The Voice of Withdrawal; silenced.

[[Ho...]]

Sorry to read that your in a wave Hope It was up and down (mostly down) for me the first year. Then it was mostly up after that, It will ease off and come good again http://i1193.photobucket.com/albums/aa351/margarita1959/swear2_zps52a5cc1a.gif Benzos

 

Mags

 

Thank you sweet Mags. You've done so well. You're a great example and inspiration for me. I'm certain this will right itself in time...just as it did for you. I have no worries about that.

 

Thanks for the encouragement and support. 

 

On another note....man it's hot here today!!!

[[op...]]

Congratulations!  What a great story of healing and hope  Well done

 

Optimist

[[Ho...]]

Thank you Optomist. 

 

Although I have recently hit a wave, this is not unusual among many of us at BB. I posted about it here yesterday.

 

I've had a bit of a turn of events. The last few days I've been hit by a wave...7 months out! Wow..I wasn't expecting this. I'm not sure how serious it is or will be. It's only been a few days of tremors, tingling and insomnia. I'll have to wait and see how it decides to go. However, I still consider myself a success story. I got off the benzo bastard (that's what I'm calling it from now on ) and and am feeling very positive about the future...no matter what happens. I know it will pass and I'll be right back where I want to be. Then there maybe another...and I'll ride that one out too. Clearly the benzo bastard doesn't know who he's dealing with.

 

I am absolutely positive all of this will rectify itself for me...as well as for you. It's all part of the journey. Yeah...it's a crappy part of the journey but no one said benzo withdrawal was fair. 

 

This goes to show that you never know what's coming around the corner. 

 

But I'm still very optimistic.

[[Ca...]]

Dear Hope,

  Thank you for the strong message of hope and acceptance. You have faced your experience with grace and positivity....I admire that. This journey has been one of surrender, belief and trust. I just wish is was not such a long road! Wishing you well.

With appreciation,

Carita

[[Ho...]]

Thank you so much Carita. What a lovely post.

 

How are you doing? In your sig you say your symptoms are "strong but manageable". Is that still the case?

 

Being able to manage is huge and can make such a difference.

[[Ca...]]

Hi Hope,

  Thank you for the response. Yes, symptoms still strong and I am coping. I have rare glimpses of wellness which give me the strength to move forward. Fortunately I am able to manage with self care and simple activities. Knowing the d/p, depression, pain and anxiety are symptoms of withdrawal and not some underlaying disease is the key for me. I just read the list of symptoms in the Accidental Addict and it reaffirmed some of the crazy stuff I experience is genuine withdrawal. I have such respect for a healthy nervous system after this journey. Every cell in my body has been affected...what an odd cocktail of symptoms arise. Knowing others are in this with me and many have healed inspires the belief  I will finish this second taper and move beyond this challenge. I, like you am beating the benzo bastard!

  With gratitude for your support and presence here,

Carita

[[Ho...]]

Hi Hope,

  Thank you for the response. Yes, symptoms still strong and I am coping. I have rare glimpses of wellness which give me the strength to move forward. Fortunately I am able to manage with self care and simple activities. Knowing the d/p, depression, pain and anxiety are symptoms of withdrawal and not some underlaying disease is the key for me. I just read the list of symptoms in the Accidental Addict and it reaffirmed some of the crazy stuff I experience is genuine withdrawal. I have such respect for a healthy nervous system after this journey. Every cell in my body has been affected...what an odd cocktail of symptoms arise. Knowing others are in this with me and many have healed inspires the belief  I will finish this second taper and move beyond this challenge. I, like you am beating the benzo bastard!

  With gratitude for your support and presence here,

Carita

 

That's a wonderful post and attitude. Thank you. 

[[pa...]]

Hi dearest Hope,

 

I'm sorry to read that you are in a wave!  The nature of this nasty bast***d!  Know you are in my thoughts and prayers, that this will be a short lived wave, with a huge window opened!

 

Love you,  Patty

[[Ho...]]

Hi dearest Hope,

 

I'm sorry to read that you are in a wave!  The nature of this nasty bast***d!  Know you are in my thoughts and prayers, that this will be a short lived wave, with a huge window opened!

 

Love you,  Patty

 

Hi Patty. I love hearing from you. You know you always make me smile and you don't have to do much. So thank you for your post.

 

Love you too. 

[[tr...]]

Love your post!

Thank you for encouraging us all!

 

You are a Godsend and so is your experience!

[[Ho...]]

Thank you traycee. 

 

I'm so gratified to know that I've helped in any small way.

 

Thank you for taking the time to leave me such a nice note. 

[[Po...]]

Hope,

 

Sorry to hear you have been hit with a wave.  Hope it passes for you quickly.

 

I am still battling the wet macular deg in my eye.  Having shots in the eye every four weeks isn't my idea of heaven - but we do what we need to do on any of our journeys.  I just dread the taper after this.

 

Take care,

Plady     

[[Ho...]]

Hope,

 

Sorry to hear you have been hit with a wave.  Hope it passes for you quickly.

 

I am still battling the wet macular deg in my eye.  Having shots in the eye every four weeks isn't my idea of heaven - but we do what we need to do on any of our journeys.  I just dread the taper after this.

