The Long Hold Support Group

[[Su...]]

G'morning LHSG,

I hope that everyone has the best day possible -- and remember how stressful this time of year has become ... It's "supposed" to be fun but rarely is.

So we need to take care of ourselves!

 

Trishy -- I'm in agreement with what Stut says.  It dose no good to anyone to allow your son to be mean to you when he is in his cups.  Stepping back is a good way for him to see that his behaviour has consequences: people will not be around.  As for seeing your grandchildren, I hope you can find a way where he doesn't control access to them.

Nothing needs to be confronted or stated, just take care of yourself in this instance.  I hope I'm making sense.

I'm so glad that you wrote about what you are going through here.... I'll be thinking of you.

 

Mary -- Love so sorry that i wasn't in contact yesterday!  I worked and then replied to a couple of posts... and then I had to rush back to Scotland!!  No excuse I know!  Sufi and Zorro are doing well although they don't like bing alone all day.  My guy is out of town for a few days ( Oh the bninge watching!)

 

I have tapered for 20 straight days!  Direct correlation to starting the new supplement.  I could continue to taper -- I'm feeling very good -- but am wanting to be up to some Xmas events this week and weekend, so I'll hold for a few.  Feeling pretty stoked to be able to taper -- even my tiny percentage-- with this amount of ease.

 

I'm running today too!  Getting some stuff down before the madness really begins.

:smitten:

SS

 

[[Su...]]

Morning Lady Mary how did it go with the doctor yesterday?l hope she was pleased with your progress.Keep at the exercises.

  Love you my lady Mary.

  Love and hugs Stut X

.

 

She is telling her patients that are doing pretty well not to pressure themselves to taper over the holidays, isn't that nice.  She is a woman and understands the added stress holidays bring.  She said I was her Christmas miracle, I told her, her expectations for a miracle were low  :laugh:  I was lucky she was the one the Universe gave me to help me taper.  I will work hard at pt, so you can be at least well off, if not rich .  Love you my Queen, Lady Mary ☮️💜🙏🐶🐕🐱🐾🎄

this is such good news sis!

:smitten:

[[Su...]]

Beano,

May I ask why you are coming off the quuetiapine before you taper the Valium?  Was that suggested to you by your doc?

And did they say what the reasoning was behind that decision?

Wanting the best and easiest time for us all....

:smitten:

SS

 

[[Ma...]]

Gilly, I know you aren't feeling well my English buddy.  Thinking of you often, miss that humor that was showing itself..  Mary 💓💞❣️💝💘💕❤️💜💙🐾🐾🐾🐾🐱

[[Va...]]

Woke up so out of it this morning, some bit dealing with "Deck Hand Syndrome" but otherwise just blue, malaise... Then I made myself walk slowly throughout the flat, got our pet rats out (two girls, very sweet) early to play, after I vacuumed the living room, hallway, their room... And made myself go get a haircut because I am not looking too good and the hair was making me feel uglier.

 

I did it all and then some.

 

Now my eyes are calming down 'some' from feeling like burning spikes were being pushed near the part closest to my nose--don't know what to call that... Oh, the 'teardrop' area is the best I can do right now, not thinking clearly.

 

Got back home, rinsed my hair because I am allergic to my own hair, then got online here, and blurry vision, doing what I can.

 

I may have this or something similar to deal with the rest of my life if I die early or I am one of the few who never fully recover.

 

Not being pessimistic, being realistic: I can, no matter how hard, change my attitude and especially 'note' the good parts of any moment, and so I do, am, and I'm sharing them.

 

(─‿‿─) <-----------

 

Sometimes I close my eyes and keep typing because I need the relief from the pain and blurriness. I touch type so I can do that.

 

See, always something positive, just have to look for it and then share it because sharing magnifies the highs and shrinks the lows.

[[Ma...]]

Woke up so out of it this morning, some bit dealing with "Deck Hand Syndrome" but otherwise just blue, malaise... Then I made myself walk slowly throughout the flat, got our pet rats out (two girls, very sweet) early to play, after I vacuumed the living room, hallway, their room... And made myself go get a haircut because I am not looking too good and the hair was making me feel uglier.

 

I did it all and then some.

 

Now my eyes are calming down 'some' from feeling like burning spikes were being pushed near the part closest to my nose--don't know what to call that... Oh, the 'teardrop' area is the best I can do right now, not thinking clearly.

 

Got back home, rinsed my hair because I am allergic to my own hair, then got online here, and blurry vision, doing what I can.

