6-12 month thread....

[[sa...]]

Allison,

 

I've had weight loss issues throughout this. I have nausea and vomiting as my worst symptoms(lucky me). It does tend to move in waves though. During a wave, I can't eat much, but sometimes later afternoon I can. I eat whenever I can. I've started drinking Ensure to try to gain weight. I drink about 4-6 of them throughout the day. If I can eat that day, I will eat as well. That seems to help with the weight. Even in this wave of 7 days, I have been able to hold my weight. I'm hoping that when I snap out of it, I'll be able to gain a few pounds.

 

 

[[Gr...]]

Hi 6-12 folks, I hope you are all doing OK. I need help. I am losing lots of weight now - I can't stand food. I make protein drinks in the blender but even that is hard to get down. If any of you have any experience with this, please let me know what your experience was. Did the weight loss occur in waves or all the time? If you gained any weight back, how did you do it? Any comments appreciated. I am scared.

 

Allie,

 

I lost a lot, but I had it to lose.  By six months, my weight had stabilized.  I started gaining it back by month 7.  How is your BMI? Have you had blood work done recently? 

But you're not losing weight for some unexplained reason, it's because you're not eating, from what you say.  I would get a physical and then start drinking Ensure.

When I lost the 40 pounds, I wasn't eating much, but I was eating, and my metabolism was wildly revved up.  So even when I started eating more, it took a while for the weight to stick.  And I struggled all my life to lose weight, so this was really frightening for me, I thought for sure I must have cancer.  But I'm an eater, one of those who eats through most anything, and my weight came back.  I'm repeating myself.  Get the physical.  And stack up on the calories.  Get appetizing things that you like.

[[Gr...]]

I'm in a horrible wave. 10 months out and slammed. 7 days now. This is one of my longest waves since month 4. I feel like it's month one. Anxiety is off the chart. I feel like I'm vibrating. Nausea, ringng in the head -- all bad. months 7-10 I feel like there has been no real change. Trying to work from home, but even that is hard.  I can't even move at the moment, the nausea is so bad. I want to cry.

 

Sasq, you're two weeks behind me.  This is going to get better.  It will break soon

[[sa...]]

Thanks for the encouragement Green. I just with the waves would start decreasing in intensity and duration like folks say they will. The end of month 8 was like this as well. I'll give the seabands a try. I'll try anything at this point. When I feel this bad, I just fear that I'll be like this for another year. I pray that is not the case.

[[Mo...]]

Hi 6-12 folks, I hope you are all doing OK. I need help. I am losing lots of weight now - I can't stand food. I make protein drinks in the blender but even that is hard to get down. If any of you have any experience with this, please let me know what your experience was. Did the weight loss occur in waves or all the time? If you gained any weight back, how did you do it? Any comments appreciated. I am scared.

 

Alison.. are losing weight because of the nausea?  I was zophran for almost the entirety of my taper.  The nausea was too much for me.  I lost 30lbs in a 2-3 months period.  Protein shakes made me ill.  The only thing I could get down was 1 egg on toast and half a tuna sandwich.  Dairy Queen milk shakes can help with the calories.  I also would try to drink half a protein drink. 

 

I used two versions.  One was by Herbalife.  It's hypoallergenic with no artificial sweetener.  I would do 1/2 to 2/3 of the powder and milk.  I blended it quickly and powered it down, then laid down immediately.  I had the gags and dry heaves for a looooooong time.  It am actually surprised I don't have them right now. 

 

The other is expensive but it's people with IBS and celiac disease. and fybromyalgia.  It's called  Metagenics and it's not cheap, but here is the link:  http://www.amazon.com/Ultra-InflamX-Mango-25-70-Ounces/dp/B001ECZMG0/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1412003386&sr=8-1&keywords=metagenics+ultrainflamx

 

Do you have a doctor supporting you?  If yes, ask for the zophran.  Also, buy electrolyte water.  We have  a place here called Trader Joes that sells 12 bottles in boxes.  Not expensive.  I also used to put red gatorade with ice and a blender and suck on it.  The heavier a wave, the more painful the nausea. 

 

You can try sucking on pedialyte popsicles or gatorade popsicles. 

 

Because our healing isn't linear I believe we can get things at 6-10 12 months out that we never had during taper and in acute stages.  It's just the nature of this beast. 

 

Hang in there. 

 

MommyR

[[Gr...]]

Allie, I agree with Mommy on the protein.  That's not going to put a lot of weight on you.  and protein made me sick as a dog.  You need calories.

 

Sasq, I swear this breaks, and it starts to get better.  This is a very bad wave, very long.  I couldn't believe how long it was.  It rattled me terribly.  You will see improvement soon.  Just hang on.

[[Gr...]]

