in despair after so called psych appointment

[[da...]]

I have just woken up and feel grotty;  headaches and aching all over.  Will speak to medics later to try and get some decent pain killers.

 

God bless everyone

 

Dan

[[da...]]

Had a chat with the doctors earlier and their opinion was the cause of headaches was the remeron.  Agreed to prescribe some codeine tablets.

 

Intend to do liver biopsy on Friday when I should be stable on diazepam because the procedure of course is invasive.

 

Take care

 

Dan

[[Sv...]]

Remeron at low doses can give you the feeling of a hangover, from my own personal experience!

[[Ho...]]

Remeron at low doses can give you the feeling of a hangover, from my own personal experience!

 

Usually most side effects of remeron will go away after 2 or 3 weeks of use.

[[da...]]

Svenhoak/hope

 

Thanks both. I have been on 15mg for 6 days. Yeah doctor said should settle down as body adjusts.

 

Cheers

 

Dan

[[da...]]

Original psych guy called to suggest group counselling following eventual discharge. I refused but agreed one to one counselling. He thought group would be better but I still resisted. Also going to make an appointment to meet addiction specialist get prescription for reasonable diazepam taper when discharged - was happy with that. Currently on 150mg daily I think. Liver biopsy on Friday signed consent form this afternoon.

 

Could be discharged end of next week all being well.

 

Take care

 

Dandyhighwayman

[[da...]]

Unable to sleep yet again.  Asked nurse for doctor to give me a zoplicone.

 

Dandyhighwayman

[[Is...]]

All good things, Dan. Don't worry about saying no to the group counseling. One on one works better for a lot of people. As long as you stay completely away from alcohol and stick to the diazepam taper, I think you're going to be just fine! I bet your liver biopsy ends up being ok and nothing that alcohol abstinence won't resolve. I hope you get some sleep soon.

 

Isee

[[da...]]

Thanks Isee

 

Yeah.  I attended a group counselling session about 10 years ago.  There were about 12 other people in attendance including several hard core junkies using H and other street drugs. It was chaos as they were completely incoherent and I nearly ended up punching one of the idiots.

 

God bless

 

Dandyhighwayman

[[Is...]]

Yes Dandy, I know exactly what you mean!! 

 

Isee

[[Sv...]]

One thing I found with the remeron Dandy was that 15 mg kept me awake, but 7.5 mg helps with sleep.

 

I hope your biopsy goes well!

[[da...]]

Thanks. Will ask doctor about that in morning because I just can't sleep although always been a bit of an insomniac except after numerous beers However,  doesn't really matter in this environment.

 

Cheers

 

Dandyhighwayman

[[da...]]

Sorry to bother you guys again. Just being attended by nurse after frightening panic attack. Had a couple of these in the past and it's horrible. They follow same theme in that I see my parents at bedside.

 

I pressed nurse panic button and she was great at calming me down. She reckons its residual alcohol but been dry for 3 weeks now.  That is the longest in about 30 years I'm ashamed to say. This entire episode is turning bad. Allmy vital signs are okay but feel terrible. Can't have more diazepam unti 08.00. I still have stash of clonazepam at home and was considering discharging myself after biopsy. But staff are so good i don't want to get into a fight.  Besides brother and sister would be livid.

 

Nurse spent time to calm me and got te and biscuits. I just thought I was over these  attacks. Just so frustrated they must think I am crazy. I t seems symptoms cannot be predicted. Perhaps it's because I was taking up to 20mg clonazepam recently. I don't know.

 

Dandyhighwayman

[[da...]]

Nurse now getting a doctor not arguing because she is so nice but don't really want all this drama.

 

Dandyhighwayman

[[Is...]]

Dan, don't leave the hospital. It's definitely possible that the panic attacks are caused by not drinking for 3 weeks. Whatever you do, please don't go back to drinking. When you are feeling stronger over the weekend after the biopsy is behind you, ask your brother or sister to get rid of the clonazepam in your house. If you stick with the diazepam taper upon discharge and don't drink, I promise things will get better. Don't sign yourself out of the hospital. Please wait until they discharge you. It's really, really important or the whole vicious cycle of alcohol/clonazepam will start all over again. Please believe me with this. I have been there too many times to count. Stay strong and don't leave.

