~~The Bedridden Club~~

[[La...]]

Big hugs to everyone Stitch, Zman, Dianne and WELCOME Plad! 

I’ve had the afraid to be alone during my first year. I know how that feels. I had to help myself get over it by pretending I was alone and congratulating myself for every hour. I kept telling myself “ nothing bad happened. You are alright. “ Just like all the other things….it’s a symptom. Time will take care of it. Now I can be alone anytime day or night. I’m not afraid. Do I like it? No, I hate being lonely but I can be alone without fear. I do my best to ignore all my symptoms to not give them a stage to perform on. You know what I mean? If I let them take center stage, I feel worse and feel down ( defeated). So I simply observe them….acknowledge they’re there then ignore them by distracting myself. So yeah I observe but don’t participate in it’s madness. I know, easier said than done but hey I try. Thankfully most of the time it works.

Plad, I also still have some sensitivity to light and sounds when I’m in a wave. I suffered with that a long time before it improved. I’m not saying that will be the case for you. So I invested in sound reducing ear plugs and a pair of shades. Those were my saving grace! 

Stitch I’m also back in my bed prison the past few days. Month 23 is rough so far. Rapid cycling of symptoms, waves more frequent and a bit more intense and symptoms increase in severity. Ughhhhh….I’ll be so glad when this is done healing. So, until it lets up again I’m watching Netflix and game shows. I hope you’re feeling better today.

Dianne you’re right when we’re in the peak of a wave it is hard to be positive. This crap robs us of that. But I fight for my joy as much as possible. I’m so angry at this whole ordeal that I’m refusing to let it take all my joy. It has taken enough as it is! Nope not today! I pray you find some joy too that you can hold on to.

Praying for quick smooth healing for us all. Remember that our job is to get through today. Hugs 🤗

[[Th...]]

Thanks LadyDen. Lets hang in there. This is quite a ride!

 

Zman

Hang in there. I know you hit a rough patch inside of a rough patch.

[[La...]]

Thanks LadyDen. Lets hang in there. This is quite a ride!

 

Zman

Hang in there. I know you hit a rough patch inside of a rough patch.

 

[[Th...]]

Worried because this thread has been quiet. How are people doing?

[[La...]]

I can't wait too long unfortunately. Im not gonna watch my life fall apart in front of me and also watch other people see me suffer. Im going to try to go back into society and function or pretend to. if i fail then atleast i know i gave it a try and i can gove up knowing i tried

That’s a good attitude to have. I’ve been there, Plad. I was sensitive to everything too and my bed was my safe place as well as my prison. So I totally understand what you mean. I’m wishing you happy healing speedily. With time the sensitivity will get better. Hugs 🤗

[[La...]]

Zman Stitch Dianne Plad and all who are bedridden I pray today is a more manageable day. Stay strong and be your own advocate. If you can’t do something then that’s ok…it can wait. Keep the stress low low low. Sending my love to you all. Big hugs 🤗

 

Stitch and Dianne…..Sage has computer issues as well as COVID again. She asked me to reach out to you to let you know.

[[Th...]]

Your well wishes are so appreciated lady den. Thank you for keeping me in the loop.

[[Di...]]

Thank you Ladyden for keeping us updated.  Praying for Sage.❤

 

[[Th...]]

Has anyone heard from Zman?

[[Di...]]

Stitch I've been wondering about Zman too I'm glad you asked.  I hope someone has an update or maybe he will be back on.

 

How are you doing?

 

Also anyone have an update on Sage?

 

Hugs and prayers for everyone ❤🙏🙏

[[La...]]

Yes I’m concerned too about Zman. Hopefully he’ll check in soon.

Wishing you all a better day.

 

Here’s a beautiful quote I’d like to share….

 

You survived yesterday because you decided, perhaps unconsciously, that it wasn’t a choice. You had to get through it to see what tomorrow may bring……all you have to do now that you know you can get through it, is repeat!

 

:smitten:

[[Di...]]

Hi Ladyden,

Thank you the quote is beautiful!  I hope you are seeing improvements. ❤

[[La...]]

Hi Ladyden,

Thank you the quote is beautiful!  I hope you are seeing improvements. ❤

Hello Dianne I pray you’re doing better too. Thank you sweetheart!

[[Th...]]

Stitch I've been wondering about Zman too I'm glad you asked.  I hope someone has an update or maybe he will be back on.

