18 - 30 Month Plus Group

[[Mi...]]

Stuck,  yes.  I had them up until about 22 months.  They are rare now.  These days I just kinda daze off here or there but no head aches or zaps anymore.  Some inner vibrations sometimes... 

I know how scary they can be. Hopefully they will let up soon. Your doing great keep going!

[[Co...]]

Marj....I want to thank you so much for generously sharing your phone conversations with Ian et. al. ....It is huge encouragement....So many of us can not afford the minutes with these authors and w/d specislists....others of us don't have the mental clarity or absence of anxiety on any given day that would allow us to engage with them in a phone conversation.  I was also still having plenty of wavy sx heavy days at months 21/22...one of my worst waves was a 3 month stretch from month 17/18 - 21/22.  ..At month 27 I am feeling almost done ( knock on wood)

    Please don't ever give up hope....without hope you are left only with despair......it's hard to heal if all you have is despair

  Wishing you sunbreaks and continued moving forward..........coop

[[St...]]

Hey could really do with all your thoughts on something please. My recent blood work has come back and my B12 score is 191 generally anything less than 200 is considered a deficiency and around 350-400 is considered optimal. My doctor wants me to start B12 injections straight away but I know B vitamins and basically any supplement sets me off because my nervous system can't handle them at the moment. As I'm actually deficient I don't think I should be saying no to the injections, but will aggravating my nervous system slow down my healing?

 

http://www.health.harvard.edu/vitamins-and-supplements/getting-enough-vitamin-b12

 

"A blood test can determine your B12 levels. Depending on the laboratory, a normal range is anywhere between 200 to 900 picograms per milliliter (pg/ml). Most experts agree that values less than 200 pg/ml make up a B12 deficiency. Others say that a blood level of at least 350 pg/ml is optimal.”

 

Also up to now i have been putting all my neurological symptoms and fatigue down to benzo withdrawal, particularly all the tingling and vibrations, but my doctor is saying they are classic signs of a B12 deficiency too? This has put my mind in a spin... could most of what I'm experiencing be a B12 deficiency? The thing that doesn't quite add up though is that all the tingling and vibrations only started straight after I jumped cold turkey off Xanax, was the Xanax helping to mask the deficiency?

 

I can't think straight at all at the moment, so I just thought I'd ask you lot what you make of this as if I start talking to anyone else I just sound mad to them I think my doctor is so convinced about the B12 deficiency because he just struggles to believe how my withdrawal symptoms could still be so bad after 14 months. I have to be honest after not having a window yet and not seeing any improvement over the last six months I was starting to have doubts myself.

[[mr...]]

SID,

 

Step one: BREATHE There is nothing you "have to" do that a doctor tells you. I find great peace and solace in remembering that.

 

What you might be able to do is to sorta "stair-step" your way into getting more b-12 in your system, to help calm your concerns and to prove to yourself that you wouldn't react to it. You could start by finding the smallest dose of b-12 you can find in a quality form, perhaps even a sublingual (chewable) form. Then, begin by taking just a nibble of it each day, one a teensy bit bigger than the previous. Start your nibble at an amount that seems completely benign to you. Then, when you see that you are responding just fine to it, you can move forward with no fear This was how I took medicine a couple times during withdrawal You can work your way up to a whole tablet, then two, then perhaps the shot.

 

Up to you however you choose to handle it, of course! Remember that you are always in the drivers seat regarding your body

 

Hope you are feeling better soon! Take care buddy,

 

Mrs.

[[go...]]

Hello everyone! I haven't been on for a long time. I have improved drastically from the early days but I still feel like I am fighting for my life. I fight to keep obsessive thoughts at bay and I am also dealing off and on with Insomnia. Now my anxiety is over not getting enough sleep. I wonder to myself "Could this really still be withdrawal?'". Everyone around me is like No Way! I guess I just want to hear from someone else that they are going thru something similar....or is this just the way it is now?

 

Kat

[[Wo...]]

Goldilox, there's no doubt it could still be withdrawal. Not getting enough sleep because you're anxious about sleep is a horrible cycle. I know the feeling. Your system will settle down and you'll get wonderful sleep again. It just happens on its own. Something that helped me though was countering my anxious thoughts with thoughts like "I'm not going to die if I don't sleep tonight." "It doesn't matter if I don't sleep tonight, my body won't let me stay awake forever." Basically just acknowledge that the process is out of your control and thats okay.

