My home is one big mess

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A very good sign of healing, is how much I can clean. Earlier, I hardly hurried to look at the mess, to clean was just not to think about. But today I have vacuumed the sofa, and cleaned the floor. When I moved here, everything was new, white and chubby-chic. The floor was a nice parquet floor. But when I removed the carpet, it was a big stain, because the floor there was worn. So it just seems where I've spent life under 27 months - on the couch.

 

So, now I'm going to fight, I have to get ready. It feels like luxury in the places I have cleaned! After all, I will love to clean, and to let people in. I am tired of talking in the doorway, and be worried that somebody has to come in.

I have now done a schedule for 15-minute periods, cleaning, rest, meditation and easier exercises. But I know, I have to take it very carefully, otherwise there will be a wave immediately.

 

A few days ago, I had a pretty good window. Had internal vibration, and became easily exhausted, but I hurried up to half an hour at a time! Then I get very enthusiastic, and it's high risk I promise others too much. But the next day, the door was opened to hell again. I slept in principle for 20 hours, but it was good, because I felt so bad.

 

So now it's chaos, because I clean. (I can never take a room at a time). If there is a wave, it will look like burglary. But at least, I've started!

 

How is it going for you?

[[Ma...]]

A very good sign of healing, is how much I can clean. Earlier, I hardly hurried to look at the mess, to clean was just not to think about. But today I have vacuumed the sofa, and cleaned the floor. When I moved here, everything was new, white and chubby-chic. The floor was a nice parquet floor. But when I removed the carpet, it was a big stain, because the floor there was worn. So it just seems where I've spent life under 27 months - on the couch.

 

So, now I'm going to fight, I have to get ready. It feels like luxury in the places I have cleaned! After all, I will love to clean, and to let people in. I am tired of talking in the doorway, and be worried that somebody has to come in.

I have now done a schedule for 15-minute periods, cleaning, rest, meditation and easier exercises. But I know, I have to take it very carefully, otherwise there will be a wave immediately.

 

A few days ago, I had a pretty good window. Had internal vibration, and became easily exhausted, but I hurried up to half an hour at a time! Then I get very enthusiastic, and it's high risk I promise others too much. But the next day, the door was opened to hell again. I slept in principle for 20 hours, but it was good, because I felt so bad.

 

So now it's chaos, because I clean. (I can never take a room at a time). If there is a wave, it will look like burglary. But at least, I've started!

 

How is it going for you?

 

You're healing and really moving forward, very proud of you and your efforts!!  I'm ok, not great but I really can't complain. Others are much worse, but sending healthy thoughts to us all.

[[Es...]]

Great to hear of your progress, Translator Marie Kondō says to declutter by category. I’m still wondering which method I should choose. By room or by category. So I’m at the stage of preparations ATM. Each Monday a new beginning. Yeah, I’m going to fight as well. Every small success I hear of strengthens my motivation and resolve. We’re gonna make it!

[[Gr...]]

Well I like BOTH Flylady AND Marie Kondo now.  I like the idea of cleaning everything, but for me, it is more reasonable right now, to just do a little bit each day. 

Yesterday I was just TOO TIRED and in TOO MUCH PAIN to do anything of consequence.  I did notice how much I want to clean my son's room though.  Poor kid is growing up in a sea of toys and clothes right now.

 

Estee- I am modifying Marie Kondo's instructions, mostly cause I just can't commit to all the cleaning of everything right now.  With my energy level I have to do little bits at a time. 

[[tr...]]

Thank you wonderful friends, for your nice encouragement!

 

How many things, do you really have at home? Read, that in a normal family, you have about 10.000. But now it feels like 100.000. Paper, pencils, books, clothes, paper again, bed clothes and paper again!

Has a mountain of clothes on the bed, it is washed - but so creepy! Must maybe wash it again, or iron? Get tired, just think about it. It will probably not be, no.

I'm lucky, I didn`t know how long the withdrawal would take. Not even in my wildest fantasies, I thought life would be so up and down.

 

Do you live alone, or do you have a family?

[[Es...]]

Hi again, Translator. I live alone with my Kitty. I think it’s enough if you wash and dry the clothes. You’re gonna iron them when you have everything in order. You get it all like 80% done and correct it later. We have to prioritize, right. I like this picture very much. It illustrates well the relationship with our things that we should have. Both old and new. KonMari talks about it a lot. We only leave things that "spark joy". The rest we discard.

