and it is a bit of a commitment, though getting a glass of water seemed like a LIFE or DEATH situation too.  It was because of this fear that I didn't join right away, and then once I felt so crappy that I gathered up all the strength I could to power up my computer and join and try to get help from strangers. I didn't do it until after I was detoxed, though I wish I had done it sooner because everyone here is so kind, understanding, and caring.  I was in a tough place where I had to be somewhere from 7AM - 10PM everyday in a 3 month rehab far far away from home because I had to get off this crap and I couldn't do it by myself.  And what I realized is that I still need help, and I can't do it by myself which is why I am still on this forum.  

 

It sounds like your in the same situation man, and I know its hard and really difficult sometimes to even read and try and comprehend what you just read.  It took me 10 minutes to read an entire page because the words would jump around on the page while I argued with my brain about what was real or fake.  It's ridiculous, and a ruthless withdrawal that feels so much like death but couldn't be farther from the truth.

 

Mikey-  Your not going to die.  Your body is in shock because your mind isn't protecting it from FEAR so it is going spastic which reeks havoc on your mental state.  

 

If you want to keep your mental state from being bounced around too much you have to help your body heal slowly by reducing your dose ever so slowly.   This is where your Benzo Buddies can help you with guidance from genuinely loving and caring people that have gone before you and have made it to the other side.  

 

--Let us help you Mikey, we know its hard to think and read sometimes but if you reach a hand out for help make sure you accept the help by giving it everything you have.  Let us know what DOSE and MEDICATION you are on so we can help you out-- So you don't have to do this all alone.

 

 

 

Ziggy

[[Gm...]]

Its Getting Worse Went To Play Topgolf 3 Story Golf Target Game Evertime I Walk I Feel Like Falling Down I Feel Something Is Inside My HEAD.

Staggering, Falling Down And Still Doctors Say Your Find This is load bullshit and Crap...

 

Did the doctors tell you what you suffer from? Anxiety, OCD, Depression, stress? These things are not BS. They can eat away at our life. I'm sure they had to give you some answer.

 

i told them they kept on feeding me medicine long time ago those assholes  i am still scared my life will come short because i still have brain tumor symptoms and worry that i will get a infection or seizure and die this has got to end somehow i want to live i go places and still think bullshit how to enjoy the life and still think crap for 5 months its hell and everyone here is helping me but i dont know what to do anymore

 

Why were you prescribed Benzos mikey? Anxiety, OCD, Etc? It is possible to get suggestions here on BB for many types of conditions. The doctors have to have a reason for prescribing you benzos in the first place.

 

Do you remember why they did?

 

2004 The Doc Told Me Sorry Mike But You Have GAD We Have To Give You 4mg Of Xanax At Once.... I Said Okay But I Think About Since Now

 

Its All Been Down Hill Right Now I Feel The Tumor Symptom In My Head... Pressuring Down

 

This Not Normal I Feel The Lumps The Pain The Symptoms Of Cancer And The MRI Shows Nothing.  I have Severe Hallucations Bad One

SEVERE JERKS

 

If you understand you have GAD, wouldn't it be a top priority to tackle this? MRI's say no tumor/cancer and you swear there is cancer. Are you 1000% positive this is not your GAD telling you you have cancer? And someone mentioned your dosage has gone up?

 

If you want to be benzo free your going to have to take the GAD by the horns. There is no doubt in my mind your having a rough time, but your going to have to be stronger then the WD and your underlying condition of GAD. Maybe look into the mirror and give yourself a pep talk.  I don't really know what to tell you that will help, but you sure seem to be worrying about something that has been confirmed to be negative.

 

GAD:

 

Generalized anxiety disorder has the following symptoms:

 

    * Difficulty concentrating

    * Difficulty controlling worry

    * Excess anxiety and worry that is out of proportion to the situation most of the time

    * Excessive sweating, palpitations, shortness of breath, and stomach/intestinal symptoms

    * Fatigue

    * Irritability

    * Muscle tension -- shakiness, headaches

    * Restlessness or feeling keyed up or "on the edge"

    * Sleep disturbance (difficulty falling or staying asleep; or restless, unsatisfying sleep)

 

 

The Reason I am Scared I Got Cancer My Rotator Cup Is in pain and my left hand is num. 2nd the headaches come and go and again i feel the lumps in the head and i am so scared that i have cancer and i am going to die soon. i got the mri negative but i having twiches jerks fits but i went a hyponsist and she help me alot my obsessive thinking  is way down today i love it not thinking about bs all the time

 

 

 

thas why i am still scared i got cancer

 

So MRI says no cancer, and you say you have cancer.....

Your rotater cup is in pain, my left leg was in pain in 2 months......

You have twitches, I had muscle twitches/jerks for 3 months.....

You have headaches, Some days my eyeballs felt like they were being sucked into my head....

You see spots, I see spots everyday. When I look at the sky I see spots. When I look at the screen of my computer I see Spots.

 

You better wake up to WD symptoms and stay strong through this process. You don't seem to be a special case compared to the other folks here.

 

One question mikey, have you tried/considered a different taper method?