SKY,

 

HAPPY 10 MONTH ANNIVERSARY!!

 

You're two weeks behind me.  This wave does get better.  Hope that's happening for you. 

 

Thanks Green, I am very excited, I posted an update to my progress log about it. I wanted to post something here but that was too much for me, baby steps it is.

 

Sky, I read your log.  It sounds like the template for a success story.  We have a ways to go, but it's nice to read things that feel strong, that let us know we will come out on the other side.  Enjoy this day 

[[Mo...]]

I'm in a horrible wave. 10 months out and slammed. 7 days now. This is one of my longest waves since month 4. I feel like it's month one. Anxiety is off the chart. I feel like I'm vibrating. Nausea, ringng in the head -- all bad. months 7-10 I feel like there has been no real change. Trying to work from home, but even that is hard.  I can't even move at the moment, the nausea is so bad. I want to cry.

 

I am so sorry Sas.  I'm in one also and it's very unpleasant.  I have had nausea so piercing I begged my husband to take me to the ER.  The only thing I could do was lay in bed and moan.  I only know to say this is part of the process.  This morning I was crying too and I told my husband he wasn't fair.  His response was that life isn't fair. 

 

What can we d, but make it minute to minute, day to day.  Please hang in there.  I spent a lot of time watching uplifting shows, sermons.. anything to get thru the time.  Stay on the boards and read success stories.  My heart is with you.

 

MommyR

[[Mo...]]

MommyR ... thanks you for the "re-post" from lost dog ... I found it re-assuring ... once again I had "forgotten" that I had once read that post ...

 

Boy was I glad to read his story.  It has been playing thru my mind all night.  I'm glad your wife is home now.  So sorry for the anxiety.  It feels like something in the air has set a bunch of us off.  The blessing for you today is you got sleep.  Oh how that makes a difference.  The anxiety, boaty.. yuk yuk yuk.  I am thinking about you today Nova.  Yesterday, I woke up at 4am and kept waiting for the sun to come up.  It was 6am and nothing.. then I thought of you and knew you had it before me, so I waited. 

 

Please continue to be steadfast for us.  We love your soothing words. 

 

MommyR

[[wh...]]

Hi guys

I'm still in that desperate fear/anxiety dizzy; sore body; period that won't stop place today.

I guess it is better than it used to be but still horrible. I know I am behind most of you guys but I still feel that this board is where I can come for support and hopefully give some hope.

This fear is so strong I feel like I could die....I just want my life with my guy/ I've waited forever to meet him. 

That thought just fuels my out of control anxiety.  I was screaming out loud into my pillow...it seemed to help a bit.

You guys are all so strong and I pray for all of us and think of you guys a lot.

We will make it.  we will.  This will end.  God we are strong to do this.

Hoping for a window; some relief today for myself and for the rest of you suffering

I love to see how you are looking back and seeing progress even when not having a good day.  Manageable.

Right now I am not there and am white knuckling it through this morning.  :'( Scared. But somehow better than before; not sure how I know this....I just do.

Love you guys. thank you for listening and posting ......To me this board and all of you are life savers.

[[Mo...]]

Hi guys

I'm still in that desperate fear/anxiety dizzy; sore body; period that won't stop place today.

I guess it is better than it used to be but still horrible. I know I am behind most of you guys but I still feel that this board is where I can come for support and hopefully give some hope.

This fear is so strong I feel like I could die....I just want my life with my guy/ I've waited forever to meet him. 

That thought just fuels my out of control anxiety.  I was screaming out loud into my pillow...it seemed to help a bit.

You guys are all so strong and I pray for all of us and think of you guys a lot.

We will make it.  we will.  This will end.  God we are strong to do this.

Hoping for a window; some relief today for myself and for the rest of you suffering

I love to see how you are looking back and seeing progress even when not having a good day.  Manageable.

Right now I am not there and am white knuckling it through this morning.  :'( Scared. But somehow better than before; not sure how I know this....I just do.

Love you guys. thank you for listening and posting ......To me this board and all of you are life savers.

 

I see you Whoot.  You aren't alone.. I know what you are going thru.  It's so hard, so very hard.  Minute to minute.  Hang in there dear Whoot.  You are not alone.

 

I am just like you.  Before my current husband I was married.  It was a terrible sad 14 years of my life.  Then I met my current husband.  I had the children I have always wanted and the perfect man for me.  All the lost years in my first marriage were given back to me in my 2nd... but here I am suffering.

 

There was nothing wrong in my life when this happened.  I had everything I could have ever wanted but someone, things become too much and here I am recovering from a drug that has hog tied me and made me scream uncle on more then one occasion.  We have to trust the process.  We just have to.

 

Please stand strong.  Know that it will pass.  I will do the same.

 

MommyR

[[Mo...]]

