6-12 month thread....

[[Co...]]

SAS ...you are just a few days behind me. Your wave is sounding a lot like my last wave. It began in month 9.5 and was pretty constant through 10.5 . My biggest s/x was head pressure and the anxiety that it triggered.I also had been seeing some windows in the months right before my big face plant. It has been my worst wave since month 6. ...Now I am in my 4th day of cycling between windows,  sunbreaks and a better baseline.

.....Hold on Sas. do whatever helps you to get through the day. Try not to put any unneeded stress.  Focus on the priorities and make sure self care is a priority....you are going to get through this.... coop

[[Mo...]]

I hear you, Nova. I'm ok with frustrated, tired and confused. It's suicidal I try not to mess around with. I had a real taste of it during my taper and am always hyper vigilant when depression starts lurking about. I think I'm safely out of those rough waters. That is my sincerest hope, anyway.

 

Love,

Peace

 

How is it going?  Any better.  Tomorrow is the 1st. 

[[Mo...]]

WORD FOR THE DAY

 

Tuesday, Sep. 30

 

Hope is like a road in the country: there was never a road, but when many people walk on it, the road comes into existence.

 

Lin Yutang

 

Yes, absolutely.  It is why I am so glad for the other's who go ahead of us and why I want to make sure I reach back when I am done.. Thank you Nova

[[Mo...]]

I have been off the boards for a few days.  I am sorry to see so many of you having a difficult time.  Remember, this too shall pass!

 

Well, I can bring a bit of good news regarding my sleep the past few days as I sit here at 5 a.m. typing.  I find that there has been some improvement in my sleeping.  Some nights 5 hours which is pretty darn good for me.  Still broken sleep but at least sleep.  Also, I have not used any sleeping aid which is huge for me.  Over twenty years since I've gone this long without taking meds of any kind.  It's still one day at a time.  Have to admit I am feeling somewhat better overall and I'm sure the sleep is helping.

 

Still have to wait on the stress test, echocardiogram at the end of October.  That along with waiting for results from an ultra sound my wife is having  on her one remaining ovary.  Having been through melanoma and breast cancer I find I get nervous awaiting the results.  She has the unique ability to not worry until there is something to worry about.

 

Anyhow, I wish nothing but better days ahead for all who are still dealing with these miserable symptoms.  Just keep grinding your way through.  We know from past experience there are better days ahead.

 

Garton, I am glad you have had some sleep.  It helps so much.  I will celebrate with you as I got some last night too.  Not deep, but also no crazy train.  Counting my blessings.  My husband is one of those calm people too.  Believing with you your wife will have a great report.  Keep us posted!

[[Mo...]]

Peace..Sky...Sas...Nova..Whoot...Mommy ...and everyone else in a wave....my heart is with you.

.....This is such a tough road. I truly believe that we are all going to heal. I had my worst wave in month 9.5-10.5..and 8 was no picnic. ...In a wave I can not talk myself into connecting with my windows or positivity the best I can do in a wave is endure and distract distract distract. The only time I didn't think a wave would end was month 9.5-10.5...

....I have been off the thread for a few days because I have been in a three day window and my head pressure s/x are so so much better ( knock on wood). I didn't want to post how good I am feeling right now while so many are suffering so much. However.  I want to pass along some encouragement if I can...At month 11 I am seeing a baseline of 85-90% ...in a window 00-100%. These past 3/4 days I am cycling between baseline and window. Some mild anxiety ..a few mild headaches in the morning...moments of transient fleeting light depression. I am not pushing myself to ' get out there ' because I am afraid of a set back. I am going softly through this good patch. I am anticipating more waves and another year of healing,  but this is the longest stretch of improvement I have had in 11 months.

....I want to share this because I amhoping this will be some littlecbit of reassurance to all of those in the last 3 months of year one. It seem to be true that there is a killer wave late in year one followed by a jump up in the baseline. I hope this holds for all of us.

....I am holding all of you in my heart ....things are going to get better.  I honestly believe it is just ' getting through ' in any way that you can.. from wave to window.  to baseline.  to wave ..window..cycling.  baseline.  Repeat...Repeat Repeat until done. Others have found bigger and better tools in their tool kit but for me.  Acceptance had been my best help... and it took me 9 months to learn even moments of acceptance...and in a bad wave it is nearly impossible . I am also gaurding my health obsessivly.  .No processed foods...no sugar ( once in awhile a little dark chocolate).  No alcohol...decaf ..tons of fruit/veggies...a green smoothie every morning.  No supplements,  herbals,  vitamins or homeopathaics. Excedrin for headaches and I am now off proprnolol ( keep one with me for panic possibility). I have experimented along the way with several supplements,  vitamins,  homeopathics,  and herbal formulas...they all either provided no relief or made things worse. However if you go to the " other medications " and " alternative medication " threads you will find comments regarding most of the common alternatives and adjunct meds.