 

Maybe your a canditate for a valium crossover? I think you should talk to your doctor about another method by bringing the ashton manual. You have gone up in your dose, so I don't think whatever your doing is working.

 

 

 

 

 

[[...]]

 

Gman,

 

I remember you describing some of your symptoms and they were pretty intense...I am glad to hear things are better now....it sounds like the physical stuff has let up....

 

Mikey...Gman is a perfect example of someone who dealt with some pretty bad physical symptoms..yet here he is telling you its wd....and he is right....I have had some odd symptoms happen during my taper and even in the weeks after.....I never had these symptoms before....so, I am quite sure it is withdrawal..

 

This is a very tough road to travel...I would never wish it on anyone..and at times....it is hard to imagine that withdrawal could possibly take this long..but it does...I am not fully healed either...I still have things go on from time to time.....it is not fun at all...but I know....I have to keep going forward....and keep having hope...some days are rougher than others.....and the process takes way too long...but in the end...I believe....we will all heal 100 percent....

 

TC

[[Gm...]]

TC,

 

I had approximately 5 different areas in my face head that the muscles would flutter non stop. Once one area stopped twitching, another area took over. About 2 weeks ago, all muscle twitches stopped. The last one was a muscle on the left side of my head, above the ear. This would make my sunglasses go up and down on my face.

 

For the headaches, I used half a bottle of Tylenol ( I wonder what my liver looks like now).  I got sharp pains top of head, almost like somebody hit me with a wooden spoon. That was gone end of taper. Headaches around eyes would linger for hours. The headaches and insomnia were a chore to deal with together. All gone end of taper.

 

The joint where the leg meets the hip was in pain 24/7. I limped on that for a long time. ( Tylenol for this too) All gone end of taper 

 

Eyefloaters.... I made a thread here on BB about floaters, not knowing it was WD. It was a relief to know this too will fade away

 

 

Mikey

All I want here is for you to stop second guessing your MRI. This will take a BIG weight off your shoulders

[[mi...]]

Its Getting Worse Went To Play Topgolf 3 Story Golf Target Game Evertime I Walk I Feel Like Falling Down I Feel Something Is Inside My HEAD.

Staggering, Falling Down And Still Doctors Say Your Find This is load bullshit and Crap...

 

Did the doctors tell you what you suffer from? Anxiety, OCD, Depression, stress? These things are not BS. They can eat away at our life. I'm sure they had to give you some answer.

 

i told them they kept on feeding me medicine long time ago those assholes  i am still scared my life will come short because i still have brain tumor symptoms and worry that i will get a infection or seizure and die this has got to end somehow i want to live i go places and still think bullshit how to enjoy the life and still think crap for 5 months its hell and everyone here is helping me but i dont know what to do anymore

 

Why were you prescribed Benzos mikey? Anxiety, OCD, Etc? It is possible to get suggestions here on BB for many types of conditions. The doctors have to have a reason for prescribing you benzos in the first place.

 

Do you remember why they did?

 

2004 The Doc Told Me Sorry Mike But You Have GAD We Have To Give You 4mg Of Xanax At Once.... I Said Okay But I Think About Since Now

 

Its All Been Down Hill Right Now I Feel The Tumor Symptom In My Head... Pressuring Down

 

This Not Normal I Feel The Lumps The Pain The Symptoms Of Cancer And The MRI Shows Nothing.  I have Severe Hallucations Bad One

SEVERE JERKS

 

If you understand you have GAD, wouldn't it be a top priority to tackle this? MRI's say no tumor/cancer and you swear there is cancer. Are you 1000% positive this is not your GAD telling you you have cancer? And someone mentioned your dosage has gone up?

 

If you want to be benzo free your going to have to take the GAD by the horns. There is no doubt in my mind your having a rough time, but your going to have to be stronger then the WD and your underlying condition of GAD. Maybe look into the mirror and give yourself a pep talk.  I don't really know what to tell you that will help, but you sure seem to be worrying about something that has been confirmed to be negative.

 

GAD:

 

Generalized anxiety disorder has the following symptoms:

 

    * Difficulty concentrating

    * Difficulty controlling worry

    * Excess anxiety and worry that is out of proportion to the situation most of the time

    * Excessive sweating, palpitations, shortness of breath, and stomach/intestinal symptoms

    * Fatigue

    * Irritability

    * Muscle tension -- shakiness, headaches

    * Restlessness or feeling keyed up or "on the edge"

    * Sleep disturbance (difficulty falling or staying asleep; or restless, unsatisfying sleep)

 

 

The Reason I am Scared I Got Cancer My Rotator Cup Is in pain and my left hand is num. 2nd the headaches come and go and again i feel the lumps in the head and i am so scared that i have cancer and i am going to die soon. i got the mri negative but i having twiches jerks fits but i went a hyponsist and she help me alot my obsessive thinking  is way down today i love it not thinking about bs all the time

 

 

 

thas why i am still scared i got cancer

 

So MRI says no cancer, and you say you have cancer.....

Your rotater cup is in pain, my left leg was in pain in 2 months......

You have twitches, I had muscle twitches/jerks for 3 months.....

You have headaches, Some days my eyeballs felt like they were being sucked into my head....