 

Take care,

Plady     

 

Hi PLady,

 

My uncle was just diagnosed with macular deg. He was telling me about the shots in his eyes. ~shudder~

 

Thanks for your good wishes. I know the prospect of tapering is a daunting one but you've been through so much. I know you'll be just fine when you taper. You're a very strong person. 

 

Thanks again for stopping by. 

[[st...]]

Hope, Thankyou so much for your post.

 

I'm 5 weeks off and FREE of Klon. will never take it again and for sure that it FREEDOM!

 

I wasn't on it nearly as long as you and knowing that you are well it so great for me to see.

 

I feel better overall and function better but still have some strange waves that do seem to want to make me think "I'll never be better" but your words gave me comfort today to read and see that yes, one day I WILL be all 100% better.

 

Thank you

 

Not Stillstuck anymore

[[Ho...]]

hi StillStuck,

 

I'm glad you're not letting the voice of withdrawal convince you of things that aren't true. Congratulations to you. Perhaps in 2 months I'll be reading your success story.

 

Thanks for your kind words.

[[Wi...]]

Hey Hope,

 

I was off being a bit self involved and missed that you are waving.  I'm really sorry to see that and hope for you it's a simple blip that passes quickly.  And even when you are in a wave you are so supportive to so many, including me.  You are made of really good stuff!

 

Thinking of you 

 

WWWI

[[Bi...]]

Hello Hope,

 

I hope you start feeling better soon.

 

All of my mental stuff has went away. Only stomach problems come and go. They can get rough. My washing machine moments cleared away for good, and haven't had any for a very long time.

 

I will be 20 months off this month.

 

Hope you get better soon.

[[Ho...]]

Hey Hope,

 

I was off being a bit self involved and missed that you are waving.  I'm really sorry to see that and hope for you it's a simple blip that passes quickly.  And even when you are in a wave you are so supportive to so many, including me.  You are made of really good stuff!

 

Thinking of you 

 

WWWI

 

You're allowed to be self involved, WWWI. You've been through so much. Thank you for saying such sweet things. 

[[Ho...]]

Hello Hope,

 

I hope you start feeling better soon.

 

All of my mental stuff has went away. Only stomach problems come and go. They can get rough. My washing machine moments cleared away for good, and haven't had any for a very long time.

 

I will be 20 months off this month.

 

Hope you get better soon.

 

Aw yes Billy. You and I and our washing maching moments!   That's what's come back for me....after 7 months off. Do you believe it? I'm getting a lot of windows during the day so it could be worse but the wave continues. I'm not going to complain. I've had a very smooth ride up until now.

 

I'm glad you're doing better, and that your GI problems are lessening somewhat.    You were the first to greet me when I arrived here at BB. I think that was about 5000 years ago. I often think of you and wonder how you're doing. I'm so glad you could pop by with good news. 

[[os...]]

 

 

Feel better soon Hope... Damn these drugs. 

 

 

[[Ho...]]

Thanks Oscar. I'm having a window this morning and it feels lovely. 

[[An...]]

Dear Hope,

I have read your remarkable success story, with great interest ..

Congratulations, on getting done with your taper ..

But I am saddened that you were hit with a wave ..I wish and hope, that it will resolve soon ..

 

Hope, I was hoping to find a detailed method of your taper ..But I was not able to ..

Is it somewhere, that I can look?

I made my first cut off Ativan, 3 weeks ago, and have issues not stabilizing ..The method is "cut and hold " ..I think that maybe the (  .125 mgs.)  cut was too big for me .. I wonder if I need a micro taper ..

So please direct me to your method ..I will appreciate it ..

 

Wishing you wellness, and healing ..

Love, Anu

[[Ho...]]

Hi Anoushka,

 

Thank you for your good wishes. Don't worry about my wave. I'm not. 

 

I'm not sure if my method would work for you. I was tapering clonazepam which has a longer half life than ativan. You might want to consider crossing over to valium. It has a longer half life. You would then drop 1 mg of valium every two weeks or so.

 

I used a jeweler's scale to cut my pills. I cut about 6% every two weeks.

 

Here is a thread on the General Taper Information board that might be of use to you. The people who post to this thread may be better able to advise you. http://www.benzobuddies.org/forum/index.php?topic=44903.0

 

I hope that helps.

 

Thanks again for you note of support. 

[[st...]]

Hi Hope,

How are you today? I saw that you had a Window yesterday...did it stay. How do you think we know when they will last forever?

 

I had a great window yesterday that was from morning till bed. SO nice, this morning is just a little jittery for me but not bad and much better then 4 weeks ago for certain.

 

Still I'd rather just not have any return of symptoms, like who wouldn't

 

They say on Ashtons method and other things I've read that everyone heals in time so just need to wait it out

 

I hope you back on track Hope

[[Ho...]]

Hi Stillstuck,

 

I think we will know they will last forever when they last for ever.    I know. That answer's not much help. I thought I was done with all this and now I see my CNS had other plans. I'm not letting it bother me. I'm continuing on doing what I can do and not thinking about it.

 

One day your symptoms will vanish. I've seen it happen over and over again on this forum.  I know it's hard to wait it out sometimes.