 

Another tip is don't try to force sleep. If you can't fall asleep at first, don't just lay there "trying" to sleep. Just get up and do something distracting. Whatever you enjoy doing, until you feel tired again. This one I learned the hard way because I'm stubborn as hell.

 

I know it sucks, but you'll be fine.

[[ci...]]

Wondernova, Ditto....ditto!

 

So true. I am 22 months CT and insomnia is brutal. i follow your advice. Just accepting that it is ok that I may not sleep lessens the anxiety.

 

I just have to give it more time, so many have said sleep is the last issue to resolve.

 

 

[[go...]]

Thanks for your words Wondernova. They are very comforting. I hate that others are suffering but glad I'm not alone. I have been very against getting up and just lay there miserable. I am going to have to bite the bullet and do it. I just started back to yoga and walking regular so hopefully that will help soon. Hope you have a wonderful Sunday 

[[Mi...]]

Hey All,

 

Just wanted to say thank you to each and everyone of you. From the bottom of my heart! Tomorrow I will be 2 years free of lorazepam. I honestly would not have made it this far without you guys. I truly believe I would be in a psychiatric unit of drugged out of my mind if it weren't for this site and the most amazing people I have met here! 

So thank you again. You all have literally saved my life. With every kind response. Every I have been there it's all going to be ok. Every hope you all share. Every embarrassing sx. Every story!  Thank you....

 

I am not 100% as you all know but I am going to get there! As we all are going to heal 100%

 

Today I am utterly amazed at the strength I have found with in myself to get this far and endure this journey.  And it really has been the hardest part of my life.  The doubt, fears, sxs!

No matter how you are feeling today please take a second to realize just how strong you all are!  This journey has affected everything! Physically, emotionally, mentally, and spiritually!  Yes my dearest friends we really have been going through hell. So please take a moment to remind yourself just how absolutely amazing your strength is! 

 

 

[[Mi...]]

I noticed a lot of talk about insomnia here recently. Just a FYI mine is COMPLETELY gone! Sleeping 7/9 hours nightly.

 

[[go...]]

That's great! When did it finally get better? I too suffer from Health Anxiety but I am so much better thanks to CBT with my psychologist. I highly recommend. I still have GI Issues. Have had all types of tests done and the verdict is food intolerance and caused by anxiety. I hope your other sxs clear soon 

 

Kat

[[dr...]]

Congrats on two years Jen!  What a huge accomplishment. This is our year of healing.

[[Mi...]]

Kat, my sleep has improved greatly since 12/18 months! It just kept getting better in that time frame. Honestly this month has been the exact opposite. I think I have slept enough to make up for all the hours missed! I am thinking its a very good sign and my body is finally relaxing enough for naps ect...

 

I have no Dr or DP haven't for months! Thank God. Allthough I drove down the freeway with my hubby this wknd and I wasn't ready for the lights and really just to drive that fast. Along with the merging ect. It was just to much I felt a tiny bit of DR and got off at the next exit! Oh well I get along in town driving just fine for now! I will try again in a few months. There is still a lot I don't do that I normally did but right now I am trying to only think about the things I can do now that I couldn't do at year 1! 

 

[[Mi...]]

Thanks Drew,  How have you been?

[[dr...]]

Meh....I've been wavy for three weeks.  I've been getting hit w bad headaches, boatiness, head scalp pain, the ccasional glutamate storms, and trouble handling stimulation again.  It sucks. The only positive is last time my brain literally hurt from the simulation now it is very uncomfortable.

I did just have my family staying with me and we had our US wedding party yesterday there was 100 people and a loud dj.  Sure that didn't help

All wedding stuff done.

 

I try to stay positive but it is just so hard to think this will ever stop.  I had to pass on going out after my party w my childhood friends who flew in to celebrate.  It's damn pathetic. At 21 months I'm depressed being like this.

[[Mi...]]

