18 - 30 Month Plus Group

[[so...]]

BT,

 

I think many, if not all, of the issues you have might disappear when you are healed from the Benzo and remeron, unless you had these issues prior to benzos.  I'm not a doctor, but many people on the forum who have been told by physicians and naturopaths and nutritionists that they have conditions and illnesses heal from them when they are fully recovered from benzos and other drugs they had been taking.  I guess it is a matter of who you trust with your health and your future.  If the supplements make you feel worse, I would not take them unless it was a life or death situation.  But that's just me and I haven't seen a doctor in a long time. 

 

It's a tough decision.  In the end, it is yours to make.

 

Sofa

 

 

[[Te...]]

Hey guys.....can one describe air hunger?

 

I'm having problems with my breathing....it's almost as my body doesn't breath...like I'm holding my breath under water .....I can just be sitting and it's like I have to take a deep breath because I feel like I have no air....notice it at times right before falling asleep....hate this...

I've down several breathing test....and chest x Ray.....lungs are good

If this is anxiety.....idk

 

Wish everyone a great weekend......

 

TM

[[Wo...]]

TM, I read your post before I read your signature and I said to myself, "she must have been on Klonopin." Then I looked down, sure enough. I don't know how it works, but Klon messes with our respiratory system something awful. I'm sure it will fade as you get better. I got similar symptoms in the early months after jumping. It goes away. I hope you feel better.

[[dr...]]

TM-I get lots of stuff like that.  Sometimes it feels like I have to remind myself to breathe or my lungs just feel empty.  Weird stuff.

[[Sa...]]

Hey guys,

 

I am in my 14th off and was suffering severe pain in my right leg..knee area but suddenly lthe left one started as well...does this mean it will take another 14th months to heal?

[[Fi...]]

Sandraflower--No, it doesn't mean anything except that WD makes you have random pains all over the place that come and go.  Don't bother chasing each pain down with a doctor.  Only time will  make the pains go away.

 

I've found it actually kind of comforting to take this attitude.  I used to be something of a hypochondriac, but WD has allowed me to just dismiss from my mind any thoughts of whether I should see a doctor.  I just tell myself everything is withdrawal and everything is going away.  Not as fast as I wanted and still not as completely, but clearly that's the direction.

 

The pain we have in withdrawal is not acute pain that is trying to alert you that you've hurt your knee, for example.  It's just messed up brain wiring and signifies nothing about the place your wacky brain has managed to make hurt.  Well, one exception--I do think sometimes pains will settle in our weak spots, our Achilles heels.

 

There's just no predicting how long healing will take and in spite of some folks insisting they'd be better off if they could only KNOW when they'd be well, I don't think this is true.  Most people seem to take longer than they hope.  Personally I'm glad I didn't know what I was in for!

[[Wo...]]

Hey guys,

 

I am in my 14th off and was suffering severe pain in my right leg..knee area but suddenly lthe left one started as well...does this mean it will take another 14th months to heal?

 

Knee pain isn't necessarily related to WD. You might want to get it checked out by a Dr. Especially if it's severe. Knee pain is very common with or without benzos. I've dealt with it from many years of playing basketball. It's very treatable with physical therapy.

 

I won't venture a guess what's causing the pain, but I would guess that it's migrated to the other knee because we often compensate by putting our weight on our "good" knee without knowing it.

 

A Dr. can examine your knee and figure out what's wrong. If you get it checked out, report back to us. If it's Patella Femoral syndrome, (which is very common), I have some helpful tips. Good luck!

[[Fi...]]

Sandra-- I still vote for waiting awhile on the knee pain before hurrying to the doctor.  I'm a veteran of eight knee surgeries including total knee replacement so I've had some experience with knee pain.  You don't really have much to lose by waiting awhile.  Odds are good your pain will migrate elsewhere!  I had a bout of shoulder pain that lasted several months and then went away.  And I'm a person who's never had shoulder issues at all.  My shoulders are FINE now.

 

I guess I'm kind of prejudiced against doctors for things like this because they really aren't that great at HEALING. I did go to a doc when I broke my ankle a year ago.  That was pain sending a message.

[[...]]

I stay away from dr's unless it's life threatening or if I was physically injured. The pain is awful, but it moves around, comes and goes. If I went to a dr, I'm pretty sure they would be clueless or confuse my poor tired brain with random diagnosises or worse. I don't trust their judgement when going through this,so I agree with FJ, but that's just me.

 

Well I'm still in a monster wave, feeling like I'm drowning and haven't posted as I'm sick of being negative. I'm trying to tell myself of all the wonderful things I have in my life, as I have. Unfortunately I haven't got enough chemicals to really feel it but I am trying. I'm off work this week which I need as I'm exhausted but left to my own devices I'm afraid of dropping down the rabbit hole. I have no energy, motivation or organised thoughts to do anything productive. I'm forcing myself to go for a walk now to try to wake me up as if I take a nap I will probably feel crappy.

