New to BB and really looking for some support

[[nu...]]

Hi, I was prescribed Klonopin 0.5mg ~3 years ago. I've been getting refills every 1-2 months (usually only a 14 day supply worth)... however, the last 1.5 months has been extremely rough for me. I'm on Zoloft 150mg and I just upped my dose from 125mg to 150mg ~1.5 months ago... just prior to doing so I had a really bad panic attack. I knew for quite a while (months) that I needed to up my Zoloft dose, but only when my panic attacks got really bad again did I finally do it. Anyway, fast forward to the last 1 month-ish (specifically, the last 19 days) or so and I've had to take Klonopin almost every single day. I don't know how I let myself get so carried away with it, but I think it was the absolute fear in me of when I had another panic attack and wanting to avoid that as much as possible from reoccurring again. I usually don't need to take the Klonopin more than 2 days max in a row and then I can settle myself enough, but it's been absolutely brutal this time around. I tried my best to space the Klonopin out, but my anxiety can get so severe that I have rolling panic attacks. Around the time I got on Zoloft and Klonopin was prescribed to me (~3 years ago) my anxiety was so unbelievably high that they would give me a script for Ativan at the ER and I would take 1mg as soon as I started to feel a panic attack coming on but it wouldn't work... like my panic attack would just be so strong so I'd have to take another one and not even that would work! So I would have to go to the ER and be given Klonopin. I would end up leaving the hospital almost comatose from the amount of Ativan and Clonazepam they would have to give me just to calm down and bring my heart rate down... I only mention this because for the last 3 years I've essentially needed to use the Klonopin in order to calm myself down enough in order to not have to go to the hospital. I do my absolute best to only use it as needed, but if I start having rolling panic attacks I typically feel like 0.5mg is not going to cut it and I would prefer not to re-traumatize myself by going back to the hospital. 

I also have a lot of other methods put in place to help me when I'm having a bad panic attack, such as: cold packs on the neck/chest, humming to stimulate the vagus nerve, vitamin C, etc. 

In the last 19 days, I've probably ended up having to take a total of 13-18mg of Klonopin in total. I still have some left and I've taken steps to follow up with my GP to get a referral to a Psychiatrist... although, this will probably take a while for me to see the Psych since I live in Canada. I'm so anxious and scared that I may have put myself into a withdrawal period from the last 1.5 months, it's now been over 24 hours since I took my last Klonopin (I took about 0.75mg) and I definitely feel funky. I read that the first 1-4 days is tough, but then after that it has the possibility of becoming much worse. I will be open and honest with my GP tomorrow when I talk with him, but I am hugely embarrassed that I haven't been able to handle my panic attacks well enough to not have this happen. anyway thank you for listening if you've gotten this far and if anyone has any tips or advice on how they got through the difficult part of withdrawal I would be so grateful. 

 

Thank you

[[je...]]

Hi @[nu...]

Welcome to BenzoBuddies!

I am sorry to hear you're struggling with these panic attacks. Please don't feel embarassed about how you've handled it, there's no judgment here. At this stage it's difficult to determine whether your sporadic use of Clonazepam has caused physical dependence or not. I guess the only way to determine this is to stop using all benzo's for the next week or two and see how you react. If you encounter withdrawal symptoms and those symptoms are too tough then you can start a taper. 

It is good to be honest with your doctor about your use and your panic attacks as you probably need to find alternative ways to manage these if you want to get off benzo's permanently. Please keep talking to us so we can support you through this. 

[[nu...]]

@[je...] hi thank you so much for your reply. I will definitely keep reaching out to the community here. I feel like I have been pretty open with my GP about how I use the prescription, but maybe I need to be more frank with him. I’ll ask him what I should do in the mean time if I start to experience withdrawal symptoms (I kind of already am, currently). I wish there was a way to see into the future to tell how this will all play out but I’ll try to just be brave and continue on. 

[[Le...]]

you may be experiencing something like me where after using this stuff for a while doctors or yourself are confusing some of withdrawal as if it is panic attacks. Rarely are panic attacks long lasting. I would return to the doctor saying this panic attack has lasted days. sound at all familiar?

[[En...]]