You see spots, I see spots everyday. When I look at the sky I see spots. When I look at the screen of my computer I see Spots.

 

You better wake up to WD symptoms and stay strong through this process. You don't seem to be a special case compared to the other folks here.

 

One question mikey, have you tried/considered a different taper method?

 

Maybe your a canditate for a valium crossover? I think you should talk to your doctor about another method by bringing the ashton manual. You have gone up in your dose, so I don't think whatever your doing is working.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

mY worry this not the withdrawal its The Damage and tell you the truth i am so scared because when i have those headaches i take advil the medicine does not work... i have sores in my tongue and they can't find nothing i have a white tongue that smells like its rotten and doctors still say it all in your head i am losing weight left and right and i am eating at least 4 to 5 times a day. i am so confused when i wake up i will ask for valium every time close my eyes i see vivid bizarre pictures

[[Be...]]

I wonder if a nutritionist might be a help, Mike.  I've had the white tongue myself and it really affects the taste of food.  Could be an overgrowth of bacteria or something easily fixed with something like yogurt or more or less of something.  I really don't know but don't want you to give up looking for someone to figure out what is wrong with your digestive system in particular.  If you are eating a lot and still losing weight, there must be an explanation.  Take care of  yourself. 

[[Gm...]]

Mikey if I can go back and find my topics/posts on mouth pain, dryness, how my dentist told me my mouth didn't bleed like the last cleaning ( cleaning during my taper)....

 

Eating? your Eating? I was lucky to get one meal in after my single dose. I lost 15 lbs on my taper. Now i'm 6 months off and the 15lbs is back on 

 

I'm telling you mikey, its all part of the WD list. I know it sounds absurd but your not a special case here. Your going down the path we all have.

I can say this, If you feel like your going to die, your in WD. Thats how I felt

 

 

 

 

[[zi...]]

Mikey, the white tongue is normal.  I have it and I just realized that its Candida, which is a yeast infection in our bodies.  There is a cleanse you can get and then follow a real specific diet until it goes away.

 

The vivid images, weight loss, and confusion is all really normal.  Its the most bizarre experience I have ever gone through.

 

Ziggy

[[cu...]]

Mikey,

 

Any time you fear that it is not withdrawal, ask yourself this question "did I feel this way before the benzo's?" If the answer is no, then you can be 99% sure that it is withdrawal.

 

Love,

Cupcake

[[ty...]]

mY worry this not the withdrawal its The Damage and tell you the truth i am so scared because when i have those headaches i take advil the medicine does not work... i have sores in my tongue and they can't find nothing i have a white tongue that smells like its rotten and doctors still say it all in your head i am losing weight left and right and i am eating at least 4 to 5 times a day. i am so confused when i wake up i will ask for valium every time close my eyes i see vivid bizarre pictures

 

 

Hi Mikey, I lost a ton of weight too, 25 lbs and I wasn't big to start with. Did you know that stress can cause weight loss? You are stressing big time! I wouldn't worry about the white tongue thing that happens to people all the time, it's no big deal.

 

Everything else is withdrawals and stress over the withdrawals. You need to try to relax, I know you feel like crap but stressing over every thing is not gonna make you feel better.

 

Do you have a job? If not maybe you should get one, at least part time then you would have something to do to take your mind off all this. I HAVE TO work or I will lose my house so there's no choice for me. I am glad to go to work sometimes though because it is a distraction from everything that is happening to me and my body.

 

I hope you start to listen and take some of the advice the good people on here are giving you, I think you are making everything worse by worrying and stressing about it. I really hope to come on here one day and see you post something positive.

 

Take care and try to relax a little.

[[ty...]]

Oops, sory. Didn't mean to post twice.

[[cu...]]

I'll delete the extra post for you 

[[Be...]]

Mikey,

 

You have to start listening to the messages you are receiving and stop adding to your worries.  Withdrawal is hard enough as it is without making it ten times worse on yourself by constantly stressing about things you have been told you do NOT have.

 

Please try to help yourself and accept the help so many buddies have offered to you.  You have to tell yourself that this is just withdrawal.  Do you read any of the posts on other members blogs?  If you did you would see that you are most certainly not alone in what you are going through.  

[[Sq...]]

 

I can say this, If you feel like your going to die, your in WD. Thats how I felt

 

 

 

 

This ^ is so right on the money.

 

It's exactly how I feel when a Wave hits. It's Wd. It's so awful, but it's also a bit reassuring.

 

So sorry for your pain and suffering Mikey!

[[mi...]]

 

I can say this, If you feel like your going to die, your in WD. Thats how I felt

 

 

 

 

This ^ is so right on the money.

 

It's exactly how I feel when a Wave hits. It's Wd. It's so awful, but it's also a bit reassuring.

 

So sorry for your pain and suffering Mikey!

 

 

Feeling So Lost.Dazed.Confused No Interest In Life! Right Now! The Lump Is In Pain. These Symptoms Are Getting Worse And Worse Head Headaches.... daydreaming. seeing shooting floaters lights deep psychosis and my family doesnt even care anymore. i say i with god and whatever happens happens i try not to post so many dwelling bs about me but this is my family BB