Remeron (Mirtazapine) Withdrawal Support Group

[[Ja...]]

I would say she’s “presenting” well, but our marriage sucks. It seems she’s lost all emotions and feelings for me. I’ve read a lot about that happening from antidepressants.

 

In my experience when I was on 15 mg of Remeron I was almost emotionless. However, there is a period post benzo when many experience this as well. Anger seemed to be the only thing I could feel. I had to fake laughing for the sake of others. I don’t know whether it was benzo withdrawal or being put on the Remeron because they occurred simultaneously. I do know that my emotions started to come back as soon as I made the first cut on Remeron from 15 to 13.5 mg and have felt happier and more like myself the lower my dose gets with the exception of the last few weeks that I have been very sick possibly from the mirt taper but I can’t say for sure.

 

I am sorry about the toll this all takes on a marriage. My wife could probably relate to you. She told me yesterday that she wants a divorce. I am praying she doesn’t go through with it. I feel like I am running out of time. I need to get better so I can save my marriage but I have no control over it. The psychiatrists have stolen everything from me. It truly is hell on earth. Please try to be strong for her.

[[...]]

Thanks for the encouragement! You all seem to recognize the change the drugs have done to you which is good. Unfortunately for me my wife does not recognize what the drugs have done and thinks everything is fine. There is nothing I can say or do that can convince her that the drugs are effecting our marriage. At what point did you all start to realize the drugs were not helpful and wanting to get off of them?

[[Ja...]]

Thanks for the encouragement! You all seem to recognize the change the drugs have done to you which is good. Unfortunately for me my wife does not recognize what the drugs have done and thinks everything is fine. There is nothing I can say or do that can convince her that the drugs are effecting our marriage. At what point did you all start to realize the drugs were not helpful and wanting to get off of them?

 

Most of us started to get physically ill from benzos. It is a phenomenon called tolerance withdrawal where you go into physical withdrawal even while taking your normal doses. Then we got extremely sick and spent exorbitant amounts of time and money chasing a mystery disease that the doctor’s could not find. After being gaslit by ignorant doctors for seemingly forever that benzos can’t cause these symptoms despite asking multiple times we eventually were lucky enough to figure it out on our own. We then had to forge our own path to recovery by lying to and manipulating our doctors. That’s my story and when you start reading around the forum it is just about everyone’s story. It was the physical illness that drove me to figure it out. If it was just emotional then I don’t know that I would have noticed. However, there are many people here who only had emotional symptoms and still eventually went on to figure it out and heal.

 

For me, the doctors finally convinced me that I had gone spontaneously crazy so I checked myself into the psychiatric hospital. The doctors immediately cold turkeyed me off of Xanax. About 12 hours later I found out that it was the Xanax all along. All of my hellish symptoms multiplied by 100. There aren’t words to describe what I went through there. I will have PTSD for the rest of my life from what I was put though in that hospital. But when they took me off of the Xanax and I got 100 times sicker it was plain as day that it was the Xanax that did this to me. They refused to release me without a drug so I agreed to Remeron because I believed it to be relatively benign. I still believe it is in comparison to the other options.

 

Also, it’s important to note that as much as I hate it Remeron probably saved my life. I don’t know how many more days of no sleep or food I could have gone. So as bad as things are now keep in mind that the Remeron might actually be helping your wife. The anhedonia(lack of emotion) could be from benzo withdrawal and it might resolve on it’s own despite being on Remeron. There are many reports on here of people using Remeron to get though benzo withdrawal and then stopping cold turkey after they were healed and had no withdrawal whatsoever. This group here is only the people who can’t CT. It is worth noting that many can. Also, yes I have read people were able to get off of 45 mg successfully even after benzo withdrawal.

[[...]]

Jack, your post has given me so much hope. You have no idea how much I needed to read something encouraging. I actually started to cry. I'm not someone who cries often. I pray that your marriage works out. Throughout this journey I've noticed many times it seems that one spouse has it figured out while the other one doesn't seem to get it. There's tons of unmedicated spouses who "get it" while their SO doesn't and medicated spouses who figured out and their SO doesn't understand.

[[ju...]]

I dont know your name J. I announce it just as J now. We probably mostly arent kind of people who hadnt cried so much before these things, so it is so normal. I dont know your wife's condition, probably you, too. But it is remarkable that you had a conscious personality while coming here and looking for some answers to your questions. So, if you want to do sth about your wife - and i see you want - and couldnt convince her, you must first try to look for a benzo wise doctor around you if you can afford. I dont live in USA, but i read so many entry here, which state has which benzo wise doctors. Jack, Dave and others may help to find this information, too. This is so complicated, first you must convince her what she has. Ilness or wd? This is the keypoint.

