The December 2015-February 2016 Jump Club

[[co...]]

pensioner: I am scanning all pages, seems it is quite new topic for me.  however I am glad to join this batch.

 

kris: I am glad now you are feeling better. Yes, I am hoping for a much better situation in several next month. I think my body start regulate to usual slowly, including some unnecessary thing. I never that energetic before taking benzo at the morning. Yes anger issue also hit me last 2 weeks. I am really easily pissed by anything, specially to noisy situation. Last night I asked my wife, and she replied that actually before taking a benzo or medication, I am easily pissed. So well, yes, my body regulate to its order now 

This is not my own cat, it is google's cat but I ma planning to adopt one, I heard taking care a pet can lessen the stress. 

[[an...]]

Hey guys, just popping in super fast. 2 days of school left so working hard on homework. I'll be back later to write me

 

[[bj...]]

Hey, all of you!

More positive things.

Yesterday was really bad. All day. But today, a new window opened. Wonderful. I've done small things inside and outside the house, been to the gym at a spinning session, read papers, etc. I know that hell will be back (tomorrow?), but those periods of peace in mind is invaluable. And they seem to come more often now. The last fortnight I've had two full days, two days ago, and today, and five half days, always in the afternoon.

I pray for this being the beginning of the end of this cruel period in life.

[[Ho...]]

Hey all. Hope your all doing well! I have been having some better days. Mornings are better. Health anxiety is so so. Have more days of lack of motivation and kinda in the dumps which is different for me. Anyone else hungry all the time? I seem to be hungry a lot and for sweets mainly. I'm lucky I'm active. God bless.

[[co...]]

Hey all. Hope your all doing well! I have been having some better days. Mornings are better. Health anxiety is so so. Have more days of lack of motivation and kinda in the dumps which is different for me. Anyone else hungry all the time? I seem to be hungry a lot and for sweets mainly. I'm lucky I'm active. God bless.

 

Hockeylife. I am glad you are doing well. I know health anxiety can be terrible. FYI I have just started to write a topic related to it. My 2nd month seems better than my current 3rd month. You bet, my eating pattern is totally mess and I become a sweet tooth lately. Sugar is kinda bad for some source state that it can boost the anxiety.

[[an...]]

Hey guys!

 

All done with homework! Just waiting on final grades.

 

I'm kinda freaking out now since I don't have anything to do for the next month!

 

I am trying to work up the courage to go back to my gym and that will take up at least 3 days per week.

 

Other than that I will be cleaning my house top to bottom and will be having a garage sale. 

 

I've been in a small wave the last 2 days with crappy sleep and medium levels of anxiety. I was still able to do all my homework, eat well, drink water and walk everyday. Yep I still have health anxiety too which is the main reason I'm afraid to go back to the gym. I'm scared to hurt myself because I don't wand to go to any doctor for the rest of my life!

 

How is everyone else?!

[[Er...]]

Ang,  good luck with your final grades!  Sorry about your small wave.  Isn't it still so much better than the larger ones earlier on in recovery though?  I woke up in a small one today but it's so managable.  If you're worried about hurting yourself, just take it easy.  Lower weight higher rep sets for muscle and medium intensity intervals for cardio. 

 

to all!

[[an...]]

YES! Way more manageable and not nearly as debilitating!

 

High reps? I love it!

[[pe...]]

Hi all:

 

I am almost at five weeks out, and it's sad to say I don't feel any better.  Two of the last three nights were among the worse so far, and the exhausted days that followed those nights were not so hot either.

 

While I feel worst in the morning and better in the evening (though still pretty awful), I am not sure I have experienced yet what people call a window.  A couple of times recently, after exercise, I thought, "hell, I can do this.  I have got this down."  Like I had figured it out somehow, and then the next day that feeling was all gone like those mornings you read something you wrote when you were stoned.  And you realized you weren't  making any sense at all.  So rather than windows I have momentary delusions.

 

I am glad though that others have these windows.  bejeste, felt terrible and then had a window.  So did Kris, I think.  Remembering the windows must help with the waves.

 

ang, Eric is right about about working out.  Do it.  Look I am 70 years old and if anybody might worry about hurting his or her self working out, it's me.  I do it anyway. 

 

And I am glad your finals are over.

 

I took my last final in 1973 but I can remember what a relief it is to have them over.

