The Long Hold Support Group

[[Ma...]]

I need to just vent tonight, it's of course my raging alcoholic son. He is drunk out of his mind and he has said the cruelest most vicious things that have ever come out of his mouth to his sister and of course me. I don't want anything more to do with this. I don't want my son in my life anymore, I never in a million years thought I could ever say or think such a thing but I can't take it anymore. I don't know how to see my daughter in law and grandson without him. He won't allow it I'm sure but I need to shut the door on him, I am beaten down from all the years of alcoholics in my life and I'm 55 yrs old and don't want to spend one more minute of my life in this hell . I will be tapering again in just about 3 weeks and I can't have this stress while doing that. I'm so tired of him upsetting me and other family members..I really need to go to alanon but I am so tired after work I just want to end my day by at least 6:00 every night. I just want a quiet, relatively uneventful life but just can't seem to get that. My husband who is 61 yrs old feels responsible bc he is a recovering alcoholic and thinks if he didn't drink all those yrs ago my son wouldn't be where he is right now. I have that feeling again of just wanting to run and run as fast and as far away as I can but I can not I'm trapped by responsibility and I couldn't bare not ever seeing my grandchildren again they are the reason I keep going at all. I know you all have listened to this broken record of mine before and I'm sorry to dump it here but I don't like talking about these things to my friends. I keep personal things like this to myself when I'm at work or talking to friends. As you all know I have faith in his but tonight I feel distant from him or could it be that he's just not there for me..

 

Sorry for the rant..I love you all..

 

Trishy, both my parents were alcoholics.  My father was a mean alcoholic.  He sobered up 20 years before he passed away and I was very grateful for that and the relationship before he died.  But he was mean, so I know the hateful, spiteful things they can say.  I was an alcoholic until I was 35, I wasn't mean but I was a drunk until about 25, then my drinking became more sporadic.  But I never drank without the intention of getting drunk.  He will not sober up until he hits rock bottom.  That stuff is hard love.  Yout husband is doing him no favors, it is just helping drag it out.  I don't know what to do about your grandchildren.  That would be a really good question at al anon, are there any groups online?    It is tough, dying from cirrhosis of the liver, which my aunt did, is a horrible death.  It is genetic, but your husband is not to blame, but I think all parent that have sobered up feel guilty.  It's a terrible situation.  I love you, you are going through enough, I wish I could help more

The cheese in your cake, Mary☮️🙏💜🐕🐾

 

[[Tr...]]

Just popping in. Have not been on in a while. Trish, enjoyed reading about your trip to NYC ... yesterday was such a gorgeous day to visit the City. I live 15 minutes from NYC but we don't go in enough.

 

Things here continue to be the same. My son had more tests and everything came back normal. So the doctor is really not sure what is going on. He has not felt well at all this week and had bad diarrhea yesterday. My heart is sinking over all this as I am beginning to realize that unless he miraculously feels better soon, there is no way he will be able to participate in his spring sport with practices that begin in late February. Late February is not that far away. He is also having his oral surgery over the Christmas break which will cause more weight loss I am sure.

 

I have also had a rough week ... incredibly bad nausea last Sunday and Monday, almost had to leave work early on Monday as I thought I was going to get sick at work. It was also the 3rd anniversary of my dad's death this week, which is still hard to deal with. I get scared sometime thinking this could be me being in tolerance from the K and the hold but there is no way I could muster the strength to taper right now. I feel like I am barely holding on as it is.

 

Stut, I thank you for still including me in your morning greeting. Hope you enjoy your visit with your daughter. And I hope everyone is doing as well as they can.

Holding you in thought and prayer NJ, you're a good mom and a courageous one at that. Stay strong my friend. I have no doubt that you'll do whatever it takes to get your son through this.. Sometimes as mom's we feel like the pain of our children is going to kill us but somehow we find the strength to keep on going, we just figure it out somehow...one day all this pain and suffering will be a distant memory and I'm praying that day comes soon for you..

Love and hugs,

Trish

 

[[Tr...]]

