My home is one big mess

[[Es...]]

Hi all. Came back to keep myself sane. Got tons of stuff to catch up on here.

 

Translator, it all sucks big time, I agree. Life is a joke. Just remembered that quote by Shakespeare. Goes something like this:

 

"Life... is a tale, told by an idiot. Full of sound and fury, signifying nothing."

 

Love this quote, but wouldn’t hang it on the wall. Just as I wouldn’t hang Edvard Munch’s "Scream". Although it’s one of my fav paintings. Cause guess what. We cannot give up. By giving up, we only hurt ourselves, right? And damn, we do not deserve it.

 

If I had a single banana fly in the kitchen, Kitty would go nuts. Had those mosquito nets installed a long time ago. But one thousand banana flies is quite an impressive number. How did you manage to count them?

 

Once had this colleague in the office. She kept flowerpots there. But somehow ignored the fact that the soil should be changed. So there were many little flies in our room. Great distraction, as we were all trying to kill those flies all day... But it was quite amusing. One wasn’t able to fall asleep over the keyboard. She finally had to do something about it.

 

BTW, how did you get rid of the flies? There are all kinds of insect killers. I cannot use them, cause of my Kitty. So had to organize the appt. in such a way that no insects get in.

 

A vacuum cleaner with a bag sounds like a horror story. Maybe start saving for the upright one. Really makes sense to buy it. And it lasts quite a long time.

 

Yeah, "let’s carpe the hell out of this diem" is definitely the right attitude. Those movies about the Danish fan of Marie Kondō I posted are really cool. Inspirational. She has such a cute dog, Cavalier King Charles Spaniel. Reminds me of my Kitty.

 

From what I have read here, you managed to clean yesterday. So today is just a setback.

 

I’ve been listening to KonMari a bit lately. She says to declutter all in one go. Like 3-4 days in a row. And it should be an "event". A special occasion. Cause the house is a special place. The best place on Earth. Well, the last line is mine. Okay, so now I’m just still preparing mentally.

 

Marie Kondō has got her own website. And one can watch her posts on Fb, Instagram and Twitter. I’m definitely gonna do that. I need an inspiration. I wish she had her YouTube channel.

 

GreenCup, I cannot figure out meals either. I’m just taking out what I have in the fridge/freezer. Ordering online or eating out. There is this Uber Eats app. But cooking stuff at home costs much less, for sure.

 

The worst part for me is grocery shopping. I shop online and in shopping malls. With a long shopping list. I never spend so much time cursing. Everything gets on my nerves in the shopping malls.

 

There are all those websites promoting healthy lifestyle which suggest what kind of foods to eat. I have one on my Fb page. I check it regularly for ideas.

 

You’re not the worst housewife ever. The worst housewife ever doesn’t do dishes at all. Being harsh on oneself solves nothing. It makes more sense to figure out possible solutions to problems. Progress, not perfection.

 

We’ll make it. Once there’s a group of people with the same problem. There’s a possibility to move things forward. I firmly believe it.

[[tr...]]

Estee: I also don`t want to use poison, so I use my own methods: a fly- swotter (or why not two at the same time?) and a wet towel, ha ha! Then my good neighbors would see me, when I fight in the kitchen. But if you miss one, they're two thousand after a day. But I'm completely knocked out, it feels like I've been in a marathon run. Fighting with banana flies is a tough sport!

I have a question: why does it take 15 minutes before it's messy, and ten times as long to clean the same thing? Completely incomprehensible!

[[Es...]]

I have a question: why does it take 15 minutes before it's messy, and ten times as long to clean the same thing? Completely incomprehensible!

 

It’s all about the habit of putting things away. Which we lost during BZD dependence and WD. Now we have to relearn that habit. There is a problem with motivation. I find listening to KonMari’s book quite motivating. But I’m still looking for all the possible ways to procrastinate or avoid doing stuff at home.

 

She says we need a vision. To imagine the home of our dreams. Or an ideal lifestyle we aspire to. What really hinders us is the impossibility to discard things. And that’s exactly where we should start. By discarding things from the same category first.

[[Gr...]]

 

You’re not the worst housewife ever. The worst housewife ever doesn’t do dishes at all. Being harsh on oneself solves nothing. It makes more sense to figure out possible solutions to problems. Progress, not perfection.

 

 

Estee, Thanks for these kind words.  You are so right!!!

 

Today has actually been an amazing day for cleaning and feeling okay for me.  My husband had the day off, so I asked him for 20 minutes of his time to clean our son's room together.  Well that went very well and I do feel much better about it now.  I went grocery shopping and I got grapes and bananas and lovely healthy snacks.  Yum. 

