Reassurances from professionals that we will heal

[[mi...]]

Hi Ingrid.....

 

I also had the heart cath......I did not know how much radiation that put in my body until later.......all for nothing......dam benzos :tickedoff:

 

Take care....m... :smitten:

[[ni...]]

OK so I went to the compounding pharmacy my Pharmacist referred me to about the liquid K, and once again I found a Pharmacist that was

absolutely amazed how low I had gotten in my taper.  I walked in & asked to see the Pharmacist & she came out & I asked about Liquid K &

her response was, am I tapering off? haha I said yes I am & she asked how low I am & where I started at.

 

When she asked me if I reached hell yet with such sincerity in her voice, I knew she knew what tapering off benzos is all about.  She said she

has helped many people get off K & knows what it's like.  She also said she is sick of doctors handing this stuff out like it's candy & they have

no clue how to get people off of it. 

 

She was completely concerned for me & saying how impressed she was on where I was at in my taper & said to go very slow or you will get yourself in trouble & have to updose to get stable again. 

 

She said the liquid K is only good for 2 weeks at a time & recommended pills that she can make in any dose size.  I have been cutting my 0.5 pills & have been cutting them in quarters.  But the lower I get & cutting by a quarter each dose is kicking my butt & may need to cut a little less.  I am 14 days into this last cut & still feeling the sxs, usually my sxs only last about 10 days.

 

Have a great evening buddies!!! 

 

Ninj

[[mi...]]

Hi Ninj.......

 

It is so great to meet with professionals that get it.....I am so happy for you that you have that support.....makes things a little less scary...

 

Take care Ninj.....m ....

[[je...]]

Great idea for a thread Minnie!

[[ni...]]

Minnie,

 

It really does make me feel a ton better hearing from a medical professional that validates what I am going thru.

 

It gives me a little pep in my step & smile on my benzo brained face 

 

Have a great evening!!

 

Ninj

 

[[mi...]]

I agree completely.....

 

We need PEP IN OUR STEP ....take care Ninj....m ....

[[Ki...]]

Ninj - I really like your positive attitude. I've remained fairly positive throug this as well, even though it's the pits!!!!! I save my rantinga and ravings for my blog 

 

Thanks for you insight 

[Guest [in...]]

Hi Ingrid...long time no hear   Glad to see your taper is going down   I was doing well avoiding the dr.s and ER but I had a visit last week to the ER.  Terrible arm and chest pain at the airport.  The paramedics scared me with horror stories of people 46 dropping dead on the plane.  Told me my EKG was abnormal.  Off to ER in ambulance.  My EKG has a "normal" abnormality.  ugh!  The good thing is I have the peace of mind that any chest pain is NOT a heart attack.  This stuff sucks

 

Hi Drew!  Ive missed you. Glad you're ok. Ambulance? That's scary, isnt it? I also arrived to ER once during that crazy time,via ambulance and they take you directly back to the room. I kept saying I was having a heart attack. Everything was NORMAL!  Yes, I got told about people dropping dead of heart attacks, I was 44 at the time. They did some kind of blood test to see if I had a heart attack, if you did, then it shows some kind of something in your blood. Yes, peace of mind, once you find out its all just anxiety, or it was in my case.

There was a glitch in my taper, or should I say, my math skills are sucky. Im still at 6mg and thought I was at 5.75mg 

[[ni...]]

Ninj - I really like your positive attitude. I've remained fairly positive throug this as well, even though it's the pits!!!!! I save my rantinga and ravings for my blog 

 

Thanks for you insight 

 

Kiddo,

 

Thanks for saying that, I try to keep a positive attitude during this but there is nothing easy about it.  Hopefully there will be more good days than bad.  I have had a couple of week

long windows that showed me what is possible for the future.  I have my bad days which seem more than the good ones 

 

I hope you have an awesome day today!!!

 

Ninj

[[...]]

