My home is one big mess

[[Ma...]]

Mary: I've had migraine for 20 years, it could come 2-3 times a week. Now, I have not had migraines for no reason, in 7-8 years. But if something happens, for example with beloved animals, then I'll get it. I hope, with all my heart, you soon feel better!

 

I saw, you also like Battlestar Galactica, it was my rescue when it was the worst. Looking at it all day, I couldn`t stop watching. Life became so boring when it was over.

I love space war and transformers. Have you seen Stargate Atlantis, with all the wonderful wraiths? Is there a continuation on BG, I hope so!

 

My husband is a big sci-fi addict.  I really only like a few.  I did love me a good Borg tho

[[tr...]]

The 70's was a good period, with many great songs. Do you remember sexy Marc Bolan/T.Rex, with "Hot love" and "Get it on?" Jim Morrisson/The Doors was also nice to watch with "Light my fire". Many memories!

[[Ma...]]

The 70's was a good period, with many great songs. Do you remember sexy Marc Bolan/T.Rex, with "Hot love" and "Get it on?" Jim Morrisson/The Doors was also nice to watch with "Light my fire". Many memories!

 

Yes I do!  I love music, when I am well, that's how I exercise.  Right now I am a little too sensitive to sound and I only like my music loud so I can't listen right now.  Hopefully soon

[[tr...]]

Mary: It's the same here, I'm so sensitive. I can`t listen to hard rock, then I get terrified and start sweating. So calm and quiet. What a sad life!

[[Ma...]]

Mary: It's the same here, I'm so sensitive. I can`t listen to hard rock, then I get terrified and start sweating. So calm and quiet. What a sad life!

 

I know, sad is the perfect word.  We never imagined our lives like this and it's such a long journey.  I try not to think too much about how much longer I have to go, I try to keep my mind on being as symptom free as I can be while I'm on it.  I have no choice but to take the journey, but I can have an impact on my symptoms, at least some ....have a good day T.   

[[tr...]]

Now, I'm in the mess, again! Tomorrow they come with food, so I just have to get ready. But maybe, they can push down the food in the mailbox? At the moment, it feels like the only option, but unfortunately impossible. Leave the food outside the door? No. I have to clean, OMG!

[[Ma...]]

Now, I'm in the mess, again! Tomorrow they come with food, so I just have to get ready. But maybe, they can push down the food in the mailbox? At the moment, it feels like the only option, but unfortunately impossible. Leave the food outside the door? No. I have to clean, OMG!

 

A little at a time T.......don't let it overwhelm u 

[[tr...]]

Mary, No risk! The only thing that has happened, is that it's even more messy!

[[Es...]]

Now, I'm in the mess, again! Tomorrow they come with food, so I just have to get ready. But maybe, they can push down the food in the mailbox?

 

Translator, then you’d have to clean the mailbox Another chore... It’s better if they just left the food outside. You could place a small table where they could leave the food...

 

Another Marie Kondō

for you ladies. Inspiration is everything. Right now, I’m busy working. But I’m planning and visualizing the whole process down to the tiniest detail. These vids are very helpful! Will be posting other motivational stuff here later on.

[[tr...]]

Estee: YES! A small table with a cloth on. I can sit and wait in a Baden-Baden chair. Do I have to get dressed?

[[Es...]]

Estee: YES! A small table with a cloth on. I can sit and wait in a Baden-Baden chair. Do I have to get dressed?

 

A stylish jumpsuit would do. You could say you’re having an overhaul

 

Check out the vid I posted. It’s very motivating.

 

[[tr...]]

Estee: Thank you for the link! Have they been home with me? Clothes, clothes and clothes! Because, there is no translation, I didn`t understand everything. What did she do, with all the clothes? I have a VERY GOOD (or really very bad) solution: the bedroom! I use it as a huge wardrobe, where I just throw in everything. But the problem is, when I go to bed in the evening: how do I get to bed? The neighbor below, has to wonder what happens, earthquake? It has been great, and it will be - in some way!

[[Es...]]

Estee: Thank you for the link! Have they been home with me? Clothes, clothes and clothes! Because, there is no translation, I didn`t understand everything. What did she do, with all the clothes? I have a VERY GOOD (or really very bad) solution: the bedroom! I use it as a huge wardrobe, where I just throw in everything. But the problem is, when I go to bed in the evening: how do I get to bed? The neighbor below, has to wonder what happens, earthquake? It has been great, and it will be - in some way!

 

Translator, I wore the same clothes all the time during the last four years... Which saved me as a matter of fact. As BZD made me lose the habit of hanging clothes back in the closet. I’ve got an incredible amount of clothes. But as I felt lousy all the four years, I didn’t wear them. It’s a blessing really. Still got some stuff to wash, iron and hang back.

 

My chief problem is papers... I collected all those disability papers from many years. One cannot say about disability papers that they actually "spark joy". I guess the chief criterion is if they are functional...

