Under the Rug (Trigger Warning)

[[de...]]

Both of you have just made my day.  So funny.  :laugh:  Thank you.

 

"Lawyer takes Viagra....". That was great. 

 

Dropped to 1mg this morning.  Easier to snap 2mg pills in half than guesstimate half of 2.5mgs from a 5mg pill. 

 

I'm just dry cutting how y'all doing it?  I can't see your sig. from here. 

 

I love you all, and without your wit, humour and friendship, this journey would have been so very lonely.

 

Seriously, I saw some research where people with depression were made to watch hours of comedy and their mood improved. 

 

Didn't see what comedy they were shown, like, if they showed me Benny Hill I'd shoot myself.   

 

Dee

 

 

 

 

 

 

[[We...]]

Benny Hill - there's a blast from the past!  Reminds me of the Monty Python era too.

 

Sounds like you'll have an easy run halving a 2mg Valium.  Does it take a while for the dose cut sx to kick in because of the long half life?  Hope it goes well for you, Dee. 

 

The reason why I jumped was because the jeweler's scale was not behaving itself and I got scared about being up, down and all around with doses.  Trying to get a .5mg down to .120...can't do that trick by eye.  So I just said the heck with it...  (There's an intelligent plan if I ever heard one).

 

Lawyer's creed: A man is innocent until he's proven broke.

 

Mountaintop has grown silent.  That's either really good or really bad.  Maybe we scared her off?  Too many mamma bears. 

 

I was complaining of headaches today...and then my husband reminded me to get out of bed feet first.

 

 

[[Pe...]]

Both of you have just made my day.  So funny.  :laugh:  Thank you.

 

"Lawyer takes Viagra....". That was great. 

 

Dropped to 1mg this morning.  Easier to snap 2mg pills in half than guesstimate half of 2.5mgs from a 5mg pill. 

 

I'm just dry cutting how y'all doing it?  I can't see your sig. from here. 

 

I love you all, and without your wit, humour and friendship, this journey would have been so very lonely.

 

Seriously, I saw some research where people with depression were made to watch hours of comedy and their mood improved. 

 

Didn't see what comedy they were shown, like, if they showed me Benny Hill I'd shoot myself.   

 

Dee

 

Dee, congrats on your cut - i have my signature fingers toes and crunchy knees crossed for your TOTAL success! kick that benzos arse, eh 

 

I am vodka titrating and make my first reduction tonight -.003ml 

Oh boy, not Benny Hill! For my money, for the laughs give me Black Adder 

 

[[mo...]]

I’m here loves just not feeling well when my girly monthly came I was knocked on my arse. I feel anemic so I took some iron this afternoon hoping that will help. Not usually anemic. Never felt like this before. Not in a good way like in romantic songs. Guess I need to hold a while maybe moving too fast.

 

Congrats on your cut Dee so happy for you! And I get it Welchie with the weighing my two scales are finicky I’m never quite sure...

 

Hope glad you’re here.

[[We...]]

mountaintop - I noticed you're clipping along pretty good with your cuts.  You're doing great!!  Congrats!!  Now that the anxiety is going away, I'm getting waves of thorough exhaustion and am taking it as a good sign of healing.  Maybe you've got your dose down to the point your body's cleaning house a little, doing some healing work?  I noticed a trend in other people's stories - it seems exhaustion hits at a certain point - and usually when the worst of the anxiety has passed.  You think maybe you're hitting a healing zone??

 

Ok everyone - notice how I am resisting the urge to ask how the jazz festival went?  Nope.  Not going there!!  Jazz?  What jazz?

 

Time to make dinner.  Tonight I think I will anger the French and make tacos!!! 

 

Dee, I can't resist....

Lawyer: A person who writes a 10,000 word document and calls it a brief.

 

Hang tough everyone.  We made it through another day.

[[de...]]

It's Black Adder for me too PeacefulHope. 💕  Benny Hill is repulsive.  . Sexist twit. Ugh! 

 

I've not read any of your posts sister girls I feel really depressed today.  These bloody hives have resurrected themselves.  Maybe it is histamine release during WD and the humidity makes it worse.  Idk.  It's just one of those days. 

 

It's not that I can't deal with hives even if uncomfortable, it's the disappointment in getting down this far and being hit with something new, different.  It just kicks you in in the head at every turn. 

 

I'll get back up but today I am down. 

 

Love you all

Dee

 

 

 

 

[[mo...]]