Hi all,

I have a good psychiatrist and psychologist at the moment as I need therapy along with the tapering for various trauma that I need to work through once and for all.  It is time to work on my life now and heal in every way possible. My psychiatrist really understands benzos, I am grateful for her and her holistic approach. I know I am in good hands and my psychologist is great too, she works hand in hand with the psychiatrist so it is good to have this backup and I am ready to work with these people. I did have help in the past but was not ready for it or could not seem to talk my problems out. Now that I am tapering, I am finding my emotions again and dealing with them. No more plasters on pain. It is good. I am changing my whole life around this taper and getting closer to myself in the process. Being true to myself the most wonderful gift. I feel freedom to be me finally. I am also very grateful to this site for the wonderful people who get me through my taper. Thank you BB's xxxx

[[Lo...]]

mutu "Fall seven times, stand up eight." 

 

Never, never think that your brain has been damaged by benzos-beyond repair. Always keep thinking of your brain as changing, healing, rebooting! Our bodies are amazing and can and do repair, heal. 

 

Thank you for this because sometimes I feel like I will never regain proper balance, never run again, dance, perform...will always have anxiety.

 

But thankfully deep deep deep down I know it's a lie and I will get well! 

 

Thanks for this Ingrid!

[Guest [in...]]

LM You will heal. Im glad you read my post and took it to heart! 

[[Lo...]]

LM You will heal. Im glad you read my post and took it to heart! 

 

Thanks for always coming back and spreading love!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

[Guest [mu...]]

mutu "Fall seven times, stand up eight." 

 

Never, never think that your brain has been damaged by benzos-beyond repair. Always keep thinking of your brain as changing, healing, rebooting! Our bodies are amazing and can and do repair, heal. 

 

Thank you for this because sometimes I feel like I will never regain proper balance, never run again, dance, perform...will always have anxiety.

 

But thankfully deep deep deep down I know it's a lie and I will get well! 

 

Thanks for this Ingrid!

 

Oh, to run again... you have no idea what that would mean to me!!! I haven't been able to run since January 8th, 2011. Yes I know the date, and I'll never forget it! That was the day I got an IT band knee/hip injury that I now know was due to cutting my klonopin dosage (an attempt that didn't last). All my muscles tightened up and I was getting injured left and right while running and playing basketball, and I'd never had ANY injuries in my life before that. My IT band never healed despite extensive rehab work and surgery, until I got off klonopin. The week I jumped the pain lessened by at least 60% - just like that. I don't think I've felt it "twinge" at all for about 6 months now, so it's probably healed - I just need my energy back and for my overall muscle tightness to leave!

 

I was a trail runner before this, and nothing - absolutely NOTHING - will ever compare to the joy I got from running in the woods. I can't tell you how distressing it was to have to stop. But at this point, I'd settle for being able to take a long walk!

 

If I get to run again after this, it will bliss beyond anything I could possibly imagine. And just icing on the cake.

 

 

[[Ki...]]

Mutuuraia - I'm SOOO glad to hear your tight muscles eased up once you got off K. My most troubling symptom is my IT band as well. I also have really tense legs and lower back. I was never a runner but played a lot of sports and haven't been able to since December and it really upset me. I've been doing physio and massage but it's expensive. I really hope mine lets up when I'm off this stuff. 

[Guest [mu...]]

IT band pain is the worst!

 

During my taper I pulled a major muscle every month or so. I was constantly injuring myself doing the most basic things (like walking down the stairs, picking something up from the floor, etc). I also managed to jam my fingers several times by doing absolutely NOTHING that I can remember. It's as if all my muscles were in a constant state of injury.

 

This went away after I jumped, but around 6 months off my legs, glutes, and hip muscles became seriously tight and squeezed. I still have it, unfortunately. This "squeezing" is more neuropathic / spastic now, like what MS patients deal with. It makes it so hard to walk and be on my feet though... I have the constant sensation that I've just done 100 squats! It comes and goes, and eventually it will go away completely.

[Guest [in...]]

Hi Ingrid.....

 

I also had the heart cath......I did not know how much radiation that put in my body until later.......all for nothing......dam benzos :tickedoff:

 

Take care....m... :smitten:

 

So you too had heart cath? I worried so much about all the stupid tests they ran. They said they were obligated to do it since I was coming in so often saying I was having a heart attack.  It was all just anxiety. I guess I see where they were coming from. ERs are not the place for mental issues... It's so very difficult here to get in with a psychiatrist esp if it's of an urgent nature. That really needs to change.

