Sleep Quality Tracker started by Antibenzo7

[[He...]]

Andros,

 

I totally understand that perspective. I can actually function when I get 4+ hours of sleep and prior to tapering, I thought that was a bad night. One of my first posts on BB was complaining because I 'only' got 5 hours of broken sleep. Last night, I got 5 to 6 hours of broken sleep and I feel pretty good! It certainly beats a zero!

[[ni...]]

Hi all,

last night was maybe two hours.  I'm going to deal with some things that need to off of my shoulders today.

I also took four vitamin D yesterday and think that messed with my sleep.

My thoughts went to lack of sleep hastening my demise. It is easy to go there when I'm heading into four years benzos free and so little sleep since then, plus the 9 months of tapering off, my sleep was little and none.

So what's going on with my sleep not returning. I suppose dealing with a husband who has Alzheimer's, wondering how I am going to take over my mother's farm home when she is gone. She'll be 102 in December and still lives alone on the farm where I grew up.  The home/farm was built in 1865 by my Swedish immigrant great great grandparents.  My parent's did a major remodel in 1970, then my dad died suddenly in 1971 and very little has been done concerning remodeling since then.  Mother added siding, has replaced the roof on over the years, kept the barn painted and roofed. But anything inside the home is pretty much the way it was when my dad died.

My sister asked our mother to amend the trust and the house and 17 acres everything sits on goes to me.  The farm land remains shared.

So, I'll get a farm home that needs a lot done and I'm six hundred miles away.  It is going to be a daunting task when the time comes. I'll be dealing with losing my last parent and cleaning out a home full of stuff from four generations back. Then there is the fix up to make it a good place to stay when I go home.

Uff

 

[[Tr...]]

HI Nightengale,

 

So sorry your sleep was that bad again. I feel for you!

 

Reading your post one can only be impressed by how well you've managed and still do.

When sleep doesn't come, minds start to wander off in all kinds of directions, but mostly not in good ones. Bad things, things beyond our control, lots  of what-ifs and more doom and gloom issues enter our tired minds. When this happens the last small hope that sleep will come, goes out the window. Nobody wants to have this happen, but it does.

 

I totally get why the things you mentioned get you upset, worried and down. The only thing that can be done is somehow try to find distraction from those dark thoughts. Sounds easy, isn't easy!

 

I hope and pray you'll keep finding strenght and courage. In fact I know you shall! You're a wonderful inspiration to us all, to me anyway!

 

Hopefully your day is going to be a nice and enjoyable one.

 

Your benzo buddy, Trochsetter.

 

Btw the name means: s(he) who keeps on going, who doesn't give up. Pehaps you should have my name ...

 

Hug. X X

 

 

[[An...]]

Hi all,

last night was maybe two hours.  I'm going to deal with some things that need to off of my shoulders today.

I also took four vitamin D yesterday and think that messed with my sleep.

My thoughts went to lack of sleep hastening my demise. It is easy to go there when I'm heading into four years benzos free and so little sleep since then, plus the 9 months of tapering off, my sleep was little and none.

So what's going on with my sleep not returning. I suppose dealing with a husband who has Alzheimer's, wondering how I am going to take over my mother's farm home when she is gone. She'll be 102 in December and still lives alone on the farm where I grew up.  The home/farm was built in 1865 by my Swedish immigrant great great grandparents.  My parent's did a major remodel in 1970, then my dad died suddenly in 1971 and very little has been done concerning remodeling since then.  Mother added siding, has replaced the roof on over the years, kept the barn painted and roofed. But anything inside the home is pretty much the way it was when my dad died.

My sister asked our mother to amend the trust and the house and 17 acres everything sits on goes to me.  The farm land remains shared.

So, I'll get a farm home that needs a lot done and I'm six hundred miles away.  It is going to be a daunting task when the time comes. I'll be dealing with losing my last parent and cleaning out a home full of stuff from four generations back. Then there is the fix up to make it a good place to stay when I go home.

Uff

 

Wow, that is a lot of stuff to think about and deal with. Your mother is 102, wow again! Most of us are lucky if we make it to the 8th decade of life. Is your mother still completely independent at 102 years old? She can't drive, can she? I am so sorry that sleep has been so elusive for you nightengale. Have you always had issues sleeping or did this start getting really bad after detoxing benzos? Or, were you initially put on benzos for sleep problems? I don't know your backstory.

[[He...]]

NG,

 

My sleep wasn't much better. Last night was about 3 hours. The night before was 2 and the night before was 1. It's been several nights since I had 5 hours of sleep. I had two in a row last week and it was so nice. It's been even longer, like 8 or 9 days, since I had 7 to 8 hours of sleep. I am talking to someone about a new job and I need to be sleeping to function!

