Tapering off Ativan Support Thread

[[Cl...]]

@[ta...]

Thank you for the tips about the supplements. Having some ibuprofen should be part of my medicine cabinet. Hope you will be fine for the rest of your tapering journey.

 

Hi DianeDeeDee, hang in there, you are almost there. It can be a long journey but we will succeed.

[[Ta...]]

Greetings Everyone!

 

Thank you Clinda & DianeDeeDee, for being here and reaching out to me, I so appreciate your encouraging words. It means a lot that you all know exactly what I'm going thru.

 

I've felt so invisible and muted-up during this process...it's impossible to explain to people, so I withdraw and just try to force myself to keep going. I feel less lonely thanks to all of you.

 

I'm sorry that this thread has to exist, but also grateful that we are all here together wanting to help one another. And Pamster, your wisdom and kindness are like a balm, you're amazing!

 

It's almost midnight. I made thru another day. That's all we can do. One 24 hour victory at a time.

 

And thanks so much for the prayers!

 

Eileen

[[Di...]]

Thanks Clinda and Eileen.  Eileen you are doing awesome with your taper I am so glad that we can support each other too!  Clinda are you tapering?  There is so much more useful information on here then any other website.  I hope you have both had as good of a day as possible.

Prayers and hugs 🙏🤗

 

[[Ta...]]

We are in the middle of a blizzard here in Central California, so I'm doubly trapped here, both at home, and I often feel trapped in this Benzo nightmare.

 

After reading about Seroquel on this thread I decided to give it a try. What a nightmare! I only took 12.5 mg ONE TIME, and for days I was a prisoner of it's side effects. Super dizzy and panicked with horrible gastro sxs. It was a major mind f***!

 

Today I thought it would be nice to take a nap while the snow poured down, so I took a Benedryl - just one. Now I feel like a thousand bees have swarmed all over me. I'm a giant sting!

I read some of the different accounts on BB of folks looking for the "magic" pill to help get us off of benzos, and of course there isn't one. But I seem to be addicted to trying "just one more thing!" Benedryl destroys HNMT, which along with DAO breaks down histamine. For me, histamine seems to be at the center of w/d misery. And I'm almost out of DAO, and there's no mail delivery until next week. So, I sort of shot myself in the foot with the Benedryl. I am hyper hyper hyper sensitive to everything now!

 

We all do this, we make mistakes. But with benzos it seems to hit right at the heart of self-esteem. I feel really bad about myself all of the time. I keep trying to go out into the world and engage in "normal" activities, but I'm not my "normal' self. I'm horribly altered by this trauma. I feel like a leper where ever I go.

 

I sadly wonder if even after I'm free from lorazepam, if I will ever feel valuable again. I'm just so isolated and worn down.

 

This whole journey started on March 10, 2004. My beyond-beloved husband of 20 years got a cut on the palm of his hand, and in two days he was dead. He was 51, and our daughter was 8 1/2 at the time. My doctor put me on Effexor and Ativan, and kept me on them for 16 years. In 2020 I contracted Covid and got Serotonin Syndrome. So that's where my journey to detox began.

 

All of us here have suffered so much. There's nothing that compares to this experience. I try every day to think of even one positive thing. Today it's hard. But, this little band of brave lorazepam taperers on this BB thread gives me hope. Sometimes I feel like the thread is tied around me, and is the only thing that's holding me together.

 

Thanks for reading.

 

Eileen

 

 

 

[[Di...]]

Oh Eileen,

I am so sorry you are suffering so badly.  I am such a coward when it comes to trying things.  I suffered terribly from meds the doctor put me on for high blood pressure then she added xanax, abruptly stopped the xanax and put me on a lesser dose of ativan.  So I have been really leery of everything but...you never know.  I wish there was a magic pill to help us.

 

You are so right we have all made mistakes on this journey but it is not our fault we have no real guidance through this nightmare.  Doctors we trusted let us down big time.  My trust in the medical profession is gone!  I understand you feeling bad about yourself but its the benzo lying to us.

 

I truly believe we will all come out of this nightmare in much better shape and be able to live a wonderful life.  I keep saying that I want my life back but I really want the new life that is waiting at the end of this journey.  We will get there just hang on!

 

I am so very sorry about your husband oh my goodness.  Bless your heart.

 

BB is a great place to get support, there is so much knowledge here.

 

Take care, sending prayers. 🤗🙏

 

 

[[Ta...]]

