The December 2015-February 2016 Jump Club

[[Be...]]

Hi guys

It has bee  almost 4 mos since I went c/t and plus to my high pitched hissing Tinnitus I also developed some pulsatile tinnitus in my right ear. Is pulsatile T also a w/d? I'm really scared of my ear symptoms.. I have no others besides them..

[[il...]]

Hi guys

It has bee  almost 4 mos since I went c/t and plus to my high pitched hissing Tinnitus I also developed some pulsatile tinnitus in my right ear. Is pulsatile T also a w/d? I'm really scared of my ear symptoms.. I have no others besides them..

 

Beste I'm so sorry you're suffering so much. I can promise you it will all get better. It just takes forever. Please be assured it's the wd. I also CTd - I know how severe each and ever symptom is. Please, hang in. You're almost at a point where everything really does start getting better.

[[Er...]]

Hi guys

It has bee  almost 4 mos since I went c/t and plus to my high pitched hissing Tinnitus I also developed some pulsatile tinnitus in my right ear. Is pulsatile T also a w/d? I'm really scared of my ear symptoms.. I have no others besides them..

 

Tinnitus is terrible and I suffer from it also. Sometimes it's enough to make you want to go mad and I hope it gets better for you and I. Mine seems to still be the same tone as it was when I started. I really hope it dies down in the future. Just hang in there!

[[an...]]

EricSS- I can totally appreciate you wanting to drink again. I've read to wait 2 years before trying to. I've been sober for almost 10 years but after this, a few years from now, I am not taking drinking a glass of wine out of the realm of the possible.

 

Oh! I meant social worker as in paid social worker for that organization. I'm just a volunteer with them now until I finish school and get my license.

 

 

 

 

[[Be...]]

ErisSS and illneverdothisagain

Thank you for your answers. I was about to habituate my old tinnitus but this new one made me confused if this is w/d or not. But it must be! It is just quite different from my usual T. It is like I can feel my heartbeat in my ear. And I think I can also stop it when I push the nerve behind my ear. Well, God save our sanity!

[[4m...]]

Well I feel silly - or maybe I've lost my mind......

 

Here I am thinking I will be 4 months off Ativan tomorrow, however I used one of those cute tracker things I've seen on here only to figure out I am only at 3 months off and that's not until NEXT Thursday.  In some ways this is discouraging, however it does explain why I am not feeling better yet.

 

This does make sense since I started my job February 8, and won't have my 90 days in until May 8th.  I took my last dose of Ativan the Thursday before I began my job.  I guess it just feels like I've struggled with this horrid withdrawal much longer than I have.

[[pe...]]

Hi all:

 

Just checking in.  No time to properly respond to all I have read .

 

But first, hello and welcome 4mylife.

 

Also thanks ang, bjeste, and illnever for your responses to my concerns for the future (the aging process).

 

Thanks also EricSS for the long and interesting post on drinking.  And what the future may hold in that respect.

 

I made it to the dentist and back.  And sadly found out I have to go back next week for three hours while two caps are removed from two teeth, two cavities are removed, and two caps replaced.  Darn!  And even with insurance, it's expensive.  But don't want to start losing teeth.

 

Best to all.

[[Er...]]

Hi all:

 

 

Thanks also EricSS for the long and interesting post on drinking.  And what the future may hold in that respect.

 

I made it to the dentist and back.  And sadly found out I have to go back next week for three hours while two caps are removed from two teeth, two cavities are removed, and two caps replaced.  Darn!  And even with insurance, it's expensive.  But don't want to start losing teeth.

 

Best to all.

 

No problem!  I'm glad you made it to the dentist and back but that sucks about having to go back. Are they going to have to knock you out or use Novocaine?  I'm not sure if that affects anything or not.  Good luck!

[[kr...]]

PENSIONER - I just turned 50 and feel i wasted my life sometimes and have fear of the future too. Its gotta be the wd. I know its there even without the wd cause i am hard on myself always have been. I believe it was all recede soon though. You will see, I ve felt like I am so lucky where i am now and can do anything when im in a window. We will be able to gain better perspective on these thoughts when our brains work better and we generally feel better all over. And for me, ill be able to swim and workout and bike which is what keeps me going. hoping this summer cause its so gorgeous here in summer and my bf will be back and it will be good for us both

Did your dds use novocaine? heard we should ask for something in place of that. i will have to go soon for a bad tooth. hope it holds up till i feel 100%

 

I ve had waves (worse than before that seem to be anxiety induced) and windows (better than in past) pretty much alternating days! its so weird! Anyone else? maybe i can attribute to the brain fine tuning in its repair??

I think even the giddyness of a window can get outta control

waves are mostly anxiety, pain. some new like muscle jerks but thats it. still trying to keep sleep under control

tomorrow will be 14 weeks. (even though i did teeny tiny crumbs of a wafer in jan so i like to think im further)

[[bj...]]

One more bad day here...

