Losing friends

[[An...]]

I have lost so many friends from my Benzo taper. I’m starting to think the issue is me, but I have bent over backwards for these people in my life, and they have all neglected me/ for example I was unwell for a friends birthday. Didn’t think to send her a gift from constant insomnia and withdrawal and was struggling financially, and she’s failing to understand. It’s going with many friends failing to understand and not talking to me. Has anyone else lost any friends? Or had close ones not understand you. 

Edited April 27 by [An...]
Added

[[Ma...]]

I don’t think anyone understands what we’re going through and as we go through this we become extremely myopic by default.

People are living their lives and you need to give them grace to do so just as you have to give yourself grace to heal.

 If you had say, a broken leg that they could see it would be different but our injuries are invisible and extremely difficult to understand.

I have only seen 2-out of many-friends in 2 years. I am absolutely confident when I am able, and as my other friends have said, ‘ready’, they’ll be there and this will be in the distant past. An old friend I hadn’t seen for over a decade returned 3 years ago-prior to me getting sick-and we picked up where we had left. Like no distance had ever occurred. I know in my heart this will be the same.

Or, perhaps you are seeing colors of those you didn’t recognize in the past. Either way I hope you can use that energy to focus on you and your healing.

Jennifer Swantowski says it’s important to think about what is lost, what is left and what is possible. Try to focus on what is possible because when you think about it, you are going to be not only operating in a such, such higher level than you ever were while on these pills, you are also going to be happy. HAPPY and thriving!

[[WU...]]

Yes, a very long-standing friend, when I told him over the phone about the effects of the drug and how it had  badly affected me and that I was in a terrible state, really suffering, he seemed to switch off after a while and ended the call by saying he was very sorry but he needed to get some shopping in before the shops closed! I was flabberghasted. Its been over a year and I haven't heard from him since. This was someone who used to come and stay several times a year and we would go on walking trips together and we always had a good time.  Known him for at least 15 years or so.

I think the problem with us "benzoed" people is we come across as mental health cases and this scares people. Its not mental health its the bloody pills!  But I seriously doubt anyone is going to understand unless they've been through it themselves.

Never mind, fair weather friends and all that. Now is the time to be completely selfish, think of our own recovery first and all those so called friends can get stuffed as far as I'm concerned! 

[[TH...]]

I've lost most of my so called friends. One even said to me, 'you need to find new friends'....I was like, thanks 👍🏻 like someone said, no one absolutely understands what we're going through. But if you try and explain you sound like a hypochondriac. So you can't win. It's made me extremely lonely along with going through a difficult taper. We will get through it though! Sometimes we only have ourselves. 

[[An...]]

8 minutes ago, [[W...] said:

Yes, a very long-standing friend, when I told him over the phone about the effects of the drug and how it had  badly affected me and that I was in a terrible state, really suffering, he seemed to switch off after a while and ended the call by saying he was very sorry but he needed to get some shopping in before the shops closed! I was flabberghasted. Its been over a year and I haven't heard from him since. This was someone who used to come and stay several times a year and we would go on walking trips together and we always had a good time.  Known him for at least 15 years or so.

I think the problem with us "benzoed" people is we come across as mental health cases and this scares people. Its not mental health its the bloody pills!  But I seriously doubt anyone is going to understand unless they've been through it themselves.

Never mind, fair weather friends and all that. Now is the time to be completely selfish, think of our own recovery first and all those so called friends can get stuffed as far as I'm concerned! 

This hit very close to home I’m very sorry this is betrayal I’m glad his true colours came out 

[[An...]]

23 minutes ago, [[M...] said:

I don’t think anyone understands what we’re going through and as we go through this we become extremely myopic by default.

People are living their lives and you need to give them grace to do so just as you have to give yourself grace to heal.

 If you had say, a broken leg that they could see it would be different but our injuries are invisible and extremely difficult to understand.

I have only seen 2-out of many-friends in 2 years. I am absolutely confident when I am able, and as my other friends have said, ‘ready’, they’ll be there and this will be in the distant past. An old friend I hadn’t seen for over a decade returned 3 years ago-prior to me getting sick-and we picked up where we had left. Like no distance had ever occurred. I know in my heart this will be the same.

Or, perhaps you are seeing colors of those you didn’t recognize in the past. Either way I hope you can use that energy to focus on you and your healing.

Jennifer Swantowski says it’s important to think about what is lost, what is left and what is possible. Try to focus on what is possible because when you think about it, you are going to be not only operating in a such, such higher level than you ever were while on these pills, you are also going to be happy. HAPPY and thriving!

Yes I believe true colours are also coming out/ life has a funny way of revealing itself 

[[An...]]

2 minutes ago, [[T...] said:

I've lost most of my so called friends. One even said to me, 'you need to find new friends'....I was like, thanks 👍🏻 like someone said, no one absolutely understands what we're going through. But if you try and explain you sound like a hypochondriac. So you can't win. It's made me extremely lonely along with going through a difficult taper. We will get through it though! Sometimes we only have ourselves. 

Wow, yeah. I needed a refill for my script and was bed bound my friend was suppose to pick my script up. And just ghosted me. Lol

[[Hu...]]

I lost my gf. We had a good relationship, but the start of my anxiety disorder was the beginning of the end.  An ER phycisian prescribed me some pills to cope with the insomnia from anxiety.