 

Translator  There's a trick for those pesky fruit flies.  I'm trying to remember what it is.  It's like you fill a glass with sugar water or vinegar and somehow you can trap them in there...    I don't remember how it works. 

 

Oh yeah.  Here ya' go.  https://www.thebalanceeveryday.com/get-rid-of-fruit-flies-1388144

 

[[tr...]]

GreenCup: Thank you for helping me, but now they're gone!

[[Aj...]]

I have a friend with ME/CFS who pays a career  to come in every couple of weeks too gradually sort out years of mess.

 

It has taken her 2 years so far but she is gradually making progress.

 

Is there any way you can do that?

 

Or maybe there is a charity that. Has people who help with general stuff and someone who would be willing to gradually help you clear up a bit?

 

I’m trying to go through all my stuff and sell everything g I don’t want on EBay to pay for accupuncture etc.

[[tr...]]

Ajusta: Now, I have very short periods when I have felt better. Then I've done as much as I've been able to, and it's been really nice. What is still difficult, is that someone will come here regularly. It makes me stressed, and of course I feel much worse. Now, I have started a schedule of cleaning and rest. I tell myself  I have to, even if the body doesn`t want to. If I am really bad, I pick up 10 things, and then go back to the sofa.

 

I usually think, now I only have 2 rooms to clean, it could be so much worse. Previously, there were 11 rooms and a garden that was like a park. Compared to earlier, this should be so much easier!  Now, I will do 10 things, and then I can rest with good conscience.

 

How is it going for you?

[[Ma...]]

Ajusta: Now, I have very short periods when I have felt better. Then I've done as much as I've been able to, and it's been really nice. What is still difficult, is that someone will come here regularly. It makes me stressed, and of course I feel much worse. Now, I have started a schedule of cleaning and rest. I tell myself  I have to, even if the body doesn`t want to. If I am really bad, I pick up 10 things, and then go back to the sofa.

 

I usually think, now I only have 2 rooms to clean, it could be so much worse. Previously, there were 11 rooms and a garden that was like a park. Compared to earlier, this should be so much easier!  Now, I will do 10 things, and then I can rest with good conscience.

 

How is it going for you?

 

Y r just rocking T 100.  Just reading what u r accomplishing is inspiring.  Yes u r inspiring, so there

[[tr...]]

Dear Mary, my friend! Thank you for your reply! You are always so kind and nice, and I love to read your posts!

I am 63 years old, but love hard rock. When I lived in the big house, I played so that the ceiling almost lifted itself. But unfortunately, I can`t do that now in my apartment. So I can put on the headphones, pick up a disk brush as a microphone, and play the air guitar. But both positive, and negative, thoughts throw me in a wave. So it must not be too often, but sometimes!

 

How are you my friend?

[[Ma...]]

Dear Mary, my friend! Thank you for your reply! You are always so kind and nice, and I love to read your posts!

I am 63 years old, but love hard rock. When I lived in the big house, I played so that the ceiling almost lifted itself. But unfortunately, I can`t do that now in my apartment. So I can put on the headphones, pick up a disk brush as a microphone, and play the air guitar. But both positive, and negative, thoughts throw me in a wave. So it must not be too often, but sometimes!

 

How are you my friend?

[/quote

 

I am ok today.  Back hurts some but not too bad.  Hoping it improves through the day

[[Gr...]]

Translator - Go You!!!  Sounds like you are doing pretty well.

 

Mary- Sorry you are not feeling so great today.

 

I cleared off my kitchen table today!  I even tried to get rid of some bags, but ended up putting them all in the keep pile so far. 

[[Aj...]]

You are doing really well.

 

Slow and steady does it.

[[tr...]]

GreenCup! Good job that cleaned the kitchen! It's always nice to wake up in the morning, and it's tidy.

 

Sometimes I'm surprised, as if a little fairy would have cleaned at night. But they certainly forgot .... I'm trying to clean the kitchen, and the bathroom. But my couch, and my coffee table, is a battlefield. How can an adult person fix this mess? But maybe I'm healthy tomorrow? No, I know I'm not, it doesn`t work like that. But sometimes you have to fool yourself!

[[Es...]]

Hi Translator & All. Plodding along. Congrats on your progress

 

Mary, hoping that back pain will fade away.

 

Translator, you’re the age of an average great rockstar. Young people don’t make awesome music like that in the 60s-90s anymore. I love rock music as well. Singing along as I listen through my wireless headphones. A two-room appt. is just enough. I wonder what you did with the things you kept in those eleven rooms.

