~~The Bedridden Club~~

[[Fi...]]

Yes, the anesthesia and probably surgery caused a huge problem for me.

 

I'm glad things shifted so that you were able to start with a phone game. I remember the first year in my tapering (I tapered for two years) I was able to start watching Will.ans Grace.  Now I can't watch anything.

 

I am also on here constantly after being away.

 

I worry that all my previous 17 months of healing before this setback is wiped away. Makes me very sad.

 

 

[[La...]]

Final it is NOT wiped away. What helped me is to look at it as climbing a hill. Sometimes you have to go back down a step or two to climb up a better way  But that doesn’t mean you’ve lost all the climb you’ve already done, does it? Let’s say you’re half way up the there and you had to climb back down a few steps to scoot over to a different path to go up. Did those couple of steps put you back on the ground? No, not at all. 

 

🧗‍♀️ keep climbing 🧗‍♀️ The way you feel now will not necessarily be the way it is tomorrow or next week. It’s temporary and actually there’s a reason for it. You had surgery. I wouldn’t be surprised in no time soon you’ll be back to feeling better.

Hugs 🤗

[[Fi...]]

Final it is NOT wiped away. What helped me is to look at it as climbing a hill. Sometimes you have to go back down a step or two to climb up a better way  But that doesn’t mean you’ve lost all the climb you’ve already done, does it? Let’s say you’re half way up the there and you had to climb back down a few steps to scoot over to a different path to go up. Did those couple of steps put you back on the ground? No, not at all. 

 

🧗‍♀️ keep climbing 🧗‍♀️ The way you feel now will not necessarily be the way it is tomorrow or next week. It’s temporary and actually there’s a reason for it. You had surgery. I wouldn’t be surprised in no time soon you’ll be back to feeling better.

Hugs 🤗

 

Thank you so much Lady Den. I had a good foundation so I was hoping it was still there.

 

I start treatments this week and its the lease of my worries. Healing my mind is my top priority.

 

 

Final

[[La...]]

You’re in my thoughts Final. 🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏

It will be alright. Go in there to get your treatment with a positive calm foundation. 

[[Th...]]

Checking in. How is everyone holding up?

[[Fi...]]

I'm still very depressed in my setback.

If that could shift some, I would be so happy.

I'm 19 months off of my benzo but it doesn't feel like a celebration since I am now mainly in bed in griefand despair.

 

I did install a solitaire game on my phone and have been playing it but I don't feel anything.

 

I am able to walk around my apartment but my mood is so low right now that that's all I can focus on.

I'm about 48 days into the setback. I'm hoping for just a little shift in the next couple of weeks.

 

Final

[[La...]]

Final yes it will shift. You’re getting repair work done in the brain. It’s a good thing even though it’s tough. I’m getting hit with some rough waves too off and on. That’s how it heals. 

 

Hope you enjoy the day and keep distractions and walking. I’m walking in my apartment too everyday. I go outside when my balance is stable enough. The point is to keep it moving.

Big hugs 🤗

[[Li...]]

Thank you for your post and again its good to hear that you are improving.

 

The mental symptoms are very bad. Its hard for me to watch anything and because I have anhedonia, I can't feel joy or pleasure. Watching things is very hard right now. I have watched old game shows but had to stop. I will try doing more distracting things again.

 

I'm so glad you said we heal. I use to know that having had 17 months of healing and recovery. Now it's hard for me to remember. 

 

I'm glad this group is somewhat active.

 

PS I'm sorry I'm so down in my posts but I need to share my truth somewhere.

 

Hi Final,

I also have anhedonia, for 20 years I have no emotions, I never feel happy, i never am sad. I am completely flat. It makes live a hell. I still can enjoy food and also taking a shower. I listen a lot to music, but it easily bores me, I have no feelings with music. Something I remembered I had in the past. It could make me happy then.

How long do you have it? Is there something that helps you?

Hugggs Jerry

[[Fi...]]