13 hours ago, [[n...] said:

Hi, I was prescribed Klonopin 0.5mg ~3 years ago. I've been getting refills every 1-2 months (usually only a 14 day supply worth)... however, the last 1.5 months has been extremely rough for me. I'm on Zoloft 150mg and I just upped my dose from 125mg to 150mg ~1.5 months ago... just prior to doing so I had a really bad panic attack. I knew for quite a while (months) that I needed to up my Zoloft dose, but only when my panic attacks got really bad again did I finally do it. Anyway, fast forward to the last 1 month-ish (specifically, the last 19 days) or so and I've had to take Klonopin almost every single day. I don't know how I let myself get so carried away with it, but I think it was the absolute fear in me of when I had another panic attack and wanting to avoid that as much as possible from reoccurring again. I usually don't need to take the Klonopin more than 2 days max in a row and then I can settle myself enough, but it's been absolutely brutal this time around. I tried my best to space the Klonopin out, but my anxiety can get so severe that I have rolling panic attacks. Around the time I got on Zoloft and Klonopin was prescribed to me (~3 years ago) my anxiety was so unbelievably high that they would give me a script for Ativan at the ER and I would take 1mg as soon as I started to feel a panic attack coming on but it wouldn't work... like my panic attack would just be so strong so I'd have to take another one and not even that would work! So I would have to go to the ER and be given Klonopin. I would end up leaving the hospital almost comatose from the amount of Ativan and Clonazepam they would have to give me just to calm down and bring my heart rate down... I only mention this because for the last 3 years I've essentially needed to use the Klonopin in order to calm myself down enough in order to not have to go to the hospital. I do my absolute best to only use it as needed, but if I start having rolling panic attacks I typically feel like 0.5mg is not going to cut it and I would prefer not to re-traumatize myself by going back to the hospital. 

I also have a lot of other methods put in place to help me when I'm having a bad panic attack, such as: cold packs on the neck/chest, humming to stimulate the vagus nerve, vitamin C, etc. 

In the last 19 days, I've probably ended up having to take a total of 13-18mg of Klonopin in total. I still have some left and I've taken steps to follow up with my GP to get a referral to a Psychiatrist... although, this will probably take a while for me to see the Psych since I live in Canada. I'm so anxious and scared that I may have put myself into a withdrawal period from the last 1.5 months, it's now been over 24 hours since I took my last Klonopin (I took about 0.75mg) and I definitely feel funky. I read that the first 1-4 days is tough, but then after that it has the possibility of becoming much worse. I will be open and honest with my GP tomorrow when I talk with him, but I am hugely embarrassed that I haven't been able to handle my panic attacks well enough to not have this happen. anyway thank you for listening if you've gotten this far and if anyone has any tips or advice on how they got through the difficult part of withdrawal I would be so grateful. 

Thank you

Clonazepam will cause your panic attacks. I bet if you wean off the clonazepam your panic attacks will go away. Maybe you are experiencing tolerance withdrawal symptoms.

[[nu...]]

@[En...] wow very helpful. I don’t take the clonazepam every day. I’m probably having rebound anxiety symptoms. As I’ve been struggling with panic attacks nearly every day for the last 1-2 months… otherwise I only fill my script every 2 months sometimes 3. Furthermore, based off your comment history you seem kind of biased and lean towards demonizing medications. People go on benzos for valid and appropriate reasons but anxiety and mental health disorders are very complex and not a perfect science. Not that you asked for my opinion, but you should consider the stigma already associated with meds/mental health disorders. 

[[nu...]]

@[Le...] I’m sorry you’re going through something similar. I definitely have already told my GP that I would like to transition away from taking benzos to deal with my panic attacks. I’m being referred to a new Psych and I’m going to ask my GP for any alternatives in the mean time. I think taking Klonopin sporadically like I have for the last 3 years could potentially cause a physiological dependence but I think it’s different than taking it every day for the last 3 years. 

I actually had rolling panic attacks prior to starting on any medications. I’ve had panic attacks (to varying degrees) since I was a child and I’m 32 now. I can only speak for myself but my anxiety has been exceptionally high for most of my life even prior to any meds. You’re right, it’s not common for panic attacks to last a long time, but for me they do (not days but hours at times) and actually there is a period of ‘rest’ between each one technically. 

[[Le...]]

yea that is really hard to gauge. perhaps identifying any difference between earlier in you like and now is a good way to start. 