....We are ALL going to heal. ...We are all nearly to one year...I next year will be ' our ' year....love to every one of you...sending wishes for a better day today....coop

 

 

I am agreeeing with you Coop.  I loved that Mrs told us about those who came back and PM'd her to let her know they were doing great.  If at all possible we should celebrate when this is done.  I find acceptance easier when I'm not thrust into wave during my sleep, which seems to be the case now.. oh well.. Congratulations on being of the proprnolol.  That is really good news.  I staying off the D for now.  No sleep aids either, not even the benedryl as it feels like my body wants to what it wants and if I try to soften it there is a boomerang effect.

 

Have a good day.  I hope you walked the dog or something.  I am doing well today.  Hubby is leaving, but I have a house guest, so getting things done that I don't need to worry about. 

 

MommyR

[[Sk...]]

Bad Morning. Just got my son on the bus an then started vomiting. That kept up for about an hour. I'm so beaten.  I just can't control the vomiting. I have tried Zophran, Composene, and ginger. Nothing helps. It feels like it's more from the head(gag kindof thing).

 

Fear is horrible today as is the ringing. I'm so bummed about where I am at 10 months off. I feel like this has been my worst month in the last 6. How can this be. These waves should be getting less and less but they are still so strong. This wave is now 8 days long. I was getting 2-3 days waves 2-3 times a month until this. I am so scared I'll be a 2-3 year recovery. I can't do that. Why won't God help me!

 

I just started back to work this month. They are letting me work from home, which is nice, but I am having a hard time. I can't concentrate to read more than a paragraph. Skin is crawling. I'm pacing the house all day. I can't keep this up. The intensity of these symptom is horrible torture. I feel so scared.

 

Sasquatch, I hope your fear is a little better by now, venting here helps a lot.

 

I hope you found some buddy with suggestions on what can sooth the vomiting. For now hang in there.

 

Mommy, your ticker is sooo cute !

 

THe day wasn't as bad as expected. I had some strong head pressure, you know the whole band was playing but they were playing softly. So softly that, after lessons, I went to do some shopping and almost didn't hear it as I watched some kids playing, trying to run after some pretty bunnies.

 

Then I got back home and it was business as usual,.  Oh,well, this too shall pass.

[[Sk...]]

Coop, great to hear that you had some good days and that you are still well. You did well to take a break but don't believe that we would have been unhappy to hear that you were getting break.Your wd has hardly been a breeze.

 

 

[[sa...]]

Doing a little better, but still battling this wave. The body is calming down after that nastiness this morning. Watching some movies on tv now. Helps pass the time. I'm going to do guided meditation later and see if that helps the anxiety. I'm praying for us all. For a speedy recovery.

[[No...]]

Coop ... nice to hear you are having some sunny breaks ... hope it lasts a good long time ... like maybe forever ...

 

[[Mo...]]

Sky-- congratulations on 10 months off!!

 

Garton-- I'm so glad to hear your doing better! You can count me in as one who is married to a non worrier too. I get so jealous and irritated that he is always calm as a cucumber while I'm freaking out, but yes I do think we balance each other out.

Peace-- how are you feeling?

 

Jenny, did you get the dog allergy situation taken care of?

[[Gr...]]

It is a quiet forum this evening, so I thought I'd stop by and break the silence!

 

(Better to break silence than to break wind, eh?! Eh?! )

 

Today I received a message from another buddy who had been gone from the forum for quite a long time (a couple years or so). Their last posts were at 15 months out, and they were dealing with lots of symptoms: lots of anxiety, cog fog, depression, palpitations, etc etc etc, y'all know the list...

 

Today, they are doing absolutely GREAT! No anxiety, panic, fear, cog-fog, depression, etc ALL GONE! The only thing they mentioned was a very slight fog when under very large amounts of stress, which is incredibly rare. They said they still eat healthy, exercise healthy, etc, valuing the good health they have! I asked them if I could share this info with others here, as I thought it would be very encouraging As soon as they reply back and let me know if its OK, I will share their PM with you & their last couple posts from a couple years back For those in the 12-15-18 month range, you will LOVE it!!

