HELP PLEASE

[[Pi...]]

Can anyone reach out to me today. I am suffering too much and am overwhelmed and terrified. Thank you.

[[so...]]

What’s going on man ? You tapering ? What drug ? What’s your taper schedule ? Let me know what’s going on . Thanks 

[[Pi...]]

@[so...]I’m 16 months off after a very very rapid forced taper of Clonazepam and my sxs are so extreme it is impossible to believe I’m going to survive. Just had to take a course of antibiotics and have never ever felt so hopeless or afraid in my life. My head sxs are so extreme plus dozens of others that I can’t sleep for more than an hour. Don’t want to give up but feel I am very very close to doing so 

[[PE...]]

Hi. Sorry you having a tough time @[Pi...] 

isn't there anything you can do to relive some of that symptoms that seems to peak right now? Go out for a walk? Anything that distract..

 

 

[[PE...]]

Just hang in there. Minute by minute..

[[Pi...]]

@[PE...]Thank you for caring. I’m not able to walk due to weakness etc and so am couch bound. I live alone which makes it all so much harder as im so afraid my body won’t hold out, although I have read that WD can’t kill you. Seems hard to believe as I’m so so ill and sleep deprived 

[[...]]

I know how you feel. I'm 5 months off Klonopin and 13 most off Xanax after being prescribed them for 20 years originally for serotonin syndrome. This is the first time I've been able to type anything. I just want to tell you that YOU ARE NOT ALONE, and I am taking it one minute at a time with you. hang in there friend! keep reaching out if you can. 

 

[[Br...]]

Hello @[...] and welcome to BenzoBuddies.  We're glad you found us.

Please feel free to explore the site and reach out for support.  Let us know how we can help you.

Brighterday

[[Pi...]]

@[...]Thank you so much. Thinking of you too. It’s so scary isn’t it? 

[[...]]

thank you brighterday and pickle purr. ah man this is unreal. scary among so many other things. I had a traumatic brain injury even before this and it's like having 2 more brain injuries, but worse. one per Benzo. this is unbelievably unsafe to take people off this stuff. I just asked the doctor for help with pain and she scared me about benzos and the next thing I know im Incapacitated for year and a half. this is soooo scary, but I hope one day it will be worth it, if I make it. im sure you understand, some days you're not sure if you're going to make it. I still don't understand why my brain doesn't work, and the unbelievable weakness, crippling and at time suicidal depression. the only thing I do understand is the anxiety and insomnia.

[[ji...]]

im so sorry you are suffering badly right now.   if you can find something that makes you feel better, even if just something like petting a fur baby or making yourself some tea, i think it helps get the mind used to having moments of pleasure again and possibly build more moments like that.  i do know that when things are at there worst its very difficult to do the things that bring us simple pleasures.   i hope your symptoms ease up soon for you.    wishing you health & healing  ~~~jill

[[Pi...]]

I so understand @[...] Most days I don’t think I will make it and the grief is overwhelming. I want to survive for my beloved children and grandchildren but it feels impossible to imagine

[[re...]]

Here we go another poor soul messed up because of the dopey medical community. I have never seen anything quite like it. Bunch of foolish ego maniacs. This has to STOP. Crimes against humanity. 

Antibiotics are nothing innocent in all of this and probably caused your setbeck. So sorry you got hit with them. I did as well with dental work antibiotics/delta 9 combo that put me in the worst state I have ever been in when I was already in serious dysregulation from an ER/ICU disaster and it's what led me back here to BB cause i had to get on diazepam. It has been a journey let me tell you.  

Peppe is right you just GOTTA make yourself move. If you lie around and stay on the computer you wont get better. If you at least TRY to stretch a bit if you cannot walk. It will do wonders for your well being and some of what you are feeling will be alleviated. I felt the same way. Like this HOLE in my heart and soul and not sleeping and the constant ruminations. 

How are you eating? If you aren't sleeping you probably have a crappy appetite? If you don't then that is great and I think you should really check what you are eating. Go on a super food brain diet. I know this sounds all so prescriptive, but I see too many where you are at get better. Have you at least had MOMENTS of feeling ok? Like mini windows?

I hate to say this, but is there ANY possibility you could get a benzo wise doc then do a really long long taper? It may just completely work for you. 

Of course this can be real iffy and it also may not work. But I remember this dude on Dr josef's channel that was such a mess after they ripped him off a long xanax dependance and reinstating worked for him after a long absence of the drug. 

[[re...]]

I know you are weak. But it is why you have to try and move. The weakness that you feel will be abated for even the time you are moving. 

And if you DO decide to sit around on the computer. Try and look up things unrelated to benzos. Don't allow medicine damage be your identity. What I have been doing is looking up reddit cycling forums with 'normal' people. It has been helping me. 

Look up studies on exercise and brain health. Yoga on the brain and gaba etc. Any of these things only can work LONG term. They won't fix you TODAY, but I guarantee if you can at least do some small moving around then you will start to feel the benefits in time. 