I went to the gym and did both cycling and strength training. But the wave didn't disappear. I think that I can't go there when in waves, 'cause  my inspiration falls to the bottom. I don't know...

It is midnight here now, and I'm only longing for sleep, and, as every night, hope that I will wake up with a new window.

If I were religious, I would say: Let's pray for each other. In my deepest fantasy I could not imagine how terrible this is.

But we know it will take an end. Some day.

Sorry 'bout this, but I just had to empty myself in the misery.

[[...]]

Hello all!!! Just joining the Dec group. I took my last dose on the 18th of Dec. I have a lot of burning and a churning feeling inside of me. It is so awful! Oh, I also get it in my brain sometimes. Does anyone else have the burning? Thank you!

 

 

[[bj...]]

Hey, Gia!

Welcome to our group!

My physical symptoms has all this time been burning/electric skin, tinnitus and bad appetite.

The rest is psychical.

These things are very common, I understand.

 

[[...]]

Hey, Gia!

Welcome to our group!

My physical symptoms has all this time been burning/electric skin, tinnitus and bad appetite.

The rest is psychical.

These things are very common, I understand.

 

Thank you so much!!  I will stay with this group. We are a lll on the same timeline. Can the burning like this in body and brain cause damage? Or is just withdrawal/recovery burning that although uncomfortable and nasty won't damage you? Thank you again! 

[[Er...]]

kris1967 I agree that it is our brain healing and swinging from one side of the pendulum to the other.  I like to think of it as little construction workers finishing up in one area and then moving on to the other.  That's just one less area now for your brain to heal.

 

bjesti I'm sorry you had another bad day.  Great job on exercising.  Keep it up!

 

Gia Welcome to our little club! We started this so that we can stay together instead of moving from group to group and we're always happy to add someone else!  Well, not happy that there is another person to add, but you get my point    I don't get much burning but I know that a lot of people do so I would say it is definitely a w/d symptom for you.  I'm sorry you have this and I hope it continues to improve!  The burning is generally not causing any more damage, but is actually from the healing process.  It's like when a nerve starts to regenerate.  It's the healing of the nerve that can cause the pain.  So think of the pain as a step in the right direction.  Good luck!

[[...]]

Gia Welcome to our little club! We started this so that we can stay together instead of moving from group to group and we're always happy to add someone else! Well, not happy that there is another person to add, but you get my point   I don't get much burning but I know that a lot of people do so I would say it is definitely a w/d symptom for you.  I'm sorry you have this and I hope it continues to improve!  The burning is generally not causing any more damage, but is actually from the healing process.  It's like when a nerve starts to regenerate.  It's the healing of the nerve that can cause the pain.  So think of the pain as a step in the right direction.  Good luck!

 

Thank you! Yes I get the point.  Thank you so much. That's a good explanation. I get it now. 

[[kr...]]

Eric thanks for backin up my theory lol!  have you noticed the same kinda pattern?

 

H Gia! welcome I used klonopin and i think because its a muscle relaxer it really did a number on my muscles. I felt like my muscles were on fire everywhere! sat with ice packs. some stabbing pains too just recently but less burning. Its worse if i dont sleep. In the head too im sure - there are muscles there. 

btw, i take magnesium, tumeric, boswelia for muscle pain and sometimes zymflemmend. And I do stretches 3x a day now

 

Today not in pain just a normal soreness like from a workout so i went hikin up the big hills today!!!

 

[[...]]

Eric thanks for backin up my theory lol!  have you noticed the same kinda pattern?

 

H Gia! welcome I used klonopin and i think because its a muscle relaxer it really did a number on my muscles. I felt like my muscles were on fire everywhere! sat with ice packs. some stabbing pains too just recently but less burning. Its worse if i dont sleep. In the head too im sure - there are muscles there. 

btw, i take magnesium, tumeric, boswelia for muscle pain and sometimes zymflemmend. And I do stretches 3x a day now

 

Today not in pain just a normal soreness like from a workout so i went hikin up the big hills today!!!

 

Thank you! Awesome! Go go go! :thumbsup:

[[Er...]]

Eric thanks for backin up my theory lol!  have you noticed the same kinda pattern?

 

 

Yes I have. I think that's the whole premise behind the windows and waves.

 

After having a couple of week reprieve, the morning surges and some night sweats have returned for the past 4 nights.  They haven't been as bad but they are definitely there. It's frustrating because I thought maybe I had turned the corner with them.  The good news is my other symptoms haven't gotten any worse.  Still the same old tinnitus.  The muscle ticks seemed to have slowed down over the past week or so but I also expect those to come back.  Cog fog remains.  The anxiety has been pretty low for about a month now which is nice and I haven't had any chemical induced anxiety attacks in over a month so I REALLY am hoping to not have one of those again.

[[pe...]]

Hi all:

 

Just checking in again.  In a few minutes, darn, I must go to therapist for some EMDR.  This makes me anxious because sometimes it calms me, but sometimes, like last week, it doesn't.  Hard to know why.  So maybe I am in the dumps today from anticipatory anxiety, or maybe it's these high winds.  I do not do well in high winds; they are 20 to 30 mph today where I live.

