Permanent Benzo Damage? This Is Not Fun

[[mi...]]

THE ONLY PEOPLE I BELIEVE IS YOU BB...

 

THAT'S ALL I GOT TO SAY MY PARENTS THINK I AM NUTS.. WITH ME SAYING I GOT A BRAIN TUMOR

 

WHEN I SHAKE MY HEAD I FEEL PAIN AND I FEEL LUMPS MY VISION CHANGES EVERY DAY!! NO USE GOING TO THE ER BECAUSE IF THE TEST

 

CAME BACK NEGATIVE 3 TIMES THEY PUT ME PROB BACK IN THE NUT HOUSE. ALL I AM IS IN PAIN ADVIL AND NOTHING WORKS FACT

 

RIGHT NOW I HAVE FIRBO MY JOINTS ARE INSANE PAIN MY CALF MUSCLES THIGH MUSCLES SHOULDERS ARE CRAZY I DO THE EPSOM SALT BATH

 

IT WORKS GREAT BUT EVERY ONE SAY I AM A GOOD LOOKING MAN THE MORE THESE SYMPTOMS KICK MY ASS THE WORSE I GOING TO GET...

 

ALL I AM SAYING THAT I AM VERY CLOUDY AND FEEL THAT I HAVE A BRAIN TUMOR SYMPTOMS AND WHAT NORMAL 28 YEAR OLD THINKS ABOUT

 

DEATH... I GOT EVERYTHING FROM DELUSIONS TO PSYCHOSIS! MENTAL STATUS BUT DOESN'T MATTER I AM LIVING AND I LOVE BENZOBUDDIES

 

ALOT AND THE PEOPLE ARE GREAT I WILL BE HERE UNTIL THE DAY I DIE

[[mi...]]

Mikey,

 

Just remember, there are those suffering from benzo's that they want to die. You are not alone in your suffering, and if you try hard to get off this medicine slowly, you will recover and get your life back.

 

If you are trying to get off the Klonopin then why are you at 1 mg now when you were at .25 just a few weeks ago...are you confused about your dosage amount or have you raised your dose?

 

Love,

Cupcake

 

NOT ME THE NATURAL DOC HE SAID TAKE 0.75MG TO 1MG JUST TO KEEP IT SAFE NO SEIZURE NEEDED HE IS DOING 3 THINGS WITH ME

 

SANUA/SUPPLEMENTS/HYPONSIS/GETTING OF THE BENZO SLOWLY

[[mi...]]

Mikey,

 

It's not over, though you are beating a dead horse.  I wouldn't recommend going up in dosage anymore, as you were so close to being off and now you are starting over again at 1MG of K.  Part of me wonders if you really wish you would get a Seizure, because that way all of the feelings that you have would turn out to be true.

 

The only truth behind your feelings is that you are in deep benzo withdrawal.  Your mind plays tricks on you and the people closest to you aren't familiar with this process.   I wouldn't necessarily recommend this for many people, but you may want to check out a 3-6 month detox / recovery place where you can successfully be tapered down and have some clean time with no benzos in your system.  I had to do that to get off 7MG of Xanax in 54 days, because I knew I couldn't do it by myself and I was driving my family and doctors nuts with my irrational thinking.  It was hell Mikey, but I am glad I did it because now I can begin to heal now. 

 

Thoughts become Actions Mikey!  You are what you think.  If you want to become like Barry, you will.  It really is that simple.  You are limiting your opportunities by thinking negatively, so why not open a few doors by looking at what you do have in life instead of what you don't have.  It's difficult, but one positive thought leads to another positive thought and before you know it you will be happy again.

 

On a side note:  I have spoke to Barry and he is a nice guy and guess what?  Barry is healed now and is campaigning in the UK to get help for others who have been poisoned by this crap.  So, you see even the worst case scenario can have a happy ending.  Stay the course Mikey!

 

Ziggy

 

 

I WISH WHERE WOULD BE A CURE FOR OBSESSIVE THINKING AND DELUSIONS IF THAT WERE TO BE GONE I WOULD NOT POST EVERYDAY THAT I AM DYING FROM A BRAIN TUMOR I JUST WORRY THAT I AM

[[cu...]]

I promise you are not dying of a brain tumor. You are have symptoms of benzo withdrawal. Now tell me, what are your tapering plans? Why are you at a higher dose now than a few weeks ago?

[[Gm...]]

THE ONLY PEOPLE I BELIEVE IS YOU BB...