Also look up people with terminal diseases that did amazing feats like climb Mt Everest. I am not saying you will be able to do these things, but it may give you an uplift in your spirit. Your in a negative feedback loop. I so understand. 

Edited May 6 by [re...]

[[re...]]

Try and look at it this way. You have come this far (16 months) what is another 4 month trial of stretching/light exercise/strict diet to just SEE if you have any improvements. Put what little energy you have left into good things and not benzo thoughts. I understand how hard this is believe me. 

[[La...]]

7 hours ago, [[P...] said:

Can anyone reach out to me today. I am suffering too much and am overwhelmed and terrified. Thank you.

Pickle I just wanted to give you a virtual hug. I’m sorry things are rough right now. When I’m having a rough patch, I remind myself that it’s temporary. I then go to my coping basket…weighted blanket, meditation, soothing bath, or whatever you can to distract yourself. Our job in this hell is to make it through each day one hour at a time. Calming breathing is also a good tool. I pray that you have someone with you for support. 
There’s a YouTube video that helps me…

David Powers- Benzo recovery sleep affirmations.  One of the buddies sent it to me. I hope it helps you! Pair it with a weighted blanket. If you don’t have one then use 2 blankets. 

Edited May 6 by [La...]

[[Pi...]]

@[re...]I appreciate all your suggestions and I promise you I do try but when this ill all I can do is go second to second. I am literally hanging on to life by my fingertips. I think the antibiotic has caused a huge problem and so I just hope that won’t last too long. It’s very hard not to be stuck in a negative feedback loop after 16 months of zero sleep and extreme sxs. 2021 I was the happiest, fittest and most positive person you could have met but an adverse reaction to the Covid jab saw me put on a benzo which has destroyed me.

[[Pi...]]

Thank you @[La...] for your gentleness and understanding - I listen to David Powers sleep affirmations all night long! I so want to believe it’s temporary but I’ve yet to have a glimpse of healing which makes it so hard and sadly I am on my own. Take care of yourself please

Edited May 6 by [Pi...]
Typo

[[re...]]

Covid shots are nothing to discount in all of this. As well as getting covid itself. Lots of nervous system changes happen with these things. I totally believe you.

This is gonna sound awful but try and not think of your past life. We all do that. I did it too. And I feel it can drive us to the brink if we are not careful.  I have lost so much in all of this. A business, my nervous system, many opportunities,  etc. All because of an ER mistake. But we are still here for NOW so we might as well do all we can to help each other and help ourselves. And give us the best shot at an ok life. Maybe not the one we used to have. I think about getting my old life back many times ESPECIALLY in windows, but I have to get away from those thoughts if I think too much about it. 

 This new me is all I can do right now and I have to accept it. That person that you used to know that was happy, fit, and positive is in a long term hibernation that may or may not wake up. It is ok the new you even if it doesn't feel it right NOW will surprise you in what is important and what is not. 

[[Le...]]

6 hours ago, [[P...] said:

@[so...]I’m 16 months off after a very very rapid forced taper of Clonazepam and my sxs are so extreme it is impossible to believe I’m going to survive. Just had to take a course of antibiotics and have never ever felt so hopeless or afraid in my life. My head sxs are so extreme plus dozens of others that I can’t sleep for more than an hour. Don’t want to give up but feel I am very very close to doing so 

get some probiotics. your stomach can easily have problems right now especially after antibiotics. dont want yeast overgrowth. move in a controlled manner. dont let the anxiety drive it   steps while counting from 10 down to 0. pause on 0 then start again. every step perfect and deliberate.   helped me some. 

[[Le...]]

20 minutes ago, [[P...] said:

@[re...]I appreciate all your suggestions and I promise you I do try but when this ill all I can do is go second to second. I am literally hanging on to life by my fingertips. I think the antibiotic has caused a huge problem and so I just hope that won’t last too long. It’s very hard not to be stuck in a negative feedback loop after 16 months of zero sleep and extreme sxs. 2021 I was the happiest, fittest and most positive person you could have met but an adverse reaction to the Covid jab saw me put on a benzo which has destroyed me.

very familiar story. covid times were hard. 

[[Bu...]]

@[Pi...] I too experienced a horrific reaction after the Covid vaccine. I was about to jump and had to go wayyyy back up to 15mg. Here if you ever need to chat as I know what that vaccine injury is like 🩷

[[re...]]

It is most likely a setback from the antibiotic. I would take Lee1978's suggestion on the probiotics for sure. 

[[re...]]

It is hard cause I understand all you wanna do is vent and everyone is giving you all this advice. It is so hard to take all this in. So difficult all of this for so many. It is so awful.  

[[re...]]

I want you to check this vid out. This is Stevie after her Klonopin detox where she almost died and her hair turned white over night. This is her 4 years after her horrific C/T  and just LOOK at her. She is probably more on here than she ever was in her early days. She has SUCH power and control of her voice and you can tell she got her soul back. AND YOU WILL TOO!!!!!!!!!!!!