Tapering off Ativan Support Thread

[[Ta...]]

You helped me so much, Diane. I was reading the Zen master, Thich Nhat Hahn, and he said "there is no compassion without suffering." And I see now how true that is. No suffering exists like Benzo withdrawal, especially when it comes to Ativan. You have suffered even more than most, yet you are one of the kindest most generous people on here. I don't know why this happens to us, but you have shown that goodness can come out of it. I'm so grateful.

 

Eileen

 

[[Di...]]

Oh thank you so much Eileen. 💕

[[BW...]]

EllieM--I am doing a dry cut taper.  I use a pill splitter to first cut a .5mg pill in half, then a razor blade to make further cuts, weigh it, and if I need to shave off just a little more I use a metal nail file.  The key for me, honestly, as I got below 1mg dosage was getting a lab-grade scale that I have a lot of confidence in.  But many have success with a jeweler's scale you can get from Amazon.  Are you weighing your doses? 

TallGirl--congrats on tolerating the caffeine!  We definitely need to celebrate those victories.

 

BW

[[Di...]]

Hi BWarrior,

How are your symptoms now?  I am on lorazepam intensol and the lower I have gotten the worse the symptoms are.  I have horrid anxiety and GI issues then developed a very weird bitter sour taste in my mouth last September which I still deal with.  I hope your symptoms are more tolerable.

Thank you,

Diane

[[BW...]]

Hi Diane,

So far I haven't had the traditional benzo withdrawal symptoms, but throughout this whole taper I've been dealing with a horrible mucus issue which, after trial & error trying to figure out what's going on, seems to be silent reflux.  It's been quite debilitating, and even though I don't have any proof or anybody else who seems to have dealt with this to the extent I have, I really think it's benzo-related.  I had nasal surgery a little over a year ago, so my doctors have assumed it was from that, but taking a Proton Pump Inhibitor is the only thing that has helped.  I'm hoping that once I get off the benzo maybe this will clear up.  I guess that's what we're all hoping.  I hope that you are able to find some relief from your symptoms.  This whole thing is so difficult for all of us.

BW

[[Di...]]

Oh BWarrior you are so blessed to not have to suffer with the traditional benzo symptoms.  I'm sure the silent reflux is horrible and most likely it is the benzo causing it.  I am so glad for you that the PPI is helping.  I have had acid reflux since I was a kid and also take a PPI which up until benzo wd helped but it does nothing now.  Once you are free from this poison I feel safe in saying your silent reflux will go away.  Thank you.  Yes it is an absolute nightmare journey we are on.

Hugs Diane🤗

[[BW...]]

Thank you so much Diane.  I appreciate your validating that this is benzo-related.  The reason I think it is, is because I dose 4x/day and it starts to kick up about 1/2 hour before my next dose.  It's horrible when I get up in the morning.  Like I said, the PPI has helped.  I don't want to be on the PPI long-term but i'm afraid I may have no choice.  Since this is so bad, I too feel very blessed to (at least so far) not have the traditional benzo withdrawal symptoms.  I've heard though that people sometimes have more problems once they get below the therapeutic dose, which I would guess is .5mg for Ativan/Lorazepam.  And I reached tolerance/interdose withdrawal before I started tapering (morning terrors, weird lip quivering & eye movements) so I am concerned about withdrawal as I get lower.

Anyway, hugs to you too!

BW

[[or...]]

Hi BWarrir,

So far I haven't had the traditional benzo withdrawal symptoms, but throughout this whole taper I've been dealing with a horrible mucus issue which, after trial & error trying to figure out what's going on, seems to be silent reflux.  It's been quite debilitating, and even though I don't have any proof or anybody else who seems to have dealt with this to the extent I have, I really think it's benzo-related.  I had nasal surgery a little over a year ago, so my doctors have assumed it was from that, but taking a Proton Pump Inhibitor is the only thing that has helped.  I'm hoping that once I get off the benzo maybe this will clear up.  I guess that's what we're all hoping.  I hope that you are able to find some relief from your symptoms.  This whole thing is so difficult for all of us.

BW

 

I tell you, I've found the most amazing things about what people have had to deal with as far as possible side-effects of benzos!!  I have the same mucus issue and it's just awful, nothing has worked in the 7 years I've had it. I believe mine is sinus, but teeter on the whole Silent Reflux issue.  What I do now has made mine better which was changed my diet, use sinus irrigation and my own saline solution (nose-spray) if it gets bad.  I also find for more immediate relief for when it keeps me awake, drink a tsp of baking soda in half a cup of water, just about 5 sips and see if it helps, a few more sips if it doesn't.  99% of the time just about 5 sips breaks it up enough so it doesn't bother my sleep

 

I know I should go to a specialist but just too stubborn to try that as I see it getting worse according to weather and pollen counts.  It still could be LPR though.  Not many studies or reliable info that I've found on a cure.

