12-24 months and up support group

[[La...]]

GG 

 

That’s exactly how our days are…we don’t know what we’re going to get. But, we are healing.

 

:smitten:

 

Happy Saturday everyone. Enjoy what you can. I can’t say this enough….

 

Count your blessings!

[[Li...]]

Hello to all,

 

LadyDen,

Once again you were able to encourage me. I know what you mean about hitting 2 years I've been in this wave for many months but when I hit 2 years it seemed to have intensified even more. And recently it's gotten worse again.  Last night was one of the worst nights with the intense chemical fear. Sure hope it's the last time. It's hard to believe. But we must be doing deep healing we have to hang on to that thought. Can't wait for the station to tune in completely and we can have the happy dance that we are longing for. Sounds like your symptoms have flared up more as well so you are probably doing some very deep healing. You had some beautiful windows and I'm sure they're going to return, soon. Or maybe it will be complete healing. Wouldn't that be marvelous!

 

GG,

Thank you for the congrats.  You have the right attitude about your setback and I'm sure it will be passing for you soon. Can't wait to hear that you're in that beautiful window that you are so familiar with.

 

Sending warm love and healing hugs to everyone!

 

LiveLife

[[Ga...]]

LiveLife and LadyDen, I hope you know that you two are referred to on many different forum boards and by many different buddies as angels in disguise who always give comfort and care to so many.  I personally don’t know how you do it almost daily while in awful waves yourselves.  I bet you were just born with an extra loving chromosome!

 

Wise and warm and wonderful….that is what you are!  I am so glad to have you in my circle of best benzo buddies ever😍😍😍😍😍😍😍

 

Hugs,

 

GG

[[Ac...]]

Hey everyone, I'm back.  :'(

 

I had been doing really well this summer but just hit a big wave or set back.  I don't feel well equipped to handle this anymore.

 

It's 9 days after having my gallbladder out, and at first I was doing really well, but yesterday started to feel some familiar benzo sx and last night got slammed and was up all night. 

 

I feel so selfish to be back groveling for help after being absent during a window, but here I am.  :'(

[[le...]]

Hope you are all OK, especially Live, GG, Lady den and Fox who are struggling at moment.

 

I’m sort middling again at moment not good but not bad. Had awful night couldn’t sleep felt like reaching for zopiclone but didn’t.

It’s Bank Holiday weekend here, went to our local pub for lunch to try push myself. Sat outside group came in very Essexy, . They were very loud. Had dog that kept whining the whole time, then really small baby alternated between crying and screaming mother ended up pushing it round all the other tables. Why do people bring small babies out to places they will only get bored and fractious in.

I am wondering whether I should measure my withdrawal from when stopped the AD’s, whether expecting too much too soon. My withdrawal from zop wasn’t that bad, first 10 months was still doing stuff, wasn’t until had bad reaction to AD’s the intrusive thoughts and anxiety got really bad, withdrawal from them was really intense. So been 26 months off them as 3 years plus seems quite common recovery time, do you think just going to take white longer, Once again hugs to those you in waves?

 

Live ; even though I’m long way from recovery never thought things would level out, they will for you I’m sure, sometimes think best to stop fight this trying different ways and supplements to make us better. I am trying breathing exercises again as do think they do actually help.  Not exactly accept this is who we are, more realise this is chemical damage to our brain so will take a while to heal.I agree with Lisa if you’ve had more than 1 drug thrown at you takes longer, my husband summed it up, like our brains have no filter everything seems like a threat. Your time will come soon“

 

[[de...]]

Good afternoon/evening to my benzo buddies!!! 

 

Having a tough day today.  In this wave I am in currently my weekends tend to be worse especially Saturdays!!!  Just hanging on!  Have been resting most of the day.  Just went out and got a smoothie. 

 

GG:  sorry you are struggling a little more today.  Hoping you get a bit of a window this evening!!

 

Live:  Gosh, you have been dealing with the intense fear for so long now.  It needs to stop!!

 

LadyDen:  How are you feeling today?  How is your dizziness?