 

A very inspirational

from our Japanese darling, Marie Kondō. I watched it all. I’m really impressed and motivated. I wish some ppl understood her method is not really about folding clothes.

 

Decluttering is rather a spiritual experience. I guess the consumer culture of the Western world made it lose the sense of what it means to own and enjoy material things. And so, we need the Eastern culture to bring it back.

[[tr...]]

Estee: Lovely, you also like rock! What are your favorites? I usually listen to Motorhead, Def Leppard, AC/DC and Marilyn Manson.

I gave away all the furniture, and bought brand new. My husband died, and there were too many memories. Everything became white, and chubby chic, but it should have been brown-green-black!

 

Interesting, that you wrote about spirituality. Right now, it's my rescue. Read a lot about esoteric knowledge, and the time between the earth's life.

[[Es...]]

Hell yeah! I love Motörhead. Lemmy was such an ass kicker. He was someone quite unique in the world of r n’r. AC/DC are very cool. Too bad Mal Young died recently, but he was sick. I like Marilyn Manson. "Sweet Dreams" is a wonderful cover. Can’t think which particular song is my fav ATM. "Beautiful People" definitely rocks. I also love listening to all those great guitar players, like Jimi Hendrix, Ed Van Halen, Keith Richards, Ritchie Blackmore, David Gilmour, Jimmy Page, Neil Young. To name but a few... Some bands I like: Guns N’Roses, The Rolling Stones, U2, Deep Purple, Led Zeppelin, Van Halen, Black Sabbath, Metallica. The latter will be playing in Stockholm this Sat. and Sunday. I chiefly listen to stuff they recorded in the 80s, when I was a kid. Lots of wonderful memories.

 

[[tr...]]

Estee: Your music taste is amazing!  All the groups, you counted up, are very good! Sure, there are a lot of memories, ha ha! When everyone liked Beatles, Rolling Stones were my favorites: "Jumping Jack Flash, Satisfaction, Brown Sugar", you know!

 

Last year, I bought a new car, a Jeep that looks like a black blank shoe box. There is a good speaker, and what bass! When I drive it, many people get annoyed, they'll probably hear me in miles. The favorite is "Bomber / Motorhead", over and over again.

 

During this time, I have heard some songs in my head, that were impossible to get rid of. It was "Rocking All Over The World / Status Quo and" Pour Some Sugar On Me / Def Leppard. I hear them for hours, even at night. Have you also had music loops?

[[Es...]]

"Sympathy for the Devil"! "Gimme Shelter"! "Wild Horses"! Keith is an absolutely awesome guitar player. They’ll be touring Europe this Spring and Summer. I love their concerts. Yeah, I prefer the Stones to the Beatles, too. I think it’s Keith’s guitar and composing skills. Rock music owes him some of the greatest riffs ever.

 

I love "Bomber"! Lemmy had this incredible husky voice. His voice was kinda different during his time with Hawkind. I guess the years of controlled drinking and smoking changed Lemmy’s voice so much for the better. And he was a very good bass player.

 

I’m listening to so many tracks during the day, it’s impossible to get any loops. I only get them when I hear some terrible pop song in a shopping mall or somewhere. Some songs there really make me want to shoot at the loudspeakers. I’m cursing and cannot believe someone actually recorded it, produced it etc. But oh well, ppl have different tastes.

 

I have these wireless Bose QuietComfort headphones. The sound is absolutely incredible. You can hear every instrument. I’ve got tons of records, but they’re all placed neatly in the drawers. I’ve been listening to Apple music on my iPad recently a lot. You can find most great tunes there. Now I’m listening to my Kitty’s snorring. Also beautiful music. The most beautiful probably

 

Hey, two rooms are just enough for you and the Ragdoll. Once you get decluttered and organized, you may start looking for a Ragdoll. Not earlier, for sure... They’re incredibly sweet. My Kitty is an Exotic Shorthair cat. A crossbreed between a Persian and an American Shorthair. Cannot imagine life without her.

[[tr...]]

Estee: You seem to be very knowledgeable in music! All the songs you mention are very good!

But I'm probably a little strange! I like both long-haired rock guys, and angels and the spirit world. When I meditate, I love New-Age-music, and then it's easy to get over to the spiritual dimensions.

 

Now, I'll try to sleep, but I'm still scared. I don`t like dark room when it's quiet. Then I get panicked, and rush up again. But I'll calm down with "Bomber!"