Oh Drew, I totally understand!  Congrats on the US wedding party! I know we are all so different but I also had a huge wave at 21/22 months and ever since all the DR DP sleep stuff,head aches and 24/7 stoned feeling has completely stayed gone. It was a pretty big wave. Actually it was huge I really was surprised it didn't swallow me whole?  I still get a little dazed here or there but nothing like being stoned.  Idk FORSURE but I am pretty sure all my remaining sx are directly linked to this anxiety crap.  The breathing crap, throat tightening, most of the remaining belly stuff.  I think everything but the reflux is all do to this anxiety I am still fighting with.   I should be celebrating the crap that's gone but not yet!  I gotta kick this anxiety crap.  I sure hope is calms down a bit more???

I know what you mean about being positive and thinking if this crap will ever go away!  I never had anything close to this severe anxiety so I am trying really hard right now to keep the faith! As it has calmed but not enough! 

Wishing you the best,

 

 

 

[[mr...]]

Meh....I've been wavy for three weeks.  I've been getting hit w bad headaches, boatiness, head scalp pain, the ccasional glutamate storms, and trouble handling stimulation again.  It sucks. The only positive is last time my brain literally hurt from the simulation now it is very uncomfortable.

I did just have my family staying with me and we had our US wedding party yesterday there was 100 people and a loud dj.  Sure that didn't help

All wedding stuff done.

 

I try to stay positive but it is just so hard to think this will ever stop.  I had to pass on going out after my party w my childhood friends who flew in to celebrate.  It's damn pathetic. At 21 months I'm depressed being like this.

 

U.S. based, huh? Didn't see my invitation in the mail...must've gotten lost... :2funny:

 

Mrs.

[[so...]]

Drew,

 

I think you did great, given how you feel inside.  You deserve a lot of credit.  Just think, some day this will all be a distant memory.

 

Love, Sofa

[[dr...]]

Meh....I've been wavy for three weeks.  I've been getting hit w bad headaches, boatiness, head scalp pain, the ccasional glutamate storms, and trouble handling stimulation again.  It sucks. The only positive is last time my brain literally hurt from the simulation now it is very uncomfortable.

I did just have my family staying with me and we had our US wedding party yesterday there was 100 people and a loud dj.  Sure that didn't help

All wedding stuff done.

 

I try to stay positive but it is just so hard to think this will ever stop.  I had to pass on going out after my party w my childhood friends who flew in to celebrate.  It's damn pathetic. At 21 months I'm depressed being like this.

 

U.S. based, huh? Didn't see my invitation in the mail...must've gotten lost... :2funny:

 

Mrs.

 

That's right...no way we could have two of us feeling like death

[[...]]

Good Morning,  I have stayed away from BB for months now.  I felt mostly healed at a year off (9/4/15) but once the holidays started the symptoms returned.  I feel so encouraged by reading this groups posts.  Drew's wedding party would be very stressful even though it was a wonderful happy event.  I loved the holidays, 1st time in a few years I really enjoyed them.  But wonderful or not they were stressful.  I think I have been expecting too much of myself.  I can never decide if my health is age related or withdrawal related.  Reading these posts lets me know healing keeps happening even after the 18 month average.  Hugs............

[[Wo...]]

kb, It's been my observation that the 2nd year setback is really common. I should say "readjustment", not setback. I think we try to do too much when we feel better at 12 months and it sets off our CNS. It's just our brain saying "Whoops! I need to make more GABA receptors." It's really quite amazing actually. I feel closer to normal every time I come out of a wave.

 

My personal observation is between 18-30 months is a more realistic average healing time. I was very depressed when I didn't heal after a year, but I've adjusted my expectations. There's bunch of folks ahead of us that are getting back to their lives and coming around here a lot less. Which is a great thing.

 

Good times are coming for all of us just around the corner. 

[[...]]

Wondernova,  Thank you.  I absolutely did too much once I was feeling better.  And I do need to adjust my expectations.  I think I have forgotten some of the horrible symptoms that I had and no longer have.  I too was feeling depressed but I can ride out 18 - 30 months.  BB helps me know I am not the only one going through this. 

[[Ba...]]

I'm happy to find this group as I enter my 18th month off benzos. 

[[ci...]]

I am at 22 months CT. I agree with the 18-30 months healing range. The more I read many of us heal after the 2 year mark. Wouldn't it be nice to know in advance what month you would heal?

[[...]]

 

Cindy, Bailey, Wondernova    LOL !  Yes, it would be wonderful to know in advance what month we will heal.

 

  So now we do the 18 to 30 month part of this journey !  So nice not to be doing this alone !