 

May all be as well as well can be.

[[an...]]

If I get nervous at the gym, I will have all of you to draw courage from. I will tell myself that pensionier1 is doing it, so is bjeste and EricSS and I know kris just started too even with bad muscle pain.

 

Thank you for the motivation!

 

I saw a video yesterday on FB and it was about windows. This lady said that when you heal, you don't really even know it is about to happen. You just wake up one day and it's all gone. This gave me a lot of hope.

 

Maybe this will help pens- She takes a few minutes at the beginning to stall until more viewers are watching so maybe fast forward a little bit.

 

It's the first video https://www.facebook.com/Healingfrombenzos/videos

[[Er...]]

pensioner I think you meant 5 months out right? Not weeks.  I'm so sorry that you don't seem to be getting better. Just continue to hang in there! I'm glad to hear you're going to the gym at least. Exercise is so good for healing. I know you'll get your windows.

[[...]]

If I get nervous at the gym, I will have all of you to draw courage from. I will tell myself that pensionier1 is doing it, so is bjeste and EricSS and I know kris just started too even with bad muscle pain.

 

Thank you for the motivation!

 

I saw a video yesterday on FB and it was about windows. This lady said that when you heal, you don't really even know it is about to happen. You just wake up one day and it's all gone. This gave me a lot of hope.

 

Maybe this will help pens- She takes a few minutes at the beginning to stall until more viewers are watching so maybe fast forward a little bit.

 

It's the first video https://www.facebook .com/Healingfrombenzos/videos

 

Hi Ang! Are you a member on Facebook recovery sites? Also, I noticed you came off ativan. Do you have any burning? I have bad burning in my spine and occasionally in my brain. I also get like a sharp knife pain at various places in my body. Apparently ativan causes these sorts of pains...?? Thanks!! 

[[an...]]

Yes I am in the FB groups but honestly there's so much drama in there I try not to read/comment for the last few weeks. I also like BB better since I can stay anonymous 

 

I do get those stabbing pains but just randomly. 2 days ago my left breast a few times for about 3 days. I used to get them in my legs and stomach, all gone now for several weeks.

 

I get really bad head and eye pressure and today it is intense!

[[co...]]

Yes I am in the FB groups but honestly there's so much drama in there I try not to read/comment for the last few weeks. I also like BB better since I can stay anonymous 

I do get those stabbing pains but just randomly. 2 days ago my left breast a few times for about 3 days. I used to get them in my legs and stomach, all gone now for several weeks.

I get really bad head and eye pressure and today it is intense!

Ang111.

I am sorry for experiencing a bad wave now. I also dealing with pain in several part of my body. As well as my tension headache and jaw pain, urgh. I need to apply analgesic balm here, and there, again and again. Somehow my lab colleagues are complaining about the smell. Now I take vitamin B12 for my daily basis dan it helps me to relieve the muscle pain and tension. 

[[...]]

Yes I am in the FB groups but honestly there's so much drama in there I try not to read/comment for the last few weeks. I also like BB better since I can stay anonymous 

 

I do get those stabbing pains but just randomly. 2 days ago my left breast a few times for about 3 days. I used to get them in my legs and stomach, all gone now for several weeks.

 

I get really bad head and eye pressure and today it is intense!

 

Yes me too. I like the anonymity of BB. We are so close in time frame! Happy to know I'm not the only one with the stabbing sharp pain. I hope we cross the line soon! 

[[an...]]

I wouldn't call this a bad wave, just annoying really! I feel pretty good in my mental state- just physical symptoms all day. I'm glad to not have any scary mental stuff today! PHEW!

 

I'm still too scared to take anything. No vitamins, supplements or Tylenol even. SCARY to me!

 

I am getting really good at distraction. Today I cleaned out 5 boxes and bins that were full of old papers from when I moved last September. I was too busy to really unpack and then all this happened. I have nothing to do while I'm on break from school so cleaning is happening! It feels so good to throw old papers away!

 

I'm going to have a garage sale on Saturday if I can get it all together by then! It will feel so good to have more space and less junk!

[[co...]]

I wouldn't call this a bad wave, just annoying really! I feel pretty good in my mental state- just physical symptoms all day. I'm glad to not have any scary mental stuff today! PHEW!