Morning SS an award for singing very impressive l have won awards also but that was a long time ago.l do regret not going to get trained but l didn't have the confidence to do that.l still sing but for myself it is always a comfort to me whether it is for those around me l am not so sure 😂.

  Love and hugs Stut X

Oh dear Stut and all!

I did not win an award for singing -- quite the contrary!  No one would award me for anything other than getting off a stage 

But i did win some singing lessons in a charity auction!    Maybe that will switch things up a bit for me

 

I hope you day goes well!

:smitten:

SS

Way to go SS! American idol here she comes!

[[Tr...]]

I need to just vent tonight, it's of course my raging alcoholic son. He is drunk out of his mind and he has said the cruelest most vicious things that have ever come out of his mouth to his sister and of course me. I don't want anything more to do with this. I don't want my son in my life anymore, I never in a million years thought I could ever say or think such a thing but I can't take it anymore. I don't know how to see my daughter in law and grandson without him. He won't allow it I'm sure but I need to shut the door on him, I am beaten down from all the years of alcoholics in my life and I'm 55 yrs old and don't want to spend one more minute of my life in this hell . I will be tapering again in just about 3 weeks and I can't have this stress while doing that. I'm so tired of him upsetting me and other family members..I really need to go to alanon but I am so tired after work I just want to end my day by at least 6:00 every night. I just want a quiet, relatively uneventful life but just can't seem to get that. My husband who is 61 yrs old feels responsible bc he is a recovering alcoholic and thinks if he didn't drink all those yrs ago my son wouldn't be where he is right now. I have that feeling again of just wanting to run and run as fast and as far away as I can but I can not I'm trapped by responsibility and I couldn't bare not ever seeing my grandchildren again they are the reason I keep going at all. I know you all have listened to this broken record of mine before and I'm sorry to dump it here but I don't like talking about these things to my friends. I keep personal things like this to myself when I'm at work or talking to friends. As you all know I have faith in his but tonight I feel distant from him or could it be that he's just not there for me..

 

Sorry for the rant..I love you all..

 

Trishy, both my parents were alcoholics.  My father was a mean alcoholic.  He sobered up 20 years before he passed away and I was very grateful for that and the relationship before he died.  But he was mean, so I know the hateful, spiteful things they can say.  I was an alcoholic until I was 35, I wasn't mean but I was a drunk until about 25, then my drinking became more sporadic.  But I never drank without the intention of getting drunk.  He will not sober up until he hits rock bottom.  That stuff is hard love.  Yout husband is doing him no favors, it is just helping drag it out.  I don't know what to do about your grandchildren.  That would be a really good question at al anon, are there any groups online?    It is tough, dying from cirrhosis of the liver, which my aunt did, is a horrible death.  It is genetic, but your husband is not to blame, but I think all parent that have sobered up feel guilty.  It's a terrible situation.  I love you, you are going through enough, I wish I could help more

The cheese in your cake, Mary☮️🙏💜🐕🐾

I love you Mary and thank you for sharing all that with me. You truly are so sweet..

I'm sorry you had an alcoholic father, me too and it was hell. I just want it all to stop, I'm fatigued from battling this disease in other's and even though I know I can't help my son or make him stop, this demon as I often call it has dogged me my entire life, I just want it over. 

Writing all that to me has helped, reminds me that we are all only too human and to put it bluntly shit happens..

I'll be ok though..I fall down but I always get back up, years of experience doing it..

 

Big ginormous hugs to you!

The chocolate in your pudding,

Trish :smitten:

 

[[Tr...]]

No apologies needed. Get it out so it doesn't poison you as your son's hurtful words do. ♥

Hi Val, thank you and welcome..

Love and hugs,

Trish

[[Va...]]

Trishy

 

No problem.

 

And drunks run in my family... right to the bar and bottles. Both parents, sibs, back to grandfathers on both sides, grandmother on one. My mother gave it up but my dad just took a 15-year break, 'a dry drunk,' never sorry, never said it, went back to the bottle(s) after my mother died, and we don't talk; I went to see him for his 81st birthday, he was drunk--steady, driving... and tried getting me there. No thanks. My life is better without him.