 

THAT'S ALL I GOT TO SAY MY PARENTS THINK I AM NUTS.. WITH ME SAYING I GOT A BRAIN TUMOR

 

WHEN I SHAKE MY HEAD I FEEL PAIN AND I FEEL LUMPS MY VISION CHANGES EVERY DAY!! NO USE GOING TO THE ER BECAUSE IF THE TEST

 

CAME BACK NEGATIVE 3 TIMES THEY PUT ME PROB BACK IN THE NUT HOUSE. ALL I AM IS IN PAIN ADVIL AND NOTHING WORKS FACT

 

RIGHT NOW I HAVE FIRBO MY JOINTS ARE INSANE PAIN MY CALF MUSCLES THIGH MUSCLES SHOULDERS ARE CRAZY I DO THE EPSOM SALT BATH

 

IT WORKS GREAT BUT EVERY ONE SAY I AM A GOOD LOOKING MAN THE MORE THESE SYMPTOMS KICK MY ASS THE WORSE I GOING TO GET...

 

ALL I AM SAYING THAT I AM VERY CLOUDY AND FEEL THAT I HAVE A BRAIN TUMOR SYMPTOMS AND WHAT NORMAL 28 YEAR OLD THINKS ABOUT

 

DEATH... I GOT EVERYTHING FROM DELUSIONS TO PSYCHOSIS! MENTAL STATUS BUT DOESN'T MATTER I AM LIVING AND I LOVE BENZOBUDDIES

 

ALOT AND THE PEOPLE ARE GREAT I WILL BE HERE UNTIL THE DAY I DIE

 

Get your butt outside and enjoy being 28. It's Friday, head out to the bar/club and grab a Shirley Temple or a Odouls.  

[[mi...]]

gman thanks alot friend

 

 

Scary News: I am having weakness in my arms and legs i wanted to go to the ER These Symptoms Are Coming Scary and i Scared That This is A Tumor

[[zi...]]

Mikey,

 

Don't go to the ER.. This is all normal.  Remember this stuff screws up the Central Nervous System.. and all GABA receptors must rebuild.  This is why you are numb, and it is very very normal.  It is also normal to think that this is a tumor or that you are going to have a seizure so please give that topic a rest.

 

Ziggy

[[...]]

Mikey,

 

As Ziggy said this stuff really messes with our central nervous system.....as I sit here and type this to you..I am having little tingly feelings in my face...I never had these before..so I know it IS benzo withdrawal...the problem I have is....when will it go away?  That is the kind of stuff I worry about..not if it will go away..but when?

 

I understand what you are saying all these weird things going on...and the central nervous system feeling messed up..it is all temporary......in time...after you are off the medication....all this will repair itself...

 

TC

[[mi...]]

Mikey,

 

Don't go to the ER.. This is all normal.  Remember this stuff screws up the Central Nervous System.. and all GABA receptors must rebuild.  This is why you are numb, and it is very very normal.  It is also normal to think that this is a tumor or that you are going to have a seizure so please give that topic a rest.

 

Ziggy

 

 

i will but one more thing yesterday i got so scared i felt my brain buzzing and i was shaking for a mintue should i worry NOW! CUPCAKE PLEASE REPLY OR SOMEONE this really scared me... Plus Numbness in the face every morning... deep deep psychosis...

[[zi...]]

Mikey,

 

This is all really normal man.. I remember this crap and it too scared the hell out of me.  It is like I could feel my brain vibrating inside my head, and I used to shake uncontrollably for hours during prior to detox and during the detox.  It seemed that the shaking would be worse in the morning and I always used to joke around by telling people that my internal thermometer was broken because I would shake when it was 80 degrees outside.  I ended up shattering a few teeth because I shook so much, and then had to get 4 of my teeth fixed and now I wear a night guard so I don't break any more teeth.

 

The numbness in the face is also really normal, and it seemed to happen after my brain was done vibrating.  Then I felt like my brain was just mush and it literally felt like it was just sloshing around in my head.  If I tilted my head in any direction it felt like my brain mush would flow from one side of my head to the next.  This part is really scary, but just keep that little voice inside your head alive by telling yourself that this too will eventually pass.  Your brain isn't really vibrating and nor is it turning into mush... The GABA receptors are so sensitive that they are shooting off bad signals to the brain and they will eventually regrow and function normally again.

 

This all blows my mind to this day because GABA receptors are all formed before we are even born.  They are key receptors that come alive before we are even conscious, so to experience their regrowth while we are conscious really feels very weird and is painfully slow. 

 

Stay with it Mikey... your doing well

 

Ziggy

[[Ke...]]

Mike, you have to stop thinking you have a brain tumor.  I know it's easier said than done.  You are just going through benzo withdrawal.  I know it's not politically correct to say but I was sure I had made myself retarded.  It sounds nuts to me now but I was sure of it.  I was sure I would be committed for retardism even though it's not a word, I was sure I had at.  Now a few more months out I can look back and think how ridiculous that sounds.  I was sure it would never go away but it did.  I had a period where I didn't have a window for close to 3 months.  It's depressing but you will get through it.  Just know that it's going to take time.  And the real healing comes once you get off this poison.

