The Voice of Withdrawal; silenced.

[[Ho...]]

hi hope,

 

thank you so much for your posting. i have been reading it almost everyday.

going through so many symptoms, it's very hard to look on the positive side. (i already was too symptomatic since taking the poisons.)

trying not to get discouraged best as i could, and reading your post helps a lot.

can't wait to get out of this "benzo hell" soon.

 

I'm glad if my post has helped pacific ocean. Hang in there. This does get better. I know how discouraging it can be but I also know this is temporary and you'll soon be yourself again.

 

Keep me updated and thank you so much for your comment. 

[[Ho...]]

Hope,

 

I am so mad I didn't see this earlier. I am so happy for you and elated. You have been there for everyone and I am beyond happy for you. For me

it was always so nice to reach you at any hour of the day. I know we are on different time zones. I do know that that meant you usually weren't sleeping

well. You have gone thru this taper with so much grace and dignity. I am just so glad that we tapered at the same time and could go thru this

together. I wish I could buy you a big snow globe and put the BB star in there.

 

xoxo

Pam

 

Pam

 

I love hearing from you. We did go through this together. If it wasn't for your guidance I'm not sure I would have done as well as I did. You helped me enormously. I would have never gotten the scale and known what to do with it if it wasn't for you.

 

Yes, I am sleeping better....much better in fact. It feels wonderful. And yes, giant BB snow globe would be awesome. 

 

Don't be a stranger. Write me. 

[[Sv...]]

Hello Hope!,

 

Thanks very much for your message. I started the taper as follows:

 

Start 1 mg clonazapam

Reduce 0.25 mg dec 26, 2012

Reduce 0.25 mg jan 7, 2013

Reduce 0.25 mg jan 21, 2013

Final reduction 0.25 mg mar 17, 2013

 

Things were ok until the last dose reduction. It's almost six weeks now ad withdrawal symptoms are unreal. It seems too late to reinstate, but I just don't know what to do other than try to stick it out. Any suggestions?  Thank you!

[[Ho...]]

Hi Svenhoak,

 

Thank you for commenting. I'm sorry you're having a tough go. 6 weeks out isn't long. My best advice is to keep your mind occupied and try not to focus on your symptoms. Easier said than done, I know. However, I found that if I could distract myself, my symptoms lessened.

 

You may have read already that reinstatement doesn't always give the relief one would hope for, then you are left with the same symptoms and another taper. If it were me, I think I would stick out the symptoms as much as I could. I know they can be unnerving but they can't cause you harm.

 

Soon this will be a distant memory. Keep in touch and let me know how you're doing.

 

[[St...]]

Dear Hope,

 

I just wanted to wish you the best on your recovery.  I'm so happy to hear how well you are doing. Thank you for being such a positive force on the forum for everyone.  You are a strong lady to have been able to taper down, jump and handle your wd all while being there for BB.

 

I'm almost 20 months off benzos, I'm not there yet and do have waves, but if I look at my sxs most have disappeared during these 20 months. The sxs I have left - the physical ones have decreased in intensity. The waves I can't say are lessening in frequency but I would say that is due to I'm tapering off Lyrica. I got down to 7 mg 3 sxs a day and I was just too sick so I have gone back up to 12.5 mg and am holding here hoping to stabilize and then continue my taper just slower.  I had cut from 225 mg daily total down to 75 mg without too much trouble. I held there for a little over 2 months and when I started tapering it was smooth going until I got down to 26 mg, I pushed and went down to 21 mg and things were just too harsh. So I up dosed to 10 mg and then one last time to 12.5 mg. That's where I hold now. I'm hoping this is the right thing to do. I just got too crazy and scared at thoughts I was having when down so low. I have heard that the last 25 mg of Lyrica are the hardest to come off.  Maybe the further my benzo time extends out - my body will heal more and the Lyrica won't have such mental effects on me. I honestly don't know what else to do.

 

Didn't mean to get off on me, was really just wanting you to know I appreciate your help to the forum and my being happy for your healing.

 

Healing to all of us,

Sally 

[[Sv...]]

Thank you very much for your response Hope!  It's so tough to decide whether to reinstate or not, and doctors are useless on this.  I just feel like I'm losing my mind, and the memory loss is not helping!  I guess that's the "harm" that I'm afraid of. That, and I now realize in hindsight I came  off way too quick, but I can't change the past and I'm afraid of a protracted future. Your kind encouragement is sincerely appreciated!

[[Ho...]]

Dear Hope,

 

I just wanted to wish you the best on your recovery.  I'm so happy to hear how well you are doing. Thank you for being such a positive force on the forum for everyone.  You are a strong lady to have been able to taper down, jump and handle your wd all while being there for BB.