That's great then. I am happy for you.  If your physical symptom is tolerable then it is fine not to take those supplement or medicine. Distraction is very great to help the healing process, it is great you find some. It is weird because once I got nothing to do, like at home my mind go wild. Hope your physical symptom getting better soon.

[[pe...]]

Hi all:

 

Eric, of course.  Right.  Months not weeks.  Cog fog and elder moments produce that kind of mistake.  I thought I had proof read it.  Thanks also for the kind words.  It's pretty bad but I am hanging in there.  Tomorrow in fact will be five months (not weeks) out.

 

ang, I couldn't open the facebook link.  But that's OK.  I don't want to sign up for any facebook group.  I will take your word for it.  Very good luck on the garage sale; cleaning up and throwing out stuff is a good thing to do.  I don't know when I will be able to tackle our garage with its 25 years of accumulated junk.  I had rotator cuff surgery on both shoulders a while back.  I really shouldn't be lifting boxes of books. 

 

Oh, when I exercise, I don't do weights.  Just aerobic stuff.  Elliptical or stationary bike.

 

Gia, , why do you prefer the anonymity of BB to facebook.  That's my preference too.  But wonder why you feel that way, having experienced FB.  I haven't.

 

contikitiki, so you work in a lab?  For money or school?

 

May all be as well as well can be.

[[bj...]]

Hey, all of you!

My wife helped me to find a private psychologist. I met her today. One and a half hour later, I said goodbye, and a positive energy had entered my mind. She asked me to stop writing log, to forget windows and waves, and just meet the new day without any kind of things that bothers me, I.e.: Wait going more to the gym, because I'm not capable socializing with new people yet, don't think of getting the boat on the water, because that thought stresses me. I love being at sea. Just let it come when you are ready for, she said. Start every day just letting things go slow. Be outside with the dog. We need sun on the body. But don't stop play music and sing. I feel safe with my old friends. May be I have to stop visiting this group for a while, and see if I can get some more peace just being...

I don't know. What do you think?

[[an...]]

Bjesti- that's great! I started seeing a therapist 3 weeks ago too and it has helped me be more positive too!

 

I think you need to do whatever is best for you. Listen to your intuition and make the decision based on that.

 

I have stopped reading a LOT of threads on this bb because I'm trying to limit any negative information from coming inside.

 

Your therapist sounds very positive and has a lot of great tips that I try to do for myself too!

 

[[Er...]]

Just got back from my first spin class in months and I feel really good, except I'm obviously not in the shape I would like to be in. LOL. I feel better than I've felt in a long time. Almost normal. I'm sure it's the endorphins but I'm cool with that.  I'm going to keep going and hopefully get back into better cardio shape. Cheers to all and positive thoughts!

[[co...]]

Hi bjesti: I think getting help from professional (without medicine) is a good step to heal completely. They may know the best method and procedure to heal you. Since you are now in her care it is very good to follow her advise completely and observe whether the session results works for you.

 

pensioner: For both. I got my salary and tuition fee from lab research. I wish I can get better before it hit my final assignment. 

[[an...]]

YEAH EricSS that makes me so hopeful because there's no better feeling than that high/exhausted feeling after a HARD workout! I miss that so much! I texted my coach and told her I want to start back to crossfit ASAP But I need to start at 50%. My 100% is outta control. lol. I need to start back slow. She said she's in Finals this week so we have to start next week. I'm still walking and doing yoga while I wait.

 

I had bad intrusive thoughts today again, this time it was imagining people really hurt and it was sooooo scary. I came home, walked 1 1/2 with the dog, sat here for awhile and still felt crappy so did some yoga. FEEL SO MUCH BETTER now!

 

Hugs to everyone!

 

If we look back 2 months ago, I think we are all making a lot of improvement. We may not think so but I can see it in every single one of us! Yes even you pensioner1 

[[...]]

 

 

Gia, , why do you prefer the anonymity of BB to facebook.  That's my preference too.  But wonder why you feel that way, having experienced FB.  I haven't. I don't want anyone "seeing" me. Lol! That's it really.

 

May all be as well as well can be. Thank you!

[[an...]]

Gia, did you mean to ask me that question?

 

I prefer BB because you guys can't look at my pictures, see what I do for a living / volunteering. I help a major veteran organization as a speaker / volunteer and just prefer being anonymous / no judgement.