Thanks DianeDeeDee, for reminding me of what a horrible liar lorazepam is!

 

I should write that out on 3x5 cards and tape them up all over the place. "BENZOS LIE!" I'm gonna do it! It happens at the most vulnerable moments in life, like when you first wake up. Early this am the wind and rain woke me up- and I was terrified! So I got up and just started to talk out loud to the fear. And I turned on some lights and had some tea. The fear got smaller and smaller. It's like being a tiny little kid again, facing the monster under the bed. Only the monster is lorazepam.

 

I too look forward to a brand new life after we are done with these drugs. It's probably a good thing that you are afraid to try different things, they mostly trip me up! I just need to stay the course, and keep going. Things like magnesium and B vitamins caused a terrific electrical storm in me. It was scarey.

 

I went for a brisk walk in the snow this afternoon - that helps me more than anything. Along with meditation.

 

Thanks again for the encouragement and prayers. Keep at it! We will get there!

 

Eileen

[[Di...]]

Eileen I'm glad you were able to talk yourself out of the fear.  I like the 3x5 card idea!

 

I am sorry about the magnesium and B vitamins its just a guessing game.

 

Being outside in the fresh air helps a lot.  I need sunshine and it has been a really cloudy winter here so its been exceptionally hard.  I have a ridiculous amount of anxiety so if I can get outside it helps me.  I'm glad meditation helps you I can't seem to stay focused long enough for it to help me.

You are welcome we can never get enough prayers.

Hugs🤗

[[ha...]]

Has anyone experienced being nautious and wobbly after waking up.  My mom stopped taking selexa after a year under doctors control (Cold Turkey) and she was knocked on her butt.  Almost like a total withdrawl (and she is 8 months off lorasapam).  It is crazy the way some doctors handle themselfs it is like throwing things at a wall and hoping it works.

 

brad

[[Cl...]]

Hello there,

@Dianedeedee,yes I do taper, I am at 1,25mg but I don't know how to update my signature.

@tallgirl: so sorry for your loss, at least you have your daughter and are not completely alone. Life can be a battle sometimes. You are doing well to get rid of this benzo thing, hang in there you are almost there.

 

Like you it's a lonely battle to me as well. I live alone and I am not working at the moment. I don't know how I will handle a benzo withdrawal while working. It's hard to work well when you are feeling poorly and sick. I really hope that I won't have to get back on a higher dose like I did last time. It was hard to handle the withdrawal symptoms. Like you I pray God to have a lovely life as I went through so much suffering. It's very hard with benzo to get Doctors and people to understand and have the support and help needed. In my case Doctors are good at writing prescriptions only. I am scared to be sent back to psychiatric hospital if I become bed bound or have too strong withdrawal symptoms and I will have to start all over again.

 

 

[[Th...]]

When you suddenly stop an antidepressant, you typically get dizzy and nauseous. Even headaches and blurry vision, to the point where you should not drive.

[[Ta...]]

Hi Brad,

 

I took celexa a few years ago, and getting off of it suddenly can really be a shock to our brains! But the brain has this amazing ability to heal itself (fortunately!) I am very sorry for all the suffering your Mom is going thru (and you, too!) So, the nausea and wobbliness are most likely resulting from the c/t shock to her system. So, patience is called for here, to give your Mom's system a chance to recuperate. If she enjoys being in nature, some gentle walks could be helpful. Or maybe bring around children could be uplifting for her. What ever she likes or enjoys will help her brain rewire itself. She will heal, Brad.

 

I've been going thru some bad nausea and wobbliness myself lately. I caused my poor brain somr similar upset. I went down too far on lorazepam, then went back up, then down again. My brain is not happy right now. So, I'm trying to recover in a bit of a hold. I am going to try a probiotic from Seeking Health for the nausea. Several buddies have posted good results from a using probiotics and Seeking Health is a company that concentrates on histamine issues. I'll let you know how it goes. Sending positive thoughts.

 

Eileen

 

[[ha...]]

thanks for all your posts it is appreciated went to the doctor today and they through out Gabapenten for my mom.  The doctor was caring and trying to figure this out.  But not sure after reading alot online if it is good for my mom.  These meds give everyone ups and downs.  is it worth just waiting it out though the pain or throwing more chemicals at it.

 

brad

[[Ta...]]

Hello there,

@Dianedeedee,yes I do taper, I am at 1,25mg but I don't know how to update my signature.

@tallgirl: so sorry for your loss, at least you have your daughter and are not completely alone. Life can be a battle sometimes. You are doing well to get rid of this benzo thing, hang in there you are almost there.