First of all.. Good morning.  Thank you God for the morning and the sun and the activity and business a day brings. 

 

Right now I am ok, but.. last night the crazy train pulled in.. ugh

 

Forget fear, anxiety, panic, depression.. hello crazy.  Anyone else tasting this, but not mentioning it because it SUCKS!!!!!

 

Last night I could feel the apprehension before going to bed.  I had fallen asleep in the afternoon and knew the odds of a deep sleep were minimal.  I woke an after dozing off to spinning racing thoughts.. so fast so fast.. intrusive, morbid.. telling me this was it.  I was going to lose it on this one. God help me.  What is this curse from this medication!!! 

 

I couldn't even see into my mind to calm it because my minds eye had put a wall up.. there was literally a cement wall blocking the view of my minds eye.  I would start to talk in my head and every other word formed into something gruesome.. The only thing I could do was say over and over.. 

 

My mind is covered in the blood of Jesus

I am His property

My God hears and sees and delivers..

 

Over and over I repeated it.  It was like mud in my brain trying to get the words to come together.  My brain felt thick and inflamed.  I was half awake and half asleep nothing knowing which side of things I was on.  My God is was torture.

 

Anyone else have this?  Please say yes.  Do not let me be the only one. 

 

I think a news story triggered it.  It came out of left field.. out of no where! 

 

I woke my husband and we talked.  He said it didn't phase him.  It's more of the same.

 

I  love you all.  I need you today.  Please say it's normal. 

 

MommyR

[[wh...]]

MommyR

That is what I was trying to say in my post.

Last night was a horrible night for me too. Couldn't shut off the fear and dread.  Horrible. That cement wall thing in your brain.....I know what you mean.  My guy just held me and I prayed to God to help me.  It's still with me today but not so all consuming.

Thank you for posting and all your support.  We have to be honest on these boards even if we sound crazy because this is really happening and we have all been there.

We will be OK.  Be strong.  I'm thinking of you and with you in all this right now.

I forgot how far out from tapering you are.  I think we are close.

Love to you.  God won't leave us; we will be better for going through this hell.

[[mr...]]

MommyR,

 

I am at work at the moment, so I need to be brief, but I understand the description of "block" or "wall". You are, of course, not alone.

 

The Lord is your helper; you will not be seized with alarm. Thank you Lord for the blood. Amen.

 

Mrs.

[[Mo...]]

SKY,

 

HAPPY 10 MONTH ANNIVERSARY!!

 

You're two weeks behind me.  This wave does get better.  Hope that's happening for you. 

 

Thanks Green, I am very excited, I posted an update to my progress log about it. I wanted to post something here but that was too much for me, baby steps it is.

 

I think Green meant 11 months.. yes?  Either way congratulations dear Sky.  You  are so strong and amazing to be here with us and to be making it.  You give me strength.

[[Mo...]]

MommyR

That is what I was trying to say in my post.

Last night was a horrible night for me too. Couldn't shut off the fear and dread.  Horrible. That cement wall thing in your brain.....I know what you mean.  My guy just held me and I prayed to God to help me.  It's still with me today but not so all consuming.

Thank you for posting and all your support.  We have to be honest on these boards even if we sound crazy because this is really happening and we have all been there.

We will be OK.  Be strong.  I'm thinking of you and with you in all this right now.

I forgot how far out from tapering you are.  I think we are close.

Love to you.  God won't leave us; we will be better for going through this hell.

 

I am 10.5 months..  The wall in my mind has never happened before.  Thank you for reaching out.  It's so wretched this process.. so very wretched, yet we are not dying and have glorious lives ahead of us.  I wanted to be chained up last night incase I turned into a werewolf.  I my gosh.. but I made it.. it was only in knowing God saw my situation and would somehow not allow things to progress.

 

Thank yo Whoot.. No he won't leave us, but the demons screaming at the top of their lungs have me visiting the valley of the shadow of death again.  I really didn't think I would be visiting again.  My ears are full of pressure. 

 

Okay.. I am going to get about my day.  Thank you again. 

[[Sk...]]

Mommy, I am so sorry.

 

I know what you mean, you did very welll in telling us, it is scary, very scary and talking about it, writing about it  helps beat some of the fear.

Unfortunately, I have had  a lot of this and it had almost become a part of my sleeping routine. Mr Sky would be promptly woken up or I would simply scream, scream, scream.

 

MAy I suggest you stay away from the news as much as possible ? If your husband has to watch it, change rooms. We have to limit negative images for our brain to feed on as much as possible. We can't do much but we can decide on what to watch.

 

Whoot, sorry to hear you are going through so much. You are right,venting here helps incredibly. Sometimes, just seeing a fear on paper helps create that distance we need to be less scared.

 

Allison, Sasquatch, I f eel the terror in your words, I am so sorry for what is happening.