Ah you’re so smart Welch you could be right. I have noticed I’m not as anxious it seems to have peaked about three weeks ago and now I’m much calmer. I don’t feel like I’m healing though I feel like someone hit me in the back of my head with a bat in my sleep. That’s what anemia feels like to me. I’m not sure if I should slow down or speed up my taper all I know is I took between .024 and .029 before bed because neither of my scales are accurate. Agh. I’d like to think my body adjusts to the up and down so it’s used to it and as long as I’m stedily going down it’s fine? (Shrug)

 

So the jazz date... almost too embarrassed to say and don’t want to disappoint you but I should have known not to go when I could barely comb my hair without resting every few minutes but I’m not a quitter so I went anyway. Then realized before our food even came that I needed my couch or bed pronto. And that was that. So lame! It was nice to remember what I look like with my hair combed though. Did not hear from the dude today so I think we’re over. He had nice taste in jazz clubs too but ah well. My husband is on his way if only I can have the strength to make it through the appetizer. Thanks for having my back sisters!

 

Glad you’re all hanging in there and indeed we made it another day.

 

Ok I’ll play along- What do you call 500 lawyers at the bottom of the ocean? A good start!

[[mo...]]

Our messages crossed. I know what you mean Dee it’s not the symptoms themselves just so many and I’ll timed for sure. Dang I though the magnesium was the culprit. Will you kick me if I say it could be the smoking? These drugs interract with other things so strangely you just never know. I dobunderstand the inclination though I’ve smoked socially in the past and then for a year when I lost my husband it is so the best. It just is. And not being able to drink has made me really crave a smoke. I do still allow myself a quarterly cigarette. The last of my guilty pleasures.

 

Oh you asked how were cutting I’m just dry cutting using two crappy scales. Seems to be working so far. Or is it? I can’t tell. I hope I’m healing Welch. And haven’t broken mountaintop. Good grief...

[[de...]]

I PRAY TO ALL THINGS COMEDIC THAT NO-ONE THINKS I LIKE BENNY HILL!

 

The very thought had me rise from my death bed to protest.   

 

Dee

[[de...]]

Our posts crossed again mountaintop.  💕

 

I don't know what's causing the hives I'm starting to believe that it could be histamine release in WD seems other people have had them when I go to archives. 

 

Also saw some bloke had them covering 95% of his body.  It's not that bad for me, but certainly all over my arms and legs.  And smoking doesn't help anything.  I'm trying to cut down but during WD is so hard. 

 

Mountaintop I'm glad you took yourself home to couch and bed, it means  you are putting your needs first.  There will be other dudes out there mountaintop 🎼🎹🎺🎵🎶💃

 

You can't stop the music. 

 

Dee

[[Pe...]]

It's Black Adder for me too PeacefulHope. 💕  Benny Hill is repulsive.  . Sexist twit. Ugh! 

 

I've not read any of your posts sister girls I feel really depressed today.  These bloody hives have resurrected themselves.  Maybe it is histamine release during WD and the humidity makes it worse.  Idk.  It's just one of those days. 

 

It's not that I can't deal with hives even if uncomfortable, it's the disappointment in getting down this far and being hit with something new, different.  It just kicks you in in the head at every turn. 

 

I'll get back up but today I am down. 

 

Love you all

Dee

 

Dee, Benny Hill is a nonce. Smart Girls who know comedy cheer for Jeeves and Wooster.    No, we shall not associate you with Benny Le Hill, you are free and clear. 

Are you able to have  antihistamine Dee, like benadryl? Or use the Emugency stick for direct application? (made in aussieland I believe)  I use the Emu stick, one for body another one for face. it works wonders and you can even put it on your butt crack.    I can relate to what you're feeling it's the "oh no not one more bloody thing" response.    i get super emotional with a new symptom at times.  I'm sorry you're feeling so dang crummy, dear.  Better days are here and they are also approaching.  I swear, swear to heaven swear. 

And, you are loved...      so there's that. 

[[Pe...]]

 

Mountaintop, there you are      good to see you love.  (whew!)

 

I’m not sure if I should slow down or speed up my taper all I know is I took between .024 and .029 before bed because neither of my scales are accurate. Agh. I’d like to think my body adjusts to the up and down so it’s used to it and as long as I’m stedily going down it’s fine? (Shrug)

 

 

yes, if you are going down in numbers that's the part that matters.  I have bounced my numbers too while using the scale - it's all ok. And your numbers are so low now Woo Hoo!    steady on Mountain, you got this.

 

It's not lame that you needed to go home to bed - better to meet your needs than push thru.  You done good! 💝  Jazz will still be there when you feel like getting smooth and sexy later 

Lots of love and hugs to you 💕 💕

[[de...]]

Oh PeacefulHope your post helped me so much.  You understood completely the disappointment contained in a new symptom arising, and like you I became emotional, and hit the couch in a slump. 