 

http://i66.tinypic.com/25ujubk.jpg

 

 

[[Gr...]]

I live with my husband, 9 year old son, and 2 cats.  We live in a tiny apartment and are moving to a much much bigger house this summer.  I am already overwhelmed with the idea of packing, even though, we haven't even looked at new places yet. 

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I like the picture too!

 

How lovely you have cats! When we lived in the country, I was "catmother", and took care of those who had no home. For a while, I had 8, one mother of course had kids. So I'm looking for a cat! Would like to have a ragdoll, they are so nice. What is the breed of your cats?

 

I don`t think it became the right word at the translation, (breed). But you might understand what I mean?

[[Es...]]

GC, maybe you could think of some reward system for your son? So that he gets rewarded each time he tidies. Some small money... Don’t really know. Ain’t got kids. I read about Steve Jobs when he was a kid. He got small money from his teacher when he did his homework. And it was hugely motivating. Well, we can see how much...

 

I’m happy my appt. isn’t bigger. I wanted a huge appt. in the past. Now I’m finally satisfied with what I’ve got. I just need to make my place as I want it to be again. I really love it.

 

Will be trying to post some motivational stuff for us here. In some spare time.

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GreenCup: I understand so well, you feel overwhelmed by all that will happen. I was also in a difficult situation after CT, my husband died, and I had to move. But with help, of good friends, it could work.

Have you been able to tell your family, and friends, how you feel? Maybe you can show them "What's happening in your brain /Parker". (the link, is in response to new members). Then, maybe they understand how hard you are, and can help you.

 

I never thought, I would do a move in the middle of all this. I understand how difficult everything feels in this situation. Perhaps, you can ask someone, to help you pack a little bit a day? If you are doing little things every day, may it feel better? Perhaps you can ask a cleaning company for help?

 

Hugs!

 

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I knew it! Now, I'm in a hellish wave, and it's worse than ever. And here I'm in the mess, it's just not true! Can hardly take me to the bathroom. Going down with junk, is completely impossible. What's this, does misery never end?

[[Ma...]]

I knew it! Now, I'm in a hellish wave, and it's worse than ever. And here I'm in the mess, it's just not true! Can hardly take me to the bathroom. Going down with junk, is completely impossible. What's this, does misery never end?

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Oh I'm sorry, just try to remember how well you've done last few days.  We're here with you

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Thank you Mary! You are really cheated during the withdrawal. Perhaps, something positive is going on? No, it only affects even harder. Benzo-flu, and here it looks like burglary. Started cleaning, but didn`t get ready. How is it going for you?

[[Gr...]]

I'm also having a terrible wave.  I have allergies and it's just hitting me SO HARD.  I don't understand how just a runny nose is bothering me SO MUCH. It's like I am the most sensitive person in the world.

 

On the cleaning front,  Translator,  thanks for mentioning the cleaning service.  We got a recommendation for one that I forgot about until you brought it up in your post.  So I went to their website to book an appointment, and, okay, so they do not supply the cleaning products.  So I just have to get that and then I can book them. 

[[Es...]]

I knew it! Now, I'm in a hellish wave, and it's worse than ever. And here I'm in the mess, it's just not true! Can hardly take me to the bathroom. Going down with junk, is completely impossible. What's this, does misery never end?

 

Translator, we have to be optimistic. Not to let this thing overwhelm us. Clutter, I mean. It’s good to make a plan for the next day. I’m done with work and will be trying to sort things out a bit. I have a strange relationship with time. I’m always acting as though it were unlimited. My days lack structure. The only structure is work. I think if we want to win with chaos, we must also become organized mentally. What do you say. Does it make sense. I mean a written plan on paper. And carrying out that plan step by step. Not just thinking vaguely about doing something. Ragdolls are very sweet and gentle. They have beautiful blue eyes. But the fur would be all over your place. Kitty’s omnipresent fur is the least of my problems ATM.

 

GC, you are brave to let someone clean your appt. I cannot even imagine it. I’m gonna do everything by myself. I also have problems with my nose, due to allergy. Cannot take antihistamine meds. They make me depressed. I only have nasal sprays and eye drops.

[[Ma...]]

Thank you Mary! You are really cheated during the withdrawal. Perhaps, something positive is going on? No, it only affects even harder. Benzo-flu, and here it looks like burglary. Started cleaning, but didn`t get ready. How is it going for you?