Thank you for your post and again its good to hear that you are improving.

 

The mental symptoms are very bad. Its hard for me to watch anything and because I have anhedonia, I can't feel joy or pleasure. Watching things is very hard right now. I have watched old game shows but had to stop. I will try doing more distracting things again.

 

I'm so glad you said we heal. I use to know that having had 17 months of healing and recovery. Now it's hard for me to remember. 

 

I'm glad this group is somewhat active.

 

PS I'm sorry I'm so down in my posts but I need to share my truth somewhere.

 

Hi Final,

I also have annedonia, for 20 years I have no emotions, I never feel happy, i never am sad. I am completely flat. It makes live a hell. I still can enjoy food and also taking a shower. I listen a lot to music, but it easily bores me, I have no feelings with music. Something I remembered I had in the past. It could make me happy then.

How long do you have it? Is there something that helps you?

Hugggs Jerry

 

I'm sorry you have struggled with anhedonia. This is the first time I have really had it though it may be just a bad, bad depression due to my set back. I am waiting to see when the depression lifts, if it ever will, what lies underneath.

[[Fi...]]

Final yes it will shift. You’re getting repair work done in the brain. It’s a good thing even though it’s tough. I’m getting hit with some rough waves too off and on. That’s how it heals. 

 

Hope you enjoy the day and keep distractions and walking. I’m walking in my apartment too everyday. I go outside when my balance is stable enough. The point is to keep it moving.

Big hugs 🤗

 

Thank you. Right now I have medication indused agoraphobia so I haven't been out. However, I'm starting radiation treatments today and for the next two weeks so I will out for that.

 

Thank you for your support. This setback has crushed me in so many ways. Trying to keep going till something shifts.

[[Th...]]

hey final. I know setbacks can be devastating. Depression lifting can do can improve anhedonia.

 

Since my normal coping methods couldn't work any more I developed bad coping skills that kinda did.

As for anhedonia, I stop checking my feelings. It felt like punching myself. So stopping that helped a bit.

 

Learning not to think took a bit. Got me through until I could function emotionally again. (anxiety fear depression)

 

[[Fi...]]

hey final. I know setbacks can be devastating. Depression lifting can do can improve anhedonia.

 

Since my normal coping methods couldn't work any more I developed bad coping skills that kinda did.

As for anhedonia, I stop checking my feelings. It felt like punching myself. So stopping that helped a bit.

 

Learning not to think took a bit. Got me through until I could function emotionally again. (anxiety fear depression)

 

Thank you, its encouraging that you now feel again.

 

 

[[La...]]

Final I’ll be thinking of you as you get your treatments! Big hugs! 

[[Fi...]]

Thank you. I had my first one yesterday and have 14 to go.

It was a hard day because I didn't sleep the night before despite taking my sleep med (still breaks my heart to be on it).

 

They are being very nice to me and I come across as a lunatic because I have to have my husband with me up until I walk in the treatment room.

 

The setback continues with the depression and grief with me daily. I keep saying this and will continue to, if the depression would lift a bit, I would feel more hopeful.

 

I've cleaned the bathroom and straightned up the living room. Still a long day ahead of me.

 

Thank you so much for checking in on me.

[[La...]]

Well done Final. It may have not gone perfectly but you made it. Perhaps you’d like to try some calming meditation before you go to treatment. During your treatment and on the way home. It’s great that you are finding things to do at home to keep moving and distracted. It’s ok for now if you have to take something to sleep. In your situation sleep is important to heal and for your immune system to handle treatments. Please don’t feel bad about doing what you need to do for yourself. It’s awesome your hubby is by your side. You’re very welcome for my support. Stay strong and stay positive as possible. Here’s something that has helped me…..

 

“ We hang on to our issues in life when all God wants us to do is give them to him. He knows he didn’t create us to fight our own battles and win. So, that’s why he fought them long ago reigning victorious! So give all your woes to the GUARANTEE winner….HIM! “

 

“ Time is a beloved friend for those willing to wait. “

 

“ Today is not the day to give up! The rule states that you can only do that tomorrow. Every morning, repeat it!”