 

I may have this or something similar to deal with the rest of my life if I die early or I am one of the few who never fully recover.

 

Not being pessimistic, being realistic: I can, no matter how hard, change my attitude and especially 'note' the good parts of any moment, and so I do, am, and I'm sharing them.

 

(─‿‿─) <-----------

 

Sometimes I close my eyes and keep typing because I need the relief from the pain and blurriness. I touch type so I can do that.

 

See, always something positive, just have to look for it and then share it because sharing magnifies the highs and shrinks the lows.

 

That last sentence was so true, l loved to see it in a post 🙏☮️💜 Mary

[[Tr...]]

Trishy

 

No problem.

 

And drunks run in my family... right to the bar and bottles. Both parents, sibs, back to grandfathers on both sides, grandmother on one. My mother gave it up but my dad just took a 15-year break, 'a dry drunk,' never sorry, never said it, went back to the bottle(s) after my mother died, and we don't talk; I went to see him for his 81st birthday, he was drunk--steady, driving... and tried getting me there. No thanks. My life is better without him.

 

It's tougher with a child who has your grandchild(ren) as hostage so to speak. I'm sorry you're going through this, and you're right, shit happens to us all--so many estranged family members, sometimes because of alcohol and drugs, sometimes because of mental disorders, sometimes just because the line of not being loved got started and continued through the generations.

 

I'm grateful my husband and I don't drink, that we love and respect each other, been together 30 years now.

 

Count every blessing, and pass 'em on. We all need to vent and to share the good times, too.

 

Goodnight hug to you.

Hi Val,

Same here, long line of alcoholics on my husband's side and mine. Life can be tough in so many ways , so much wreckage and devastation from this horrible disease for both alcoholic and family members.

 

My husband and I have been married for 35 yrs and thankfully by the grace of God he  did give up drinking years ago , I stuck by him and I don't regret it either he's a wonderful easy going guy who seems only concerned with my happiness. I can't complain about a guy like that, however, he is at a loss as to how to help my son,  he wants too but knows all too well that he can do nothing but watch this train wreck. We know our son has to want to stop, just isn't easy to sit by while he destroys lives other than his own like my 4 yr old grandson for one.. The whole thing is just so damn sad.

 

I believe as well in counting your blessings, bc even though life can be crazy and sometimes emotionally painful there still is so much to be grateful for.

 

Love and hugs,

Trish

[[Tr...]]

Morning Trish l am so sorry to hear you are feeling so trapped and hurt by your son's behaviour.l know that feeling of wanting to run away l have had that so many times but there is nowhere to run to.

  Personally l think your son needs a good kick up the ass but sadly it wouldn't work.I feel so sorry for his children they are the victims in this and perhaps his wife should get out before they are harmed anymore by him.

  I am sorry Trish l would actually think that perhaps he needs to see that everyone isn't always going to be there for him and then he may have to take responsibility and seek treatment.

  I hope l haven't offended you my love but l am hoping with the right incentive your son would get the help he really needs.

  Try to have a better day my lovely sister and keep your chin up.

  Love and hugs Stut X

Stut,

Everything you say is true and I agree with all of it. You could never offend me, I value your advice, which is always good and wise.

Thank you my twin for always being there..

Much love,

Trish

[[Tr...]]

Hi folks. Just popping in. Not good again today and Christmas is getting nearer. Don't know whether I'm going to be able to handle it or not.

 

Trishy, I'm so sorry about your son and especially about your grandson. I don't know anything about alcoholism so I'm not really the one to give advice, but I hope other buddies will help you through. Sending my love.

 

Stut, I know what you mean. When words are written down it is easy to misinterpret them. Thank you so much for your support.

 

Love and Hugs to All.  Gilly ❤x ❤x ❤x

thanks 4G,

[[Ma...]]

Trishy

 

No problem.

 

And drunks run in my family... right to the bar and bottles. Both parents, sibs, back to grandfathers on both sides, grandmother on one. My mother gave it up but my dad just took a 15-year break, 'a dry drunk,' never sorry, never said it, went back to the bottle(s) after my mother died, and we don't talk; I went to see him for his 81st birthday, he was drunk--steady, driving... and tried getting me there. No thanks. My life is better without him.

 

It's tougher with a child who has your grandchild(ren) as hostage so to speak. I'm sorry you're going through this, and you're right, shit happens to us all--so many estranged family members, sometimes because of alcohol and drugs, sometimes because of mental disorders, sometimes just because the line of not being loved got started and continued through the generations.