 

Leeann: Good for you for going out!!!!  Yes, my opinion is that you start counting from the date of the most recent drug you stopped.  So in your case that would be the AD 26 months ago.  Also, I think bro g poly drugged could make withdrawal a little trickier.  I do think you might be expecting too much having been off only 26 months.  From what I have read, 30-32 months seems to be when s lot of people in protracted turn s corner. 

 

Accidental:  Sorry you are having s setback.  I bet you will be better soon!!!  Do y ever feel guilty for ducking back in here; that is what these forums are for - support when needed!!! 

 

To everyone else:  Keep fighting!!! 

 

Lisa

[[La...]]

Hello to all,

 

LadyDen,

Once again you were able to encourage me. I know what you mean about hitting 2 years I've been in this wave for many months but when I hit 2 years it seemed to have intensified even more. And recently it's gotten worse again.  Last night was one of the worst nights with the intense chemical fear. Sure hope it's the last time. It's hard to believe. But we must be doing deep healing we have to hang on to that thought. Can't wait for the station to tune in completely and we can have the happy dance that we are longing for. Sounds like your symptoms have flared up more as well so you are probably doing some very deep healing. You had some beautiful windows and I'm sure they're going to return, soon. Or maybe it will be complete healing. Wouldn't that be marvelous!

 

GG,

Thank you for the congrats.  You have the right attitude about your setback and I'm sure it will be passing for you soon. Can't wait to hear that you're in that beautiful window that you are so familiar with.

 

Sending warm love and healing hugs to everyone!

 

LiveLife

Yes ma’am I’m holding on to the fine tuning/ last slam before the jam! 

You and I will look back on this phase and say “ wow look how strong we are!” I trust our brains know what it’s doing. The hard parts have to be done. We can’t climb a mountain on the ground staying at the bottom. It’s not easy but God is on our side! This is temporary phase. Ugly to the bone but we are surviving it. You’re a strong beautiful friend and warrior. Get your dancing shoes ready. 💃🏻❤️

[[La...]]

LiveLife and LadyDen, I hope you know that you two are referred to on many different forum boards and by many different buddies as angels in disguise who always give comfort and care to so many.  I personally don’t know how you do it almost daily while in awful waves yourselves.  I bet you were just born with an extra loving chromosome!

 

Wise and warm and wonderful….that is what you are!  I am so glad to have you in my circle of best benzo buddies ever😍😍😍😍😍😍😍

 

Hugs,

 

GG

Wow! I had no idea! How sweet. I appreciate you and all the buddies including the ones I’ve never spoken to that prays for me/others. I thank you for being such a lovely friend and support. I hope I’ve done my due part of returning the love. I’m so happy that you’re doing better. I can’t wait to read your success story soon.

❤️❤️❤️🌹🌹🌹💗💗💗😘

[[La...]]

Hey everyone, I'm back.  :'(

 

I had been doing really well this summer but just hit a big wave or set back.  I don't feel well equipped to handle this anymore.

 

It's 9 days after having my gallbladder out, and at first I was doing really well, but yesterday started to feel some familiar benzo sx and last night got slammed and was up all night. 

 

I feel so selfish to be back groveling for help after being absent during a window, but here I am.  :'(

Hi Accidental. Firstly please don’t feel bad about being MIA while feeling better. Many do that. And rightly so after waiting for so long to get relief. This forum is really an as needed venue. I’m glad to see you regardless.

Very good your GB surgery went well. I’ve had mine out right before my taper began. I also had ups and downs when recovery from that surgery. This is a roller coaster so those are expected. We all get them. Those slams are really heartbreaking but they’re temporary. With a little time you’ll be back to your better baseline soon.

Hugs 🤗

[[La...]]

Hope you are all OK, especially Live, GG, Lady den and Fox who are struggling at moment.

 

I’m sort middling again at moment not good but not bad. Had awful night couldn’t sleep felt like reaching for zopiclone but didn’t.

It’s Bank Holiday weekend here, went to our local pub for lunch to try push myself. Sat outside group came in very Essexy, . They were very loud. Had dog that kept whining the whole time, then really small baby alternated between crying and screaming mother ended up pushing it round all the other tables. Why do people bring small babies out to places they will only get bored and fractious in.