 

Isee

[[Sv...]]

Yah, sit tight Dandy. Here are some relaxation audio tracks to help you. Practise these daily and it will help prevent panic attacks.

 

http://www.adam.mb.ca/audio-relaxation

 

Also there is a good online forum to teach you how to manage panic attacks. Check it out.

 

http://www.paniccenter.net

 

Remember that your fear of panic attacks is what makes them happen. Once you conquer the fear, they simply go away and never come back.....

[[In...]]

It's really, really important or the whole vicious cycle of alcohol/clonazepam will start all over again.

 

 

I agree with this, stay as far away from alcohol and clonazepam as possible. Stick with the valium taper and see where it leads. You will never know if you don't try. It's hard work getting off benzos, but everyone here is working along with you. Take care.

[[da...]]

But Isee I not sleeping at night and sleep during the day.  My sister had to wake me up the other day.  I don't want to start drinking again even if biopsy  is ok  but might not be. Although gut feeling says it will be fine I must believe this. Have hidden clonazepam at home well my brother will never find it unless I tell him exactly. Must make sure diazepam taper is in place before I leave otherwise will have to use clonazepam by cutting tablets in half which = 20 mg diazepam.  Suppose I could quarter them.

 

Just want to get better asap. But just imagine if this had happened at home. Doctor thinks it might have been a seizure but I am sure I was conscious throughout.  Csnt be certain though. He ended up giving me 2mg iv lorazepam just in case.  This is not good.

 

Thanks for concern.

 

Dandyhighwayman

[[da...]]

Thanks Svenhoakand innsfaze

 

Cant believe it"s 05.35 here.  I will do as you all suggest because you are far more objective than me at the moment or at anytime.

 

Thanks

 

Dandyhighwayman

[Guest [Po...]]

Hello Dandy,

 

I think you may have to accept that this is not going to be a fast healing - we all want to get better as soon as possible, but some of us have to wait for healing, and it cannot be rushed, it will take as long as it takes.

 

I have pm'd una's number to you and I hope you can talk to her asap. She always gives me hope and good support.  I know she can advise on a sensible taper too.

[[da...]]

Polenta

 

I am very grateful. I will call her tomorrow if I am calm. An old college friend is visiting this afternoon don't want to look a wreck.  I am full of self loathing at the moment.  God knows what would happen if I was home alone. They have now allocated a nurse in my room to talk to me but lorazepam I can feel already. This is turning into one big mess if I am not careful.

 

I know i must gain control again but it seems so hard.

[Guest [Po...]]

I don't think you can "gain control" Dandy, I am  afraid that acceptance of the horrible terrifying withdrawal symptoms is the only answer.  Then we have to find  a way of getting through them.

 

Please tell Una exactly how you are tapering because she can  tell you if it is being done too quickly and can possibly intervene.

 

 

If you can learn to get through it a minute at a time, that may help. 

 

But first you have to find a proper slow  comfortable  taper and stick to it.

[[da...]]

Problem ls and I am only guessing but for a few weeks I was taking ten x two mg tablets daily which equal  400 mg  diazepam daily washed down with 5/6 beers. Yes I am sure I didn't some crazy things such as bizarre karaoke 'performances' but no real harm I don't think.

 

However, average recent consumption has been 6 - 8 mg daily.

 

Not certain how much diazepam I am currently receiving.

 

Cheers

 

D

[[da...]]

Just a thought,  when I had my first seizure in 1989 I was detoxed within 9 days from alcohol using a drug called chlormethiazole.  It is not used in the UK much anymore but extensively used in Europe.

 

I will ask the doctors about this option this morning. I certainly can't accept 2 years of this.

 

I intend to explore every option but appreciate you guys have far more knowledge than me on benzo withdrawal. I guess I am just thinking outside the box.

 

Cheers

 

Dandyhighwayman

[Guest [Po...]]

If you could find out exactly what dosage of valium etc you are taking at the moment and tell Una today, that woud be very helpful for you.  It sounds as if you are tapering far too quickly at the moment.  Don't worry if you are not calm when you phone her, she is used to it.  If you phoned her now,  you could leave a message.  the sooner you leave her a message, the sooner she will get back to you.

she will not be there until 9am anyway, so if you phone now, you wont have to speak to anyone, just leave a message