6-12 month thread....

[[dr...]]

I try and eat only grass fed or organic meats.  I eat nuts, full fat yogurt, and veggies.  I eat no processed food and stay away from soy, oatmeal, msg, and some of the protein powders as they all set me off in a glutamate storm.

[[mr...]]

It is a quiet forum this evening, so I thought I'd stop by and break the silence!

 

(Better to break silence than to break wind, eh?! Eh?! )

 

Today I received a message from another buddy who had been gone from the forum for quite a long time (a couple years or so). Their last posts were at 15 months out, and they were dealing with lots of symptoms: lots of anxiety, cog fog, depression, palpitations, etc etc etc, y'all know the list...

 

Today, they are doing absolutely GREAT! No anxiety, panic, fear, cog-fog, depression, etc ALL GONE! The only thing they mentioned was a very slight fog when under very large amounts of stress, which is incredibly rare. They said they still eat healthy, exercise healthy, etc, valuing the good health they have! I asked them if I could share this info with others here, as I thought it would be very encouraging As soon as they reply back and let me know if its OK, I will share their PM with you & their last couple posts from a couple years back For those in the 12-15-18 month range, you will LOVE it!!

 

Also, another buddy who suffered lots of anxiety, panic, fear, fatigue, depression, etc as far out as 18 months, PMed me a couple weeks ago. They are now in the 22-24 month range (if I'm remembering correctly) and said they are seeing major and rapid improvements daily! Too cool.

 

Bottom line: no matter what happens along the way, we ABSOLUTELY will heal. Both of these buddies have not posted a success story, not because they don't care, but because they just got on with their lives and didn't really think of it Life got good, and they got bust enjoying it

 

How cool is that? I plan Ob posting a success story for sure, but I tell ya what -- I'm looking forward to the day where I "almost forget to post a success story because life is that good and I'm that engaged in it"!!

 

Love to you all. Our healing us absolutely manifesting, absolutely every day in every way Amen!!

 

Mrs.

[[pe...]]

Thank you, Mrs.  Your post is very helpful to me as I sit here wondering why things are still hard at 8.5 months out. It sounds like I have a ways to go but much reward when I make it.

 

Thank you,

Peace2

[[wh...]]

Thank you Mrslaw

Needed that badly today.

Thanks for the light. Hope you had a good day.

[[No...]]

Hi ... thanks for the post Mrs ... the more reassurance I get the better ...

 

Today was and still is very rough ... surges ... anxiety ... stomach stuff ... nerve firings ... the head pressure ... all the usual culprits for me ...

 

What I find very frustrating is the surge of something just as I am nodding off ... also a background surge maybe a few minutes before I nod off ...

 

Feels likes a combination of things ... breathing disruption, the inner vibrations, and some sort of chemical dumping ... not new for me, and many others have describe the same type of events ...

 

Very frustrating ... very stressful ...

 

 

[[wh...]]

http://www.rlcure.com/glutamate2.html

Hi Nova

Sorry to hear you are having a rough time.  The above article helped me with the surges and restlessness. 

Magnesium Taurate worked great for me.

Love to you bud.  Feel better. We all are here with you and love you.

[[No...]]

Peace ... yeah ... why is this still hard ... sorry, don't know ... so not looking forward to another winter of this ... oh well, it will break for us someday ...

[[No...]]

Hi Whoot ... yeah ... this is just another dance of the chemical healing stuff ... I am so sensitive to stuff that I am chicken to try anything but my two teas ...

 

How are you doing ... sounds like you had another rough time today ...

[[pe...]]

Nova- I wrote myself a story that ended with me feeling better by now. Turns out it's not a choose your own adventure, after all. I've been trying to feel good in the days instead of merely getting through them. I have to spend some time doing some of the later for a bit. My job is to survive first, job and all else second.  I'm sorry you're getting a symphony of symptoms this far out. Thinking of you.

 

Peace2

[[No...]]

Peace ... yes ... me first ... and I have been fortunate in not having to struggle with many "outside" things ... I sort of "retired" into this process ...

 

Finding some serenity in each day is precious ... for me that often means just accepting what is going on right now ... other times are almost like little celebrations ... and I sometimes even reach the joy threshold ...