 

Thanks for tips on antihystames, emergency stick, Benadryl, etc., will take myself to the pharmacy tomorrow.  It looks gross and is very itchy.

 

I managed to make myself laugh when thinking about the word "welt" as in hives, but mispronounced it as "whelk" which is a sea snail.  I wanted to puke and laugh all at the same time.  Just call me bald, skinny, whelk head.  Maybe mountaintop's jazz guy will take a fancy to me. 

 

I thank you so PeacefulHope, better days are coming I just needed to be reminded. 

 

You are much loved too PeacefulHope.  Loved and appreciated.  💕

 

Dee

[[de...]]

And where is our Welchie?

 

Loved always.  ❤️️

 

You ok mate? 

 

Dee

 

 

[[Pe...]]

Oh PeacefulHope your post helped me so much.  You understood completely the disappointment contained in a new symptom arising, and like you I became emotional, and hit the couch in a slump. 

 

Thanks for tips on antihystames, emergency stick, Benadryl, etc., will take myself to the pharmacy tomorrow.  It looks gross and is very itchy.

 

I managed to make myself laugh when thinking about the word "welt" as in hives, but mispronounced it as "whelk" which is a sea snail.  I wanted to puke and laugh all at the same time.  Just call me bald, skinny, whelk head.  Maybe mountaintop's jazz guy will take a fancy to me. 

 

I thank you so PeacefulHope, better days are coming I just needed to be reminded. 

 

You are much loved too PeacefulHope.  Loved and appreciated.  💕

 

Dee

 

You are so so very welcome, I'm only glad something I said helped even a tiny bit.

For those days where stuff crops up, I made a large post-it note of things I can do that help me when ... fill in the blank. Its my when S.Hits The Fan list.  And it includes things like benadryl,  a walk, vacuum the house, vitamin C,  cry, bounce a ball, using specific herb tinctures, post on BB,  etc. 

 

I know not everyone uses herbs and teas and that's cool - just having a recourse list right in front of me helps take a big part of the edge or emotion off the table.    Some have posted on this forum that nothing will help a symptom because its a "symptom from your CNS"  and I say this is balderdash! 

Needless suffering is not a badge of honor.  If some around this forum have ever taken an aspirin for a tension headache then they should know better.  I had an epidural when my son was born, folks, and I'm Real Glad!

 

So, benadryl tabs maybe and some EMUgency stick or spray, and anything else you'd like to try  - calamine lotion?  Don't forget that you can always  have it looked at by a physician or a trained medical asshat (the Australian version) er assistant, that is.

 

You are not similar to a marine gastropod! and around the Atlantic  they are knobbed whelks.. which brings to mind the male organ and a possible new term for guys that act like whale dorks -  "knobbed whelk" 

The weight can come back. The hair can come back.  BTW, I have already discussed building a wig with my hair dresser.  He knows my situation.

My eyebrows are nearly a full on shaved  Queen Elizabeth I  right now - if I fill in with pencil any more then I'll start looking like Joan Crawford.

 

"You are much loved too PeacefulHope.  Loved and appreciated.  💕" 

thank you Dee 

[[We...]]

Welchie is still amongst the living!!!  Frizzy hair and all!!  That sucks Dee, about the welts.  I was hoping too that it was just the magnesium and you'd be right as rain in a couple of days.  It's frustrating as hell to get slammed with new sx when you think you're making progress.  Chin up, mate...you're getting there.  You're winning the good fight!!!  I wonder if a cool soak in a tub full of plain old baking soda would help?  I'm wondering if it was a reaction to the chlorine in the pool?

 

Very scary, mountain, that you think I'm smart...more like   Hey, that jazz dude may surprise you.  It's only been a day or so.  His loss, anyway, if he's not smart enough to realize you're a bit of a diamond in the rough at the moment.  And if he does bail on you, that says more about him than it does about you.  Didn't know you were a widow, love.  So sorry to hear that.  Must have been tough with two little ones.

 

We are healing, mountaintop, Dee, Peaceful - never doubt that for a minute no matter what the Bezos throw our way.  The forces of nature that created the entire world are on our side!!!  Mother nature will make it right and take good care of us. 

 

Don't know how I missed all these great posts...I checked before I went to bed too.  Must be the time zone thing.

 

Love you all.  We're another day closer!!!

[[We...]]

Oops!  Posts crossed again!  Guess I'll always be a day late and a dollar short!!

[[Pe...]]

We are healing, mountaintop, Dee, Peaceful - never doubt that for a minute no matter what the Bezos throw our way.  The forces of nature that created the entire world are on our side!!!  Mother nature will make it right and take good care of us. 

 

Don't know how I missed all these great posts...I checked before I went to bed too.  Must be the time zone thing.

 

Love you all.  We're another day closer!!!

 

Welchie, you're here! 

my mind is ranting that i am never going to get to zero omg look at my current dose this is taking forever

(races for benzo chopping tool) 

don't come any closer or I'll chop the danged thing! i mean it!

 

Okay I'm done now 

as always it is nice to see you 

 

[[We...]]

Thanks, Peaceful 

 

I'm starting to feel weird today, in addition to the exhaustion.  Hard to explain. 

 

It's not really the horrid anxiety, like in days gone by.  'Just' an awful sense of dread and unease.  It's not really intrusive thoughts, though a little like that.  It's a mental/emotional...dread?...I guess you'd call it that feels terrible.  And all week I've been hit with physical pains that come and go.  My knee was absolutely killing me, then went away.  Wicked pain between the shoulder blades that hung around for a couple of days, then went away.  Got a really bad sciatica pain that went from my hip down to my ankle...and the skin felt really raw where the nerve pain was shooting.  Then just gone.  Now just garden variety achy all over which is business as usual.  And this weird dread. 

 

Bring it on benzo. 

 

Like that old joke...when I die (or if this all kills me) I'll leave my body to science fiction.

[[up...]]

Hello Welchie, Dee, PH, Mountaintop! 

 

I can’t read all the posts yet, but want to say I’m so happy to have found you ALL! So very grateful. I’m going to play catch up soon.

 

If any of you are experiencing a crazy sx, there is a high probability I have experienced it too, including rashes and eczema PH.

 

Let’s not forget I even had olfactory hallucinations or phantom smells. 

 

I didn’t take the 6 to 5 mg drop as well as I had hoped, hence I’ve been MIA for a bit.

The tight muscles/spasms are causing back pain again. 

I’m pill cutting, which is imprecise, so when I drop to 4 mg, I’m thinking I should hang there to stabilize my physical sxs.

It’s not a race for me.  I’ve dropped a lot and I’d love to stabilize to heal my body a bit (ie let the GABA production increase) so I can function!

 

So happy you all are here!  :)

 

Annie

[[We...]]

Hey Annie!!!  We miss you!!! 

 

Ok...too much excitement for one day...I'm going back for a snooze.  Benzo is not leaving with a whimper today...I'm the one whimpering!!!  That's all right...Like any other self respecting woman - I'll have the last word in this argument with that benzo bloke.

[[Pe...]]

For all of us, today and every day. We're going to make it.

Love you guys   

 

 

 

[[Pe...]]

Thanks, Peaceful 

 

I'm starting to feel weird today, in addition to the exhaustion.  Hard to explain. 

 

It's not really the horrid anxiety, like in days gone by.  'Just' an awful sense of dread and unease.  It's not really intrusive thoughts, though a little like that.  It's a mental/emotional...dread?...I guess you'd call it that feels terrible.  And all week I've been hit with physical pains that come and go.  My knee was absolutely killing me, then went away.  Wicked pain between the shoulder blades that hung around for a couple of days, then went away.  Got a really bad sciatica pain that went from my hip down to my ankle...and the skin felt really raw where the nerve pain was shooting.  Then just gone.  Now just garden variety achy all over which is business as usual.  And this weird dread. 

 

Bring it on benzo. 

 

Like that old joke...when I die (or if this all kills me) I'll leave my body to science fiction.

 

I think i know what you mean Welchie - I have a symptom i've labeled "weird" - have said to DH many times I feel weird today.

Not quite anything exactly but it's just there.  I'm glad the sciatica and shoulder pain went away - those are no fun at all. 

I saw you posted you're going back down for a snooze - good thinking.  Hang in there and if you need something, say something.

PS: business as usual can be quite comforting even though it's not...comforting   

[[Pe...]]

 

 

Hiya Annie! Not to worry about catching up particularly if you're not feeling so good - skip my nonsense anyhow, unless you want a head full o'stuffing 

 

Hey doc, there's this thing stuck to my head.. nurse says its a mole but I dunno 

yep, right on the temple    an ugly little spud, too.

 

Stabilizing is good thinking any time Annie - don't worry about the next cut.  Take care of the muscles as best you can. 

 

Happy to have found you!   

[[We...]]

Peaceful - the way you described it is perfect - weird but not sure exactly how - it's hard to explain.  Whatever my problem is, I bet it's hard to pronounce!

 

Have a little energy after morning snooze and trying to put it to good use.  Maybe I'll peel those M&M's for desert after dinner, since I've already got them lined up in alphabetical order and all.