I am wondering whether I should measure my withdrawal from when stopped the AD’s, whether expecting too much too soon. My withdrawal from zop wasn’t that bad, first 10 months was still doing stuff, wasn’t until had bad reaction to AD’s the intrusive thoughts and anxiety got really bad, withdrawal from them was really intense. So been 26 months off them as 3 years plus seems quite common recovery time, do you think just going to take white longer, Once again hugs to those you in waves?

 

Live ; even though I’m long way from recovery never thought things would level out, they will for you I’m sure, sometimes think best to stop fight this trying different ways and supplements to make us better. I am trying breathing exercises again as do think they do actually help.  Not exactly accept this is who we are, more realise this is chemical damage to our brain so will take a while to heal.I agree with Lisa if you’ve had more than 1 drug thrown at you takes longer, my husband summed it up, like our brains have no filter everything seems like a threat. Your time will come soon“

Thank you Leann. Such a sweetheart you are. I hope today is a decent day for you. Keep believing in your healing. And stay away from zop…..if I were you, since you were tempted, I’d throw it away. It’s too risky to take it. If you start it up again, you might not be like it was before. Please think about this.

Hugs 🤗

[[La...]]

Good afternoon/evening to my benzo buddies!!! 

 

Having a tough day today.  In this wave I am in currently my weekends tend to be worse especially Saturdays!!!  Just hanging on!  Have been resting most of the day.  Just went out and got a smoothie. 

 

GG:  sorry you are struggling a little more today.  Hoping you get a bit of a window this evening!!

 

Live:  Gosh, you have been dealing with the intense fear for so long now.  It needs to stop!!

 

LadyDen:  How are you feeling today?  How is your dizziness?

 

Leeann: Good for you for going out!!!!  Yes, my opinion is that you start counting from the date of the most recent drug you stopped.  So in your case that would be the AD 26 months ago.  Also, I think bro g poly drugged could make withdrawal a little trickier.  I do think you might be expecting too much having been off only 26 months.  From what I have read, 30-32 months seems to be when s lot of people in protracted turn s corner. 

 

Accidental:  Sorry you are having s setback.  I bet you will be better soon!!!  Do y ever feel guilty for ducking back in here; that is what these forums are for - support when needed!!! 

 

To everyone else:  Keep fighting!!! 

 

Lisa

Hey Lovely lady! I’m on Captain Jack Sparrow’s boat. It waxes and wanes during the day. I push through and try to walk anyway if I can. Sending you love ❤️

Are you any better?

[[Ga...]]

Good Sunday Morning 12/24 months and beyond buddies😁😍🙏.  I am tagging on behind Accidental as I am also in either a bad wave or an awful setback from the multitude of antibiotics I was on, combined with the perforated uterus and three day hospital stay?!?!?!

 

I had a couple of days of feeling better after I left the hospital, but since the last two butt injections of the Rocephin on Thursday and Friday, I have had a return of the awful brain burning headaches, benzo flu symptoms, and some GI issues.  I guess I should not be surprised, but it is really depressing and scary to think I might be looking at a long wave or setback.  I am so done with this, as I know most of you are that are past the 18 month to two year time frame.  Who could have imagined that we wonderful humans would be dealing with all this pain and suffering for such a long long time!

 

Your pain is my pain as I know how it feels.  Please let us all heal in the next few weeks, please🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏

 

Hugs,

 

GG

 

 

[[le...]]

Hope you are all OK, especially Live, GG, Lady den and Fox who are struggling at moment.

 

I’m sort middling again at moment not good but not bad. Had awful night couldn’t sleep felt like reaching for zopiclone but didn’t.

It’s Bank Holiday weekend here, went to our local pub for lunch to try push myself. Sat outside group came in very Essexy, . They were very loud. Had dog that kept whining the whole time, then really small baby alternated between crying and screaming mother ended up pushing it round all the other tables. Why do people bring small babies out to places they will only get bored and fractious in.

