An experience like no other

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Thank you PJ.

My abdominal pain is not gone but definitely better and not as bothersome.  I know I am healing!

 

I told my husband the other day that my mental symptoms are so much better.  It is as if I can feel in Colors.  My emotions feel pure and authentic and beautiful. I do not even mind when I am sad because it is such a pure and natural emotion.  I no longer have the benzo induced chemical emotions and I laugh with my children once again!  No more faking happiness or putting on my game face.  Yippee. I can feel again!

 

I too pray for healing for all victimized by these meds.

 

Thanks again for your support.  Is that your horse in your avatar?

 

 

Hi again, sarafina

 

It sounds like you are doing fantastic.  To be able to feel, and to have emotions again that are a reflection of the real you has to be a wonderful, joyful experience.  To laugh with your children again; that's priceless.  I am sincerely happy for you.

 

No, the horse in my avatar is not mine, but is a spitting image of a little Paint that I had when I boarded with a ranch family during my High School years.  When I retire, and have more free time, I want to get me another Paint or maybe an Appaloosa.

 

Wishing you and yours, all the best that life has to offer.

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hii pj, plz give me ur experience answering my post in this page http://www.benzobuddies.org/forum/index.php?topic=64789.0

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hii pj, plz give me ur experience answering my post in this page http://www.benzobuddies.org/forum/index.php?topic=64789.0

 

hoda, I responded to your post.

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thx pj , idid read it u always help, iam not gonna keep reading negative couz thats not help.

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Hi hoda,

 

Are you feeling better today?  It is probably a good idea that you don't read too many negative posts, because before we are healed, our minds tend to convince us that all is gloom and doom, and we will never heal.  We don't want to think that way, but the Benzodiazepines have changed the way we perceive things, and as you know it can take a long time before we start to think rational again.

 

I completely understand why some folks are madder than a fire ant, considering all they have been through because of benzos.  Believe me, there were times when I would get madder than a mosquito in a mannequin factory when it was taking so long for me to recover.

 

 

 

 

 

 

[[sa...]]

Hi hoda,

 

Are you feeling better today?  It is probably a good idea that you don't read too many negative posts, because before we are healed, our minds tend to convince us that all is gloom and doom, and we will never heal.  We don't want to think that way, but the Benzodiazepines have changed the way we perceive things, and as you know it can take a long time before we start to think rational again.

 

I completely understand why some folks are madder than a fire ant, considering all they have been through because of benzos.  Believe me, there were times when I would get fmadder than a mosquito in a mannequin factory when it was taking so long for me to recover.

 

 

That is one very angry mosquito!  Hes hee

 

 

 

 

 

[[Tu...]]

Just read your post PJ and I'd like to say thanks. It has cheered me up this morning and made me more hopefull of a positive recovery. I'm almost 9 months out and sometimes I wonder and struggle to believe I will heal. Your post has given me a lift, so powerful and well written.

Best of Luck

TukTuk

And Thanks 

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Hi hoda,

 

Are you feeling better today?  It is probably a good idea that you don't read too many negative posts, because before we are healed, our minds tend to convince us that all is gloom and doom, and we will never heal.  We don't want to think that way, but the Benzodiazepines have changed the way we perceive things, and as you know it can take a long time before we start to think rational again.

 

I completely understand why some folks are madder than a fire ant, considering all they have been through because of benzos.  Believe me, there were times when I would get fmadder than a mosquito in a mannequin factory when it was taking so long for me to recover.

 

 

That is one very angry mosquito!  Hes hee

 

 

 

 

 

 

Ya, sarafina...very angry...very confused...and probably very hungry   Only the female mosquitos bite us

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Just read your post PJ and I'd like to say thanks. It has cheered me up this morning and made me more hopefull of a positive recovery. I'm almost 9 months out and sometimes I wonder and struggle to believe I will heal. Your post has given me a lift, so powerful and well written.

Best of Luck

TukTuk

And Thanks 

 

Hi Tuk,

 

Thank you, and the best of luck to you too.  Thinking thoughts that we will never heal are hard to overcome, especially if we have been dealing with withdrawals for many, many months.  But, it does happen, in the most unusual way...one day, we wake up, and as if by some magical intervention, the dark clouds have all floated away.

 

Take care,

 

pj 

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hii pj , iam still doin good just little sensitiveness from the light so little not like before at all .

[[tu...]]