 

How are you doing?

 

Also anyone have an update on Sage?

 

Hugs and prayers for everyone ❤🙏🙏

I am ok. I wish this anhedonia would lighten more. I would love to have positive motivation to do something. It would make distraction easier.

My symptoms were acting up. I wish we could pick the next symptom to get better.

 

I have been trying vitamin C. No negative side effects so far.

 

How things going on your end?

 

 

Hello lady den

That was a lovely quote. Just got to keep going.

[[Di...]]

Ladyden thank you.  I'm having a lot of benzo belly or histamine issues very uncomfortable.

 

Hi Stitch I am so sorry the anhedonia is so bad.

 

That's great that you aren't having any issues with vitamin C do you think its helping with the histamine?

 

Hugs and prayers for everyone 

[[Th...]]

Ladyden thank you.  I'm having a lot of benzo belly or histamine issues very uncomfortable.

 

Hi Stitch I am so sorry the anhedonia is so bad.

 

That's great that you aren't having any issues with vitamin C do you think its helping with the histamine?

 

Hugs and prayers for everyone 

It's hard to tell, but I think so. I still have histamine issues but it is easier to get food down with the vitamin C. I started with 50mg and am about to 250mg a day. I take 50mg every so often throughout the day.

 

I feel for you on the benzo belly. Have you been able to maintain weight?

[[Di...]]

Hi Stitch,

Oh I so hope the vit C is helping you.  I'm glad you have been able to eat.

 

Thank you yes I finally got to a point where my weight is maintaining.  It was scary for awhile I just kept losing.

 

Hope your day is going not too bad.

Hugs and prayers ❤

[[La...]]

Stitch I've been wondering about Zman too I'm glad you asked.  I hope someone has an update or maybe he will be back on.

 

How are you doing?

 

Also anyone have an update on Sage?

 

Hugs and prayers for everyone ❤🙏🙏

I am ok. I wish this anhedonia would lighten more. I would love to have positive motivation to do something. It would make distraction easier.

My symptoms were acting up. I wish we could pick the next symptom to get better.

 

I have been trying vitamin C. No negative side effects so far.

 

How things going on your end?

 

 

Hello lady den

That was a lovely quote. Just got to keep going.

Stitch I’d like to encourage you to keep trying sweetheart. I’ve had to fake my way through my symptoms to get over the humps of feeling stuck. This might sound strange but I didn’t go to positive at first…I set my goal for neutral. I started telling my brain when I did something that it made me happy. Simple congratulating my brain for simply cooperating even if it’s just a little. For example….when I could take a sponge bath, when I was finished I’d tell my brain “ you did well. We didn’t fall and we’re happy to be clean. Now we will rest as our reward.”  It sounds silly but it made a huge difference in many ways to combat some of the negativity our brains generate. Talk to your brain 

“ we can do this”  “ well done”.  “ you are brave/ strong/ a good warrior”  I started paying attention to things that looked pretty - color of grass, birds, trees, flowers, clouds, etc and saying out loud what I appreciated about them and reminding myself of what about them made me happy. I also started a gratitude journal. I had to write down three things that made me happy that day. In my case, most of those days one of the three was that I walked to the kitchen but didn’t fall down. I know getting past it is easier said than done. I just wanted to share what helped me. As I took away the stage for my negative thoughts to perform that’s when I made the shift. Sometimes I had to yell at them to SHUT UP! When I felt empty I grabbed for anything that I could to get joy from it. My main go to was God or nature.

I’m happy the vitamin C is working for you. I get mine through fruits. I’ll be eating cantaloupe for my breakfast or lunch today. Thanks for the reminder 

Sending you big hugs and love. Stitch you ARE awesome! 🥰🌹

[[La...]]

Ladyden thank you.  I'm having a lot of benzo belly or histamine issues very uncomfortable.

 

Hi Stitch I am so sorry the anhedonia is so bad.

 

That's great that you aren't having any issues with vitamin C do you think its helping with the histamine?

 

Hugs and prayers for everyone 

Ewwwwwww girl I know that feeling. Benzo belly had me looking 7 months pregnant for a few months. I still get it off and on but wayyyyyy milder than I used to. And it doesn’t last as long. Only a couple of hours now. Hang in there dear! It will get better soon.

🥰🙏🌹

[[Th...]]