 

Like you it's a lonely battle to me as well. I live alone and I am not working at the moment. I don't know how I will handle a benzo withdrawal while working. It's hard to work well when you are feeling poorly and sick. I really hope that I won't have to get back on a higher dose like I did last time. It was hard to handle the withdrawal symptoms. Like you I pray God to have a lovely life as I went through so much suffering. It's very hard with benzo to get Doctors and people to understand and have the support and help needed. In my case Doctors are good at writing prescriptions only. I am scared to be sent back to psychiatric hospital if I become bed bound or have too strong withdrawal symptoms and I will have to start all over again.

[[Ta...]]

Hi Clinda,

      To change your profile, you just hit the "Profile" key up above, and then touch "Update Profile." Then go down and make the changes that you want, and press "Done." I have a hard time too figuring things out. It's alright. We're just going thru so much. I am praying for you. I hope with all my heart that you will improve and feel more rested and secure. And that you will be able to stay out of the hospital. Try to do things that you like and that nurture you. Even a cup of tea can be a soothing pleasure, and can lift you up.My kitty is so sweet, and such a faithful friend. When she jumps up on my lap and starts purring, I try to concentrate on how soft and sweet she is. It lifts me up. I'm grateful!

Sending peaceful and uplifting thoughts and prayers to you. Thank you for being so kind and encouraging

 

Eileen

[[Ta...]]

Thanks Diannedeedee for your kind messages. Several months ago, I went to a doctor to talk to him about my taper. I had been left on Effexor and lorazepam for 16 years because my psychiatrist thought that they were "too hard to get off of." And they are...really hard to get off. I told the new doctor that I had gotten off of everything else, and I was having trouble with lorazepam. He said that he was very sympathetic, and promptly prescribed gabapentin, Seroquel and tramadol. I filled the script for gabapentin, but not the other two. The next day I called him, and was told that he was on his way to India and would be gone for three months! He just left me high and dry! So I understand your concerns about doctors! I never went back to that guy again. What a jerk.

 

I'm not taking gabapentin regularly, but I have been taking it a few times a month for pins and needles when I cut. Now I think that's a mistake. It seems to have it's claws in me. And whenever I use it I get deadly depressed for about a day. So, now I'm having severe pins and needles and I'm just toughing it out. I don't want to just trade one drug for another, I want to be free...if that's possible! I hope it is!

 

I am praying for all of us here that we will be liberated from the bondage of benzos. Strength and peace to all!

 

Eileen

 

I 'm trapped in a blizzard, so I'm not able to run or walk, the two drug free things that really helps me with symptoms. But it's supposed to be really sunny tomorrow, so maybe some of this snow will melt and I can get outside tomorrow. Right now, the things that help me are hot Epsom salt baths, dry skin brushing, and tart cherry juice with cayenne pepper. I hope I can stabilize before cutting again. I just want lorazepam to be a part of THE PAST!

 

 

 

 

[[Cl...]]

Thank you Eileen, I found it and was able to update my signature. Thank you for the kind words as well. As you can see I am quite at the beginning of the journey. One thing I understand with benzo is to be very patient and take it one day at a time. We are our own Doctor.

Hopefully tomorrow will be sunny and you will be able to walk or run. Peace and God bless everyone going through this journey.

[[Di...]]

Hi Clinda,

I am so glad Eileen helped you with how to update your profile.  It took me quite a while to figure out how to navigate my way around on here.

You are doing well with your taper.  You are so right one day at a time, I am trying to be patient but it sure is hard.

Sending you hugs🤗🤗

[[Di...]]

Thanks Diannedeedee for your kind messages. Several months ago, I went to a doctor to talk to him about my taper. I had been left on Effexor and lorazepam for 16 years because my psychiatrist thought that they were "too hard to get off of." And they are...really hard to get off. I told the new doctor that I had gotten off of everything else, and I was having trouble with lorazepam. He said that he was very sympathetic, and promptly prescribed gabapentin, Seroquel and tramadol. I filled the script for gabapentin, but not the other two. The next day I called him, and was told that he was on his way to India and would be gone for three months! He just left me high and dry! So I understand your concerns about doctors! I never went back to that guy again. What a jerk.

 

I'm not taking gabapentin regularly, but I have been taking it a few times a month for pins and needles when I cut. Now I think that's a mistake. It seems to have it's claws in me. And whenever I use it I get deadly depressed for about a day. So, now I'm having severe pins and needles and I'm just toughing it out. I don't want to just trade one drug for another, I want to be free...if that's possible! I hope it is!