 

I'll keep you in my prayers. Can you keep me in yours?

 

Everybody else; wishing you good sleep every night and a great day today.

 

XO

HM

[[Tr...]]

Hello HM,

 

Sorry your sleep is bad again.  Hope tonight sleep is going to an 8- hours one !!

 

You and NG are both wonderful in how you deal with insomnia.

 

Wishing you a splendid time today !

 

Stay strong and safe!

 

Trochsetter

[[An...]]

@[ H...]

 

Did you start benzos for sleep problems?

[[He...]]

AB,

 

I started benzo's for anxiety and sleep too. Before I ever had anxiety on this scale, I could sleep, on my own, for 8 or 9 hours. I could fall asleep in less than 10 minutes and sleep like a log. I am hoping and praying that those days come back. I have had at least 10 to 12; 7 and 8 hour nights in the last couple months so I hope that is a good sign. I miss the days of sleeping EVERY night.

 

Last night was my third night in a row of 0 to 3 hours of sleep. I had two 5-hour nights before that.

 

HM

[[Tr...]]

 

 

Hello folks,

 

Hope you all had better sleep.

 

Mine is ok, but still have weird dreams every other night or so.

 

So the eye-doctor this morning.  The inflammation is back. Eye pressure perfect. But that's about it...Left eye is back to normal. But have to take more meds for the next 3 weeks. Followed by a scan with contrasting fluit, to have a closer look at my retina. These meds give me headache and out-of-the blue fatigue. Not much fun. But it's all for the higher good, right?

 

Autumnal weather from later tonight. Rain, wind, lower temps. Oh well, it's that time of the year.

 

I hope you're all doing OK today.

 

Sleep tight tonight.

 

Trochsetter

[[Tr...]]

 

 

Hello folks,

 

Hope you all had better sleep.

 

Mine is OK, but still have weird dreams every other night or so. I know I shouldn't complain...

 

Saw the eye-doctor this morning.  The inflammation in my right eye is back.

So I have to take the meds again for the next 3 weeks. Followed by a scan with contrasting fluid, to have a closer look at my retina. These meds give me a headache and out-of-the blue fatigue. Not much fun. But it's all for the higher good, right?

 

Autumnal weather from later tonight. Rain, wind, lower temps. Oh well, it's that time of the year.

 

I hope you're all doing OK today.

 

Sleep well tonight!

 

Trochsetter

 

[[Tr...]]

 

 

Hello folks,

 

Hope you all had better sleep.

 

Mine is OK, but I still get those weird dreams every other night or so.

 

So the eye-doctor this morning.  The inflammation is back. Eye pressure perfect. But that's about it...Left eye is back to normal. But have to take more meds for the next 3 weeks. Followed by a scan with contrasting fluit, to have a closer look at my retina. These meds give me headache and out-of-the blue fatigue. Not much fun. But it's all for the higher good, right?

 

Autumnal weather from later tonight. Rain, wind, lower temps. Oh well, it's that time of the year.

 

I hope you're all doing OK today.

 

Sleep tight tonight.

 

Trochsetter

[[He...]]

TS,

 

Sorry your eye is still bothering you. Both of mine quit watering finally. Last night, I got about 2.5 hours of deep sleep. It's been a week since I have had 5+ hours. I hope I get back to that soon. It makes a big difference in how I feel the next day. I haven't had an 8 hour night in about 7 to 10 days. I don't keep a diary, so i don't know exactly.

 

Have a great day:)

 

HM

[[An...]]

HM, do you have trouble falling asleep or staying asleep or both? This may sound crazy but I fall asleep (less than 30 mins) listening to radio podcasts using my iPhone. I have a one hour sleep timer set so the continued sound does not wake me back up.

[[He...]]

AB,

 

I have trouble falling AND staying asleep. I have had a couple nights, in the last 2 months, where I fell asleep within an hour but usually it takes HOURS for me to fall asleep and, when I do, I only sleep for an hour or so before I wake up again. As I said, I used to fall asleep in 10 minutes and sleep all night. That's my baseline. I have a friend that also falls asleep listening to radio podcasts. I usually use ear plugs and a dark room to 'try' and sleep. I like some of the guided meditations on YouTube but commercials come on, ten times louder than the meditation, and wake me up. So I quit doing that.

 

HM

[[An...]]

I have been getting 5-6 hours of sleep lately, but I go to bed at  these really strange hours like start sleep at 6AM and awake by 12 Noon (Ugh 😖).  I hate this. I am going to start going to bed by 11PM every night no matter what.

 

Hope everyone had a pretty good weekend.

[[ni...]]

Hi all, we mostly are doing about the same.