 

Jack, i pray for you. I do know what you feel like. When my wife found my pocket as a full of drugs after hospital's full blown wd -you know for what- she despairly wanted to leave the house, but she didnt. Of course i wouldnt do that shit, but you know what i want to say. While coping this process, furthermore the unconscious behaviours of spouses may drive us crazy easily. I pray for you brother you feel some relief in short time... I am Muslim, probably you are Cristian, but it doesnt matter. Patience to you, your wife and all of us. God bless our families...

[[ju...]]

Hey friends. How are you doin?Jack, Jackie, Becky, Pokey and others?

[[Ja...]]

Hey friends. How are you doin?Jack, Jackie, Becky, Pokey and others?

 

I am recovering from whatever my issue was. Yesterday was the first day since 4/12 without a fever. I no longer wake up sick in the morning. My mother and father tested positive for covid antibodies. That is a huge relief, not having to worry about them now. I should be cleared to return to work as long as the fever stays gone for two more days. I am very much looking forward to that. I will hold for the rest of May. I plan to restart my taper on June 1st if my symptoms allow. Also, I seem to have finally gotten my blood pressure under control. I decreased my sodium intake and drastically increased my potassium intake my consuming potatoes and bananas. My blood pressure has been damn near perfect. Last week my blood pressure was 155/100, 130/100, 135/95 and now this week my readings have been 125/85, 121/77, 117/88. It’s an incredible improvement. I will still to this cleaner eating and continue to focus on my potassium levels.

 

June; I noticed you are making good progress lately in your taper. How are you feeling? Is that taper speed working for you?

[[ju...]]

You couldnt know how much i am pleased to hear you are doing well, man. I hope this would be last disturbance for you before you leave this. Fingers crossed.

 

I wish you more cautious and slower pace than you had done before. Normally, you may tolerate this pace but our brains and CNS are still in progress to due to past medication. One may even tolerate CT, but we are not the those ones. Listening to our bodies and making progress to be functional are the basics of this lesson.

 

Jack, i had a 7 days windows at the end of April, then 3 weeks brutal wave, then 3 days semi window, then rough patches again not as much powerful previous one. I know my brain is still making process during the waves, now it is the turn of panick attack sessions, Lol. To summon i havent get the stability, but i think it is about to come. Because windows have started, waves are trying their bests(sometimes like acute), but i am now as stubborn as a goat.

 

Looking at your question, i can clearly say that, it is so much tolerable at this pace. Sleep is generally good. No nausea or GI problems after months. The last nausea was 6 7 months ago. But then you may ask that what the hell anx. that you live. The answer is so simple, you know all the story about me:) I havent had too many sxs after quitting lovely cocktail, but the anx. which i have had for 10 straight months and then 2 months with some intervals is a kind of anx. most ex benzo survivors havent got. So, i cant answer your question by the way of anxiety. But one thing i know is i will be on the side of cut&hold method for the sake of being a w/ shape. Most people firmly believe w/ continues with this weekly shape. If you have followed SA forums, there is a Brassmonkey Slide method that member Brassmonkey invented. To that, you are doing 2,5 cuts for 4 weeks, then give an extra week to catch up changes. But as i said, first method is more conscious to me. Anyway, it is time for you to hold and you are already doing that. Take care. Be kind to yourself...

[[Be...]]

Good to hear you are better Jack. The holding will get you to a better stable place to restart your taper. It sounds like you might have had covid too. I am getting tested next week and really do think I'll test positive for antibodies.

 

I have begun my Mirt taper but so slowly. I got burned with my last two tapers and I can't just deal with a bad withdrawal now. I am down to 7.25 mg after a month. Becky.

[[ju...]]

Becky, i am also happy for you that you have started. I am curious why you waited until now to push it. Have you had a kind of disturbing factor that keeps you away pushing or have you wanted to have some joy before tapering? Thank you

[[Be...]]

Hi June. It took me a couple months to get used to the liquid Mirt. I do want to have the w/d not too intense, so I will go slow. I am sensitive and had bad experiences with trazodone and ambien tapering. Each month I will reevaluate my taper speed. I'm listening to my body. I hope you are doing better.

 

Becky

[[ju...]]

I am doing better but have some panic feelings, i hope and know this will dissolve in short time. I have tried some little cuts in recent, they havent disturbed me so much i think. But because of my ongoing wd, i am now holding a little. When the windows come with longer durations and my panicky feeling because of the tension in my throat and face dissolves, i will push it again. I hope i am so close to do that.