 

Just got back from thr pt, hurt in places, but afterward went and did a little shopping even though I didn't need anything, just wanted to feel human by getting out a little bit 

[[Es...]]

Shopping is fun, I agree. But we need to be careful not to buy stuff that would contribute to clutter. You guys have all those boxes to organize things? At least I have those. At present, I’m only buying food for myself and Kitty. Beauty products. Supplements. Absolutely nothing new for the appt. I download Amazon books on Kindle. As there is no more space for paperback books. I only buy things when they break down. Like I needed to buy a new washing machine not long ago.

 

Wanted to paste KonMari organizing tips here, but the font is not visible. Maybe I’ll find a movie. Will be looking for sth to motivate us. Not much time this week. But will be searching anyway.

[[Es...]]

Here is a great

. I’m gonna watch it now. But it’s really making me anxious. OMG, this woman has got a blog...

 

 

 

 

 

 

[[tr...]]

Another day in paradise! But I try to keep clean on the sink, and in the bathroom. The vacuum cleaner is in front of me, but has to change the bag. Just that makes me crazy! Not now, then.

That you can feel so sick, it's just not true! Benzo flu for 27 months, we beat all records! But it's just a nightmare, right? Now, I'll try to get rid of all Corn Flakes on the floor. I think.....

 

How is it going for you?

[[Gr...]]

It's taking me three days to change the sheets and clean the comforters on our bed.  I did just the pillowcases the first day. 

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You can really get mad by the weakness. Very small, and I have to go back to the couch. The body is dumb, and hurts at the same time. Hands shake. TV, books, and just everything is unpleasant. It's as if the whole world is nauseous. What's the worst for you?

[[tr...]]

On Friday I felt better, I was so happy! But the following day, the bang came with a heavy wave. Had internal vibration, pain, benzo-flu, and the body felt like a pressure cooker. I try not to complain to others, but they still understand, because I talk so very slowly. But there is an advantage of waves, everything feels better afterwards! (I must try to be positive). But after such a bang, the old common might not be so bad. If the healthy person experienced this, they might not like it. But you are so used to the fact, that life only consists of discomfort, so we are probably quite hardened.

 

So, now I have cleaned! If anyone wants to come in, they don`t have to stand in the doorway. In addition, I don`t have to worry about calling the door. What problems I have! All this is crazy, but it's just to accept.

How is it going for you?

 

 

[[Ma...]]

On Friday I felt better, I was so happy! But the following day, the bang came with a heavy wave. Had internal vibration, pain, benzo-flu, and the body felt like a pressure cooker. I try not to complain to others, but they still understand, because I talk so very slowly. But there is an advantage of waves, everything feels better afterwards! (I must try to be positive). But after such a bang, the old common might not be so bad. If the healthy person experienced this, they might not like it. But you are so used to the fact, that life only consists of discomfort, so we are probably quite hardened.

 

So, now I have cleaned! If anyone wants to come in, they don`t have to stand in the doorway. In addition, I don`t have to worry about calling the door. What problems I have! All this is crazy, but it's just to accept.

 

You are fabulous, u cleaned that entry way, that was an accomplishment!!

How is it going for you?

[[Gr...]]

I'm behind on the dishes.  Is that not the worst?  Last night's dinner dishes are still in the sink.  I'm the worst housewife ever. 

 

I was going to take care of them, but I was struck with a terrible stomach ache all day, starting from the morning and through all of lunch time.  Luckily, I was able to catch up on some television. 

 

I'm just starting to feel better now, and I'm going to have to figure out another dinner for tonight.  I swear, just figuring out meals is hard for me, these days.  I don't know how I have been feeding myself all this time. 

[[tr...]]

Today is a new day. I'm sitting on the couch and sweating, but still have a blanket on me. Can`t get dressed.  On the couch is my breakfast, Cheez doodles. So I'm looking for a normal morning, shower, dress me, and sit at the kitchen table. But now everything happens on the couch, and it looks afterwards. Life is one big joke, it's just not true. But I try to think "carpe diem". Ha!

GreenCup: It can be very tough to clean the sink, completely impossible. I look at it, and go.

 

Has anyone hit my record, a thousand banana flies in the kitchen? (I forgot a banana dish in the kitchen.)