 

I am praying for all of us here that we will be liberated from the bondage of benzos. Strength and peace to all!

 

Eileen

 

I 'm trapped in a blizzard, so I'm not able to run or walk, the two drug free things that really helps me with symptoms. But it's supposed to be really sunny tomorrow, so maybe some of this snow will melt and I can get outside tomorrow. Right now, the things that help me are hot Epsom salt baths, dry skin brushing, and tart cherry juice with cayenne pepper. I hope I can stabilize before cutting again. I just want lorazepam to be a part of THE PAST!

 

Hi Eileen,

Oh my gosh...I'm glad you didn't fill the other two scripts I have not heard good things about seroquel.  Thank goodness you didn't go back to that doctor either that's all most of them know what to do with us is write more scripts.  Its good that you stopped the gabapentin, I am so sorry you are having to deal with the pins and needles feeling I'm sure that must be miserable. 

I hope you its sunny and you will be able to get outside, we have a long driveway and I try to walk it a couple times a day it does help I think.

 

Thank you for your prayers.

Hugs🤗🤗

[[Ta...]]

There are some amazingly kind and caring people on this little Ativan thread. Which is even more astounding when you consider the level of suffering that we are all forced by benzos to endure. I once said to someone that "going through this UNIVERSE OF PAIN makes childbirth seem like a cakewalk!" As time goes on this seems more and more to be true. But you are all so gracious and thoughtful. Ativan is a harsh mistress indeed! And there are very few of us in this tiny troop of taperers! It means so much more, therefore, that you all reach out despite this anguish to be kind and encouraging...it does not go unnoticed or unappreciated.

 

Eileen

[[Di...]]

There are some amazingly kind and caring people on this little Ativan thread. Which is even more astounding when you consider the level of suffering that we are all forced by benzos to endure. I once said to someone that "going through this UNIVERSE OF PAIN makes childbirth seem like a cakewalk!" As time goes on this seems more and more to be true. But you are all so gracious and thoughtful. Ativan is a harsh mistress indeed! And there are very few of us in this tiny troop of taperers! It means so much more, therefore, that you all reach out despite this anguish to be kind and encouraging...it does not go unnoticed or unappreciated.

 

Eileen

 

Thank you Eileen for writing this it is beautiful and so true.🤗

[[Co...]]

There are some amazingly kind and caring people on this little Ativan thread. Which is even more astounding when you consider the level of suffering that we are all forced by benzos to endure. I once said to someone that "going through this UNIVERSE OF PAIN makes childbirth seem like a cakewalk!" As time goes on this seems more and more to be true. But you are all so gracious and thoughtful. Ativan is a harsh mistress indeed! And there are very few of us in this tiny troop of taperers! It means so much more, therefore, that you all reach out despite this anguish to be kind and encouraging...it does not go unnoticed or unappreciated.

 

Eileen

 

Hi Tall Girl,

 

Not on Ativan but couldn't help but notice this post and I totally agree. I'm amazed by how many caring buddies there are on this forum while many are going through hell. Also by how everyone is trying to emphasise the uniqueness of everyone's journey and to try to uplift and calm down others' worries.

[[Ta...]]

Thank you Cocodot. I see that you have also been deceived by modern medicine, just like most of us. I am so sorry about that. They poke us and prod us, and sometimes save our lives, but then when it comes to medication, they manipulate and lie to us. I hope that you will continue your journey off of this horrible drug without too much difficulty or discomfort.

 

Eileen

[[Cl...]]

@[Di...]

 

God bless you all

[[Ta...]]

How are you doing, Clinda?

[[Cl...]]

Hi Eileen,

I am doing ok. I am quite well actually. I had withdrawal symptoms when I was at 1mg and it was too fasr. I got back to 1.5mg as I was scared of being bed bound and not functioning at all. I had muscles spams and was really unwell. Thank you for asking and checking on me.

And you, how are you? Is the weather better for some walk?

I see that you were able to continue to taper. What is helping you the most managing your symptoms? Do you sleep better now?

I admire your courage to continue to taper no matter what. I hope I will be able to do as well as you. Me I am just cutting the pills. Thank God they come in 1mg so I will be able to cut to 0.25mg and jump right there. That's my plan.

Just a stupid question, is your syringe in ml or mg?

This forum is really great to connect people that needs the support.