 

About food Mommy and Green gave some very good suggestions.

 

A big hug.

[[Mo...]]

MommyR,

 

I am at work at the moment, so I need to be brief, but I understand the description of "block" or "wall". You are, of course, not alone.

 

The Lord is your helper; you will not be seized with alarm. Thank you Lord for the blood. Amen.

 

Mrs.

 

I have never had that block before..never.. it was frightening.  The thoughts.. my God.  Yes, the Lord is my helper.  I must go forward in my day.  It's over now.  In Jesus name.. I am covered. 

Thank you dear Mrs..

[[Mo...]]

Mommy, I am so sorry.

 

I know what you mean, you did very welll in telling us, it is scary, very scary and talking about it, writing about it  helps beat some of the fear.

Unfortunately, I have had  a lot of this and it had almost become a part of my sleeping routine. Mr Sky would be promptly woken up or I would simply scream, scream, scream.

 

MAy I suggest you stay away from the news as much as possible ? If your husband has to watch it, change rooms. We have to limit negative images for our brain to feed on as much as possible. We can't do much but we can decide on what to watch.

 

Whoot, sorry to hear you are going through so much. You are right,venting here helps incredibly. Sometimes, just seeing a fear on paper helps create that distance we need to be less scared.

 

Allison, Sasquatch, I f eel the terror in your words, I am so sorry for what is happening.

 

About food Mommy and Green gave some very good suggestions.

 

A big hug.

 

Yes, will keep the tv off today.  Thank you for validation.. scream scream scream.. Yes... My God.. I am so sorry for each of us.  I am so sorry we have to walk this path.  To taste of chronic pain, depression, anxiety, insanity.. the very taste of it is like a putrid stench I can't wash out of off. 

 

I'm sorry guys.  Right now I am ok.  It's not on me know, just the stench of it.  I am going to go about my day now.  Praying for each of us.  Believing and trusting we are on the way out.  We are going to be like LostDog and amaze people at our progress and how we lived thru it. 

 

Hugs Sky,

MommyR

[[Sk...]]

Mommy, I really am so sorry that this far out you have to go through something so scary. Virtual hugs to fight the fear. You have so much love in your life, it is helping you so much. But some things, we still have to face alone and it is horrible.

 

A big hug.

[[Mo...]]

Mommy, I really am so sorry that this far out you have to go through something so scary. Virtual hugs to fight the fear. You have so much love in your life, it is helping you so much. But some things, we still have to face alone and it is horrible.

 

A big hug.

 

You guys are all so amazing.  Thank you again Sky.  Yes, somethings we face on our own..  My heart is with you all. 

[[sa...]]

Mommy - The fear is one of the worst symptoms. That fact that life can seem so scary and meaningless is in itself terrifying. The mind is so convincing when we are in this wave state. I for one have never known fear like this. Best to keep the mind busy on something else. I still can't read much as my mind is all over the place. Movies are good, youtube inspirational videos, listening to music. Good to have in the background to keep the mind from latching on to anything.

 

Sounds like everyone is doing bad today. I hope we all pull out of this soon. It is truly too much to ask to have us suffer like this for so long. Praying for all...

[[wh...]]

Guys I am trying today but I can't stop the fear/dread anxiety.  I can't enjoy anything because of it.

I can't see anything good.  I'm so scared.  Need reassureance that this is withdrawal and it will end.

Always need reassurance.  I feel so stupid.

[[al...]]

Hi, I wanted to ask another question about weight loss. I am afraid to eat anything except vegetables due to fear of setting off a wave. I know we are all different but may I ask, what do you folks eat? (I got some Ensure plus today but I am afraid to try it).

[[mr...]]

Hi, I wanted to ask another question about weight loss. I am afraid to eat anything except vegetables due to fear of setting off a wave. I know we are all different but may I ask, what do you folks eat? (I got some Ensure plus today but I am afraid to try it).

 

Hi Ali,

 

I eat lots of the following:

 

Fish, chicken, raw & cooked vegetables, soymilk, yogurt, plain oatmeal (no sugars, etc), Ezekiel brand bread, sunflower seed butter, lots of nuts like almonds and soynuts, Terra brand sweet potato chips no salt added, gluten free muesli, bran flakes, rice, quinoa, squash, etc.

 

I do drink a meal replacement shake also, but I am rather picky with its contents so I spend a little more on it. It is Nutrilite's BodyKey meal replacement shakes sweetened with stevia. Works well for me.

 

If its a day where I need help with calories, I eat more of the nuts and nut/seed butters, add butter to everything, etc. I've heard/read also that dairy fat is especially helpful in weight gain.

 

You're moving right along, hooray! This is temporary It is passing as we speak! Amen.

 

Mrs.