 

I willingly signed on for this adventure ... and have been able to keep my promise to myself of no more drugs ... and I accepted that this part of the trip could last at least 18 months after tapering ...

 

And I sure wish it was quicker ... and we are all allowed to feel frustrated, tired and confused sometimes ...

[[pe...]]

I hear you, Nova. I'm ok with frustrated, tired and confused. It's suicidal I try not to mess around with. I had a real taste of it during my taper and am always hyper vigilant when depression starts lurking about. I think I'm safely out of those rough waters. That is my sincerest hope, anyway.

 

Love,

Peace

[[wh...]]

Hi Nova Peace et al;

Yes another trip to hell for me but tonight I am better

I've been reading a lot and you guys are doing well considering they are saying it can take up to and even beyond 2 years for some of the symptoms.  Now that it is being recognized something may be made available to all of us that will help.  Even my doctor who was adamant that my anxiety (that's a lame word for it hey)  couldn't be related to benzos has changed her tune.  Hmmmm.

Love you guys.  Here's to a better day tomorrow.

 

 

[[je...]]

Hi ... thanks for the post Mrs ... the more reassurance I get the better ...

 

Today was and still is very rough ... surges ... anxiety ... stomach stuff ... nerve firings ... the head pressure ... all the usual culprits for me ...

 

What I find very frustrating is the surge of something just as I am nodding off ... also a background surge maybe a few minutes before I nod off ...

 

Feels likes a combination of things ... breathing disruption, the inner vibrations, and some sort of chemical dumping ... not new for me, and many others have describe the same type of events ...

 

Very frustrating ... very stressful ...

 

Nova. I get that same surge when I try to fall asleep. Its horrible. Feel better my friend jenny

[[Sk...]]

Hello everybody, I am trying to write this before my brain shuts down again !

 

Sorry for all the suffering here on the board. Peace, my thoughts are with you.

 

I had a nice m orning for my tenth month anniversary, the sun was shining, it was a lovely day and I was there to appreciate it. I could even type better !!! 

 

Then, at lunchtime I started getting some head pressure and was very cautious. I tried to relax, didn't do anything too challlenging for my poor shocked, startled brain but it still got worse because these things are part of wd and have to happen.

 

The head pressure got so bad, I kept thinking about Coop,was it, that had it for so long every day ? Anyway I thought about you buddies that have had this symptom so much more.

 

THen, my mom called for her daily chat. She told me she had met my cousin, he had started talking to her, she had had no idea of who he was, and then suddenly she realized. She was a little upset, of course.

 

She has always been forgetful, and she does not have an eye for people's faces. But that does really nothing to explain what happened. She needed to be reassured.

I cannot go to check personally, she is in the south of Italy and I cannot travel, I just don't have the money yet for the trip. I haven't seen her in almost a  year.

And she tellls me the dog and cat are behaving strangely like they did when I was in the hospital. I have this feeling things have gotten a little oout of hand without me there to encourage her.

 

SO, I was really very sick all night, my legs got stiff, my eyes got worse, nausea the whole band.

 

Today, I will have to contact an idiot relative who has not called me once in 11 months to see how I am. I will have to ask her to look into my mother, who has always treated her like a daughter.

 

Sorry, for venting, but clearrly this is having an effect on me and I had to explain.

 

Wish you all well, here it is 9 in the morning.

[[No...]]

Hi Folks ... thanks for the encouragement ... it is so reassuring to know I am not alone in this ...

 

This wave is not a "setback" .... I keep telling myself that over and over and over ... this is what it is "today" ... I have been off and on sick for something like three weeks now ... with periods of relief every so often ...

 

There is nothing to "blame" this on ... I can only name this as more healing ...

 

And I have been in a place of no relief for about 24 hours now ... I did receive a few snatches of broken sleep last night, maybe a couple of hours ... so that is some relief I guess ...

 

And it is all physical ... much like a dose of benzo "flu" ... all my physical symptoms parading around again ... looping around and around ...

 

I am not in "distress" ... I am probably not even "confused" ... and I am grounded ... I have much more resilience, experience and support than I had during these storms of many months ago ...

 

I suppose my "mood" is "resigned" ... each and every one of these storms has always relented or perhaps "completed" their cycle ... this morning "waiting out" another one ...

 

[[No...]]

Hi Sky ... good morning ... 4:30 in the morning here ... can't seem to write much more this morning ...