[[Ja...]]

Nuttybanana hi pal,.you are probably feeling the anxiety from the klonopin wearing of,.that’s the thing with these kinds meds you feel the withdrawal quite quickly,.I will say pal I got if zololoft last year and was on anti ds for over 20 year,..and funny enough suffered anxiety while on anti ds,.I jumped on Zoloft for 4 days the other week thinking it would help me go through benzo withdrawal,.Naa did it hell I felt sicker,.shaking like a leaf on day 4,.it took a good 5 days to shake them of to.

[[En...]]

50 minutes ago, [[n...] said:

@[En...] wow very helpful. I don’t take the clonazepam every day. I’m probably having rebound anxiety symptoms. As I’ve been struggling with panic attacks nearly every day for the last 1-2 months… otherwise I only fill my script every 2 months sometimes 3. Furthermore, based off your comment history you seem kind of biased and lean towards demonizing medications. People go on benzos for valid and appropriate reasons but anxiety and mental health disorders are very complex and not a perfect science. Not that you asked for my opinion, but you should consider the stigma already associated with meds/mental health disorders. 

I dont demonize medication I think if you need it to have a normal life that is great. I am taking Prozac so I am on medication. What I do demonize is long term use of benzodiazepines as they are only helpful in the short term and have ruined my life short term. Dr will go right for benzodiazepines and prescribe it long term not realizing the damage these medications do long term. As for antipsychotics if you need them to have a normal life that is great too. But it was prescribed to me for my anxiety and it did work. But it also took away things from me like pleasure and motivation. I need medication to have a normal life and I accept that. I weaned off effexor last year and it lead to a nervous breakdown. Now that I am back on antidepressants i feel normal again with some of my motivation back. I believe if you need it there is no shame. 

[[Le...]]

i believe many many people choose them as easy solutions to short term problems and then have long term side effects they dont ascribe to those drugs. 

[[je...]]

@[nu...]

my personal opinion is that with your irregular use and your previous history of panic attacks it is too difficult to determine whether or not the Clonazepam is contributing to your anxiety. It might or it might not. 

You said you think you’re experiencing withdrawal symptoms. Can you describe those symptoms?

[[Pi...]]

When I started on benzos, I took them irregularly. Then eventually I ended up taking them daily. That's kinda how these drugs work. So yes, I do think you can develop dependence even if they're taken irregularly, especially if taken for a long time. That's my experience. However, the doctor will almost certainly tell you it isn't possible. They'll say your anxiety disorder has gotten worse and that perhaps you need to take more. That's the rabbit hole many of us have fallen into.

Having said that, it is difficult in your case to know what's due to what. Some people have tolerance withdrawal issues from antidepressants as well, so it can become a bit of a muddle. I guess you'll just need to make your own decision about what you do and do not want to be taking. I would suggest doing your research on any meds that you're given, since the doctors aren't always top notch at informing patients adequately of the different possible outcomes. 

Also, if you do think you're dependent on the benzos and want to stop them, I would suggest doing a taper rather than just stopping. I was on quite a "low dose" but I still ended up tapering too fast. It can be surprising how slow one needs to go.

Best of luck!

[[si...]]

On 08/05/2024 at 04:47, [[n...] said:

Hi, I was prescribed Klonopin 0.5mg ~3 years ago. I've been getting refills every 1-2 months (usually only a 14 day supply worth)... however, the last 1.5 months has been extremely rough for me. I'm on Zoloft 150mg and I just upped my dose from 125mg to 150mg ~1.5 months ago... just prior to doing so I had a really bad panic attack. I knew for quite a while (months) that I needed to up my Zoloft dose, but only when my panic attacks got really bad again did I finally do it. Anyway, fast forward to the last 1 month-ish (specifically, the last 19 days) or so and I've had to take Klonopin almost every single day. I don't know how I let myself get so carried away with it, but I think it was the absolute fear in me of when I had another panic attack and wanting to avoid that as much as possible from reoccurring again. I usually don't need to take the Klonopin more than 2 days max in a row and then I can settle myself enough, but it's been absolutely brutal this time around. I tried my best to space the Klonopin out, but my anxiety can get so severe that I have rolling panic attacks. Around the time I got on Zoloft and Klonopin was prescribed to me (~3 years ago) my anxiety was so unbelievably high that they would give me a script for Ativan at the ER and I would take 1mg as soon as I started to feel a panic attack coming on but it wouldn't work... like my panic attack would just be so strong so I'd have to take another one and not even that would work! So I would have to go to the ER and be given Klonopin. I would end up leaving the hospital almost comatose from the amount of Ativan and Clonazepam they would have to give me just to calm down and bring my heart rate down... I only mention this because for the last 3 years I've essentially needed to use the Klonopin in order to calm myself down enough in order to not have to go to the hospital. I do my absolute best to only use it as needed, but if I start having rolling panic attacks I typically feel like 0.5mg is not going to cut it and I would prefer not to re-traumatize myself by going back to the hospital. 