Here's to "dark clouds floating away"    I can't wait until it happens to me PJ.  Thanks for your support.

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hii pj , iam still doin good just little sensitiveness from the light so little not like before at all .

 

Hi hoda,

 

The sensitivity to light bothered me for a long time also, but like all the other symptoms, that one disappeared too.  You take care now, and enjoy life to the fullest.

 

pj

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Here's to "dark clouds floating away"    I can't wait until it happens to me PJ.  Thanks for your support.

 

Get your sunglasses ready ... cause when those dark clouds float on by and your sky turns to blue again ... that old sun is going to shine like never before. 

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pj, my ear since i stopped the benzo always closing like iam in airplane ana pop when i drink is that normal in the symptom's?

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hoda, I used to get a lot of ear popping, plugged ears, and sinus like symptoms; I think these are all normal withdrawal symptoms, but if your ears are painful or are draining, it is best to see a doctor.

 

Good luck to you.

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no its just plunging ear and pop thats it idid check with  dr didnt found nothing, man right now iam in bad wave iwas ok all the day but now night time ihave the bad thought about iwill be like that always ikeep telling my self uwill not it just benzo  plus start getting little fear from that with my anxiety uknow my stomach muscles so tide like some body sit on it so bother my breathing iwas praying to found u or any one of r friends here ,

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It's the benzos talking, hoda ... trust me, you will totally heal one day.  Your anxiety is kicking up because you are worried that you will never be okay again...but you will...you really will.  I am sorry that you are in a wave, try to relax, you will get another window.

 

Hang in there, buddy.

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pj, thx buddy udont have enough support in my home so thats why i always bother you , did u have experience about this tide in ur stomach muscles like something really heay igot that from the stress inever hade all my life igot it last year before itooke the benzo with 1 week but the benzo made ie high , thats why istart think iwill have that all my life and start have the scary feeling with depressing around me like every thing getting dark

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Hoda, you're not bothering me at all.  It's too bad you don't have a lot of support at home, that makes it tough to cope.  Sometimes, when we take a benzo for anxiety, it makes the anxiety worse after awhile.  Would you like to start you own blog?  You can talk to many people on your blog.  You can talk about what is bothering you, your likes and dislikes or whatever you want to.

 

Here's a link if you want to start one. http://www.benzobuddies.org/forum/index.php?board=88.0...just click on New topic.

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pj, thank you  my friend but explain to me what ican do in this blog iam kinda not familiar  with it u mean write my story from the beginning ?

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pj, thank you  my friend but explain to me what ican do in this blog iam kinda not familiar  with it u mean write my story from the beginning ?

 

Just write whatever you feel comfortable with saying.  People will read it, and start posting to you, and you can post on other peoples blog.  There are many really nice people on the blogs.  In the subject line,  you can call your blog whatever you want.  You can just call it Hoda's blog...if you want to. 

 

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thx pj , imade one call my story through 6 months off , ur good friend

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To all you wonderful folks who are struggling so mightily to get your life back:

 

I wrote my success story on April1st ... 'April Fool's Day' ... In the back of my mind, I was hoping that I wasn't fooling myself into believing that I was indeed completely healed, and was a little concerned, that, like what occassionaly has happened to others, some of my symptoms would come back to haunt me.   

 

It has been almost six months since I posted my story, and thankfully, none of the those nasty symptoms have returned.  So, without a doubt, I can say that total, complete, and lasting healing did happen for me, and I believe with all my heart, that it will happen for you too.   

 

If you feel like you could play the part of a Zombie in "Night of the Living Dead."  If it's eighty degrees in your house and you're wearing a winter jacket because you are freezing.  If you lack the motivation, or strength to bend over to tie your shoes.  If, when looking in a mirror, you are scared by the person with the red eyes, and twitching eyelids staring back at you ... don't give up...don't despair; keep on fighting, keep on believing that you will get your life back...because you will.  And when you do, it will be sweeter than you could ever have imagined that it would be.  Your once upon a time, muddled and confused mind, will become as clear, and crisp as an Autumn day.

 

pj   

[[sa...]]

Beautiful post PJ!!!!!!!

Thank you

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Thank you sarafina,

 

I hope all is going well with you, and you are enjoying the transition from summer to fall.  Autumn has always been my favorite time of the year.  Seeing the leaves change color, watching the little kids as they search for the perfect pumpkin to carve, visiting an apple orchard...and of course Halloween, are just a few of the things that I like about Fall.