 

It's tougher with a child who has your grandchild(ren) as hostage so to speak. I'm sorry you're going through this, and you're right, shit happens to us all--so many estranged family members, sometimes because of alcohol and drugs, sometimes because of mental disorders, sometimes just because the line of not being loved got started and continued through the generations.

 

I'm grateful my husband and I don't drink, that we love and respect each other, been together 30 years now.

 

Count every blessing, and pass 'em on. We all need to vent and to share the good times, too.

 

Goodnight hug to you.

[[Su...]]

So many poignant posts to catch up on! 

It's a work day for me and I'm knackered....

See you all tomorrow when I'll read....

:smitten:

SS

How could anyone be angry with you Mary?  You are kindness personified.....

:smitten:

[[St...]]

Good morning Begood Cant Heath Mary Trish Miyu Bluepill Gard Free Intend NJ SS TMB Green Deep Nova Barbara Olive Ginger Cally Battle Esperanza Anu Gilly Milli Val Hope and all here sending you my love and support hopefully today will be a better day.

  Love and hugs Stut X

[[St...]]

Morning Trish l am so sorry to hear you are feeling so trapped and hurt by your son's behaviour.l know that feeling of wanting to run away l have had that so many times but there is nowhere to run to.

  Personally l think your son needs a good kick up the ass but sadly it wouldn't work.I feel so sorry for his children they are the victims in this and perhaps his wife should get out before they are harmed anymore by him.

  I am sorry Trish l would actually think that perhaps he needs to see that everyone isn't always going to be there for him and then he may have to take responsibility and seek treatment.

  I hope l haven't offended you my love but l am hoping with the right incentive your son would get the help he really needs.

  Try to have a better day my lovely sister and keep your chin up.

  Love and hugs Stut X

[[St...]]

Morning Gilly l hope today is better for you and you can feel a little less frightened.

  I am not surprised you felt disturbed when you misinterpreted what l had written l would have as well.The thing is when we write posts it makes absolute sense to us but the reader can see it totally differently.l am glad you responded so l could clarify what I meant.

  Love and hugs Stut X

[[St...]]

Morning Lady Mary how did it go with the doctor yesterday?l hope she was pleased with your progress.Keep at the exercises.

  Love you my lady Mary.

  Love and hugs Stut X

[[St...]]

Morning Esperanza yes Gilly is correct there is a buddy that has written a lot of posts regarding what you are suffering.l know it is frightening all these very weird feelings but they are withdrawal symptoms and they will pass.

  Love and hugs Stut X

[[St...]]

Morning Can't l know you are doing not to well l just wanted you to know we are all thinking of you and we miss you.I hope you come back to us soon mate.

  Love and hugs Stut X

[[St...]]

Well folks in at my daughter's work today until 2 then hopefully we will enjoy what's left of the day.l am thinking of you all.

  Love and hugs Stut X

[[Ma...]]

So many poignant posts to catch up on! 

It's a work day for me and I'm knackered....

See you all tomorrow when I'll read....

:smitten:

SS

How could anyone be angry with you Mary?  You are kindness personified.....

:smitten:

 

:hug:

[[Be...]]

Does this group support long hold on quetiapine please.

 

Hi Beano!  Welcome,

I think you'll find that this group supports what is working for you -- and that for some of us long holds while tapering benzos have been helpful.

Does a long hold of Quetiapine help you?  I know many people find it helpful for sleep and for managing anxiety.  Does it do so for you?

I didn't really look at your sig before I replied.  My bad...

 

Im on diazapam,  havnt cut since june. Started cutting quetiapine but need to know if ill stabilise with a long hold. Also stopped codeine 3 weeks ago. Im not good.xx

And Welcome

SS

[[Ma...]]