 

Also, another buddy who suffered lots of anxiety, panic, fear, fatigue, depression, etc as far out as 18 months, PMed me a couple weeks ago. They are now in the 22-24 month range (if I'm remembering correctly) and said they are seeing major and rapid improvements daily! Too cool.

 

Bottom line: no matter what happens along the way, we ABSOLUTELY will heal. Both of these buddies have not posted a success story, not because they don't care, but because they just got on with their lives and didn't really think of it Life got good, and they got bust enjoying it

 

How cool is that? I plan Ob posting a success story for sure, but I tell ya what -- I'm looking forward to the day where I "almost forget to post a success story because life is that good and I'm that engaged in it"!!

 

Love to you all. Our healing us absolutely manifesting, absolutely every day in every way Amen!!

 

Mrs.

 

Mrs., thank you so much for reaching out.  Jaso and the Canadian doctor post helped me tremendously.  I love reading these things.

[[wh...]]

Coop I just saw your post; very happy for you

Thank you for posting and encouraging everyone. You didn't have to wait because we were all in a funk. 

We are all so happy for you.  I can hardly wait for your success story. You have been an amazing friend to me through this hell.

The others here as well.

 

Sasquach I'm glad you are feeling better very rough day for you.  You are very strong. Everyone seems a bit better today. Hi guys.

 

  I have been watching a lot of tv today.  I am not on the floor begging for some relief from the health/fear anxiety, dizziness sore achy... all better today.  The Grimm is still there but not so intense.  I hope this is my new baseline.

I just got my book Recovery and Renewal in the mail.  It's good and helpful.  Hopeful.

 

[[Gr...]]

Hi ... thanks for the post Mrs ... the more reassurance I get the better ...

 

Today was and still is very rough ... surges ... anxiety ... stomach stuff ... nerve firings ... the head pressure ... all the usual culprits for me ...

 

What I find very frustrating is the surge of something just as I am nodding off ... also a background surge maybe a few minutes before I nod off ...

 

Feels likes a combination of things ... breathing disruption, the inner vibrations, and some sort of chemical dumping ... not new for me, and many others have describe the same type of events ...

 

Very frustrating ... very stressful ...

 

Nova,

I know exactly what it is.  It's horrible and I hate it.  Hope it passes for you soon.

[[dr...]]

well after lurking here as a youngling who jumped I am now all growns up and officially able to become a member of the 6-12 month thread.   i just entered month six and I am in a wave.  Ugh...feeling panicky as I type this.  I took a small amount of my beta blocker as I only use them when in a wave and suffering undue palps and other weird body stuff.  I am at work and just clocking 30 minute intervals and I know this will pass. 

 

I try acceptance and just finally finished reading Bayliss' book.  It is hard to practice acceptance and being an observer to our symptoms when  getting hit but try I do.

 

Coop and everyone else-please don't ever hesitate or delay typing good news.  It is a relief and reassuring to see any of us doing well.

I actually was in a window the whole time I was travelling which was perfect.  My last wave was two weeks and I am hoping this one is shorter.   

 

Drew

[[Gr...]]

Hello everybody, I am trying to write this before my brain shuts down again !

 

Sorry for all the suffering here on the board. Peace, my thoughts are with you.

 

I had a nice m orning for my tenth month anniversary, the sun was shining, it was a lovely day and I was there to appreciate it. I could even type better !!! 

 

Then, at lunchtime I started getting some head pressure and was very cautious. I tried to relax, didn't do anything too challlenging for my poor shocked, startled brain but it still got worse because these things are part of wd and have to happen.

 

The head pressure got so bad, I kept thinking about Coop,was it, that had it for so long every day ? Anyway I thought about you buddies that have had this symptom so much more.

 

THen, my mom called for her daily chat. She told me she had met my cousin, he had started talking to her, she had had no idea of who he was, and then suddenly she realized. She was a little upset, of course.

 

She has always been forgetful, and she does not have an eye for people's faces. But that does really nothing to explain what happened. She needed to be reassured.

I cannot go to check personally, she is in the south of Italy and I cannot travel, I just don't have the money yet for the trip. I haven't seen her in almost a  year.

And she tellls me the dog and cat are behaving strangely like they did when I was in the hospital. I have this feeling things have gotten a little oout of hand without me there to encourage her.

 

SO, I was really very sick all night, my legs got stiff, my eyes got worse, nausea the whole band.