 

I'm almost 20 months off benzos, I'm not there yet and do have waves, but if I look at my sxs most have disappeared during these 20 months. The sxs I have left - the physical ones have decreased in intensity. The waves I can't say are lessening in frequency but I would say that is due to I'm tapering off Lyrica. I got down to 7 mg 3 sxs a day and I was just too sick so I have gone back up to 12.5 mg and am holding here hoping to stabilize and then continue my taper just slower.  I had cut from 225 mg daily total down to 75 mg without too much trouble. I held there for a little over 2 months and when I started tapering it was smooth going until I got down to 26 mg, I pushed and went down to 21 mg and things were just too harsh. So I up dosed to 10 mg and then one last time to 12.5 mg. That's where I hold now. I'm hoping this is the right thing to do. I just got too crazy and scared at thoughts I was having when down so low. I have heard that the last 25 mg of Lyrica are the hardest to come off.  Maybe the further my benzo time extends out - my body will heal more and the Lyrica won't have such mental effects on me. I honestly don't know what else to do.

 

Didn't mean to get off on me, was really just wanting you to know I appreciate your help to the forum and my being happy for your healing.

 

Healing to all of us,

Sally 

 

Hi Stillbelieving,

 

Thank you so much for your kind words of support.

 

To your other comments; I held quite often during my withdrawal. I have no experience with Lyrica but it sounds like your instincts are good where that's concerned. I'm sorry you're having a hard time of it. I hope things turn around soon. You deserve that.

 

 

 

 

 

[[Ho...]]

Thank you very much for your response Hope!  It's so tough to decide whether to reinstate or not, and doctors are useless on this.  I just feel like I'm losing my mind, and the memory loss is not helping!  I guess that's the "harm" that I'm afraid of. That, and I now realize in hindsight I came  off way too quick, but I can't change the past and I'm afraid of a protracted future. Your kind encouragement is sincerely appreciated!

 

There's nothing to indicate that someone that come off these meds rapidly are more likely to face protracted symptoms. We have members who have done a cold turkey who have healed in a reasonable amount of time. The true difficulty with a rapid taper is that symptoms may be more intense during the taper and for some months afterward. You would, in all likelihood, heal at the same rate no matter how rapidly you came off these meds so there is no reason to believe you will suffer from protracted withdrawal due to your taper rate. Most people don't suffer with protracted withdrawal. It may seem more common than it is due to this forum. Remember, our members who heal quickly leave the forum. Those who have more difficulties tend to stay on the forum. This is a self selecting group.

[[Ho...]]

Hi Svenhoak,

 

I thought you might be interested in reading what Dr. Ashton has to say about reinstatement:

 

 

Reinstatement, updosing

 

A dilemma faced by some people in the process of benzodiazepine withdrawal, or after withdrawal, is what to do if they have intolerable symptoms which do not lessen after many weeks. If they are still taking benzodiazepines, should they increase the dose? If they have already withdrawn, should they reinstate benzodiazepines and start the withdrawal process again? This is a difficult situation which, like all benzodiazepine problems, depends to some degree on the circumstances and the individual, and there are no hard and fast rules.

 

Reinstatement after withdrawal? Many benzodiazepine users who find themselves in this position have withdrawn too quickly; some have undergone 'cold turkey'. They think that if they go back on benzodiazepines and start over again on a slower schedule they will be more successful. Unfortunately, things are not so simple. For reasons that are not clear, (but perhaps because the original experience of withdrawal has already sensitised the nervous system and heightened the level of anxiety) the original benzodiazepine dose often does not work the second time round. Some may find that only a higher dose partially alleviates their symptoms, and then they still have to go through a long withdrawal process again, which again may not be symptom-free.

 

Updosing during withdrawal? Some people hit a "sticky patch" during the course of benzodiazepine withdrawal. In many cases, staying on the same dose for a longer period (not more than a few weeks) before resuming the withdrawal schedule allows them to overcome this obstacle. However, increasing the dose until a longed-for plateau of 'stability' arrives is not a good strategy. The truth is that one never 'stabilises' on a given dose of benzodiazepine. The dose may be stable but withdrawal symptoms are not. It is better to grit one's teeth and continue the withdrawal. True recovery cannot really start until the drug is out of the system.

 

Pharmacologically, neither reinstating nor updosing is really rational. If withdrawal symptoms are still present, it means that the GABA/benzodiazepine receptors have not fully recovered (see above). Further benzodiazepines cause further down-regulation, strengthen the dependence, prolong withdrawal, delay recovery and may lead to protracted symptoms. In general, the longer the person remains on benzodiazepines the more difficult it is to withdraw. On the whole, anyone who remained benzodiazepine-free, or has remained on the same dose, for a number of weeks or months would be ill-advised to start again or to increase dosage. It would be better to devote the brain to solving individual symptoms and to finding sources of advice and support. Advice about how to deal with individual symptoms is given in the Manual (Chapter 3).

[[Po...]]

Hope, sorry that I didn't see this sooner, but I don't read too much on the forum anymore because of my eye problem.  I did want to offer my congratulations.  I feel badly when i  miss things on the forum but most of the time the words get squiggly in my eyesight.  Take care of yourself and do what you can for the rest of the buddies here.  Don't know when I will be able to taper again, not till shots are done.

 

Hugs, Plady

[Guest [14...]]

What is the time period for protracted withdrawal? Thx.

[[Ho...]]

Hope, sorry that I didn't see this sooner, but I don't read too much on the forum anymore because of my eye problem.  I did want to offer my congratulations.  I feel badly when i  miss things on the forum but most of the time the words get squiggly in my eyesight.  Take care of yourself and do what you can for the rest of the buddies here.  Don't know when I will be able to taper again, not till shots are done.

 

Hugs, Plady

 

Hi Plady,

 

Don't worry about that. I know you've been having trouble with your eyes. Thank you so much for taking the time and effort to post. I really appreciate it and your good wishes. I hope hope things get better for you soon.

[[Ho...]]

What is the time period for protracted withdrawal? Thx.

 

Hi 14,

 

According to the Ashton Manual, if you're still having symptoms 18 months out, you would be considered to be in protracted withdrawal.

[[Sv...]]

Many thanks again Hope!  I sincerely look forward to withdrawal passing and your advice and encouragement is appreciated!  It will be six weeks tomorrow since my last dose of K. This final withdrawal sure is different than the first 0.75 mg!  I simply feel like I'm going "mad" now, whereas the first withdrawal was just an increase in anxiety. I can't wait for this to be over!

[[Ho...]]

Many thanks again Hope!  I sincerely look forward to withdrawal passing and your advice and encouragement is appreciated!  It will be six weeks tomorrow since my last dose of K. This final withdrawal sure is different than the first 0.75 mg!  I simply feel like I'm going "mad" now, whereas the first withdrawal was just an increase in anxiety. I can't wait for this to be over!

 

From what I see on the forum a second taper can be more difficult. It's wonderful that you're on your way to healing. I hope you feel better soon and will post your own success story when that day comes. 

[[az...]]

I really was encouraged reading your journey. I also hear that little voice telling me that these WD symptoms are going to be permanent. You have so much to share and I now have much more hope to be able to lead a normal life once again. I have only been off Clonazepam for a little over 4 months so I know that will take some time.

[[Ho...]]

Hi azalea flower (love your nickname),

 

That voice can be very loud. The funny thing is, when I was in a window I didn't hear it. I barely remembered it.

 

I'm so glad if my story has helped you in any little way. You will heal. I know there must be times you think that will never happen but it will. One day this will be a distant memory.

 

Good luck and continued healing, azalea.

 

[[Ho...]]

I'm still feeling good. I can understand why members leave the forum once they are healed. There really is a sense of wanting to get things done that were put off while tapering. I'm afraid I'm not on the forum as much as I had hoped I would. But I'll pop in as much as I can to help our members. 

[[me...]]

I'm still feeling good. I can understand why members leave the forum once they are healed. There really is a sense of wanting to get things done that were put off while tapering. I'm afraid I'm not on the forum as much as I had hoped I would. But I'll pop in as much as I can to help our members. 

 

I'm beginning to understand it too, but I'll stay on.  I'm glad you're doing so well, Hope!

 

[[Ho...]]

I'm still feeling good. I can understand why members leave the forum once they are healed. There really is a sense of wanting to get things done that were put off while tapering. I'm afraid I'm not on the forum as much as I had hoped I would. But I'll pop in as much as I can to help our members. 

 

I'm beginning to understand it too, but I'll stay on.  I'm glad you're doing so well, Hope!

 

 

Thanks Megan. 

[[Ca...]]

Megan and Hope,

  Knowing you are both healing is tremendously encouraging. Sometimes a few words of hope is all I need to feel I can face this another day. So thank you!

Carita

 

[[Go...]]

Hope and Megan

 

Your posts are encouraging.  Recently I have seen some improvements lately as I have gotten under 4 mg.  I am hoping this continues but I am being cautious. 

 

Hope I am wondering if you can say where you jumped and what that was like for you.

 

I am really looking forward to the end of this very long process.

 

Thanks

 

Golden

[[Ho...]]

Megan and Hope,

  Knowing you are both healing is tremendously encouraging. Sometimes a few words of hope is all I need to feel I can face this another day. So thank you!

Carita

 

 

Hi Carita,

 

I'm so glad to read this.   This is the point of this board. I wish more members would write success stories. If they would you would see that more people than you think get through this. 

[[Ho...]]

Hope and Megan

 

Your posts are encouraging.  Recently I have seen some improvements lately as I have gotten under 4 mg.  I am hoping this continues but I am being cautious. 

 

Hope I am wondering if you can say where you jumped and what that was like for you.

 

I am really looking forward to the end of this very long process.

 

Thanks

 

Golden

 

I'm so glad you're seeing improvements. That's how it happened for me as well. I felt better and better the lower I got in my taper. To answer your question, I jumped from .043 mgs Clonazepam (this is equivalent to .86 mgs of valium). I was taking such a small amount of clonazepam when I jumped. I believe I had already healed weeks before the actual jump. The amount I was taking really wasn't doing anything because it was such a small dose. By the time I jumped I felt significant healing had already taken place. I had some minor symptoms for a few weeks afterward (insomnia was by far the worst of it) but they disappeared and I was fine...and I still am.

[[No...]]

 

    Hi Hope:

              Congratulations on being healed. Everytime I hit a rough patch I read your success story with great HOPE!

               

              Thank you for sharing your story and  the wonderful news that you are moving forward. Thats what HEALING

              is all about.

 

              Please come back once in a while to share your JOY!

 

      Notforme