Stitch I've been wondering about Zman too I'm glad you asked.  I hope someone has an update or maybe he will be back on.

 

How are you doing?

 

Also anyone have an update on Sage?

 

Hugs and prayers for everyone ❤🙏🙏

I am ok. I wish this anhedonia would lighten more. I would love to have positive motivation to do something. It would make distraction easier.

My symptoms were acting up. I wish we could pick the next symptom to get better.

 

I have been trying vitamin C. No negative side effects so far.

 

How things going on your end?

 

 

Hello lady den

That was a lovely quote. Just got to keep going.

Stitch I’d like to encourage you to keep trying sweetheart. I’ve had to fake my way through my symptoms to get over the humps of feeling stuck. This might sound strange but I didn’t go to positive at first…I set my goal for neutral. I started telling my brain when I did something that it made me happy. Simple congratulating my brain for simply cooperating even if it’s just a little. For example….when I could take a sponge bath, when I was finished I’d tell my brain “ you did well. We didn’t fall and we’re happy to be clean. Now we will rest as our reward.”  It sounds silly but it made a huge difference in many ways to combat some of the negativity our brains generate. Talk to your brain 

“ we can do this”  “ well done”.  “ you are brave/ strong/ a good warrior”  I started paying attention to things that looked pretty - color of grass, birds, trees, flowers, clouds, etc and saying out loud what I appreciated about them and reminding myself of what about them made me happy. I also started a gratitude journal. I had to write down three things that made me happy that day. In my case, most of those days one of the three was that I walked to the kitchen but didn’t fall down. I know getting past it is easier said than done. I just wanted to share what helped me. As I took away the stage for my negative thoughts to perform that’s when I made the shift. Sometimes I had to yell at them to SHUT UP! When I felt empty I grabbed for anything that I could to get joy from it. My main go to was God or nature.

I’m happy the vitamin C is working for you. I get mine through fruits. I’ll be eating cantaloupe for my breakfast or lunch today. Thanks for the reminder 

Sending you big hugs and love. Stitch you ARE awesome! 🥰🌹

Thanks you real gave me hope! It's good to know that not being able to feel positive is a thing others had to go through. What I mean is I don't feel like the only one who can't appreciate a beautiful day, even though I know it is beautiful. That makes me sad. So you would acknowledge that it was there and something to be grateful for even though you did not feel it or the gratitude?

Right now I can feel neutral which I call the new good. 

But I haven't felt joy for awhile. But I do agree not falling or being able to eat is something I should be happy for. And though I do not feel it, it is still something I look forward to happening. I will try talking to my brain more than it talks to me. It's the best liar I know.

Your 'You are awesome' words made me feel like I got a hug.

 

 

Ewwwwwww girl I know that feeling. Benzo belly had me looking 7 months pregnant for a few months. I still get it off and on but wayyyyyy milder than I used to. And it doesn’t last as long. Only a couple of hours now. Hang in there dear! It will get better soon.

Right? I look so silly being this skinny and bloated 

I am glad it is milder now.

[[Th...]]

Hi Stitch,

Oh I so hope the vit C is helping you.  I'm glad you have been able to eat.

 

Thank you yes I finally got to a point where my weight is maintaining.  It was scary for awhile I just kept losing.

 

Hope your day is going not too bad.

Hugs and prayers ❤

Thank you. It still seem to be helping.

 

I'm excited your weight is steady.  I wanted to send you a high five when I read that.

It really is scary when it goes down.

[[Di...]]

Thank you Ladyden you are our cheerleader 🥰

 

Thank you Stitch.  I am so happy for you that the vit C is helping.  Yes losing so much weight is really scary.

Hang in there ❤

[[La...]]