[[Be...]]

Yes June, do little cuts. They all add up and it's easier on the body.

 

Becky

[[Be...]]

Hi Mirt taperers. I'm feeling my cut and was wondering if any of  you have had muscle tightness/pain in their arm/had/shoulder area. I swear it feels like I injured my arm.

 

Thanks. Becky.

[[Ja...]]

Hi Mirt taperers. I'm feeling my cut and was wondering if any of  you have had muscle tightness/pain in their arm/had/shoulder area. I swear it feels like I injured my arm.

 

Thanks. Becky.

 

I do a lot of physical labor. I have to be careful because since this whole thing started I pull muscles easily. Some days are better than other. I am constantly having weird pain. They can be in my arms or legs or anywhere really. They will hurt just like an injury for days and then move to a new location. It comes and goes. It is not all the time.

[[Be...]]

Yes Jack it feels like my muscles and tendons are not as flexible as pre-Mirt. I must be a bit more careful. I actually think I hurt it reaching for water while I was sleeping, I overreached trying to find it in the dark. You know how it is with the dry mouth lol. Yea weird pains are a thing with this, I must remember that. I already had the pain in my left leg a couple weeks ago. I'm glad it comes and goes. I'm older but was in very good shape before I started these meds. I hope to get back to that some day. Take care, Becky.

[[ju...]]

Is there anybody who had panic attacks for a term when it is after ct/fast taper or while using it. I have had some improvements in recent times, my body is adopting, but in spite of these improvements i have been taking some panic attacks in some part of a day for 1 month. I have started to MBSR courses. What does it exacerbate and reduce effects of this panic attacks? I had had lump in throat for a term last year, but there was no panic attack. It is a big challange, too. Thanks...

[[Ja...]]

Is there anybody who had panic attacks for a term when it is after ct/fast taper or while using it. I have had some improvements in recent times, my body is adopting, but in spite of these improvements i have been taking some panic attacks in some part of a day for 1 month. I have started to MBSR courses. What does it exacerbate and reduce effects of this panic attacks? I had had lump in throat for a term last year, but there was no panic attack. It is a big challange, too. Thanks...

 

Yes, but I don’t know if they are related to the Xanax withdrawal. About 20 years ago I started getting frequent panic attacks. I was in a touring band and my diet consisted of chocolate, 3 packs of cigarettes a day and 5 or six cups of coffee. It got so bad I thought I was having a heart attack and went to the ER. They checked me out and I was fine. They questioned me about caffeine and nicotine and then the nurse politely told me to knock it off. Shockingly, the 21 year old me actually listened. I had not had a panic attack since until last year with the Xanax. With all of these symptoms I have been experiencing lately panic attacks are one of them. They come when all of the other symptoms are revved up as well. It’s never just panic attacks. There are always other symptoms at the time.

[[Di...]]

Hi Sharkie. Sorry it has been awhile since I was on last. Trying to keep busy so I’m not thinking so much about all the bad stuff. When I started my Remeron taper I was so scared because of what everyone else had been through. I too had C/T off a benzo, ( Lorazepam ) and wanted that far behind me. So I waited for I believe 2 1/2 - 3 years before I started my Remeron taper. I was on 3.75Mg. I spoke to many people on BenzoBuddies and Surviving Antidepressants as well as some Facebook groups. One of the things I was told was to make sure I was pretty well healed from my benzo. I was also told to not overthink it. That was the best advice for me.

 

When I first started I would cut my pill and weigh out my pieces but as I started getting lower I realized that I wasn’t getting all the medication in my piece so at that point I started crushing my 15Mg pill in a pill crusher and then using a mortar and pestle I was able to grind it further. Did I lose medication? Maybe a little but I decided not to worry about that. I know that some people crush several pill but I don’t. I bought a very tiny spoon or measuring type spoon from Amazon. I use that to sprinkle the powder in the bowl on my scale. Now that I’m lower it takes a bit for the scale to except the weight but it does. It takes patience. I then take the bowl of powder and put the powder in a pill case. If you want you could just weigh your dose everyday but I just want it done.

 

I think it’s important to not get to worked up about losing powder. Remeron has a longer half life and if you take your time you’ll be alright. I did similar when I tapered Valium. I’ll help you in any way I can. Just let me know. When you starting and at what Mg? Also 5, 10% a month is good, IMO.

 

Jackie 

 

Hello Jackie?