 

Hope everyone is doing ok, I've missed all your updates. Hope that's a good sign and I will follow soon

[[ci...]]

marj, I so agree, I stay away from doctors, they have done me more harm than good. During tolerance WD, my gallbladder was removed and it was healthy. I had severe joint pain for 2 weeks , could not move or use my left hand, wrist and fingers, then it completely went away. I had rapid heart palps for weeks and then completely go away. Now I have intense bladder spasms and only because there is blood in my urine, I knew I had another UTI, confirmed with a culture that I agreed to take an AB to treat (But not cipro). All my mental sxs left 10 months ago, but when I see a white medical coat coming in my direction, OMG! I run, literally!

[[...]]

I believe most Dr's are well intentioned but clueless when it comes to Benzo withdrawal.  I just switched from seeing an MD to a DO.  This DO believes in eating healthy foods, getting plenty of rest, daily exercise and staying hydrated.  He knew about Benzo withdrawals.  I am not taking any medications.  He thought that was just great.  I don't intend to take anything again unless my life depends on it.  (Cindy, I would take a medication for a UTI that was confirmed by a culture.)  I have some strange swellings on the bottom of one foot, when I asked the DO about them, I loved his answer.  He said "I don't know".  I love it when a medical professional can admit that they do not know the answer to everything.

[[co...]]

Hi all. I don't really belong here, I'm 15 months off but I can't sleep so I'm lurking to see what I'm in for if I don't heal soon, lol. Hope we're all healed soon. No offence but I'm not looking forward to joining your group,lol

[[dr...]]

welcome confused...well we don't want you here either

 

Hi all....I think my wave is waning.  I have gone three nights with no adrenaline stuff/panic/palps.  It is also way less if at all each day and no glutamate storms. I still have my head pressure and weird head stuff but eyes and head pain have been better.  At this point it's progress.  I just keep repeating to myself "they are just symptoms that are temporary".  that mantra seems to be helping me today as I don't focus on them being there forever. 

[[co...]]

Hey Drew, most of my physical symptoms are gone but like you said, lots of weird head stuff. Band of pain around my eyes, a fleeting dizziness that comes and goes, insane tinnitus. Are these typical this far out? I'm starting to have that old worry creep in that something else is wrong with me. I took on average 1mg or less xanax for around 4 months. Hard to believe it's still affecting me this bad this far out. But on the bright side, I have a lot of my life back and nowhere near the amount of symptoms. I'm glad you're finding some relief.

[[dr...]]

All normal stuff and I had some of my worst times in the 12-18 month area.  the only comfort in this is that we all have very similar stuff with our own personal one offs that makes us think we are different.  We are not.

[[co...]]

Thanks. I had a really nice window at 12 months and thought maybe I was healed. Then bam! Christmas day I got hit and still feel crappy. Trying hard to keep hope alive. The only drugs I have in my system are caffeine and nicotine from vaping. I was thinking about quitting them because I swear it feels like I'm drugged, almost like a hangover feeling. I only drink a couple cups in the morning and no soft drinks. I vape an ultra low nicotine flavor. When I took my physical for life insurance, they didn't even detect any nicotine. I guess it's benzos but hard to believe if I didn't see so many others here suffering this far out. Take care.

[[dr...]]

you might want to cut out the coffee very slowly over a month or so.  I started drinking one cup a day for the cog fog and migraines when I was about six months out.  I didn't realize it until later but it was causing adrenaline spikes and anxiety later in the day.  I still get them when in a wave but the caffeine made it much worse.  sucks.... 

[[ci...]]

drew, just saying hello. I follow all your posts. You are making progress....hang in there.

 

Always, cindy

[[dr...]]

Hi cindys. 

 

I jinxed myself. Got hit with a big glutamate storm from 2-3:30.  Palps, boatiness, breathlessness, anxiety.  Etc...  Didn't feed he beast and avoided the secondary panic.  Once the adrenaline wore off I was pooped.  Just laid in bed staring into nothingness.  Feeling better now.  Love this process

[[so...]]

Hey Drew,

 

I get hit with the glutamate storm every day.  It lasts for 5-7 hours.  Sometimes longer.  It's the only reason I sleep at night.  I'm exhausted.

 

Hang in there.

 

Sofa

[[ci...]]

I just realized I always just feel like sh--. Some days more or less....but always shitty.

[[Te...]]

Hi guys....just reading post....trying to play catch up on everyone...

I'm praying for everyone here....so sorry you all have to deal with withdrawal symptoms...wish the nightmare would stop.....

 

Wanted to share went to a new doctor ....who did an ekg......he said .....Drew....that I'm forgetting to take breaths at times.....how does one forget to breath at my age....

 

Also did this test ....which indicated my GABA was super high.....I just laughed...

Of course ....he said no wonder you don't sleep.....I'm wondering if I ever will.....sleep right again....

Idk...

 

Hugs!

TM

 

 

[[dr...]]

TM-interesting. What test is there for gaba?

[[Bl...]]