I did not know anything about this class of medications.

For all ppl here I don't have to write about what withdrawal or just dependence does to your close relationships

But sickness also showed me the shortcomings and the things I want in a future partner, if it may be.

Edited April 27 by [Hu...]

[[kn...]]

My friends have always been people that I could go places with, eat with, drink with and keep up with.  With some, we'd hike for miles, others spent hours in the backyard with, eating BBQ and drinking wine or beer late into a summer's night.  Of course, I can't do any of those things these days.  All have moved on long ago. Some have listened to my story, but have found it a bit much to wrap their heads around or too limiting to continuing our relationship with.  I've found new friends, here on BB.  I've spent most of my time just like all of you folks; just trying to get through another day.  At least our yellow lab still likes me. He accepts whatever version of me is showing up that day.

[[An...]]

57 minutes ago, [[H...] said:

I lost my gf. We had a good relationship, but the start of my anxiety disorder was the beginning of the end.  An ER phycisian prescribed me some pills to cope with the insomnia from anxiety.

I did not know anything about this class of medications.

For all ppl here I don't have to write about what withdrawal or just dependence does to your close relationships

But sickness also showed me the shortcomings and the things I want in a future partner, if it may be.

I’m so sorry to hear this ! In sickness and in health. You didn’t lose her she lost you! Sending my love 

[[Hu...]]

13 minutes ago, [[A...] said:

I’m so sorry to hear this ! In sickness and in health. You didn’t lose her she lost you! Sending my love 

You get disconnected slowly and then suddenly something becomes too much. Then it's better to quit. I don't miss her anymore, I only miss the talking, hugs, cooking together. Things like that.

[[re...]]

Then they are not friends and just appeared to be. You will make knew ones. To hell with them. You will find better relationships then you ever have once on the other side of this. 

[[jo...]]

I'm only a few months out and I'm starting to notice the text messages etc diminishing. I think it's hard to stay connected with people when you feel like this. It's just naturally gonna happen. If your lucky you'll have a freind who gets it but most people just don't I'm starting to find. We'll make better friends on the other side!

[[Ca...]]

I have not seen my friends in two years. I used to walk with a lot of these friends or go to a movie, etc. Some still message me but overall they became tired I am sure of me not being able to do anything. And I just can't and that's the way it is. And it makes me feel sad and whenever I lose another one, the pain is palpable. 

[[it...]]

Youre not the only one, i lost many even my husband, from the beginning he called me a faker.. my wd is so intense i cant work anymore he sayd all the time while i feel like shit and sitting at home i had holiday.. wtf 

[[An...]]

On 28/04/2024 at 08:20, [[r...] said:

Then they are not friends and just appeared to be. You will make knew ones. To hell with them. You will find better relationships then you ever have once on the other side of this. 

“To hell with them” hahah you’re awesome 😎😎 thank you so much ! 

[[An...]]

21 hours ago, [[i...] said:

Youre not the only one, i lost many even my husband, from the beginning he called me a faker.. my wd is so intense i cant work anymore he sayd all the time while i feel like shit and sitting at home i had holiday.. wtf 

Wowww I’m so sorry that’s so hard my heart goes out to you 

[[An...]]

On 28/04/2024 at 12:15, [[C...] said:

I have not seen my friends in two years. I used to walk with a lot of these friends or go to a movie, etc. Some still message me but overall they became tired I am sure of me not being able to do anything. And I just can't and that's the way it is. And it makes me feel sad and whenever I lose another one, the pain is palpable. 

Same I start to think it’s my fault something better is waiting on the other side for us. We’ve got this 

[[An...]]

On 28/04/2024 at 09:23, [[j...] said:

I'm only a few months out and I'm starting to notice the text messages etc diminishing. I think it's hard to stay connected with people when you feel like this. It's just naturally gonna happen. If your lucky you'll have a freind who gets it but most people just don't I'm starting to find. We'll make better friends on the other side!

Yeah my best friend who was like a sister ghosted me at my lowest it’s very sad no one gets it unfortunately 

[[Ca...]]

I'm so sorry. I think we have to go within best we can and every time we lose a friend, continue to reach out here or on other appropriate forums to find a connection with someone new. This will end and you will have other friends.

[[He...]]

I lost all  also family so i dont know a single person in the world .Last thing i lost was my girlfriend and she took our dog with her .But i have jesus now and that is enough to keep me up.

[[re...]]

No one has a clue because they all have been brought up with the "trust your doctors" "pharma GOOD" they think just because someone gets a degree and can memorize tons of literature then they must be brilliant. This is soooo far from the truth unfortunately. Truly smart people learn from EVERYONE and not just books. Many.....dare it say it MOST doctors unfortunately are severely lacking in this. 

[[Le...]]

this is the worst part for me. go through absolute hell and torture for years then having noone left when you recover. 

 

hence my motto

fk drug pushing pseudoscientist pricks

[[An...]]

10 hours ago, [[L...] said:

this is the worst part for me. go through absolute hell and torture for years then having noone left when you recover. 

hence my motto

fk drug pushing pseudoscientist pricks

We have ourselves in better health we will make new friends 🫶❤️

[[WU...]]

2 hours ago, [[A...] said:

we will make new friends

And we will be much more discerning!