 

Hoping today is better for all of us ...

[[No...]]

WORD FOR THE DAY

 

Tuesday, Sep. 30

 

Hope is like a road in the country: there was never a road, but when many people walk on it, the road comes into existence.

 

Lin Yutang

 

[[ga...]]

I have been off the boards for a few days.  I am sorry to see so many of you having a difficult time.  Remember, this too shall pass!

 

Well, I can bring a bit of good news regarding my sleep the past few days as I sit here at 5 a.m. typing.  I find that there has been some improvement in my sleeping.  Some nights 5 hours which is pretty darn good for me.  Still broken sleep but at least sleep.  Also, I have not used any sleeping aid which is huge for me.  Over twenty years since I've gone this long without taking meds of any kind.  It's still one day at a time.  Have to admit I am feeling somewhat better overall and I'm sure the sleep is helping.

 

Still have to wait on the stress test, echocardiogram at the end of October.  That along with waiting for results from an ultra sound my wife is having  on her one remaining ovary.  Having been through melanoma and breast cancer I find I get nervous awaiting the results.  She has the unique ability to not worry until there is something to worry about.

 

Anyhow, I wish nothing but better days ahead for all who are still dealing with these miserable symptoms.  Just keep grinding your way through.  We know from past experience there are better days ahead.

[[pe...]]

Garton,

I appreciate reading your good news today. It brings so much hope that after 20 years on meds, you are braving the unknown of unmedicated sleep and seeing some results. What a wonderful gift. I'm sorry you are feeling some stress around the health tests for you and your wife. My husband has the same ability not to worry unless there is clearly something to worry about. I think it's true that those non-worriers wind up with us worrying types for a reason.

 

I hope all the tests come back clear and you are able to enjoy all the good sleep sure to come your way.

 

Peace2

[[ga...]]

Thanks so much for your response Peace.  Amazing how that us worriers end up with partners who are the polar opposites.  Opposites do attract!

 

I have followed your posts and am hoping you turn a corner before too long.  I know how difficult it is to have to go to work feeling the way you do.  Been there, done that and am continuing to push though it.  You have a real challenge in having to deal with kids in a classroom environment.  You have to do what you have to do...and I am sure you will find your way through it in the end.  "Peace" be with you in the days ahead.  Things will get better.  Your patience is being tested once again.  Hang in there!

[[Sk...]]

I have been off the boards for a few days.  I am sorry to see so many of you having a difficult time.  Remember, this too shall pass!

 

Well, I can bring a bit of good news regarding my sleep the past few days as I sit here at 5 a.m. typing.  I find that there has been some improvement in my sleeping.  Some nights 5 hours which is pretty darn good for me.  Still broken sleep but at least sleep.  Also, I have not used any sleeping aid which is huge for me.  Over twenty years since I've gone this long without taking meds of any kind.  It's still one day at a time.  Have to admit I am feeling somewhat better overall and I'm sure the sleep is helping.

 

Still have to wait on the stress test, echocardiogram at the end of October.  That along with waiting for results from some test my wife is in the process of having.  Today and ultra sound of her one remaining ovary.  Having been through melanoma and breast cancer I find I get nervous awaiting the results.  She has the unique ability to not worry until there is something to worry about.

 

Anyhow, I wish nothing but better days ahead for all who are still dealing with these miserable symptoms.  Just keep grinding your way through.  We know from past experience there are better days ahead.

 

Garton, so glad to hear there have been some improvements ! From the way you are writing, these improvements are obvious, there has been a change in your posts.

 

About worriers coupling with non  worriers, I have a pet theory. When mr Sky is worried, it used to be his role, before, I don't worry. It is almost as if I thought, " Ok, he is taking care of that !"

 

But, is something didn't worry him, usually, in normal life, I think about it ! Absurd, right ?

 

Now, everything has changed and worry is this invisible weight to carry. There are no rules, there is just this fear, this concern and I am here looking for a focus  for it.

 

Can't wait to have that behind me.

 

My period has started and that, might explain part of this nightmare.

 

Palps, head pressure, vibrations.

 

So, this should last for about a week till the period is over but, all in all, I am calculating that it has been a months of this to and fro. It has been as if the waves outnumbered the "calm" moments.

 

I hope that means something good in the long run !