How do you know if it's glutamate or adrenaline? Are there lab tests you can do? I've been assuming my adrenal glands are so stressed that they are not able to produce enough cortisol and are now spewing out adrenaline. I really don't know at this point. Waiting on 24 hour saliva cortisol/hormone test results. I am having problems with blood pressure--low then high and back down again. I have had this problem before during acute and now it's back with a vengeance. I make some salt water to drink with Celtic salt when I feel light-headed. Seems to help--and stay hydrated. Just scared that I have yet another autoimmune disease. I really need to stop Googling health problems since I read that there is research showing that POTS can be caused by autoimmunity. 

[[Mi...]]

Definitely stop googling! 

 

Hey ya All, just stopping bye. I have been feeling pretty good again! I have had only a day or two of not so great all month!  My stomach has really settled down my throat squeezes have calmed way way down. The anxiety and fear have went from 24/7 for two years down to mini spikes here and there.  The agoraphobia has 100% lifted!

I still have some minor intrusive thoughts now and then but I am hitting them straight out of the ball park. And the never ending health fears, I am starting to realize just how insane they truly are!!!!!  I used to say most all my sx were physical but now I REALIZE it's all MENTAL/EMOTIONAL benzo withdrawal induced..    No I am NOT saying I don't have any physical sx as I have had many many tests and ALL have showed muscle spasms! The throat, esophagus, even stomach.  I am just saying now that my mental state is finally improving my body is really CALMING down as well!  I have a lot more energy most days some I am still shot! But I can clearly see that it's perfectly NORMAL! Ofcourse our bodies are worn down and ofcourse our nervous system is still fragile when addition stress is added right now!  It's NORMAL!  My God what we have all been through!  So please don't Google!  Ofcourse our immune sx aren't up to par! It's NORMAL...  Anyone who has been through this ordeal knows the amount of stress your body has been through to sometimes just make it through to the next minute let alone 18 plus months!!!!  So yes our immune sx are probably shot right now. Our bodies, muscles ect...  Are shot right now!  But if you were healthy before you WILL be again. And I promise you, that when you get close to the end you will see this clearly and understand. Be kind to yourself do not add any additional stress.  If you have to cancel your internet, do NOT let yourself Google ANY medical conditions!  It is what it is WITHDRAWL until it isn't!

I am not trying to sound harsh I literally did the same thing.  But all it did was freak me out and make every ache and pain into some rare disease that was FORSURE going to kill me within the hour!  Every muscle spasm was something deadly! I FORSURE had throat, esophagus, and stomach cancer.  I also had heart disease and just knew I was going to have a heart attack at any moment.  The numbness and wired pains were for sure a sign I was sure to stroke out at any moment. And I had to be within 5 miles of a hospital at all times because my throat would surely close up on me at any given moment.  Oh I also was convinced I was going blind or had a brain tumor because my vision went from 20/20 to shit! I also thought for sure I was going insane of had some kind of mental illness!  Ofcourse googled and diagnosed myself pretty much into a straight jacket for the rest of my life.  Oh also at one point I had chrones and IBS. I also had lung cancer and/or asthma because my breathing was off. Most nights I couldn't fall asleep because if I didn't count my breathing Breaths I surely was going to quit breathing and die in my sleep. I actually slept fully dressed for about 2 years so I would be ready for the ambulance.....   

 

Anyways my point I kept saying all my sx were physical after the first year or so because my dr and psychosis episodes were pretty much non existent. BUT it wasn't until recently that I started to calm down emotionally and mentally. And it's amazing how strong our minds are and what it can do to the rest of our body.  Once my anxiety calmed my throat relaxed my stomach pains ect...  Started improving.  And I am not talking about normal Anxietys I am talking about crawl out of your own skin anxiety and the STRESS OMG the stress! Will I ever get better? Am I literally going to make it through the day alive Stress?  I don't trust myself, my own mind Stress!  The stress only a benzo WITHDRAWL survivor would understand!  So yes our bodies Ofcourse are having aches pains twitches numbing ect....  And yeah our systems are shot right now! My immune sx has been wretched. I have had influenza, Utis, kidney infection, respiratory infection, staph infection! It's been insane! And now dealing with a cold/respiratory and more weird boils/skin infection!  If someone literally looks at me while they are sick I get it.  But, somehow someway my body has been able to fight it all off! I am still here breathing, healing, and typing away....  And no I don't think I am forever doomed with a auto immune disease ect...  I am certain the stress I have been under has really messed up my entire sx. And I am going to continue being KIND to myself, eating only fresh whole foods as I am still extremely reactive to gluten ect. And doing yoga, meditation.  Only watching comedy and light stuff. Reading only encouraging posts! I love this thread!  And choosing love over fear! Including myself, truly loving myself window or wave! Reading amazing books on healing...  And NOT referring to Dr. Google! I refuse to do the what ifs anymore! I have freaking survived benzo WITHDRAWL! I will survive whatever comes my way!  If something is driving you crazy and adding major stress get it checked out if it's really adding to your Anxietys. But then let it go!

 

Love you All!