 

TS, glad the pressure in your eyes was good. That's a big plus.  That's not good the eye meds give you headaches and fatigue.  It seems that most meds do have a drawback.

 

My sleep is typical. Nothing new to report.  Maybe one day this will get better.

 

NG

[[Tr...]]

 

 

Hello NG,

 

Glad you're back on the forum! You had me worried after your last post.  Hopefully you're feeling better again.

 

The headaches have gone. The tiredness more or less. Now I'm having some stomach and belly trouble. I hope the meds do their job a

and my eye gets better again.

 

Down to 6 mgs of Paxil. Taking it slowly. 

 

Had my flu- shot yesterday. 

 

Covid-19 numbers strongly going up again. So more restrictions again.

 

Wishing for a pleasant day and wonderful night for you!

 

Take care.

 

Trochsetter

[[ni...]]

Hi TS, glad to hear your headache is gone along with the tiredness. The stomach/belly issues are never any fun.  Wishing you the best results with your eye and the meds you are taking. 

 

Congratulations on tapering down to 6 mgs of Paxil!  You are getting there! Slow and steady wins the race when it comes to medications.

 

That's good you had your flu shot. Same with me last month. Yesterday I had the covid booster shot. Glad that is over with. 

My arm is sore, but otherwise I am doing okay. 

 

The covid numbers are going up here, also.  I now wear a mask when I am in the grocery store or any other place that has a lot of people around.

 

It's been cold and rainy here, but there is a warm up in the forecast.

 

Wishing you good things to come.

NG

 

[[Tr...]]

 

 

Hello nightengale,

 

Thanks for your nice post.

 

I hope you slept well last night.

 

Not much change from this side of the pond neither. We'll have to take things as they are presented to us.

 

We're having typical November weather at the moment: foggy mornings after clear skies at night. Followed by sunshine in the afternoon. I go for shorter bike rides whenever I can, armed with thicker coat and gloves. My sight isn't that great just niw, but I practically know my routes by heart.

 

Have a pleasant Friday.

 

Trochsetter.

 

 

[[He...]]

Hey guys,

 

This is my 6th day of no benzo's. Last night was around 4 to 5 hours, I think. I am due for another 8 hour night. I am job hunting today. I haven't worked in a while and it looks bad on my resume. Wish me luck! I need the money.

 

HM

[[Tr...]]

 

Hi HM 

 

Wonderful news!

 

Best of luck with your job hunt!!

 

Stay strong and keep the faith ! You can do this!

 

Trochsetter

[[ni...]]

HM, I just noticed you jumped! Congratulations!! It is such a milestone. Be proud of how far you have come in this journey.

As the well known German philosopher Friedrich Nietzsche said: That which does not kill us makes us stronger."

Indeed we do become stronger in the battle to set ourselves free of benzos.

 

I wish you the best in your job hunt. Believe in yourself.

 

NG

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[[ni...]]

Good morning, TS, my sleep is better for which I am thankful. Last night I had some strange dreams that seemed like I was awake. 

 

I hope you are doing alright today. How's your sight doing? The bike rides are so refreshing and even better that you know the way by heart. 

 

Our weather has gone from cold and rainy to warm and sunny.  Everything outside has been bedded down for the coming winter, so I can relax and enjoy what's left of fall. We had such a lovely one with the trees changing from green to gold and red.  Typically we have a cold spell that freezes the leaves, which then turn brown and fall off. This year that didn't happen and so the trees brought forth their vivid colors.

 

Take good care of yourself,

NG

[[ni...]]

Good day all,

Fall is slipping away with frost on the ground this morning.  I did enjoy the fall colors while it lasted.

 

My sleep is what it is. uff

Changing back from daylight savings time is a pain and it does mess with my sleep.

 

My right knee has become quite painful. I still am walking and dealing with it.  Lately, I've been doing some PT on that knee hoping to alleviate some of the pain.

 

TS, I hope you are okay during this quiet time.

 

HM, are you on day 11 of being benzo free? I hope you are doing okay, also.

 

NG

 

 

[[Tr...]]

 

 

Hi nightengale,

 

Sorry your knee is giving you issues. Hopefully the PT can lessen it. Good thing still walking and exercising!

 

Autumn is in a quite mode overhere at the moment. Overcast, misty at times. Most leaves have fallen.

 

I hope your sleep is improving again no that the change back to daylight saving time is some days ago.

 

My sleep is OK.  Can't complain.

 

My right eye is still not OK. Eye drops 9 times a day. Having a scan done in 1,5 weeks from now. Until then I have to keep taking the meds.

 

Down to 5 mgs of Paxil since yesterday.

 

Wishing you a nice day!

 

Take good care of yourself!

 

Trochsetter