I also have a lot of other methods put in place to help me when I'm having a bad panic attack, such as: cold packs on the neck/chest, humming to stimulate the vagus nerve, vitamin C, etc. 

In the last 19 days, I've probably ended up having to take a total of 13-18mg of Klonopin in total. I still have some left and I've taken steps to follow up with my GP to get a referral to a Psychiatrist... although, this will probably take a while for me to see the Psych since I live in Canada. I'm so anxious and scared that I may have put myself into a withdrawal period from the last 1.5 months, it's now been over 24 hours since I took my last Klonopin (I took about 0.75mg) and I definitely feel funky. I read that the first 1-4 days is tough, but then after that it has the possibility of becoming much worse. I will be open and honest with my GP tomorrow when I talk with him, but I am hugely embarrassed that I haven't been able to handle my panic attacks well enough to not have this happen. anyway thank you for listening if you've gotten this far and if anyone has any tips or advice on how they got through the difficult part of withdrawal I would be so grateful.

Thank you

Wow! You sound like a wonderful person!
Well with the Lorazepam: it never helped me either, no matter what dose.
I have had it after years of Valium and Clonazepam, but the equivalent to 10 mg Diazepem didnt have the slightes effect, neither higher doses. 
Your anxiety and panic attacks sound severe, but you are doing so much to prevent and help it.
If i may say, you shouldnt feel embarrased or shame about anxiety, and not give up: even though that monster is hanging around. Do whats best for you! Sounds pretty simple, but many times i found i had to change a lot: things, circumstances and behaviour i never thought of before, just to give me a relief.
If its to be: that you run naked into the woods and live there for a few days, do it. Just an example, no guarantee. But theres so many things, i find, that pop up in my head, that seem ridiculous.
Some help for a while, some dont. Some compensate. Some make me laugh later.
But theres a source to that anxiety, which has to be ripped out root and stem. I mostly keep taking away the stems, but those bastards keep growing. But that problem is to be seen like a garden, i have to maintain it.
I found some roots, some i ripped out; some are just to deep in the earth and too strong, thats the real motherfckrs, so i try and leave that part for now. But i come back when i have the strenght.
I am new to BB, and english is not my mothertongue: so i dont know what a GP is or ER, i guess theres a Dicitionary somewhere here on this Forum that explains all that? 
As i understand you taken the last dose of clonazepam 24 hours prior to your post, like a taper down, if im right? For me: i feel my tapers mostly after a few days; rarely from the first day. I just tapered from around 4mg to 3mg, 2 months ago: and i was just hiking for days. Didnt feel much of a change then, when i got back to town, i felt it a little more. A month ago, as my doctor said im to fast, i tapered down from 3mg to 2,5 mg, hardly a change at all. Im not working, as i feel i cant do shit jobs, i used to do half my life.
So i have to entertain myself, and manage to survive: which is also a good compensation.
Also entertain me with things i enjoy. And avoid stressful situations or any bad influence.
In the past i tapered down to quickly and my panics would also be unbearable, and i got on it again.
But then i didnt know, what was good for me. At least now i think i know a little better. 
And so i stay in my "cave" until winter passes.
No need to go out into the snow and get a cold or get attacked by wild animals; methaporically speaking.
I think you are doing great, and you dont have to assume its getting worse after those days.
It can be bearable, if you design it that way. You are the master.
Even if that horse is wild and you have trouble staying on it. Its not you: that anxiety! That panic.
Just think of it. It cant be. So if its not you, seperate it from you. Dont identify yourself through it. That will only give the horse power over you. Stay in the saddle; it will get tired, eventually.
And you will learn how to ride it and handle a sudden freak out of it. But its not you. Its that fckng horse!
On day you'll be able to get off it and put it to sleep, so you can walk on your own 2 legs.
I am going a lot off topic or talking in a cloudy way, i feel. I hope you understand and know what i try to say.
You are doing great, as i can tell by your post. Its a matter of time, patience and responsibility, as so many things are. If you cut a tree without killing it, it also finds a way to live: as long as there is sun and water.
You will find a way!