I am wondering whether I should measure my withdrawal from when stopped the AD’s, whether expecting too much too soon. My withdrawal from zop wasn’t that bad, first 10 months was still doing stuff, wasn’t until had bad reaction to AD’s the intrusive thoughts and anxiety got really bad, withdrawal from them was really intense. So been 26 months off them as 3 years plus seems quite common recovery time, do you think just going to take white longer, Once again hugs to those you in waves?

 

Live ; even though I’m long way from recovery never thought things would level out, they will for you I’m sure, sometimes think best to stop fight this trying different ways and supplements to make us better. I am trying breathing exercises again as do think they do actually help.  Not exactly accept this is who we are, more realise this is chemical damage to our brain so will take a while to heal.I agree with Lisa if you’ve had more than 1 drug thrown at you takes longer, my husband summed it up, like our brains have no filter everything seems like a threat. Your time will come soon“

Thank you Leann. Such a sweetheart you are. I hope today is a decent day for you. Keep believing in your healing. And stay away from zop…..if I were you, since you were tempted, I’d throw it away. It’s too risky to take it. If you start it up again, you might not be like it was before. Please think about this.

Hugs 🤗

 

 

 

 

Don’t worry I’ve had packet there the whole time. Did take a few rescue doses last year when couldn’t cope with all the hurt from what my Mum did. Realise it’s not the answer not going down that path again. Going stop the unison. Think coz they’re anti histamine making sinus worse. Hope you are doing OK.. So sorry you are getting slammed again GG , sometimes seems it’s nicest people that keep getting hit. Think the universe is out of kilter some days☹️

 

[[Ga...]]

Thanks fellow garden lover, Leann!  You are sounding more positive each time you post, and that makes me happy!

 

We buddies have our ups and downs and when we are down, there is nothing better than to read a few words of support from a fellow buddy.

 

Thanks for being so supportive…..I am still looking forward to a nice cuppa coffee with you in your lovely garden.  Have you had any more rain?

 

Hugs,

 

GG

[[le...]]

Had a big storm Thursday, no more rain. Weather has been lot cooler. so not too bad, lug around watering cans every few days keep my plants happy. Yes not doing too bad , just wish progress wasn’t so slow. I long to be able to go out for the day or be able to book holiday, being older feel time is running out. Tired when friends ask what we’ve been doing, saying nothing.. I know others like you are having cope with lot more than me at the moment of course.  Hope things soon turn around for you anyway. Yes all getting together when we are all recovered  would be one helluva party.  😍🤪💃💃🇬🇧🇺🇸

[[de...]]

Hey friends!  I have had a really hard day!  Would love your prayers!    After 29 months I just don't know how to keep fighting!  I am tired and so discouraged!

 

Thinking of all of you tonight!

 

Lisa

[[Li...]]

Hello to all my beautiful buddies,

 

GG,

Awe.  You are so sweet to say that,  It really warms my heart. I love all my buddies and hope to give them as much encouragement as I can. I try. You have been a great encouragement to me, as well. All your comments are always uplifting and positive and I so appreciate that. You are a dear sweet friend.  I agree with your post about coming on here and getting positive encouragement from all our lovely buddies.

 

LadyDen,

I definitely have my dancing shoes ready.  I'm hoping for it any time now. Would be wonderful!

 

Leann,

Thank you so much for your words of encouragement and I'm happy to hear that it sounds like you've leveled off in your symptoms again. I really do believe any moment you are very close to your final healing.

 

Accidental,

We have definitely missed you. But, so happy to hear that you were away because you were feeling better. I'm sure that this is going to pass for you just like it did last time. Here's hoping that tomorrow is a much better day for you.

 

Lisa,

Thank you for your encouraging words and I'm so sorry to hear that you had a really hard day today. But it is the weekend. Tomorrow will probably be so much better for you. I'm counting on it. It's so frustrating and that's putting it mildly when you get some improvement and then feel like it just all goes out the window. No pun intended. Can be very discouraging.

 

  As for me, I was hoping today would be a better day but it was not. So, I have my hopes on tomorrow and I sure hope I don't have a terror filled night.

 

Sending warm love and healing hugs to all!

