Worse symptoms: did they precede lessened symptoms for you?

[[Sw...]]

I am having the classic waves and windows but feel as though my waves are worse than before… is anyone familiar with this or also experienced increased symptoms in waves followed by significant improvement in windows?

[[jo...]]

1 minute ago, [[S...] said:

I am having the classic waves and windows but feel as though my waves are worse than before… is anyone familiar with this or also experienced increased symptoms in waves followed by significant improvement in windows?

Hi SweetSurrender, I am 3 1/2 months out and have had a wave of around 2 weeks now which has probably been the most intense part so far. it's just starting to let up a little. I had a few beers a day or two before and suspect that might be the culprit but not sure. I might have just been due a wave. I dont think it's that unusual.

[[Sw...]]

Thank you @[jo...] 

my waves and windows have been pretty regular but this wave is BAD! So just wondering why I am having such a bad one at 5 1/2 months out 

[[Sw...]]

Hey I need people to help me through this is a pretty bad wave.

 

can people chime in on worse waves ?

[[Pi...]]

It's common and especially around that 6 month mark. Not sure why, but a lot of people experience that including me. It was upsetting at the time, but I've learned to let these things go as much as possible because there is no rhyme or reason to this process. Best to just take it as it comes as it can really be all over the place.

I know for myself that bad waves often precede an improvement in my baseline so maybe that will be the case for you. Recovery's a bit like being caught in a riptide. It's worse if you fight against it. 

Hang in there!

[[jo...]]

I'm not as far out as you but I am experiencing the windows and waves pattern too. The last wave I had was the worst but I think I am coming out of it and so will you. The uncertainty of what's around the corner is almost a symptom of its own I'm starting to feel. Keep strong!

[[Sw...]]

Thank you guys for the input I need all the positive support I can get to push through this wave. I believe it will get better. I guess I’ve been quite pampered with some stability and feel thrown off right now. 

[[Rh...]]

I’m almost 10 months out and yes, my waves can feel WORSE than previous ones and usually they are followed by more improvements (but not always).  This journey to healing is so unpredictable and non-linear so it’s very hard to manage our feelings and emotions when we have a good window followed by an intense wave!

Hang in there, this too shall pass!  

[[La...]]

I just so happened to see this as I log in mainly to just check my messages. I’m 46 months and I thought an experienced buddy could help ease your mind. Although I’m not healed, I’m about 80%. When I was in my first year I hit a rough patch twice (month 4 and 6-7). When I came out of that in about a month and half, my baseline was improved. I had even started to drive and ride in the car again. I was elated because it was right on time for when my granddaughter was born. I was able to get in the car 2-3 times to hold her. Now, that window lasted about a month then I was slammed again at my 1 year mark…again at around 16 months and at 2 years. I’m between I had normal waves and windows throughout the week. Now I have normal waves and windows throughout the day with about 2 days in the middle of the week are rougher. Now when I get a “ slam” it is only situational caused by something very stressful. Even then, it’s short lived and milder than the earlier 2 years. This recovery is a roller coaster of weird, upsetting, uncomfortable, non linear, frustrating and unexpected turns…But if you look back at things at a 6 month interval then you will see healing even though you still might feel bad. As you let time be your best friend, you will find that waves doesn’t mean you’re to healing. They mean you are! Give yourself some extra love when things are rough. Have good coping skills or tools to stay calm and stress free as possible. These slams at certain times are very common. 

[[...]]

10 hours ago, [[S...] said:

Thank you @[jo...] 

my waves and windows have been pretty regular but this wave is BAD! So just wondering why I am having such a bad one at 5 1/2 months out 

Hi, SweetSurreder) Sorry for you going through the hell again, i mean the waves are so hard to accept after being better for a while and we tend to get tired more and more each time.

My worst so far wave was exactly 5-6 months of being benzo free. Everything came back plus something new. Just couldn't believe it. But it passed! And some time later, i went up to a new stable level of the wd. The intensity of my symptoms seems to have been getting steadily less and less ever since, although the symptoms are still popping up.

Hope you'll soon feel better. Good luck to you!)

[[Sw...]]

Thank you everyone for posting it’s so helpful to be in the midst of a community that has been where I am. 
 

@[La...] it sounds like you have clear patterns now during the week of what your healing looks like. Thank you for sharing your experience with me. Are you feeling good these days?

 

@[Rh...] thank you for your encouragement. What’s a normal week like for you these day?

 

@[...] thank you for sharing and offering support. Can you tell me a little bit more about your experience this far? 

[[La...]]

Sweet, I’m feeling mild symptoms and waves most of the week. So overall I’m feeling decent. I have noticed recently I feel a little rougher than last month. But I’ve noticed I’m doing this every month now…one month better and another not as good but doable. This isn’t surprising to me because my waves and symptoms are doing some fine tuning. Like finding the station on a radio dial. In March it found my station pretty well although not clear. April it was staticky. 
but I will say I did have some stressful things in April as well as life changing events coming up very shortly that I had to figure out how to manage getting them done. It would naturally cause anyone a little stress but to us our bodies overreact to stress. But the good news is that I’m finding I bounce back much quicker and the symptoms are milder. That’s how it is for us around 4 years if we haven’t healed by then. Thanks for asking. I hope you are pampering yourself everyday! 

[[Rh...]]

2 hours ago, [[S...] said:

 thank you for your encouragement. What’s a normal week like for you these day?

So my pattern is strange.  I usually have about 1-1/2 weeks where I am feeling pretty good and hardly any symptoms other than fatigue and maybe some less intense things.  Then for a week I’m just blah and not too good, then another 1-1/2 weeks of feeling back to acute.  The blah and back to acute days are always when I’m in my monthly cycle (sorry if TMI) so I can predict things a little.

But I’m still no where near healed and when I’m in my worst times, it literally feels back to acute.  I do notice very small improvements, but I also have new symptoms, so it’s all really a rollercoaster ride.

 

Edited May 6 by [Rh...]
Spelling/grammar

[[...]]

@[Sw...], do you mean what my withdrawal feels like?  I'll try to make it short)

I hit tolerance about 3 years ago and it was tough on me. Didn't know the little pill was responsible for the suffering. Did the tapering for 6+ months. It was awful but not much worse than tolerance/ interdose withdrawal. At the end of the taper, i felt like i'm a human again but a very sick one. The first few months in wd were ups and downs. Was very jumpy and shaky in general and had all kind of painful weird symptoms when it was down. About 5-6 month i felt all the issues, even those i experienced while tapering attacked me again. By and by my usual ups and downs came back. I had a kind of  qualitative leap after 8th month. It was quite all of a sudden. I realised the chemical irresistible anxiety was gone and everything felt much better without it, even the symptom of pain, which i'm prone to. The intensity of physical symptoms left seems to have been going down ever since. But i won't be much surprised if something comes back. It's all so unpredictable. But I've also learned that it always goes. Is it what you asked me about?)

[[Tw...]]

[[...]]

1 hour ago, [[T...] said:

@[...]How were you able to work when you were experiencing all of those symptoms? 

@[Tw...], i couldn't work at all but i had some unavoidable duties i somehow tried to manage.  I hadn't been able to work for the last 1.5 year of being in severe tolerance either. Can't imagine how people cope with work while going through this hell...