 

Today, I will have to contact an idiot relative who has not called me once in 11 months to see how I am. I will have to ask her to look into my mother, who has always treated her like a daughter.

 

Sorry, for venting, but clearrly this is having an effect on me and I had to explain.

 

Wish you all well, here it is 9 in the morning.

 

Sky, I'm so sorry to hear this.  How old is your mom?  This runs in my family and I'm concerned, for family members and for myself.  Do some research and see if there are early interventions that can slow the progression.  In the meantime I guess you just have to take it a day at a time. 

[[Gr...]]

Hi Folks ... thanks for the encouragement ... it is so reassuring to know I am not alone in this ...

 

This wave is not a "setback" .... I keep telling myself that over and over and over ... this is what it is "today" ... I have been off and on sick for something like three weeks now ... with periods of relief every so often ...

 

There is nothing to "blame" this on ... I can only name this as more healing ...

 

And I have been in a place of no relief for about 24 hours now ... I did receive a few snatches of broken sleep last night, maybe a couple of hours ... so that is some relief I guess ...

 

And it is all physical ... much like a dose of benzo "flu" ... all my physical symptoms parading around again ... looping around and around ...

 

I am not in "distress" ... I am probably not even "confused" ... and I am grounded ... I have much more resilience, experience and support than I had during these storms of many months ago ...

 

I suppose my "mood" is "resigned" ... each and every one of these storms has always relented or perhaps "completed" their cycle ... this morning "waiting out" another one ...

 

 

Nova, sorry to hear you have this wave.  And glad you're weathering it better than in the past.  I see you're almost at the big 1 Year Off anniversary.  This must be your month 12 wave.

[[Gr...]]

I have been off the boards for a few days.  I am sorry to see so many of you having a difficult time.  Remember, this too shall pass!

 

Well, I can bring a bit of good news regarding my sleep the past few days as I sit here at 5 a.m. typing.  I find that there has been some improvement in my sleeping.  Some nights 5 hours which is pretty darn good for me.  Still broken sleep but at least sleep.  Also, I have not used any sleeping aid which is huge for me.  Over twenty years since I've gone this long without taking meds of any kind.  It's still one day at a time.  Have to admit I am feeling somewhat better overall and I'm sure the sleep is helping.

 

Still have to wait on the stress test, echocardiogram at the end of October.  That along with waiting for results from an ultra sound my wife is having  on her one remaining ovary.  Having been through melanoma and breast cancer I find I get nervous awaiting the results.  She has the unique ability to not worry until there is something to worry about.

 

Anyhow, I wish nothing but better days ahead for all who are still dealing with these miserable symptoms.  Just keep grinding your way through.  We know from past experience there are better days ahead.

 

Garton, I'm glad to hear you're getting some sleep and having a better time of it.  You deserve a break.  And your wife is in my prayers.

[[Gr...]]

Bad Morning. Just got my son on the bus an then started vomiting. That kept up for about an hour. I'm so beaten.  I just can't control the vomiting. I have tried Zophran, Composene, and ginger. Nothing helps. It feels like it's more from the head(gag kindof thing).

 

Fear is horrible today as is the ringing. I'm so bummed about where I am at 10 months off. I feel like this has been my worst month in the last 6. How can this be. These waves should be getting less and less but they are still so strong. This wave is now 8 days long. I was getting 2-3 days waves 2-3 times a month until this. I am so scared I'll be a 2-3 year recovery. I can't do that. Why won't God help me!

 

I just started back to work this month. They are letting me work from home, which is nice, but I am having a hard time. I can't concentrate to read more than a paragraph. Skin is crawling. I'm pacing the house all day. I can't keep this up. The intensity of these symptom is horrible torture. I feel so scared.

 

Sasq

The nausea is coming from the head.  It's the kind of nausea you get from vertigo, that's what it was for me, like the equilibrium is off, or seasickness.  Try the Seabands, they might have them at CVS.  It think it's something you put on your wrist for sea or air sickness.

[[Gr...]]

well after lurking here as a youngling who jumped I am now all growns up and officially able to become a member of the 6-12 month thread.   i just entered month six and I am in a wave.  Ugh...feeling panicky as I type this.  I took a small amount of my beta blocker as I only use them when in a wave and suffering undue palps and other weird body stuff.  I am at work and just clocking 30 minute intervals and I know this will pass. 

 

I try acceptance and just finally finished reading Bayliss' book.  It is hard to practice acceptance and being an observer to our symptoms when  getting hit but try I do.