 

LiveLife

 

 

[[de...]]

LiveLife: Thanks for your encouragement!!!  Hoping you have a good night's!!

 

Tomorrow is a new day!!!

 

Lisa

[[le...]]

Need your prayers sorry to be Debby Downer . About 2 hours sleep again, anxiety through the roof, feel really nauseous, really hot, thumping head, Can’t keep doing this, contantly 1 step forward 2 steps back, never really making progress. Wishing you all a peaceful day and hope you all got more sleep than me, Never seems any end to this😢

[[de...]]

Leeann:  Reading your post and feeling the same way.  I know this is so discouraging and it is okay to feel that way!  This process is really hard!!! Wish there is something I could say that would take it away.  You are going to get through this!  One day at a time. 

 

Today I am going to allow myself to feel discouraged and frustrated.  I am going to surrender to the difficulties of this process.  I am going to try and be okay with not being okay.  Also, today I am going to allow myself to not pretend I am okay. 

 

I hope you can find a way to make peace with your circumstances just for today!

[[le...]]

That sounds a good option. It’s lack sleep really. Had years barely  sleeping which got me hooked on zopiclone. Just makes the anxiety so much worse. Plus don’t have my safety net of zopiclone anymore.

Sorry you are in the same boat, it sucks when you thought you’d turned a corner. Sending hugs xx

[[La...]]

🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏

 

For all my friends here! Wow we are all getting our butts spanked. Ok everyone it’s time to pull out the swords

 

 

Benzo Bully is laughing at us. But don’t give him the satisfaction. He won’t be laughing for too much longer. Lisa is right….accept what’s happening and be ok with it. It’s awful but part of this process. We must go through to get through, right? Let’s keep each other lifted up! Let’s keep distractions going. Let’s keep up with self love.

To hell with this crap……

What can we do today that will bring a smile to our faces? I’m going to visit a museum today ( online). What are you all going to do for fun?

Healing hugs to all of you 🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗❤️

[[Ga...]]

Yes, to a call for a sword to slay the benzo dragon that has so many of us in its clutches.  I for one am not enjoying a return to those burning brain headaches which had virtually disappeared.  I fear my path forward is going to be rockier after my antibiotics and foiled surgery.

 

I pray all of us are nearing the end……for those of us who have had windows, it is truly like a nightmare to relive those acute horror days.

 

Love and hugs,

 

GG

[[La...]]

Yes, to a call for a sword to slay the benzo dragon that has so many of us in its clutches.  I for one am not enjoying a return to those burning brain headaches which had virtually disappeared.  I fear my path forward is going to be rockier after my antibiotics and foiled surgery.

 

I pray all of us are nearing the end……for those of us who have had windows, it is truly like a nightmare to relive those acute horror days.

 

Love and hugs,

 

GG

GG your fears are warranted under the circumstances BUT don’t claim it! Nope not today! You are farther out so you might very well not get slammed so roughly. The way you are now might be all you get. So that’s ideal. It will be short lived if I had to guess. 

 

Slay your dragon! 👍🏼

[[Ga...]]

Hi LadyDen.  Well, now I am really concerned as my doctor’s office just called and said my most recent urine tests still shows some bacteria, but they have to wait to get the full report later today to decide what to do???!!!!  This has gone on so long, that I have now been referred to an infectious disease specialist…..I have a telehealth call with him next Tuesday and then an appointment with a urologist next Friday.

 

I am beyond scared that there is something else going on that has not been found.  However, I am reassured that all my blood work and my pelvic/abdominal scans taken during my recent stay in the hospital for three days showed everything all normal!  Actually the PA female in my doctor’s office just called and said not to worry as I may just be harboring some white cells without having a true UTI…I have none of the traditional symptoms of one.  She also said that they know I am suffering from too many antibiotics and it is showing up in my wave like pattern of late.  Thank goodness that they understand what I am going through!

 

It will be interesting what can be gleaned from a phone call with an infectious disease doctor! 

 

So there you have it in a nutshell!

 

Hoping all are feeling better than me!!!!!

 

Hugs,

 

GG