Stitch and Dianne you’re both welcome. There’s no way I’m going to not do what I can to give back the love, support, advice and friendship I was given. Where else in the entire world can we go for help with our issues? Only here. IMO. Yes there a couple of other blogs/ forums but not to this extent. Most of the people here are nice people who are just suffering like us. The ones before us left their path marks for us to follow as well as advice/ hope/ proof. To me, this is the hardest most cruelest most debilitating experience of my life. Believe me when I tell you, I have had some serious trauma in my life. So bad that I should be insane or dead….but I’m not by the grace of God! To give you an idea, I’m from Louisiana. I’ve lost family members back to back. While going through this I’ve been abandoned and divorced…etc etc. I’m not saying any of that for to be pitied. Someone somewhere has had it worse than me. There’s people whose floor is a dirt ground and ceiling is a sky as well as don’t know when the next time they’ll eat or have clean water to drink. So I’m not complaining. This is about strength and perseverance. Regardless of what we think or feel we certainly have those. Otherwise we wouldn’t make it from day to day. Honestly that’s all that this requires….day after day to add up. What’s so hard is those days are many. Those days contain waves of symptoms. Those days don’t generate expedient healing. It’s tiny bits accumulated over time so it tells a lie that we are permanently like this or we will not heal. It robs us of our reasoning mechanisms that 2+2 is 4 even if it looks like 5! We get a window of relief (2) and start to do things even symptomatic (2) that means healing is happening (4). When the waves crash again or we get a setback (5) we think we haven’t healed at all and never will. And rightly so because it sucks! We feel like crap. So debilitated. Our friends and family pull away. Others who don’t understand this thinks we are nuts because we look ok outside. Even our doctors don’t believe it. If we’re not careful, we will begin to think they’re right. But, all of us know in our hearts those pills did this! I feel like the old us gets put on a shelf. We’ve got to go take who we are down off that shelf to fight our way back as we heal. It doesn’t look good. Doesn’t feel good. But we can do this! We ARE doing this! Getting knocked down is part of our journey. The players in a basketball game get knocked down but they get up. They keep playing until the game is over. Our healing process works the same way. A setback or upticks knocks us down but we will get up to continue until it’s over. And just like that game, we’ll never have to do this again    Thank God! Love to you all ❤️❤️❤️

[[Th...]]

Stitch and Dianne you’re both welcome. There’s no way I’m going to not do what I can to give back the love, support, advice and friendship I was given. Where else in the entire world can we go for help with our issues? Only here. IMO. Yes there a couple of other blogs/ forums but not to this extent. Most of the people here are nice people who are just suffering like us. The ones before us left their path marks for us to follow as well as advice/ hope/ proof. To me, this is the hardest most cruelest most debilitating experience of my life. Believe me when I tell you, I have had some serious trauma in my life. So bad that I should be insane or dead….but I’m not by the grace of God! To give you an idea, I’m from Louisiana. I’ve lost family members back to back. While going through this I’ve been abandoned and divorced…etc etc. I’m not saying any of that for to be pitied. Someone somewhere has had it worse than me. There’s people whose floor is a dirt ground and ceiling is a sky as well as don’t know when the next time they’ll eat or have clean water to drink. So I’m not complaining. This is about strength and perseverance. Regardless of what we think or feel we certainly have those. Otherwise we wouldn’t make it from day to day. Honestly that’s all that this requires….day after day to add up. What’s so hard is those days are many. Those days contain waves of symptoms. Those days don’t generate expedient healing. It’s tiny bits accumulated over time so it tells a lie that we are permanently like this or we will not heal. It robs us of our reasoning mechanisms that 2+2 is 4 even if it looks like 5! We get a window of relief (2) and start to do things even symptomatic (2) that means healing is happening (4). When the waves crash again or we get a setback (5) we think we haven’t healed at all and never will. And rightly so because it sucks! We feel like crap. So debilitated. Our friends and family pull away. Others who don’t understand this thinks we are nuts because we look ok outside. Even our doctors don’t believe it. If we’re not careful, we will begin to think they’re right. But, all of us know in our hearts those pills did this! I feel like the old us gets put on a shelf. We’ve got to go take who we are down off that shelf to fight our way back as we heal. It doesn’t look good. Doesn’t feel good. But we can do this! We ARE doing this! Getting knocked down is part of our journey. The players in a basketball game get knocked down but they get up. They keep playing until the game is over. Our healing process works the same way. A setback or upticks knocks us down but we will get up to continue until it’s over. And just like that game, we’ll never have to do this again    Thank God! Love to you all ❤️❤️❤️

 

You summed it up!

I don't know how you managed it. You are a great example of perseverance. You are giving an example that there is hope and possibilities. I hope I can give back someday. I don't know what you have in your spirit but it looks powerful from where I am at. I am glad we have you here (sorry you had to be here)

[[Di...]]

Ladyden thank I second what Stitch said!  We are so blessed to have your encouragement.

❤