The December 2015-February 2016 Jump Club

[[Ho...]]

Checking in again. 3 years off today.

[[an...]]

Hockey!!! Your mom killed herself from Benzos? Can you say more? Was she aware the drugs make us crazy? I AM sooooo sorry. I can’t imagine the pain you are feeling!

[[Ho...]]

Hey ang, how far back did you read? I can't remember if I shed more light on the story or not. She was on them for almost 30 years and they took her from 4 mg of xanax to 1 mg of klonopin in 5 days. It fried her. This all happened before I knew anything about benzos.  She came out of it thinking there was something inside her and a mess of other things. They took her off and on them again and really screwed her up. She complained of unbearable face pain 24/7. Finally At one point they took my advice and let me help her taper. Got her from 2 to .25 and then all the sudden everything went to shit. My dad really added to mess and made things worse. Autopsy report showed that she wasn't taking any of her meds at the time of killing herself , so she was completely out of her mind when she did it. Pardon the language but it's been fucking awful. She suffered bad for 5 years. I always felt that God put me through my withdrawal to help her through hers. Like I said she was doing pretty good through the taper, my son came and my focus was on him and it happened. There were a lot of other factors that helped contribute to her death. I hate it. She was the kindest, most loving, warm person you would ever meet. My heart is broken.

[[an...]]

Oh wow, I had only read back a page or so. I’m so sorry Hockey. This is all so tragic. Horrible. We have to use this anger to fuel change. It’s all so messed up.

[[Ho...]]

Oh wow, I had only read back a page or so. I’m so sorry Hockey. This is all so tragic. Horrible. We have to use this anger to fuel change. It’s all so messed up.

 

Thank you and I agree. It feels impossible at times trying to get people to listen. It's been a rough year. 6 weeks after my mom died my little 17 year old cousin killed himself too. Had it not been for my son, I think I would have lost my mind. I hope you're doing ok.

[[Er...]]

39 months off tomorrow. I feel like i’m mostly healed 95% of the time.

 

However, i’be been in a wave for a week now that is as bad as acute was. It’s only the third wave i’ve had in the last 15 months I think and the other 2 only lasted 2-3 days.

 

Nausea, anxiety, tinnitus, benzo flu, night sweats with headaches, early morning surges that feel toxic. It’s all come roaring back. It’s so demoraliing when you think you are all done and you think it’s in the past. Sorry I’m not on here very often anymore and I hope others are doing well.

[[Er...]]

Still here and still having a rough few months. I hope the others here have all healed!

[[Ho...]]

Just dropping in to say hey and that it's been 3 weeks that I've been off all my meds with the exception of a little trazadone here and there for sleep. OCD is still there but much better and I'm doing it with out meds. Short story is that the meds I was on to help the OCD actually started doing the opposite and started making it worse. So I got off it. I see this thread is much dead but I'd be curious to know how everyone is doing.

[[Ho...]]

Hey all!

 

4 years off Today! Although I'm still frustrated with this protracted withdrawal, things do get better over time. I still currently deal with OCD, restless legs, I get this twitch in my left leg and hand/ other jumpy twitches throughout my body and have recently been dealing with unexplained agitation and anger. It's there for no reason, something chemical.  I'm at the gym, playing hockey, working, fishing, enjoying my new son and wife. You name it. There were points along my taper and after where I didn't think I would make it but I did. Although I'm not back to "normal" I've made it this far. Keep pushing and surviving. Do whatever you can to stay busy no matter how small, find good support, count your gratitudes and you'll make it! Aside from Cold Turkey withdrawals I was the worst of the worst tolerance withdrawals and made it. Keep at it! Please feel free to holler anytime if you need any thing! STAY STRONG!

[[bj...]]

Pensioneer1

A very long time has gone.

At last I am about to land on Tellus again.

A new  psychiatrist gave me Sarotex, and after four months she gave me Lamictal, and now I am reducing the Sarotex.

And for the first time in four and a half year I am about to recover. At last. Fantastic. I am now starting to live again !!!

What about you?

Bjesti

[[Ho...]]

I'm back to sheer misery. Restless legs, Restless body, severe agitation, severe anger, jolting in my sleep, sweating and short short tempered. I have another set of blood tests coming back. I went to complete crap. I wanted to beat my self in the head this more, the agitation was so bad. Don't know what's going on. 

[[Tr...]]

Hi! In a few days I can "celebrate" 4 years. Sometimes everything feels like a nightmare, but unfortunately this is the truth.

 

How's it going for you? 

[[Er...]]

I'm back to sheer misery. Restless legs, Restless body, severe agitation, severe anger, jolting in my sleep, sweating and short short tempered. I have another set of blood tests coming back. I went to complete crap. I wanted to beat my self in the head this more, the agitation was so bad. Don't know what's going on.

 

Hope things are going well for you again after that bad wave. So sorry to hear about it.

 

I've been pretty good so far this year.  95% healed still I feel 95% of the time.  I do still get some bad very short waves but I haven't had a wave last longer than 24 hours in probably 5 months.

 

One thing I do still get is the morning surges almost every morning anywhere from 4am-7am.  I've just resigned to the fact that I'll have those the rest of my life.

 

Still no alcohol for me.

[[Tr...]]

Eric, I'm so happy that you've been pretty good so far this year. Great!