 

Hello, Gia!

 

Thanks Eric and Kris for response to my dentist adventure.  I don't think they will have to knock me out, though, years and years ago, one of my worse panic attacks happened in the dentist chair.  By the time it was over I was shaking and my shirt was stained through with sweat.  Around then I turned to benzo.  Bad decision.  But what did I know?

 

bjeste, you hang in there!  Yes, as Illnever said, we are suffering.  But I am reading some Nietzsche and he seems to think that even suffering is ultimately life affirming.

[[kr...]]

Eric im going to remember what you said about the construction workers...thats a great way to think of it. A dr would probably think we are bipolar

Are any of you here doing supplements? taking an AD?

I guess my hike yesterday was too much.. no sleep, unmotivated, anxiety! sore, foggy. I hope i have a window tomorrow.

[[an...]]

Kris no supplements and no AD. I do take a tiny dose of a beta-blocker but I've been on and off of those since my panic attacks started 13 years ago. When I exercise a LOT, I have to come off because my blood pressure and pulse rate gets really low. So it's just a matter of time when I come off of those. I can't tell you how freeing and scary it will be to be off all meds. It's been 13 years since I wasn't on something! I am so close!

 

Pensionier1 I just started EMDR. I don't think I've had a real session yet but close. She uses the hand paddles that vibrate back and forth instead of her hand because she said it can make people really dizzy. What session are you on and PLEASE tell me more!!!! Session 1: we did resourcing. Where you use the stimulation but are thinking about a safe place, relatives that nurtured you, a protector and a higher power. I felt happier after that session that my brain was in fact able to think positively! Session 2 was yesterday. She told me to tell her "what happened" leading up to and after cold turkey. It was SO HARD to talk about because #1 it was SO SCARY for me. I really thought I was going to die or lose my mind and had to fight for my sanity for several weeks. #2 It was hard to say it out loud in front of someone who hasn't been through this. I don't want her to think I'm schizo or psychotic or whatever! I felt ok and went to class after. I did have a pretty bad tension headache last night but I think it was due to stress from school work.

 

I'm glad to hear I'm not the only one doing therapy / EMDR. Some members on this board told me it wasn't a good idea this early or that EMDR made them worse. Take that with a grain of salt because EVERYONE is different. I am healing and that is where my priority lies!

 

EricSS my anxiety has died down A LOT too over the last 2 weeks or so. It's such a relief! Do you think it's gone for us for good? I mean I still get it a little bit but like the normal kind when you have to go into class or the store or whatever. No chemical anxiety kind! Feels GREAT!

 

[[Er...]]

Eric im going to remember what you said about the construction workers...thats a great way to think of it. A dr would probably think we are bipolar

Are any of you here doing supplements? taking an AD?

I guess my hike yesterday was too much.. no sleep, unmotivated, anxiety! sore, foggy. I hope i have a window tomorrow.

 

I am not on any supplements.  I even stopped taking workout supplements like protein powder or my Scivation interworkout drink that I used to sip throughout the day.  It was a BCAA supplement and I have heard mixed reviews on the different types of BCAA's so I stopped it.  And from what I hear protein powders can also have items that can make people in Benzo W/D sensitive like Aspartame which is very hard on our GABA/Glutamate balance. Aspartame is in a lot of diet sodas as well. I've tried to reduce my intake of Soy Protein to zero and now I mostly eat chicken, salmon, and eggs for protein.  I will eat red meat when it's around because I love it. 

 

I'm sorry you feel bad from overdoing it yesterday.  I'm still taking it slow too.  I've been fighting off a cold that's in my lungs so haven't done much this week.  I do plan on going to the gym today though but taking it very easy.  I'll probably doing some stretching and some foam rolling (I love foam rolling!), some light lifting, and then head into the steam room with some eucalyptus.  No cardio yet with my lung congestion. 

[[Er...]]

EricSS my anxiety has died down A LOT too over the last 2 weeks or so. It's such a relief! Do you think it's gone for us for good? I mean I still get it a little bit but like the normal kind when you have to go into class or the store or whatever. No chemical anxiety kind! Feels GREAT!

 

I REALLY hope so for our sake Ang 

[[bj...]]

Hey!

Kris,

You asked about AD's. I am now tapering Cipralex (escitalopram).

But the one I have to wait tapering is Remeron. It makes me relax and sleep.

I know that Remeron withdrawal has it's own group here on BB. I really hope that tapering this will not ruin my life once more.

 

Strange day today. Extremely depressed until three o'clock. Suddenly the depression disappeared. Now it's 10.45 pm and I'm still fine. The construction workers managed to make peace for a period.

 

[[Er...]]

Strange day today. Extremely depressed until three o'clock. Suddenly the depression disappeared. Now it's 10.45 pm and I'm still fine. The construction workers managed to make peace for a period.

 

:thumbsup: