The Voice of Withdrawal; silenced.

[[Ho...]]

hi Pacific,

 

That's so sweet of you. I'm here every day. I can't imagine walking away from BB completely. However, I am getting on with things, which is my hope for all our members.

 

Thanks for checking in. 

 

so good to hear from you. too many symptoms, and just do not know when they will disappear. a lot of them are about year old.

 

 

I'm sorry you're having such a hard time Pacific.   I understand how draining this must be for you. It's so hard to say when they will disappear but I can tell you that they will. I know this is little comfort when you're feeling defeated. Feeling that way is natural. You've been fighting so long and so hard. You're an inspiration to so many. You have so much more strength than you know. I know you'll get through this.

 

I wish I had some magic words to make this all go away.

 

Hang in Pacific. Keep writing and keep the faith in yourself.

[Guest [Gl...]]

Hope, this is a wonderful recovery story.    I'm so glad you are 'free' and much better and your story does what your name tag says - gives HOPE to others.

 

My biggest fear is because I suffer from sometimes severe HA (health anxiety) that when I do experience symptoms of withdrawal I will be sent into a spiral of fear that I am brain damaged or going to have permanent neurological issues.  I will try to read as much as I can on this forum to assuage those fears. 

[[Ho...]]

Hope, this is a wonderful recovery story.    I'm so glad you are 'free' and much better and your story does what your name tag says - gives HOPE to others.

 

My biggest fear is because I suffer from sometimes severe HA (health anxiety) that when I do experience symptoms of withdrawal I will be sent into a spiral of fear that I am brain damaged or going to have permanent neurological issues.  I will try to read as much as I can on this forum to assuage those fears. 

 

This kind of fear you describe is very common during withdrawal. You'll read posts from members who are concerned about "brain damage"...etc.

 

What I can tell you is you are not brain damaged nor will you be when you start to taper. There were days I had dizzy spells and was convinced I'd have to live with them for the rest of my life. I was convinced that this was some sort of damage caused by either my taking clonazepam or tapering from it. I had tremors, and terrible insomnia. Again, I was convinced I was going to have to live like that.

 

All of those symptoms are gone. My brain isn't damaged. I was so wrong and I'm so glad I was.

 

You will have to keep talking to yourself, Glammin350, if you have symptoms and tell yourself that this is temporary.

[[he...]]

So glad to hear you are free!!

 

hb

[[Ho...]]

Thanks hb. Good to hear from you. How are you?

[[he...]]

I just jumped 4 days ago.

and 25% down on the celexa, starting 5 months ago.

Feel fine, except feels like a cold coming on.

 

I was so happy to read that you made it

(Not that I doubted you would)

 

 

[[Ho...]]

I just jumped 4 days ago.

and 25% down on the celexa, starting 5 months ago.

Feel fine, except feels like a cold coming on.

 

I was so happy to read that you made it

(Not that I doubted you would)

 

 

 

Congratulations on the jump. That's very good news although I'm sorry you're getting a cold. Colds are so miserable. Blah! I hope you're feeling better soon.

 

I hope to read your Success Story in the coming months. We sure miss you on the team.

[[pa...]]

hi hope,

 

it seems to be getting harder and harder everyday.

[[Ho...]]

Hi pacific,

 

I know this is so draining for you, Pacific but you've come this far and I know you can keep going until you are healed one day. There will be one day when you will feel so light and clear. Look for this. Pay attention when this happens. That will be the beginning of the end of this for you. I wish I could tell you when that will happen. Perhaps you've noticed some clarity...even if it's just been for a moment?

 

I've known members who were suffering for a very long time. They never thought they'd be well. There were times they almost had me convinced as well, several of those members are no healed. They are thinking clearly again. They have hope and feel joy again. You will be one of those members. I know it's hard to see right now so you'll have to trust me on this....and most importantly trust yourself. Trust that you can conquer this. Trust that you person you used to be is still there fighting to get out. It will all happen for you pacific. Please trust in that.

[[pa...]]

Hi pacific,

 

I know this is so draining for you, Pacific but you've come this far and I know you can keep going until you are healed one day. There will be one day when you will feel so light and clear. Look for this. Pay attention when this happens. That will be the beginning of the end of this for you. I wish I could tell you when that will happen. Perhaps you've noticed some clarity...even if it's just been for a moment?

 

I've known members who were suffering for a very long time. They never thought they'd be well. There were times they almost had me convinced as well, several of those members are no healed. They are thinking clearly again. They have hope and feel joy again. You will be one of those members. I know it's hard to see right now so you'll have to trust me on this....and most importantly trust yourself. Trust that you can conquer this. Trust that you person you used to be is still there fighting to get out. It will all happen for you pacific. Please trust in that.

 

hi hope,

it's not just my brain. it's all those mental/physical symptoms that i have. about 40~50?

asking for three now.

1. balance of my brain chemical.

2. healing of central nervous system.

3. healing of autonomous nervous system.

[[Ho...]]

Hi pacific,

 

I know this is so draining for you, Pacific but you've come this far and I know you can keep going until you are healed one day. There will be one day when you will feel so light and clear. Look for this. Pay attention when this happens. That will be the beginning of the end of this for you. I wish I could tell you when that will happen. Perhaps you've noticed some clarity...even if it's just been for a moment?

 

I've known members who were suffering for a very long time. They never thought they'd be well. There were times they almost had me convinced as well, several of those members are no healed. They are thinking clearly again. They have hope and feel joy again. You will be one of those members. I know it's hard to see right now so you'll have to trust me on this....and most importantly trust yourself. Trust that you can conquer this. Trust that you person you used to be is still there fighting to get out. It will all happen for you pacific. Please trust in that.

 

hi hope,

it's not just my brain. it's all those mental/physical symptoms that i have. about 40~50?

asking for three now.

1. balance of my brain chemical.

2. healing of central nervous system.

3. healing of autonomous nervous system.

 

Pacific,

 

If you're asking me if those 3 elements of your withdrawal will eventually heal, I reply with a resounding YES. I have doubt you will heal, be it physical or mental symptoms. As I said earlier, I've know many members over the years who had felt as ill as you do and much to their surprise they are now healed and no longer members. Some people heal by waking up one morning and feeling 30% better, then the next day and the next. For others it's slower. They may have a small window one day. It may only be for 15 minutes before it slams shut but days later they get another...and another.

 

This is temporary. I know that's hard to understand when you're in the thick of it, but it is. You will be well. You're doing a wonderful job, Pacific of hanging in there and dealing with everything your mind and body are throwing at you. You're an inspiration.

[[pa...]]

Hi pacific,

 

I know this is so draining for you, Pacific but you've come this far and I know you can keep going until you are healed one day. There will be one day when you will feel so light and clear. Look for this. Pay attention when this happens. That will be the beginning of the end of this for you. I wish I could tell you when that will happen. Perhaps you've noticed some clarity...even if it's just been for a moment?

 

I've known members who were suffering for a very long time. They never thought they'd be well. There were times they almost had me convinced as well, several of those members are no healed. They are thinking clearly again. They have hope and feel joy again. You will be one of those members. I know it's hard to see right now so you'll have to trust me on this....and most importantly trust yourself. Trust that you can conquer this. Trust that you person you used to be is still there fighting to get out. It will all happen for you pacific. Please trust in that.

 

hi hope,

it's not just my brain. it's all those mental/physical symptoms that i have. about 40~50?

asking for three now.

1. balance of my brain chemical.

2. healing of central nervous system.

3. healing of autonomous nervous system.

 

Pacific,

 

If you're asking me if those 3 elements of your withdrawal will eventually heal, I reply with a resounding YES. I have doubt you will heal, be it physical or mental symptoms. As I said earlier, I've know many members over the years who had felt as ill as you do and much to their surprise they are now healed and no longer members. Some people heal by waking up one morning and feeling 30% better, then the next day and the next. For others it's slower. They may have a small window one day. It may only be for 15 minutes before it slams shut but days later they get another...and another.

 

This is temporary. I know that's hard to understand when you're in the thick of it, but it is. You will be well. You're doing a wonderful job, Pacific of hanging in there and dealing with everything your mind and body are throwing at you. You're an inspiration.

thank you so much hope.

bless you.

[[Sv...]]

I feel your pain pacific. It's 14 weeks today for me and its still rough. Every medical professional I've spoken to thus far has told me I'm experiencing lingering depression, whether its from the BDZ withdrawal, or the other BS in my life that has led to present circumstances. Just need to beat the depression now. One day at a time!

[Guest [Da...]]

Hi Hope:

 

Congratulations on being benzo free Hope. I wish you all the best in your healing.

 

 

Danni

[[...]]

Hi Hope1962

 

AS usual...right on the money!!!

 

I love it, fantastic post!!!!

 

Cheers,

Adie

[[Ho...]]

Hi Hope1962

 

AS usual...right on the money!!!

 

I love it, fantastic post!!!!

 

Cheers,

Adie

Hi Hope:

 

Congratulations on being benzo free Hope. I wish you all the best in your healing.

 

 

Danni

 

Thank you so much Danni. You know I always wish you the best as well. 

[[Ho...]]

Hi Hope1962

 

AS usual...right on the money!!!

 

I love it, fantastic post!!!!

 

Cheers,

Adie

 

Thank you Adie. I'm on my way to your Success Story to say hello. 

[[ti...]]

Thank you for sharing your clonazepam withdrawal experience success "Hope1962". Your story is very inspiring and gives me hope as I still am experiencing pretty intense withdrawal affects each time I drop my dosage. After 283 days I'm 75% of the way there now.

God bless you !!!   

[[Ho...]]

Thank you for sharing your clonazepam withdrawal experience success "Hope1962". Your story is very inspiring and gives me hope as I still am experiencing pretty intense withdrawal affects each time I drop my dosage. After 283 days I'm 75% of the way there now.

God bless you !!!   

 

I remember those days well. It all seems like such a long time ago, and soon that will be the case for you too. I thought it would never end and now I hardly remember my taper and the problems is caused me.

 

I'm glad my story has helped you, timetobefree. 

[[Ho...]]

I've had a bit of a turn of events. The last few days I've been hit by a wave...7 months out! Wow..I wasn't expecting this. I'm not sure how serious it is or will be. It's only been a few days of tremors, tingling and insomnia. I'll have to wait and see how it decides to go. However, I still consider myself a success story. I got off the benzo bastard (that's what I'm calling it from now on ) and and am feeling very positive about the future...no matter what happens. I know it will pass and I'll be right back where I want to be. Then there maybe another...and I'll ride that one out too. Clearly the benzo bastard doesn't know who he's dealing with.

 

I am absolutely positive all of this will rectify itself for me...as well as for you. It's all part of the journey. Yeah...it's a crappy part of the journey but no one said benzo withdrawal was fair. 

 

This goes to show that you never know what's coming around the corner. 

 

 

[[pi...]]

Well ya know, s**t happens.... I love your attitude and the name you have for that twerpy withdrawal.

 

I know you will get through this with the grace and the mindset you had throughout your taper.  Banish the bastard. 

 

PG 

[[Ho...]]

Thank you, pg for your continued support and friendship. I honestly don't know where I'd be without you. 

 

Well, it's obvious I'm in a wave due to all the typos in my above post. Yes, it's the wave. That's my story and I'm sticking to it.  How many times does one need to use the word "and" in a sentence? 

[[ti...]]

I'm very sorry to hear about your unexpected setback "Hope1962". Your attitude still sounds very positive and I'm sure this wave will pass for you soon. I do pray for that to be the case. 

 

Were you experiencing any increase in your stress levels that may have triggered too much adrenaline in your system? This is something I've had lots of trouble with over the years which can closely emulate many benzo withdrawal symptoms? Early in my 20's the endocrinologists thought that I may have had an adrenal tumor (pheochromocytoma), but the tests were inconclusive back then.

 

I've been having a really difficult time currently since my last dosage drop to .75mg per day on August 17th. Mainly with a big spike in my blood pressure, insomnia, head pressure and numbness, etc. I'm hoping to stabilize soon so I can have a little reprieve before my next drop in a couple weeks. 

Take care & God bless you !

 

[[ma...]]

Sorry to read that your in a wave Hope It was up and down (mostly down) for me the first year. Then it was mostly up after that, It will ease off and come good again http://i1193.photobucket.com/albums/aa351/margarita1959/swear2_zps52a5cc1a.gif Benzos

 

Mags

[[Ho...]]

I'm very sorry to hear about your unexpected setback "Hope1962". Your attitude still sounds very positive and I'm sure this wave will pass for you soon. I do pray for that to be the case. 

 

Were you experiencing any increase in your stress levels that may have triggered too much adrenaline in your system? This is something I've had lots of trouble with over the years which can closely emulate many benzo withdrawal symptoms? Early in my 20's the endocrinologists thought that I may have had an adrenal tumor (pheochromocytoma), but the tests were inconclusive back then.

 

I've been having a really difficult time currently since my last dosage drop to .75mg per day on August 17th. Mainly with a big spike in my blood pressure, insomnia, head pressure and numbness, etc. I'm hoping to stabilize soon so I can have a little reprieve before my next drop in a couple weeks. 

Take care & God bless you !

 

 

Hi timetobefree,

 

It's been over 7 months since I jumped and I've had plenty of stress during that time. The kind of stress that should have thrown me into a wave but I was always fine. No waves at all. Not even a little one.

 

I can't attribute this to anything. I know this happens a lot to members. They take their last dose then for no reason months later they are feeling like they are tapering again. Dr. Ashton isn't sure why this happens but acknowledges that it does. Her theory is much like yours of it being a result of stress. It's just not the case with me.

 

However, I'm hoping for the best. This isn't my first rodeo. I'm very good at not emotionalizing symptoms. I was able to do that pretty well during my taper. This will just be a bit of a refresher course. 

 

Thank you for stopping by and for your well wishes.