 

Have a better day everyone.

[[je...]]

Sky-- congratulations on 10 months off!!

 

Garton-- I'm so glad to hear your doing better! You can count me in as one who is married to a non worrier too. I get so jealous and irritated that he is always calm as a cucumber while I'm freaking out, but yes I do think we balance each other out.

Peace-- how are you feeling?

 

[[sa...]]

Bad Morning. Just got my son on the bus an then started vomiting. That kept up for about an hour. I'm so beaten.  I just can't control the vomiting. I have tried Zophran, Composene, and ginger. Nothing helps. It feels like it's more from the head(gag kindof thing).

 

Fear is horrible today as is the ringing. I'm so bummed about where I am at 10 months off. I feel like this has been my worst month in the last 6. How can this be. These waves should be getting less and less but they are still so strong. This wave is now 8 days long. I was getting 2-3 days waves 2-3 times a month until this. I am so scared I'll be a 2-3 year recovery. I can't do that. Why won't God help me!

 

I just started back to work this month. They are letting me work from home, which is nice, but I am having a hard time. I can't concentrate to read more than a paragraph. Skin is crawling. I'm pacing the house all day. I can't keep this up. The intensity of these symptom is horrible torture. I feel so scared.

[[Co...]]

Peace..Sky...Sas...Nova..Whoot...Mommy ...and everyone else in a wave....my heart is with you.

.....This is such a tough road. I truly believe that we are all going to heal. I had my worst wave in month 9.5-10.5..and 8 was no picnic. ...In a wave I can not talk myself into connecting with my windows or positivity the best I can do in a wave is endure and distract distract distract. The only time I didn't think a wave would end was month 9.5-10.5...

....I have been off the thread for a few days because I have been in a three day window and my head pressure s/x are so so much better ( knock on wood). I didn't want to post how good I am feeling right now while so many are suffering so much. However.  I want to pass along some encouragement if I can...At month 11 I am seeing a baseline of 85-90% ...in a window 00-100%. These past 3/4 days I am cycling between baseline and window. Some mild anxiety ..a few mild headaches in the morning...moments of transient fleeting light depression. I am not pushing myself to ' get out there ' because I am afraid of a set back. I am going softly through this good patch. I am anticipating more waves and another year of healing,  but this is the longest stretch of improvement I have had in 11 months.

....I want to share this because I amhoping this will be some littlecbit of reassurance to all of those in the last 3 months of year one. It seem to be true that there is a killer wave late in year one followed by a jump up in the baseline. I hope this holds for all of us.

....I am holding all of you in my heart ....things are going to get better.  I honestly believe it is just ' getting through ' in any way that you can.. from wave to window.  to baseline.  to wave ..window..cycling.  baseline.  Repeat...Repeat Repeat until done. Others have found bigger and better tools in their tool kit but for me.  Acceptance had been my best help... and it took me 9 months to learn even moments of acceptance...and in a bad wave it is nearly impossible . I am also gaurding my health obsessivly.  .No processed foods...no sugar ( once in awhile a little dark chocolate).  No alcohol...decaf ..tons of fruit/veggies...a green smoothie every morning.  No supplements,  herbals,  vitamins or homeopathaics. Excedrin for headaches and I am now off proprnolol ( keep one with me for panic possibility). I have experimented along the way with several supplements,  vitamins,  homeopathics,  and herbal formulas...they all either provided no relief or made things worse. However if you go to the " other medications " and " alternative medication " threads you will find comments regarding most of the common alternatives and adjunct meds.

....We are ALL going to heal. ...We are all nearly to one year...I next year will be ' our ' year....love to every one of you...sending wishes for a better day today....coop

[[wh...]]

"Now, everything has changed and worry is this invisible weight to carry. There are no rules, there is just this fear, this concern and I am here looking for a focus  for it."  Sky :  this puts it into to words so well.

Constant anxiety, worry with no reason; so your brain is putting a reason for it to even the simplest, everyday things.

 

Garton; glad you are sleeping better.

Sasquatch; Sorry about the symptoms but I think we have to accept that this is going to take a while.

I know it seems insurmountable; it does to me too....one day at a time. We are here with you.

I myself have my period; dizziness; fear; dread; vibrations......you know.  I'm going to act as normal as I can today though.  I have to.