 

Please watch those vids, you’ll get motivated to discard stuff. Try to imagine your ideal lifestyle. The first step to everything is visualizing the ideal lifestyle down to the tiniest details. She also says to take photos of the rooms before tidying up. I’ve got more vids to post. But for the moment, these two are enough, especially the last KonMari vid. Probs better than the first. One needs to get brainwashed in order to start tidying up. Just put on Motörhead’s "Bomber" or some other energizing track, and start discarding! We’ll make it!

[[Es...]]

Translator, maybe you could order some hangers online? Most of my clothes are on hangers, cause I hate folding. KonMari has this special method of folding, but I’ll leave it for later.

 

I guess you should start discarding by category. The first category would be clothes. You need to think which clothes to keep. Then which to discard.

 

The most important thing is to get motivated, so do watch the vids. KonMari’s passion for tidying up is contagious. Hugs. Stay strong. Keep imagining the home of your dreams.

[[tr...]]

Estee, thanks for all the tips, they are great!

 

It wasn`t like this before the withdrawal, it was always clean. I worked as a nurse, and then I was used to, it being always clean and tidy. The apartment was so nice, and just everything was brand new.

But after living on the couch, under 28 months (after CT for 25 years, and polydrugged) it's no longer so. Because I live alone, I should have got help right from the start. But I never ever thought  I would be so sick, and so long! During 26 months, I could hardly go to the bathroom, or turn around on the sofa. I drank water in the glass for the toothbrush, it was too hard to go to the kitchen.

 

But now I can be up for shorter moments, at last! I have washed these last days, so clothes hang out everywhere. (but at least, they are clean). I'll be back, it will be as nice as before the withdrawal. I have now started sorting in boxes, and it is really quite exciting! It is as much new, as I had forgotten.

But all these papers! Thank goodness, others have helped me with phone calls and pay bills. During the first 15 months, I had the classic chemical anxiety and horror. I was afraid of everything! I didn`t dare to answer the phone, or open my letters. What a hell time!

 

But it's still tough to be up. It feels like "mold, salt and electricity" in the nervous system. Don`t tolerate stress at all, then there will be a wave at once. But I try to take a bit, and fold clothes on the couch.

Who thought it would be like this? Right now, I'm enjoying Motörhead and "Rock N Roll". What a voice!

[[Es...]]

:thumbsup:

 

"I got rock n’roll

Satisfies my soul

And if that’s how it is

It ain’t so bad

 

I got rock n’roll

Save me from the cold

If there’s all there is

It ain’t so bad [...]"

[[tr...]]

Motörhead is just the best!

It hurts me, to watch the video, with all motorcycles. After work, I rushed home, and put on my leather clothes. What freedom! But I may sell my MC, maybe never back. I'm too old, and don`t have the strength in my arms and legs. But can always sit behind someone, yes!

 

What do you have for dreams, when this hell is over? I have always had horses since childhood, and would love to continue. But then, I have to hold on to the horse, because then I break all the legs in the body.

I have always loved freedom and adventure, and soon it's to late. Now, I may just live on memories, but that's not enough! I want to start living life again, and enjoy every day.

 

As I said, what do you look forward to, here in life?

 

 

 

[[Gr...]]

Thanks for the inspiring videos Estee. 

 

I am finding myself making excuses to not call the house cleaners yet.  I feel like I have to clean up a bit first.  I do not want them in my bedroom.  I feel like it is too messy for them right now. 

 

Translator- Re: Do you have to get dressed?  I can't tell you how many times I have taken my child to school in my pajamas, in the last few years.  Okay, actually his whole life.  I recently decided I can get dressed in clothes without bathing or makeup, and that has made my mornings easier, at least for the part where I take him to school. 

 

At the beginning of the school year, one time, one of the other Mom's said something like, "Oh we're all just in sweatpants now."  laughing, saying it like cause for her, I guess it was dressing down.  But for me, that's my normal outfit now, after I have showered and everything.  I felt really crummy to be in her category of "not nice" clothes. 

[[tr...]]

GreenCup: I've always wanted my friends to call first, before they arrive. Although it's really pretty, I just see what's messy. But I don`t care what it looks like in others. You can have it, just the way you want it. There is a classic expression: "I have to clean, because the cleaning company is going to clean". I don`t want others to see my things that are not clean, then I'm ashamed. (and especially not dirty laundry). I know it's so crazy, but I just can`t think of another way.

 

I have also had pajamas outdoors, but I had a coat and pants over. Or?  I love my bathrobe, and often used it in the garden in the mornings. I've also had it on me when I've cut grass. Once, I went out to one wing building, and saw  it was very messy. When a craftsman arrived at 15:00, I was not done. I stood in the nightwear, and my husband's big rubber boots. I was very sweaty, and had not combed my hair. For some reason, he didn`t come back, I don`t understand why ...

 

Now tonight, I have a half window, it's just not true! But I know, what's going to happen: I'll be very active, then get tired of everything. When I wake up tomorrow, it will look like an impact of a bomb. What have I done? I know, it's really dangerous to write this, then there's a wave that's ten times worse - BAM! But in case, I had made a try, always something!