 

I'm grateful my husband and I don't drink, that we love and respect each other, been together 30 years now.

 

Count every blessing, and pass 'em on. We all need to vent and to share the good times, too.

 

Goodnight hug to you.

Hi Val,

Same here, long line of alcoholics on my husband's side and mine. Life can be tough in so many ways , so much wreckage and devastation from this horrible disease for both alcoholic and family members.

 

My husband and I have been married for 35 yrs and thankfully by the grace of God he  did give up drinking years ago , I stuck by him and I don't regret it either he's a wonderful easy going guy who seems only concerned with my happiness. I can't complain about a guy like that, however, he is at a loss as to how to help my son,  he wants too but knows all too well that he can do nothing but watch this train wreck. We know our son has to want to stop, just isn't easy to sit by while he destroys lives other than his own like my 4 yr old grandson for one.. The whole thing is just so damn sad.

 

I believe as well in counting your blessings, bc even though life can be crazy and sometimes emotionally painful there still is so much to be grateful for.

 

Love and hugs,

Trish

 

I'm grateful for you and Val, Trishy 🙏☮️💜

[[Tr...]]

Morning Can't l know you are doing not to well l just wanted you to know we are all thinking of you and we miss you.I hope you come back to us soon mate.

  Love and hugs Stut X

Stut is right ninja spy we miss you, healing hugs to you

[[4G...]]

Mary, You are right. I am going through a wave and it is worse because of Christmas. Perhaps it is caused by Christmas. I will certainly be pleased when it is over. Very high anxiety and I HAVE TO go to Rebecca's on the 14th. I'm really scared.  :'(

[[Tr...]]

Dear Trishy, it is not a broken record. It is the horrible reality of living with an alcoholic. And it is painful, beyond belief. You, of course, want to run. And you know you can’t. I watched my mother live this life and I was caught up in it, as well. You know you need to take care of yourself, but that is damn hard when you love someone and they are hurting themselves and the whole family. You might take comfort in knowing you are doing the best you can in an impossible situation. I don’t believe his recovery is impossible, I just mean it is totally up to him to want it enough to surrender to the process of recovery. All the support the family gives won’t matter until that happens. This I know for a fact. But, I can tell you that, even though my dad did not make it, my brother is 25 years sober. It is not too late for your son. I send you my love, Esperanza

sweet  Esperanza,

Thank you my dear friend for your support, I think you're a miraculous person. I am amazed at your capacity to give support to others when you suffer so much. I admire your strength, I truly do. I just hope you see how strong and amazing you really are.

 

Thank you for sharing your experience with this, I so appreciate you and the others who have shared their own personal stories.

 

So happy to read your brother is 25 yrs sober , that's to be commended, gives me hope for my son .

Love and hugs,

Trish :smitten:

 

[[Tr...]]

Trishy

 

No problem.

 

And drunks run in my family... right to the bar and bottles. Both parents, sibs, back to grandfathers on both sides, grandmother on one. My mother gave it up but my dad just took a 15-year break, 'a dry drunk,' never sorry, never said it, went back to the bottle(s) after my mother died, and we don't talk; I went to see him for his 81st birthday, he was drunk--steady, driving... and tried getting me there. No thanks. My life is better without him.

 

It's tougher with a child who has your grandchild(ren) as hostage so to speak. I'm sorry you're going through this, and you're right, shit happens to us all--so many estranged family members, sometimes because of alcohol and drugs, sometimes because of mental disorders, sometimes just because the line of not being loved got started and continued through the generations.

 

I'm grateful my husband and I don't drink, that we love and respect each other, been together 30 years now.

 

Count every blessing, and pass 'em on. We all need to vent and to share the good times, too.

 

Goodnight hug to you.

Hi Val,

Same here, long line of alcoholics on my husband's side and mine. Life can be tough in so many ways , so much wreckage and devastation from this horrible disease for both alcoholic and family members.

 

My husband and I have been married for 35 yrs and thankfully by the grace of God he  did give up drinking years ago , I stuck by him and I don't regret it either he's a wonderful easy going guy who seems only concerned with my happiness. I can't complain about a guy like that, however, he is at a loss as to how to help my son,  he wants too but knows all too well that he can do nothing but watch this train wreck. We know our son has to want to stop, just isn't easy to sit by while he destroys lives other than his own like my 4 yr old grandson for one.. The whole thing is just so damn sad.

 

I believe as well in counting your blessings, bc even though life can be crazy and sometimes emotionally painful there still is so much to be grateful for.