If you have read all that: thank you buddy

 

[[nu...]]

9 hours ago, [[E...] said:

I dont demonize medication I think if you need it to have a normal life that is great. I am taking Prozac so I am on medication. What I do demonize is long term use of benzodiazepines as they are only helpful in the short term and have ruined my life short term. Dr will go right for benzodiazepines and prescribe it long term not realizing the damage these medications do long term. As for antipsychotics if you need them to have a normal life that is great too. But it was prescribed to me for my anxiety and it did work. But it also took away things from me like pleasure and motivation. I need medication to have a normal life and I accept that. I weaned off effexor last year and it lead to a nervous breakdown. Now that I am back on antidepressants i feel normal again with some of my motivation back. I believe if you need it there is no shame. 

Sorry for my reply earlier I re read it just now and realized that it seemed kind of hostile. I’m just really feeling off and dreading trying to sort this situation out. My Family Doctor is a good guy and seems to keep up to date on his research, but I know no one is perfect and anyone even Physicians can make over sights. He only continued my klonopin script because I was assessed by a Psychiatrist at first who stated it would be in my best interest to have a script for klonopin prn with my sertraline. That was 3 years ago, but maybe the Psychiatrist was just tired of me always showing up to the emergency dept having a melt down. I don’t want to take benzos because they make me quite tired, trouble with short term memory but not having panic attacks quite as severe is a fair trade off in my opinion. I do a lot of other things to cope during a panic attack too not just klonopin and it helps but I think it’s the fear of it getting really bad again that kind of takes over. It took the mental health team I’m with forever to convince me to take an antidepressant and benzo because I have a lot of phobia around meds, etc. 

[[nu...]]

9 hours ago, [[L...] said:

i believe many many people choose them as easy solutions to short term problems and then have long term side effects they dont ascribe to those drugs. 

I do understand the intention behind your statement: “easy solutions to short term problems” because that can be true for many people where the problems or so to speak can be short term, but for me personally, I’ve had a fairly traumatic childhood and I do deal with flashbacks, etc. so it definitely isn’t a short term problem for me in my experience. 

[[nu...]]

9 hours ago, [[j...] said:

@[nu...]

my personal opinion is that with your irregular use and your previous history of panic attacks it is too difficult to determine whether or not the Clonazepam is contributing to your anxiety. It might or it might not. 

You said you think you’re experiencing withdrawal symptoms. Can you describe those symptoms?

I really appreciate your replies and effort in approaching my situation unbiasedly (I understand why it’s hard to separate personal experiences and others experiences especially when it comes to such a complex thing like a relationship to benzodiapines) and can tell that you’re a very compassionate person. I also get the feeling that it’s tough to pin point exactly what’s happening, but I also have cardiophobia and a panic disorder. So it might be the two things going on at once and reacting to one another. 
 

In terms of the withdrawal symptoms I want to say that it’s mainly panic attacks (specifically, around 5am when cortisol levels usually spike for people waking up but I seem to have an over reaction to it). Also body aches and pains, headaches but I’ve got fibromyalgia so that also makes it tough to tell what is what haha. Im just hoping that I didn’t screw myself over the last month. I told my GP today about how often I’ve felt the need to take the klonopin this last month and he is referring me to a new Psych but not sure if he has any experience with trying to do tapers or how to even go about that. 

[[je...]]

45 minutes ago, [[n...] said:

I really appreciate your replies and effort in approaching my situation unbiasedly (I understand why it’s hard to separate personal experiences and others experiences especially when it comes to such a complex thing like a relationship to benzodiapines) and can tell that you’re a very compassionate person. I also get the feeling that it’s tough to pin point exactly what’s happening, but I also have cardiophobia and a panic disorder. So it might be the two things going on at once and reacting to one another. 
 