Good morning Begood Cant Heath Mary Trish Miyu Bluepill Gard Free Intend NJ SS TMB Green Deep Nova Barbara Olive Ginger Cally Battle Esperanza Anu Gilly Milli Val Hope and all here sending you my love and support hopefully today will be a better day.

  Love and hugs Stut X

 

Tagging......early PT ....love you all, will get the train running when I get home 🚂🚂🚂🚂🚂🚂🚂🚂, we will visit the Village and maybe look for a special holiday decoration and have some delicious drink ( not alcohol) a special tea, coffee, or cocoa . Chuga chuga, 👩🏻‍✈️ Love, 🎶🙏🙏💜☮️🐕🐱🎄🎄

[[Ma...]]

Morning Lady Mary how did it go with the doctor yesterday?l hope she was pleased with your progress.Keep at the exercises.

  Love you my lady Mary.

  Love and hugs Stut X

.

 

She is telling her patients that are doing pretty well not to pressure themselves to taper over the holidays, isn't that nice.  She is a woman and understands the added stress holidays bring.  She said I was her Christmas miracle, I told her, her expectations for a miracle were low  :laugh:  I was lucky she was the one the Universe gave me to help me taper.  I will work hard at pt, so you can be at least well off, if not rich .  Love you my Queen, Lady Mary ☮️💜🙏🐶🐕🐱🐾🎄

[[St...]]

Lady Mary she better be proud of you or she would have me to deal with.Be proud of yourself as well you have tapered a lot my love and you have found what works for you.That is amazing.

  Now when you say not rich do you mean nearly rich?

  Love you my lady Mary.

  Love and hugs Stut X

[[Ma...]]

Lady Mary she better be proud of you or she would have me to deal with.Be proud of yourself as well you have tapered a lot my love and you have found what works for you.That is amazing.

  Now when you say not rich do you mean nearly rich?

  Love you my lady Mary.

  Love and hugs Stut X

 

  yes , nearly rich, we are counting on our dvds to sell , so I want to be realistic 

[[St...]]

Well that is better lady Mary we will go with that.Now was thinking Broadway for your singing and dancing what do you think perhaps or definitely?

  Love you my lovely lady Mary.

  Love and hugs Stut X

[[Ma...]]

Well that is better lady Mary we will go with that.Now was thinking Broadway for your singing and dancing what do you think perhaps or definitely?

  Love you my lovely lady Mary.

  Love and hugs Stut X

 

You don't know me at all do you.  :laugh: I am Taylor Swifts singing 🎤 backup,  we are going to fill up the largest stadiums in the world . Broadway, I have no culture, really 

[[St...]]

Oh happy days that's even better big stadium l could organise that so we are a go for that as well.l think that will keep you busy for a wee while Lady Mary and remember it is all for a good cause 😂.Get you at the PTing.

  Love you.

  Love and hugs Stut X

[[4G...]]

Hi folks. Just popping in. Not good again today and Christmas is getting nearer. Don't know whether I'm going to be able to handle it or not.

 

Trishy, I'm so sorry about your son and especially about your grandson. I don't know anything about alcoholism so I'm not really the one to give advice, but I hope other buddies will help you through. Sending my love.

 

Stut, I know what you mean. When words are written down it is easy to misinterpret them. Thank you so much for your support.

 

Love and Hugs to All.  Gilly ❤x ❤x ❤x

[[es...]]

Dear Trishy, it is not a broken record. It is the horrible reality of living with an alcoholic. And it is painful, beyond belief. You, of course, want to run. And you know you can’t. I watched my mother live this life and I was caught up in it, as well. You know you need to take care of yourself, but that is damn hard when you love someone and they are hurting themselves and the whole family. You might take comfort in knowing you are doing the best you can in an impossible situation. I don’t believe his recovery is impossible, I just mean it is totally up to him to want it enough to surrender to the process of recovery. All the support the family gives won’t matter until that happens. This I know for a fact. But, I can tell you that, even though my dad did not make it, my brother is 25 years sober. It is not too late for your son. I send you my love, Esperanza