[[Th...]]

Hi everyone, I know it's been a quiet here. I hope that mean things have improved for people.

 

For about a month I haven't left my bed. I don't know if WD is making me depressed and hopeless or if it is a symptom. I think it's that I haven't had any improvements the last 3 months. My brain has gone into 'what is the point mode'.

At first I thought I'll just lay here and wait it out. That is not looking promising right now. Then I tried the nutritionist. She is very nice, but enzymes do not seems to be working. I've been looking at functional medicine doctors. But I can't tell the decent ones from the "quack" ones.

Also given Vitamin D. Which I'm scared to take because it's a hormone.

 

Just getting myself to eat has been a huge effort. Really I guess it comes down to being discouraged that nothing has improved in three months.

 

I don't want to make things worse, but feel like I'm not helping myself and should do something. but I don't know where to spend what energy I have.

 

[[Di...]]

Hi Stitch,

I am so sorry you are having such a hard time.  My heart goes out to you I wish I had some answers.  I hope you can find a good functional doctor.  This journey we are on is cruel and should not be happening.  Hang on tight it has to get better.

Sending you hugs and prayers🤗🙏

[[Be...]]

Stitch, aren't you still on some other powerful drugs?  Maybe that's what's keeping you down? 

[[La...]]

Hello everyone! Sending hugs and love to those of us still in bed. No matter if it’s part of the day or most.

Stitch I’m not doing well either. I’m finding myself in bed resting through my now rougher waves. I’m not up and around much as I was just a little over a week ago. It really sucks. I’m having new symptoms and more intense waves. Not fun! I’m turning 28 months in two days. So I understand how you feel. This is wearing us down after it’s been so long. I hope things lift for us both very very soon. I’m thinking of you.

❤️🌹

[[La...]]

Hugs to all the bedridden buddies! Just popped in to say I’m thinking of you. As of last week I’m back in bed due to being hit with waves that I think are just a 28 month slam. At this timeframe, it’s a common occurrence. Hopefully it will be short lived and I’ll be back to walking around more again. I want to clarify that I CAN still get up to walk around to do whatever I need to do. But my waves are more intense and more often so as everyone knows….when it happens you camp out in bed or on a couch most of the day. So far it’s been nearly a week. This isn’t the way I wanted my 28 months but here I am.

Big hugs and hope you all are doing better especially getting up walking around more.

 

[[Di...]]

Hi Ladyden,

I just wanted to say Hi and that I hope the wave has eased up for you.  You always brighten our day with your encouragement at and I wanted to send you a hug. 🤗🤗🤗

[[Th...]]

Lady Den, I am sorry to hear this and hope it passes for you quickly. I hope if you hunker down and get past you will see marvelous healing.

 

Everyone thank you so much for your support. I had to rant and you all took it with grace and gave me a boost. I have to stop typing for today because my hands hurt. But I pray everyone will feel better ❤️

[[La...]]

Diane and Stitch I really appreciate the support. I hope you both are doing well. Things have let up a little bit but not back to where I was. You both are wonderful friends and I want nothing more than to see us all healed. To write our success stories very soon. I look forward to that day. Have you both thought about what you’ll write? Lately it’s been on my mind. I’m hoping that means it’s coming up. Wow I surely pray it is!

Warm hugs and love 💕❤️💗

[[Th...]]

That I feel good again and my body is putting on weight. I'll be with family. Maybeee draw a thing or two.

 

I hope your story is just around the corner. I'll be so excited the day I see it and count myself thankful to have seen you recover! Im so glad your symptoms have lifted a bit. I wish I could chase the rest of them out with a broom. Just sweep them away.

[[La...]]

Stitch that was so sweet. Thank you lovely! I can’t wait to read yours too. It will be epic!