In terms of the withdrawal symptoms I want to say that it’s mainly panic attacks (specifically, around 5am when cortisol levels usually spike for people waking up but I seem to have an over reaction to it). Also body aches and pains, headaches but I’ve got fibromyalgia so that also makes it tough to tell what is what haha. Im just hoping that I didn’t screw myself over the last month. I told my GP today about how often I’ve felt the need to take the klonopin this last month and he is referring me to a new Psych but not sure if he has any experience with trying to do tapers or how to even go about that. 

Your medical history is quite complicated and I agree with you that it's hard to pinpoint what might be causing/contributing to your symptoms. You also mentioned you recently increased your Zoloft dose. I don't know if this might contribute to your symptoms as well. Generally what we would recommend in these situations is that if you are functional and you can manage your symptoms to tough it out. Functional does not mean feeling great or good, it simply means you can do the daily tasks that are expected of you. If your symptoms are too difficult to manage, then we recommend a taper.

I do understand that your panic attacks and anxiety might be quite debilitating and rendering you non-functional, but I'm not sure that a slow taper will make this easier as this a pre-existing condition. Your anxiety might remain the same and you could end up with a lot more additional symptoms (if you deepen your dependency by regular use for several months). But if you feel your other symptoms are not manageable then it might be worthwhile to consider a taper. Ultimately you are the person that knows your body/situation the best and therefore you are best to judge how you want to approach this. Whatever you decide to do, we will support you. 

 

[[En...]]

5 hours ago, [[n...] said:

Sorry for my reply earlier I re read it just now and realized that it seemed kind of hostile. I’m just really feeling off and dreading trying to sort this situation out. My Family Doctor is a good guy and seems to keep up to date on his research, but I know no one is perfect and anyone even Physicians can make over sights. He only continued my klonopin script because I was assessed by a Psychiatrist at first who stated it would be in my best interest to have a script for klonopin prn with my sertraline. That was 3 years ago, but maybe the Psychiatrist was just tired of me always showing up to the emergency dept having a melt down. I don’t want to take benzos because they make me quite tired, trouble with short term memory but not having panic attacks quite as severe is a fair trade off in my opinion. I do a lot of other things to cope during a panic attack too not just klonopin and it helps but I think it’s the fear of it getting really bad again that kind of takes over. It took the mental health team I’m with forever to convince me to take an antidepressant and benzo because I have a lot of phobia around meds, etc. 

I dont mean to come off hostile. I am telling my history of my experience on this medication. It has been pure hell. I look back now and see how much I suffered. It has been the worst time of my life. These meds have destroyed my life. Everything in my life has been affected. I worry about my job if it will ever be the same again. I'm sure they found a way to make things work without meand I worry they may not need me anymore. I accept I need the Prrozac and will remain on it as it keeps my overthinking at bay. I have bad OCD and it affects my life. That is why I am in this position. I used clonazepam as a rescue medication because I weaned off my meds. I have an underlying mental illness and i accept that. If anything i understand some people need these meds and there is no shame in that. Some people do not understand mental illness and demonize medication. Yes you are right there is a stigma on mental illness. I believe if you have mental illness you should be treated to help you have a normal life without the need for benzodiazepines. Those are only short term relief and will ruin your life long term. They have a place in life such as before a surgery. I do demonize using them long term. Dr should know better than to do that to their patients. At least inform them of long term use. My Dr did not inform me and I found out the harsh way. Now I have a hard time trusting my Dr. He made it sound like these meds are commonly given to his patients and everyone weans off it like it was no issue. When I am done with this medication I will tell my Dr to inform his patients of the dangers of taking this medication long term. He should have never prescribed me more than a week. He should have had me trying to go on antidepressants. That is maintenance medication not clonazepam. I feel he may not care about the people he treats. I will find another Dr when I am done this. In Canada it is difficult to find a good Dr. 

I do not hold any I'll feelings to you. We are all going through a difficult time being on this medication and our brains are fooling us. I believe if we get off this medication we will heal completely and be the people we once were. If you have underlying issues you should take care of those while you are weaning so you do not go back to benzodiazepines as a rescue ever again. I dont plan on ever being on this medication ever again. I will avoid it at all cost. 

Bless you and I wish you luck.