18 - 30 Month Plus Group

[[Se...]]

Thanks, Drew.

 

Dear Lord, this is rough.  That's all I got right now.

 

Love to all... love to all... love to all...  :smitten:

[[...]]

Well, I'm in good company then and wasn't going to post as it's been pretty bad today and I can't think straight. Things let up yesterday and when I came home from work I was pretty functional, motivation to get some things done and felt that the storm had broken only for it to return in full force today. Just been to the supermarket in a complete daze and with my upper body in total spasm. I walked round pretending to be normal, whilst screaming inside. I feel like you Drew, totally beaten up. I cannot believe how you can switch so dramatically.

 

Hi Serenity (I often wonder how you are) and Jackie (I follow your progress and think you're a trouper), it's good to have you here with us. The more the merrier so to speak.

 

Much love 

[[ja...]]

Hi Marj, is it possible that this cycling in and out is our brain working extra hard and healing is right around the corner? 

 

Love and hugs

Jackie :smitten:

[[...]]

Hi Marj, is it possible that this cycling in and out is our brain working extra hard and healing is right around the corner? 

 

Love and hugs

Jackie :smitten:

 

Jackie, I sooooooooo hope that is the case.

 

Love and hugs to you, keep going we will beat this    :smitten:

[[dr...]]

Marj...you talk to Ian lately? 

 

All I'm trying to do is stay positive but doubts keep trying to jump in. Using all my tools to just be accepting that I am having a bad day and tomorrow can be better. Damn I hope so.

[[dr...]]

It's a comfort in a sort of sick way that I'm not alone going through this.  I had some panc issues before the meds but I don't remember anything like this  my brain is telling me this is the "real me".  All benzo lies but they are strong today.

[[ca...]]

It's a comfort in a sort of sick way that I'm not alone going through this.  I had some panc issues before the meds but I don't remember anything like this  my brain is telling me this is the "real me".  All benzo lies but they are strong today.

 

I could have written this post myself.  The benzo symptoms provide the lies but let the evident healing symptoms be the truth.  I have days where i get the awful heavy brain pressure.  I'm just grateful the band around the brain symptom is nearly nonexist.  Each time it appeared it brought a slew of other cognitive symptoms.

[[dr...]]

We will get there...we just have to pay a few more dues before we get our ticket punched.

 

Just read many uplifting passages from Baylissa's book. Always helps.

[[Mi...]]

Hang in there guys!  I am waving today as well!  Rapid heart rate on and off and some anxiety back! It truly is amazing how this stuff just latches back on! 

Drew don't believe the benzo lies!  Remember how well you did, you left the country got married!  I am hanging on to my accomplishments over this past month for dear life during this wave.  Remember yours! 

 

We ARE healing

 

[[Fi...]]

Hang in there, you guys.  The other day I had the first certifiably BAD day in two months.  I'm perfectly fine now, but I'm here to testify that yes, it's outrageous how completely impossible it is to keep the faith that healing is continuing, even when you're down for such a short time.  When you're in the middle of it--forget it, it seems hopeless.

 

The only solution is for those of us who are feeling better to keep reminding you that it just can't hang on forever and one of these days this will be behind you for good.  You've had to be brave before and you will be able to continue being brave just as long as you need to be, impossible as it seems.

[[...]]

Drew, I spoke to Ian I think it was Wednesday. I was worrying at work that I had dementia, couldn't concentrate and feared a panic. I've been like that all week apart from yesterday evening, where I just don't feel in control of my thoughts and of course they are telling me horrible things. Ian said firstly, I don't have dementia or anything else for that matter; you can tell that he's used to having this type of conversation many times a day. He said our brain chemistry is messed up at the moment but it will sort itself out. Sometimes I cry saying, I just don't feel any joy, and he says, no you won't, but you will. Everyone thinks they either have something else or that they will never get better and this is them now. He thought exactly the same. He has said loads of times, Oh, I never believed I would get better, I thought I was stuck like that. There are loads of people being supported by them who are at this 20 - 24ish stage and he says all of them are awful, exactly like me and saying the same things. I think I've said all this before, but it even helps me to write it out again as it makes me think of his voice saying ''you will get better, honestly, even though you don't believe it now''. I have to believe him as he has done this for 30 years and says he wouldn't do it if we didn't recover. He has also said a few times that when we get through it we will be so glad we did it and will be a better version of ourselves.