 

Is there anyone, who is afraid when to sleep? I hope you sleep well!

[[Ma...]]

Estee: Your music taste is amazing!  All the groups, you counted up, are very good! Sure, there are a lot of memories, ha ha! When everyone liked Beatles, Rolling Stones were my favorites: "Jumping Jack Flash, Satisfaction, Brown Sugar", you know!

 

Last year, I bought a new car, a Jeep that looks like a black blank shoe box. There is a good speaker, and what bass! When I drive it, many people get annoyed, they'll probably hear me in miles. The favorite is "Bomber / Motorhead", over and over again.

 

During this time, I have heard some songs in my head, that were impossible to get rid of. It was "Rocking All Over The World / Status Quo and" Pour Some Sugar On Me / Def Leppard. I hear them for hours, even at night. Have you also had music loops?

 

T100, 1 gotta say I did not picture u as a rock'n'roll Queen,  lol, lol, I love it

[[tr...]]

Mary, I feel like rock-grandmother, ha ha! In the garage, is my motorcycle, but just not thinking about it.

I'm not afraid to get old, it will be exciting to get "home" again. But I want to enjoy life, and do things I previously couldn`t do. I worked as a nurse, and I loved it. But life was just working, and taking care of the house and garden. This hell journey, has made me understand how important life is, and we are here to help each other. Many speak shit about each other, and dig down in the past. But it is so meaningless, and time goes on nothing. Although, life is very difficult right now, I still think, all this will be very good. We will never ever forget, how it's to be afraid of just everything, and think you'll never be good again. We will really be able to enjoy life, and from each other.

 

In addition, I've gotten in touch with you Mary, you're a wonderful friend! You are always so kind and understanding, you are amazing!

 

Today is the battlefield again, what have I done! Unfortunately, my smileys do not work, otherwise there would have been many crazy! Just that, the schedule! And where is it in this mess? No idea.

 

How are you today Mary? Love, and a BIG huge!

[[Ma...]]

Mary, I feel like rock-grandmother, ha ha! In the garage, is my motorcycle, but just not thinking about it.

I'm not afraid to get old, it will be exciting to get "home" again. But I want to enjoy life, and do things I previously couldn`t do. I worked as a nurse, and I loved it. But life was just working, and taking care of the house and garden. This hell journey, has made me understand how important life is, and we are here to help each other. Many speak shit about each other, and dig down in the past. But it is so meaningless, and time goes on nothing. Although, life is very difficult right now, I still think, all this will be very good. We will never ever forget, how it's to be afraid of just everything, and think you'll never be good again. We will really be able to enjoy life, and from each other.

 

In addition, I've gotten in touch with you Mary, you're a wonderful friend! You are always so kind and understanding, you are amazing!

 

Today is the battlefield again, what have I done! Unfortunately, my smileys do not work, otherwise there would have been many crazy! Just that, the schedule! And where is it in this mess? No idea.

 

How are you today Mary? Love, and a BIG huge!

 

I'm afraid I got up with a migraine but maybe med willl work and I will only have it few hours.  I have had migraines for 26 years, part of reason ended up on benzo's 3 years ago.  I'm so glad we all have each other, it makes all the problems just a little easier.  Get out I that garden woman, even if it's just to water.  Hope you have a better day

[[tr...]]

Mary: I've had migraine for 20 years, it could come 2-3 times a week. Now, I have not had migraines for no reason, in 7-8 years. But if something happens, for example with beloved animals, then I'll get it. I hope, with all my heart, you soon feel better!

 

I saw, you also like Battlestar Galactica, it was my rescue when it was the worst. Looking at it all day, I couldn`t stop watching. Life became so boring when it was over.

I love space war and transformers. Have you seen Stargate Atlantis, with all the wonderful wraiths? Is there a continuation on BG, I hope so!

[[Ma...]]

I'm really ashamed, but that's the truth. I don`t  usually like this, but I can`t  clean. I live alone.

 

Is it just me who has this, how are you? Do you have any tips?

 

Would a chair in the shower make u feel more secure?  If not, order some of those body wipes off Amazon and use those.....

[[Gr...]]

I love hearing about all this love for rock music.  I'm not a fan of heavy metal so much, but Rolling Stones, Led Zeppelin and the Beatles have long been some of my favorites.  I love classic rock.  I also loved Battlestar Galactica.  Great show.

 

Mary- Sorry to hear about your migraines.  I have had them as well, though I don't know if they are just caused by benzos or not.  Mine got a lot worse when I went on an AD. 

 

I'm feeling okay today but very unmotivated.