 

I am so hopeful to cure a lot of these oddities from my life when I win what I call the biggest battle of my life, beating Clonazepam   another "someone" on the same road to recovery, Denise 

[[BW...]]

Hi Denise,

I think you may mean TallGirl as far as the photo. She does have a nice picture, doesn't she? 

It's good to hear I'm not alone with this symptom. In addition to the PPI, I'm going to start eating my large meal mid-afternoon instead of evening and some other dietary changes (I've already cut out tomatoes & citrus fruit).  We'll see.  My friend let me borrow a book called "Dropping Acid: The Reflux Diet Cookbook & Cure" and it really has helped.

Best wishes on your road to recovery.

BW

 

[[or...]]

Yes I see I messed that up, so sorry, I'll edit it out. 

 

Thank you for the book suggestion, and especially if it talks about the LPR (Silent Reflux).

 

I have no acid reflux any longer, unless, I eat at least 3 hours before lying down to sleep, or read   My foods are a Ketogenic friendly diet bit I cook all my own meals.  Never had a family/children of my own so didn't get burn-out.  Basically late-in-life student of how to cook

 

I have found a couple of foods, easily digestible types like boiled eggs, or believe it or not, popcorn is fine, just 2 cups popped, even an hour before I lie down.

 

I still have this mucus thing so there is more to learn about that for sure.  I won't tackle everything now, baby-steps here, but I'll take a look at your suggestion, thank you much, Denise 

[[Ta...]]

Thanks for the kind words, BW.

I did alright with one cup of tea, but then I tested fate, and tried more caffeine, crashed and burned. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does this kind of thing! I just so very much want to be normal again. Maybe that's impossible now. I just spent 24 hours in bed after poisoning myself with caffeine. It directly acts on GABA receptors. I'm so close to the end of my taper, and I really screwed up!

[[or...]]

Thanks for the kind words, BW.

I did alright with one cup of tea, but then I tested fate, and tried more caffeine, crashed and burned. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does this kind of thing! I just so very much want to be normal again. Maybe that's impossible now. I just spent 24 hours in bed after poisoning myself with caffeine. It directly acts on GABA receptors. I'm so close to the end of my taper, and I really screwed up!

 

You are not the only one, we are, well, human, and cannot be perfect   I don't believe that will derail you from you ending your benzo-taper lovely lady.  I am only a peer, hooked on Clonazepam for 35 years, 70 years old now and just waking up to the "whys" of some of my issues being from that drug.  As you well know, it's been like a rollercoaster ride with only just over 2.5 months of tapering.  I used to hear this a lot, and hold dear to it when I remember, "don't give up before the miracle". 

 

I quit caffeine too, had some headaches, and now drink a rather yummy concoction (to me anyway ) that suits me using decaf.  It took a bit to get over the headaches from wd from caffeine but I can't go back as I have a bad tremor that I can't deal with so I don't eat or drink anything that would make it worse, as I've tried already :'( just like you.  You are strong, and I know we feel weak sometimes but when a window (as they call it) opens, it's so wonderful, better than anything in my life after being so miserable on a tiny pill that could have stold any quality of life I might have, or gain, Denise, a fellow-ett traveler sending hugs and much love your way 

[[Ta...]]

Thank you, Denise, for your kind words and for being so honest! They say "one day at a time," but for me sometimes it's "one moment at a time." All these years I didn't know that so many substances we ingest could be so powerful! I drive by Starbuck's and see the long line of people getting super caffeinated, and that tiny bit of caffeine made me go out of my mind a little! Everything has changed because of the benzos, but I still have hope that once I'm off (fingers crossed) that there will be healing. I hope and pray that your deliverance and healing will be swift and smooth!

Much love to you too, Denise.

 

Eileen

[[or...]]

Thank you, Denise, for your kind words and for being so honest! They say "one day at a time," but for me sometimes it's "one moment at a time." All these years I didn't know that so many substances we ingest could be so powerful! I drive by Starbuck's and see the long line of people getting super caffeinated, and that tiny bit of caffeine made me go out of my mind a little! Everything has changed because of the benzos, but I still have hope that once I'm off (fingers crossed) that there will be healing. I hope and pray that your deliverance and healing will be swift and smooth!

Much love to you too, Denise.