How is it going for you?

[[Es...]]

Motörhead is just the best!

It hurts me, to watch the video, with all motorcycles. After work, I rushed home, and put on my leather clothes. What freedom! But I may sell my MC, maybe never back. I'm too old, and don`t have the strength in my arms and legs. But can always sit behind someone, yes!

 

What do you have for dreams, when this hell is over? I have always had horses since childhood, and would love to continue. But then, I have to hold on to the horse, because then I break all the legs in the body.

I have always loved freedom and adventure, and soon it's to late. Now, I may just live on memories, but that's not enough! I want to start living life again, and enjoy every day.

 

As I said, what do you look forward to, here in life?

 

I used to wear leather jackets before I got my Kitty. Afterwards, I couldn’t wear stuff made from animals. Mother was trying to wear my jackets. But they are too small for her. I’m dreaming about a very tidy, decluttered appt. for me & my Kitty. All I want is a peaceful life, I guess. The capacity to enjoy every moment. Feeling financially secure. I hope I’ll never have to go back to that dreadful office job, as I hated it. I want to earn enough money doing translations and photography to have a decent life. The stuff I translated in the past was incredibly boring. And all this office life, the intrigues etc. It was so disgusting. I think some ppl there had nothing more in life, so they engaged in it. All this kind of finished me off. You know, I understand freedom as independence. I don’t want to be dependent on psych meds or on other ppl’s approval/love. Kitty offers me unconditional love. I don’t really need more. All I want is to be able to do my job well and to be independent.

[[Es...]]

Thanks for the inspiring videos Estee. 

 

I am finding myself making excuses to not call the house cleaners yet.  I feel like I have to clean up a bit first.  I do not want them in my bedroom.  I feel like it is too messy for them right now. 

 

Translator- Re: Do you have to get dressed?  I can't tell you how many times I have taken my child to school in my pajamas, in the last few years.  Okay, actually his whole life.  I recently decided I can get dressed in clothes without bathing or makeup, and that has made my mornings easier, at least for the part where I take him to school. 

 

At the beginning of the school year, one time, one of the other Mom's said something like, "Oh we're all just in sweatpants now."  laughing, saying it like cause for her, I guess it was dressing down.  But for me, that's my normal outfit now, after I have showered and everything.  I felt really crummy to be in her category of "not nice" clothes.

 

GC. Who needs make-up? Do men wear make-up? Oh yeah, guys from "The Cure" do. Why do you even care about what some woman said about the way you dress. Not everyone will like the way you look or dress, even if you wore best designer clothes...

 

I’m just wearing jeans, tees and sneakers. I don’t give a damn about what ppl think. You could buy yourself some nice jumpsuits, if you like jumpsuits. They are comfortable for sure. Sweatpants look okay with a T-shirt and a denim jacket. One has to bathe and wash hair, that’s true. I’m obsessed with my nails. They always have to be short and well manicured But I don’t bother to go to a nail salon anymore.

 

I cannot say if the bedroom is presentable enough to let the cleaners in. You cannot have stuff on the floor, for sure. I think procrastinating doesn’t make sense. The sooner you get it done, the better. I like the rule to get it 80% done and correct it later. Those ppl won’t care much how your bedroom looks like. All they’re interested in is how much you’ll pay them. Sometimes when ppl see that someone is messy, they may perceive them as weak. But it’s not always true. Mother had this sloppy friend, who was extremely intelligent and didn’t care about others’ opinions. As long as one knows one’s sense of worth. It doesn’t matter what others think.

 

I guess you should have those cleaners over as soon as possible. Just get it over with

[[gi...]]

It wasn`t like this before the withdrawal, it was always clean.

 

Maybe you can hire cleaning help.

[[tr...]]

Ginger: You thought, I would hire a cleaning company. Three bastard ladies, come in and shrink with buckets. They are always screaming about how messy it is. There I stand, and looks like a fool. No cleaning company, please!

I can now, finally, be up for shorter moments. What a feeling, it feels like luxury life! Now, I know how to do, when somebody arrives. I have done very well in the hall, and in the kitchen. Then I put a chair in the hall - here, but no longer! They are so kind and laughing, and think I'm crazy. "It's not that messy here?" But if they walk around the corner, then there's something else. Now, I have taken a deep sigh of relief, the week's visit is over.

 

Now, I've started to get some shorter windows, and it makes me so happy! What do I do then? It will be even more messy - of course!

[[gi...]]

So sorry to hear that translator 100, these cleaning ladies certainly sound mean, they are supposed to help you, not aggravate you.  Maybe you can try a friend to come around, not necessarily to just help clean, but to motivate each other and then maybe clean and organize a little.  Sometimes I find that to be a good starting point when I'm stuck in a rut.  Hope this works out for you.   

[[Ma...]]

yes, the cleaning ladies. I had a good one.. very young.. but then she told me about karma. And why I am sick.

Was her last day.

Why the hell cant they just shut up and clean??

I was wondering to hire one of the "I will clean up naked"-guys.. maybe they are quiet..