 

I was just reading about your mirtz taper by crushing the pill and weighing it?  How do you take the powder?  (In water or )

 

I'm asking because I'm down to 1.8 mgs and am struggling big time.  I have been dry cutting 7.5 pills, but my level of med is all over the place at this low dose and I know I'm not getting consistent levels.  I was dropping .1 mg every week for the longest time...then hit the wall with symptoms at 1.4. 

 

I did try to go to liquid compounded medicine...but it wasn't the right dose (not sure if it was too high or too low), so back to the cut pill I went.  It's been 2 months on the same dose, but it's never the same.  Each day is a whole new experience of "what dose of med did I get last night"?

 

Any suggestions??

 

 

[Guest [pe...]]

Hi everyone,

 

I have been tapering 2% every 10 days.  I am down to 13.8 from 15mg.  However, Remeron has completely destroyed my mind even more than what the benzos did to me (I am still in benzo recovery).  I believe I need to do a rapid taper (4-5) months because the remeron is giving me extreme OCD.  I was wondering if anyone else on her has done a faster taper.  I have been on remeron from around 8 months.

[[Ja...]]

So, I am very excited. I have been extremely sensitive to supplements since Xanax withdrawal. I am supposed to supplement magnesium because of the Nexium I take but have not been able to. I also end up deficient in vitamin d every winter because my IBS seems to screw up absorbing it from food. I tried to take my vitamin d supplement last year and it messed me up good. Well, today I took 10,000 ui of vitamin d which is a hefty dose and you will not believe what happened. ABSOLUTELY NOTHING! Lol. I can't believe it, not a twitch or stomach ache or panic attack, nothing happened at all. I am very excited to be able to take vitamin d again.

[[ju...]]

Hi everyone,

 

I have been tapering 2% every 10 days.  I am down to 13.8 from 15mg.  However, Remeron has completely destroyed my mind even more than what the benzos did to me (I am still in benzo recovery).  I believe I need to do a rapid taper (4-5) months because the remeron is giving me extreme OCD.  I was wondering if anyone else on her has done a faster taper.  I have been on remeron from around 8 months.

 

If you do that, you will possibly be catched up the changes. Yes, rem doesn't do favor us except from sleep and appetite but if you go fast, this may make the things harder.

[[ju...]]

I dont know what i should say. The words arent enough to describe my condition. My wife is pregnant to 3rd. Even, in this process! While living intense neuro emotions in these days, God is trying my patience, i think. According to my faith, we cant take his/her right to live. Moreover, we dont even know he/she ll be born healty or not due to my medication. I havent felt helpless in any part of my life. Even my father died, even i left the hospital with sxs. I dont know, really i dont know...

[[no...]]

I dont know what i should say. The words arent enough to describe my condition. My wife is pregnant to 3rd. Even, in this process! While living intense neuro emotions in these days, God is trying my patience, i think. According to my faith, we cant take his/her right to live. Moreover, we dont even know he/she ll be born healty or not due to my medication. I havent felt helpless in any part of my life. Even my father died, even i left the hospital with sxs. I dont know, really i dont know...

 

June, hey man. Did you just find that out? That your wife is pregnant? I'll tell you what. I went into acute Benzo withdrawal about 1 month after my wife and I found out we were expecting our 2nd child. Like had I known I'd be in Benzo withdrawal, we would not have been making babies, that is for sure. But one month after we found out that baby was coming, my life fell apart. I won't even go into how horrifying my withdrawal was because I've talked about that other places. But what I'll tell you is this - I was so scared about being able to handle fatherhood for another round being in the shape I was. But I had 8 months to heal some before that baby came. Even though I wasn't exactly where I wanted to be when the baby was born, I was better. As will you be. You have already had some solid windows, man. Some good signs of healing underneath you. If that baby is coming in 9 months, you are likely going to be in a much better place when it sees our world for the first time.

Hang in there, sir.

 

Dave

[[ju...]]

Thank you for your kind support Dave. I got you very much. I think i got shocked a little after this news. If this happened in a normal way or if i werent to get through a panicky term, i would handle easily this condition. I think i need holding for some time to accept this shock then get through this weird situation. I need homeostasis now as i have ever needed. Yes i had one window, then some semi window for 2&3 days. These all are good. I feel improvements, but the more i feel better moments, the more also i feel worse moments. I have read again your past posts and i saw that you experienced this kind of things at one year turn. Intense waves for short durations(one or two day in my condition) and longer good terms(2&3 semi good days). I now need to get through these very bad days and i hope and know i will get through. I think this is a message Godsend. Now i need more power than i had ever. I need all your prayers...