 

Eileen

 

Morning Eileen   I'm glad to learn more about how powerful caffeine can be.  I had one episode since I quit the caffeine where I thought I was buying my decaf, but forgot to look for the green lid.  Didn't notice at all for 3 days, and couldn't figure out why my tremor was so bad.  This is before I started my taper from Clonazepam, and I kept thinking back what I ate, or anything that could have caused the "spike" in my shakiness.  It finally dawned on me I had bought the regular brown-lid jar   Won't do that again.  Were your symptoms like being wired, not able to sleep, plus other symptoms?

 

I think I've learned to quit "learning the hard way" seemingly on purpose  Can't agree more on one day at a time.  Like Rose said on my fave, old sitcom, one day at a time is best because if you took two days at a time you'd have to change your underwear more often   Denise 

[[Ta...]]

Ha ha ha ha! - that Rose, you gotta love her!

I woke up twice during the night with panic attacks after too much caffeine! The only time that happened to me before was from cutting too much valium. I couldn't believe that a substance in coffee or tea was as powerful as a Benzo! But, now I am super-sensitized. I keep hoping that somehow, one day I'll wake up and be "normal" again, but I don't know what the future holds.

Are you able to enjoy life at all during your taper, dear Denise? I try to go out into nature as much as possible, and take it all in. I am much more aware of the struggles and suffering of others now because of the Benzo torment. And I'm more compassionate.

 

You are in my thoughts and prayers,

Eileen

[[wi...]]

Thank God, I can now drink tiny cup of coffee.  It used to affect me terrible, but now anymore....thank you God!

 

 

Talll girl you still sound really good..I'm glad to hear it.

[[Ta...]]

Thanks widesky. I need all the encouragement I can get right now. It's a little scarey at the end - which surprises me! I thought it would be rose petals and ponies. Maybe they come later.

Hope you are alright. ☺️

[[or...]]

Ha ha ha ha! - that Rose, you gotta love her!

I woke up twice during the night with panic attacks after too much caffeine! The only time that happened to me before was from cutting too much valium. I couldn't believe that a substance in coffee or tea was as powerful as a Benzo! But, now I am super-sensitized. I keep hoping that somehow, one day I'll wake up and be "normal" again, but I don't know what the future holds.

Are you able to enjoy life at all during your taper, dear Denise? I try to go out into nature as much as possible, and take it all in. I am much more aware of the struggles and suffering of others now because of the Benzo torment. And I'm more compassionate.

 

You are in my thoughts and prayers,

Eileen

 

Yes, I have such amazing mornings most of the time, but I can be setoff by the littlest things like forgetting my wallet, not paying attention to the time and almost being late for an appt.  So sort of extreme mood changes that I call panic attacks or anxiety, I've never been sure which.  I don't feel so different now that I am tapering except I would have to say much more often, good days and almost zero depression.  I've only taken the 1 mg C and have not had to, or accepted any other meds luckily.  I don't have severe night-terrors, just a feeling of dread that can come and go within a minute.

 

I read something on this forum that scared me bad yesterday a.m.  Some gal was so ill after stopping her meds cold-turkey.  I only hope more people will see the info on benzos and understand the dangers, believe the dangers.  I can understand situations where a benzo might be greatly needed, but long term use, imo opinion very rarely, like morphine, or other addictive drugs  :'(

 

I'm so tired still, as I drove a friend a total of 6 hours yesterday to have an EEG which is some sort of scan to see if he is having stroke, or seizure I don't know how many, or what kind of drug he is on but his body is so damaged from years of illness and surgeries especially on his heart.  He has a caregiver that is so excellent for him, at least, but no one else pretty much.

 

Anyway, he talked all the way, and told me stories, some I'd heard before but it made our drive go much faster.  He doesn't hear, hardly at all, won't wear his hearing aids, I don't blame him I don't like something sticking in my ear    I can still hear w/o them though, his ears are damaged from an injury I think it was.

 

I've pretty much learned that the way I feel physically and mentally, the ups and downs are the years of taking the C plus getting older.  The things that aren't normal I do believe are more the benzo because their all said to be side-effects like Tinnitus, tremors, worse anxiety and depression.

 

I don't have a clue what life without the C will be like, but I am hoping for the best, for all of us Eileen, very happy to have you to talk to and the others I have met along the "road to recovery", hugs lovely lady, Denise 

[[or...]]

Thanks widesky. I need all the encouragement I can get right now. It's a little scarey at the end - which surprises me! I thought it would be rose petals and ponies. Maybe they come later.