 

We are healing 

 

I know what you mean about not being alone feeling so rubbish.... safety in numbers. God this is hard.

[[...]]

Hang in there, you guys.  The other day I had the first certifiably BAD day in two months.  I'm perfectly fine now, but I'm here to testify that yes, it's outrageous how completely impossible it is to keep the faith that healing is continuing, even when you're down for such a short time.  When you're in the middle of it--forget it, it seems hopeless.

 

The only solution is for those of us who are feeling better to keep reminding you that it just can't hang on forever and one of these days this will be behind you for good.  You've had to be brave before and you will be able to continue being brave just as long as you need to be, impossible as it seems.

 

Thanks FJ, helps a lot. Want to be where you are 

[[dr...]]

Always helps Marj.  Thx fj

[[Ko...]]

Thanks to everyone for all your positive support. I hope Ian is right and we will all heal soon.

[[ci...]]

Marj, thank you so much for sharing your conversations with Ian, I truly appreciate it.

 

 

Always, cindy

[[Wo...]]

I believe what Ian has to say now more than ever. Not long ago I was down to zero hope. I was positive I was stuck forever. To have our biggest waves so far out is just so discouraging. But I think the biggest waves lead to the biggest improvements. I know it will turn for the better for everyone suffering right now. It sucks during long waves that seem to never end, but they will end. They always do.

[[Mi...]]

Wow!  So encouraging absolutely grateful! After feeling so well and now so wretched I was really really getting panicked and depressed today. With ofcourse the what ifs! I was really truly for the first time in a long long time thinking this is permanent, I am the one who never gets all her marbles back! Maybe since I was the one who actually went abit psychosis this is as good as my brain will get!  Its truly been a wretched day....  Then I logged on and you all are amazing!  Marj and FJ THANKYOU for sharing! 

[[...]]

Atrocious anxiety and fear. Really don't understand it. All that reassurance just goes out of the window when it's like this and I feel I'm feeding it. Trying to distract, done my ironing but just want to crawl out of my skin. Probably not helped by ignorant family. Amazing how a small comment can bring me down. I can do this!!!

[[so...]]

Boy do I know that anxiety, Marj.  Brutal.  It will pass.

 

Love and hugs, Sofa

[[Mi...]]

Yes you can do this Marj!  You are not alone, I know all to well crawl out of your skin anxiety....

 

Sending Hugs your wAy!

[[dr...]]

Hi all...last night my head pressure/cog fog or whatever it was just went down by 90% in about five minutes.  Crazy!  I even slept straight through frm10:30-4:45 w no cortisol crap.  Still can't sleep later than that but I'm thankful.  Feeling much better today.  It's only 11:30am but I haven't had this much decentness in three weeks.

[[Wo...]]

That's great to hear Drew. It has to turn sometime. The last month I've only had one night of cortisol rushes. It seems like windows are getting longer at this point. You could be close to a big turn for the better.

[[so...]]

Awesome Drew!!!!!!  Awesome!!!!

[[dr...]]

Thx sofa and wonder....I got hit again this afternoon but at least I finally got some relief to come up for air.  Even just getting a 1/2 day renewed my hope it will end. That was the longest I went without a break as long as I remember. 

 

Funny how even a small break can help.

[[so...]]

Absolutely, Drew.  Remember that every time you get relief, for however long it lasts, is a sign you are healing.  Things may come back occasionally but, if your brain got t right temporarily, it can get it right permanently.

 

Love, Sofa