[[mi...]]

Also My Teeth A Chaterring  and Severe Weakness  I Go Take Naps 4 Times A DaY... Like I Said Yesterday It Was Crazy Feeling

 

BUZZING in the head And Shaking Like a Convulsion my head went up and DOWN... It Only Lasted 30 Seconds

 

Fear of Cancer, Tired Of The Lump Pains Tired Of THE blurry vISON NO INTERSET ZIGGY THANKS FOR REPLY ALSO KENETTH

 

I AM STILL SCARED THAT I HAVE A BRAIN TUMORMY TEETH ARE CHATERRING LIKE CRAZY I YAWNING LIKE CRAZY AS WELL

[[zi...]]

Mikey,

 

I broke four teeth from chattering so much during withdrawal and had to get a mouth guard for when I sleep.  I remember I would wake up and be shivering like crazy, as if I was in -30 below weather.  It's just the withdrawals, because your internal thermometer isn't working right.  It sucks, plane and simple and there is no way around it.  Your body is so weak right now because it is in complete overdrive and has come to a rest so it can heal.  I would sleep for 18 hours a day, and had absolutly no interest in any of my hobbies or people for that matter.  Your nervous system is completely depressed, which is why you are so mentally depressed.  Because the withdrawal is so extended it take a toll on everything in your entire life including your emotions and outlook on life.  Believe me this withdrawal would sink the strongest person alive, and what you are going through is normal and you aren't physically or mentally damaged in anyway. 

 

As far as the cancer, seizure, lumps and stuff go we've already told you that you don't have it and you continue to post about it on almost every thread.  I felt this way too, the only difference is that I didn't really talk about it too much because I knew people would think I was insane so I kept it to myself.  It's good that you can talk about it, but you have to admit it is getting a bit old and you have to just accept that you are 100% healthy and have no deadly diseases.  It's all in your head, and unfortunately it is part of the ride so the only thing you can do is embrace it and move on to the next issue. 

 

Ziggy

[[Me...]]

Mikey,

I just have one question for you.  If you don't believe the MRI why did you bother getting one done?  I think you know you don't have a brain tumor.    This is just the benzos talking.  You are ok

 

[[su...]]

Hi Mickey I know you have not ever answered my questions or even thanked me for the advice I gave you but I am going to ask again...

 

have any of your symptoms gone away ? are you still constipated ?

 

you're buddy

 

sundazed 

[[mi...]]

Hi Mickey I know you have not ever answered my questions or even thanked me for the advice I gave you but I am going to ask again...

 

have any of your symptoms gone away ? are you still constipated ?

 

you're buddy

 

sundazed  

 

 

no constipated i am scared as well with my gi issues.......

 

clay color stools......white and grey i do not what to do i am 156lb only these symptoms come a go.. this is fked up i tell you

 

now this a crazy and funny part nobody in your family believe me about i have a tumor. but i believe i have a tumor,  cloudy vision everyday. pain in the head than it stops than it comes again and stops and comes again its pissing me off  and nobody will know anything or judge, if your in your own body i messed up  i am so sorry if i dont make sense...

 

i should have never abused the xanax.... past was the past now its a 2nd chance is right now! Not one food item helps i eat something i

 

severely bloated. nothing works it goes by itself how to live with 500 symptoms daily they come a go. like the nausea it comes and it goes

 

no chemicals works anymore i dont even feel vitamins working. when will this psychosis leave my body   i feel i got chemical damage

[[ma...]]

Listen to me man

 

You dont have a tumor

 

I have and had everything you had I had all the symptoms of mal absorbtion and the discolored stools just as you describe.

 

You need to get off all drugs safely and then stay off, eat well, and lower stress. Vitamins can rev symptoms up stop messing around with other drugs more doctors etc.......... You will make it you just need to keep moving forward.

[[mi...]]

okay then if i dont have at tumor why do i have sharp pain pressing down on my head  for three months no advil works no tylenol works. it comes and goes confusion,seeing stars, blurry vision, double vision,when i move my eyes, again i went to a stupid neuro and everything is good but i'm not. it takes me a while to make food. it take a me awhile to get clothes.  one week again i was playing golf now i don't feel like doing anything.

 

my uncle was almost 82 and died from cancer i do not want to be the second person to die this year..

[[mt...]]

Because your body and brain IS STILL HEALING.  You feel good and then bad then good and then bad...that seems to be what alot of folks on this forum are experiencing....  Its horrible to feel good and then go back to feeling bad but that seems to be the process... Do you read other posts??  Your S/x are fairly common for most folks here...