Hope you are alright. ☺️

 

LOL, you're a hoot Eileen, yes, I want to see the "laters" that I hope will be full of the sort of care-free gal, minus the stupid 

[[Jo...]]

Hello. I’m new-ish. I’m trying to taper off 0.5mg Ati. I was taking it every other night to help manage a cardiac issue I have (which consequently I believe was caused by the ati).

 

April 28th moved to x3 water dose of 0.5mg to try and stabilize in order to start taper.

April 20. Moved to 0.5mg every day in preparation for taper.

2019-April 2023. 0.5mg every other night.

2014-2019. 1-3 nights per week for sleep.

 

My health has really been deteriorating since Oct 2022 with increased shortness of breath, fatigue, exercise intolerance, odd aches and pains. I thought it was hormones or iron deficiency. I hit a wall mid April 2023. Couldn’t eat, chest pain all the time, nausea, anxiety (which was new), shortness of breath, weak legs, unable to stay upright for long periods of time, sleeping issues and a lot of really scary things happening when I’m drifting off to sleep.

 

I’m basically stuck on the couch for most of the day and dread night time because it’s just so so scary.

 

I have an option to switch to Diaz or continue with my water taper. I don’t know if I’ll survive this water taper. I am so scared.

 

Can anyone relate to any of this?

[[Di...]]

JoJo I am so sorry you are struggling so much.  I completely understand I have several of the same symptoms.  I'm using liguid lorazepam intensol that I mix with water I did not want to switch to valium was afraid of more issues.  I always say better the devil you know.  I think all benzos are horrible.

We have to hang in there I know its terribly hard.  I have tried to figure out easier ways to taper and there is none you have to stay the course and that has been a hard thing for me to accept. 

We will heal from this it just takes time.  I'm sure others will offer more support.

Hugs🤗

[[or...]]

Hello. I’m new-ish. I’m trying to taper off 0.5mg Ati. I was taking it every other night to help manage a cardiac issue I have (which consequently I believe was caused by the ati).

 

April 28th moved to x3 water dose of 0.5mg to try and stabilize in order to start taper.

April 20. Moved to 0.5mg every day in preparation for taper.

2019-April 2023. 0.5mg every other night.

2014-2019. 1-3 nights per week for sleep.

 

My health has really been deteriorating since Oct 2022 with increased shortness of breath, fatigue, exercise intolerance, odd aches and pains. I thought it was hormones or iron deficiency. I hit a wall mid April 2023. Couldn’t eat, chest pain all the time, nausea, anxiety (which was new), shortness of breath, weak legs, unable to stay upright for long periods of time, sleeping issues and a lot of really scary things happening when I’m drifting off to sleep.

 

I’m basically stuck on the couch for most of the day and dread night time because it’s just so so scary.

 

I have an option to switch to Diaz or continue with my water taper. I don’t know if I’ll survive this water taper. I am so scared.

 

Can anyone relate to any of this?

 

I'm too new myself Jojo, but this thread might be of some use to you.  It's about micro-tapers, which make more sense to me than anything I've read or heard so far.  I tapered too much too fast a total of 3 times in my life, and during the 3rd time, I found BB, thank goodness.  Try this thread Jojo for micro-tapering feedback from people that have completed the process, and those that are still on their journey to freedom from benzos Denise    Everyone is a bit different I talk to and I've learned that some folks including me, choose when and how to taper by what they wd sxs are telling them.  I hope this might help you.  Try not to do it the same way that works for one person, but gather the info and form your very own way as you go.  At least that's what I'm doing and I can't tell you anything except that I have already experienced hellish results from tapering too fast, and I believe (for me) the slowest taper is the best:

 

https://www.amazon.com/photos/shared/Nq0xtmw1RwuwG2lGJw4p-w.G3A9rkgyBCB6IOmH_Wkq22

[[Jo...]]

Thank you. My plan is to put 0.5mg Ativan in 100mls of water and pull 1ml, 2ml, 3ml, etc. I wonder why my water amount is so small.

[[Ta...]]

I tried tapering with water, but the crushed pill  just floated to the bottom. I tried different types of milk, and the one that had a nice consistency for mixing with Ativan was a pea protein milk called "Ripple." Animal milk spoils easily, and needs to be refrigerated. I had better luck with plant milk. Wish you well, JoJo.

[[Ta...]]

Has anyone used an iron supplement that you would recommend? My hemoglobin is at 12. B12 is normal, though. I am also having kidney/flank pain on the left side. Blood work shows no infection, and only a tiny trace of protein in urine. There are some old posts here on BB where people end up after their taper being anemic and having kidney pain. Any thoughts? Suggestion?