 

Coop and everyone else-please don't ever hesitate or delay typing good news.  It is a relief and reassuring to see any of us doing well.

I actually was in a window the whole time I was travelling which was perfect.  My last wave was two weeks and I am hoping this one is shorter.   

 

Drew

 

Drew, allow me to "officially" welcome you to the 6-12.  You will get all the support you need here.  And it really does get better.  Welcome

[[dr...]]

It is a quiet forum this evening, so I thought I'd stop by and break the silence!

 

(Better to break silence than to break wind, eh?! Eh?! )

 

Today I received a message from another buddy who had been gone from the forum for quite a long time (a couple years or so). Their last posts were at 15 months out, and they were dealing with lots of symptoms: lots of anxiety, cog fog, depression, palpitations, etc etc etc, y'all know the list...

 

Today, they are doing absolutely GREAT! No anxiety, panic, fear, cog-fog, depression, etc ALL GONE! The only thing they mentioned was a very slight fog when under very large amounts of stress, which is incredibly rare. They said they still eat healthy, exercise healthy, etc, valuing the good health they have! I asked them if I could share this info with others here, as I thought it would be very encouraging As soon as they reply back and let me know if its OK, I will share their PM with you & their last couple posts from a couple years back For those in the 12-15-18 month range, you will LOVE it!!

 

Also, another buddy who suffered lots of anxiety, panic, fear, fatigue, depression, etc as far out as 18 months, PMed me a couple weeks ago. They are now in the 22-24 month range (if I'm remembering correctly) and said they are seeing major and rapid improvements daily! Too cool.

 

Bottom line: no matter what happens along the way, we ABSOLUTELY will heal. Both of these buddies have not posted a success story, not because they don't care, but because they just got on with their lives and didn't really think of it Life got good, and they got bust enjoying it

 

How cool is that? I plan Ob posting a success story for sure, but I tell ya what -- I'm looking forward to the day where I "almost forget to post a success story because life is that good and I'm that engaged in it"!!

 

Love to you all. Our healing us absolutely manifesting, absolutely every day in every way Amen!!

 

Mrs.

 

I missed this as the thread moves so quick.  So helpful!!!!

[[Gr...]]

Hi Everyone.

 

First, Peace, Nova, Sasq, Sky, and everyone else struggling with sx, you're in my daily prayers. 

 

I, like Coop, didn't want to talk about doing better while so many were suffering.  I'm not like Coop at all.  I still have lots of symptoms.  Nausea, dizzy, mild head pressure, and today I had some DP/DR and cog fog, but it ebbs and flows all day long, and it just seems to be manageable.  The improvement for me is I'm getting out the door even without feeling that great, and I manage to have some pretty good quality days.  To those of you who do more, this is not impressive, but it's real progress for me.  My sx were intense and I had a lot of fear, I was always too sick to do much, or afraid if I did anything I would overdo and cause worse sx. (Which is what always happens)

 

So yesterday I cleaned up the living room pretty good, went shopping, made two cakes, had people over for my son's birthday.  Not a major party, just some friends.  And while I spent some time with a very active three year old, I could feel the sx flood me, but I ignored it and it passed.  And that's the improvement, I get really intense sx, I don't panic, and they seem to pass. 

 

I have a raging headache now, but it's manageable, nausea, whoozy, but I'm good.  This is my improvement, that my baseline improved enough that I can function in the world.  I still wouldn't try to work, still have sleep problems, still not ready for a vacation (not one I want to enjoy, anyway)  As long as I don't focus on what I cant do, and instead focus on what's improved, I do so much better.

 

So, like Coop, within the framework of the two year healing timeline, this is real progress.  I feel hopeful, for all of us. 

[[sa...]]

Starting month six do I qualify.  I really can use lots of support as I am in a dark place and just trying to make it day to day.

[[dr...]]

Yes Satch....we are both starting month six which qualifies us

[[sa...]]

Sadly not a group I ever wanted to be a part of but glad for the extra support.  Anyone else out there who cold turkeyed.  I got pounded in a detox which has ruined me.  So scared folks that I'm not going to ever heal from this.  I have the worst depression known to man and often have to pace in the mornings. 

[[dr...]]

I'm getting beat up today myself Satch. My brain makes it feel like I'm in another reality today.  Very scary some of the mental stuff.  I thought the worst of the mental passed but this is pretty frightful.  Just trying to listen to my rational mind saying " this isn't permanent and it will pass".