[[mi...]]

SEEING SEVERE STARS AND WHITE DOTS...

ITS BAD I FEEL SOMETHING IS IN MY HEAD AND IT'S  PUSHING DOWN I AND I FEEL LIKE SLEEPING I AM TOO WEAK

I FEEL LIKE A ROCK OR SOMETHING SOMETHING  HARD PUSHING DOWN. MEMORY LOSS, TWICHING IN THE AFTERNOON,  NO DOCTOR IS HELPING ME IT BEEN LIKE THIS 3 MONTHS  I AM THINKING ABOUT GETTING A ECT IF GET WORSE MAYBE THE OBSESSIVE THINKING WILL BE GONE.....

[[mi...]]

ONE MORE THING SHOULD I BE WORRIED IF I DON'T FEEL ANY CHEMICAL MEDICINE LETS SAY ADVIL OR TYLENOL...

I DO NOT FEEL THE KLONOPIN....... AT ALL. LETS SAY I HAVE TO GO THE HOSPITAL FOR A SURGERY I WILL NOT FEEL ANY PAIN MEDS.. I WORRY AND WORRY AND I CAN'T STOP. 

 

THERE ARE 4 THINGS I AM WORRIED ABOUT

 

1.BRAIN TUMOR

2. SEIZURE

3.SEIZURE AND DEATH

4. I HAVEN'T GOTTEN SICK OVER 2 YEARS I WORRY THAT I WILL GET SICK AND DIE... FROM SOME KIND OF INFECTION MY MIND IS PLAYING GAMES WITH ME NOTHING IS WORKING I AM TRYING BRAIN EXERCISES NOTHING IS WORKING I AM LISTENING TO MUSIC STILL THINKING...

[[fr...]]

mikeyst27, I been reading your post. I am sitting here and it feels like something is pushing down on my head too, Right on the back top. I have had this for years. Sometimes I had to sit to shower. After I quit drinking yrs ago it slowly subsided. For the most part it wasn't noticable aslong as I stayed busy. I was on many different benzos , before I even knew what they were. I do hate the head pains the worse. The burning and presure makes it hard to do much , hard to walk straight sometimes. I think that the Kolonpin is the worse for this fealing in wd. I know I am working my way down again in a fast way.

You are not feeling anything that alot of us have felt. Years ago I thought it was a tumor too, but now I know it just plain sucks. But it will easy up slowly over time once you get off the benzo's. Since I have gotton to a lower dose, its not always bad, smoking really makes it worse.. the head pain. I had to cut back, I wait til night. I would not take headache pills as they make it worse too. I think that the msg's in food makes it worse too , but I am not testing that theory today as its a little worse today than the norm. I think I have a bad reaction to the Klonopin as the Valium does not do this, but its hard to tell as I am taking small doses of both. The head pain is the one thing I can defiatley talk to you about.  You don't have a tumor and either do I ,, a tumor would be easier and I don't think we get that lucky  (joke)..  But I know how you feel it wasn't that long ago I was a mess too.. Just take it easy for now. You will have your life back . I know is sucks, I hate the waiting too.  Chad

[[zi...]]

Mikey,

 

I walked around for 3 months with the head pressure... it was weird because I felt that I had the entire world pushing down on me and for some reason the sun made it worse.  It still is weird here and there, but I do remember the weight feeling in my head and entire body for that matter.  It literally felt like I had about 10 people on top of me that I was carrying around all in my head.  It passes bro.. and unfortunately is part of this bizarre process.

 

zigg

[[mi...]]

Mikey,

 

I walked around for 3 months with the head pressure... it was weird because I felt that I had the entire world pushing down on me and for some reason the sun made it worse.  It still is weird here and there, but I do remember the weight feeling in my head and entire body for that matter.  It literally felt like I had about 10 people on top of me that I was carrying around all in my head.  It passes bro.. and unfortunately is part of this bizarre process.

 

zigg

 

HOW ABOUT NUMBNESS IN THE FACE IT HAPPENS TO ME IN THE MORNINGS

[[...]]

Mikey,

 

I walked around for 3 months with the head pressure... it was weird because I felt that I had the entire world pushing down on me and for some reason the sun made it worse.  It still is weird here and there, but I do remember the weight feeling in my head and entire body for that matter.  It literally felt like I had about 10 people on top of me that I was carrying around all in my head.  It passes bro.. and unfortunately is part of this bizarre process.

 

zigg

 

HOW ABOUT NUMBNESS IN THE FACE IT HAPPENS TO ME IN THE MORNINGS

 

 

Been there..done that...all part of the process...

 

TC