Anyway, back to healing....my pdoc is so positive about me tapering. She assures me everytime I see her that I will survive this and predicts that I will thrive! Ok, I choose to believe her! 

[[ni...]]

Ingrid,

 

I believe you can believe your Doc, I have had week long windows during this tapering thingie & I look at it like a glimpse of what's to come & I hold onto that idea.  It's what keeps me

going everyday.

 

I hope you have a wonderful day today!!

 

Ninj

[[Va...]]

I really liked this thread. Till I saw the Canadian doctor. That it takes two years to heal. That you should not expect otherwise. I am in this for only two months. As long as I am in this I cant treat lyme disease. So two years of this and then what? How bad will I be? When will my cns accept medicin again? I was still hoping I would heal fast. Maybe within a year.  :'(

[Guest [mu...]]

Vanille - try to remember that some people heal MUCH faster than others. It will not take 2 years for everyone.

 

Have you looked into treating your Lyme's with teasel root? That might be something you could take even in withdrawal.

 

 

[[dr...]]

IT band pain is the worst!

 

During my taper I pulled a major muscle every month or so. I was constantly injuring myself doing the most basic things (like walking down the stairs, picking something up from the floor, etc). I also managed to jam my fingers several times by doing absolutely NOTHING that I can remember. It's as if all my muscles were in a constant state of injury.

 

This went away after I jumped, but around 6 months off my legs, glutes, and hip muscles became seriously tight and squeezed. I still have it, unfortunately. This "squeezing" is more neuropathic / spastic now, like what MS patients deal with. It makes it so hard to walk and be on my feet though... I have the constant sensation that I've just done 100 squats! It comes and goes, and eventually it will go away completely.

 

Ha!  The damn jammed finger thingy.  I have had the craziest sprains and pulled muscles where I couldn't recall what the hell I did. Right now my fingers feel like they have arthritis.  My legs and arms feel weak a lot too.  I used to do spin classes and mountain biking.  That stuff is on the sideline.  I try and do 20-30 light elliptical a couple time a week.  After each time it feels like I ran a marathon.

 

Who would believe this?  I sometimes think this is how I'll be the rest of my life.  Fatigued, in pain, and anxiety ridden

[[ni...]]

Hey all!,

 

I just came back from that compounding pharmacy.  It's right down the street from my house & wanted to ask

that Pharmacist more questions.  Someone on here asked me if I ever go back there to ask the Pharmacist directly if she thinks we do heal

after being on Benzo's & her response was this.  That you do in fact heal, she just came back from a conference recently on exactly this

topic & the head speaker was some bigwig that has helped tons of people get off.  She said that he said that people do get better by

growing new receptors but it takes time & that the slow taper is the way to go due to healing while tapering & to never CT off any benzos

it's to much of a shock to the system.  He said its like getting punched in the arm once a day for a year, it hurts but not too badly but

if you take a years worth of punches at one time, something is going to break.

 

 

I walked into the Pharmacy & the Pharmacist said "you have stabilized haven't you" I said yep how did you know & she said I can tell, you

were kind of jittery & your mannerisms & voice are different than when you came in here on Tuesday.  I was shocked that she noticed a

difference, but she was right in the last two days I have stabilized & feel better.  But this cut really hit me harder & longer than any other

cut, so something is going to have to give either do a daily reduction or smaller cuts.

 

I just wanted to share with all of you, she validated what we all want to believe.....I felt so awesome walking out of there!

 

Ninj

[[mi...]]

Thanks Ninj.....

 

That is great news for everyone......m  .....

[[Ki...]]

Ninj - can you please go to the pharmacy every day and give us daily inspiration?  LOL

 

What a wonderful post!!!! This confirms everything I believe 

[[ni...]]

Kiddo,

 

I was driving past her Pharmacy on the way to the grocery store & she was closing up & I quickly pulled in to ask another

question because you always think of things after you leave & had to say "hey I promise I am not stalking you" haha" then

ask the question out of the window of my truck while she was getting in her car.

 

I am glad you guys found that inspirational, I sure did as well.  We all need this info to make things a little easier to accept.

 

Have a great evening, it's nite nite time for me.

 

Ninj