 

Love and hugs,

Trish

 

I'm grateful for you and Val, Trishy 🙏☮️💜

oh sweet Mary, I'm grateful for you too.. Now I have tears in my eyes..

Don't know where I'd be without you and all the others here, you're all a blessing to me.

Ham to your cheese,

Love ya,

Trish :smitten:

[[Tr...]]

Well my beautiful friends I am going to watch tv, I thank you all for your support. I think my word tonight is " grateful" especially for this amazing group.

Sending you all healing hugs and praying for all as always..

Love and big hugs,

Trish :smitten:

 

Ps .. Extra, extra big hugs for those of us suffering wd tonight, holding virtual hands..

[[Ma...]]

Mary, You are right. I am going through a wave and it is worse because of Christmas. Perhaps it is caused by Christmas. I will certainly be pleased when it is over. Very high anxiety and I HAVE TO go to Rebecca's on the 14th. I'm really scared.  :'(

 

I'm so sorry.  Could you dare updosing one day?  I've seen people on here doing it for a flight somewhere or a special thing .  Only you know if it's a good idea.  I would be very anxious around people I don't know.  We will be there with you in spirit, surrounding you...love you GB.  You can do this.  Trishy was scared to death to go to Disney but she did it and ended up having a good time.  Truly, she didn't want to go, but just like you, she felt she had to for her kids.  PM her, she will cheer you on and maybe give you a few tips.  Love you, brown in your beer, Mary

[[Le...]]

Hello! I just found this group and I've been realizing I'm going to holding for awhile...i cut from 1-2mg clonozepam at first, down to .375mg and I haven't been able to cut anymore. I know a lot of it may be fear of experiencing what I did during the first cut. I'm so afraid of my life falling apart. I've been ok with .375mg for 4 months but I have bouts of dp/dr most days. I can deal with it though, before I was having all out panic attacks every day especially at night. I had a ct scan because I was having terrible stomach issues and lost 65lbs rapidly. I got down to 115lbs and I'm 5'9 so I looked and felt very sick and was really scared. They found some benign lesions on my liver and its been a big point of stress for me. My diet is pretty good and I know what foods seem to trigger my symptoms. I want to take milk thistle for liver support but I've read that it inhibits p450 enzyme and may not be great. I have taken gotu kola, ginkgo, skullcap, ashwagandha and valerian without any noticeable sxs, but I never take very much so who knows. I usually do a half dose in tincture form in ginger tea to get the alcohol out. Anyone have any helpful experiences to share about these or other herbs used during long holds? I really want to help my liver out and I'm planning to do another ct scan soon to see if my lesions have improved any...

[[St...]]

Good morning Begood Cant Heath Mary Trish Miyu Bluepill Gard Free Intend NJ SS TMB Green Deep Nova Barbara Olive Ginger Cally Battle Esperanza Anu Gilly Milli Val and everyone here hoping everyone has a better day.

  Love and hugs Stut X

[[St...]]

Morning Trish l am glad you have this group to vent my love it's better out than in.l wish there was something more we could do for you however it's something your son will have to want to change.

  We are here for you sis and hopefully things will improve.

  Love and hugs Stut X

[[St...]]

Morning Gilly l know you are panicking about going to see your daughter and it feels like a herculean task.Only you can decide what to do l know whatever you decide we will support you.

  Love and hugs Stut X

[[St...]]

Morning Val great post you had me until you mentioned the rats 😖.Nooooo absolutely not.Anyway good on you for being productive.

  Love and hugs Stut X

[[St...]]

Welcome Letbb you have really did massive cuts especially the first one l am not surprised you were slammed with withdrawal symptoms.Hold for as long as you need to and when you start tapering again l suggest you go on to the tapering forum and Jim Hawk will help you with a tapering schedule.

  Now benign tumors on the liver is completely harmless and a lot of people have them and don't know about them.I will leave the supplements to someone else l don't take any but sometimes l believe less is more.

  Love and hugs Stut X

[[St...]]

Morning Lady Mary and SS l hope today is a good one for both of you my lovely friends.You are both a great support to everyone here so proud to be your friend.

  Love you both.

  Love and hugs Stut X

[[St...]]

Morning Can't l know you don't want to chat but just wanted you to know we are all thinking of you.

  Love and hugs Stut X

[[St...]]

Morning Esperanza you are so strong and you don't know it.Supporting others while suffering so much.l am so glad you are here with us.Remember this will pass.

  Love and hugs Stut X