Updosing Support Group

[[Bu...]]

I haven’t decided yet whether to try and stop now or taper from 2mgs. I am worried about stopping and starting and even worse kindling but I am also worried about taking more when I get accustomed to 2mgs. Love Buddy42

[[Ol...]]

Hi Buddy,

I'm so sorry you are gong through this  How long have you been on the 2mgs of V this time? If it's short enough, maybe a faster taper would work just fine?

[[Ca...]]

I haven’t decided yet whether to try and stop now or taper from 2mgs. I am worried about stopping and starting and even worse kindling but I am also worried about taking more when I get accustomed to 2mgs. Love Buddy42

Yes, Tough call.. I know I would try to get off fast, if possible... But you seem to be rather sensitive to short term use...

I just hope that either way, it works out well for you...

 

[[Ba...]]

I posted somewhere else, maybe long term support?

Feeling so terrible and don't know what is what.

 

In nutshell, took mirtazapine short time a year and a quarter ago, got incredibly sick.  (see sig).  Had been tapering clonopin with no issue after taking it some 35 years.  Anyhow, sick ever since.

 

As an insomniac/ sleep disorder person, have juggled ambien, too.  And drs. gave me lyrica (also gabapentin if I want to take).

 

I have no support or plan, now.  I did get from klon over to valium.  But now stuck o n .08 1(by weight) valium and usually try to get by with a half or 3/4 ambien to sleep.  Was taking lyrica, half of a 75mg, sometimes 3/4, sometimes full one for apptments next day.  Not taken any for 3 days.

 

Just incredibly depressed and wish I were dead, basically.  Last few night slept but weird dreams/nightmares, trembling, fogged, despairing.

 

What to do?  I don't know.  I sure am not being able to get off these things myself but 3 drs said mirtazapine couldn't do what I know it did... it is 'out of your body' in 3 weeks.

 

Wish had someone to talk to...  alone.

[[Ol...]]

Hi Barbara, I don't have any answers but I'm so sorry to hear that you are struggling right now. It's so hard when You are bogged down and the people you are supposed to trust (Doctors) let you down so you don't even know if you can believe them or not. Everyone here can feel your pain and is here to support you. Just remember that even though it feels dark right now it won't always be this way. Hang in there.

[[Ca...]]

Hey Barb,

Wishing you strength as you fight to get better...

A good plan on how to proceed would be helpful..

Even if you have to change or adjust it later...

As a general guid, I often say a Slow Symptom based taper, -with holds if needed...

Perhaps daily liquid micro tapering might interest you..

 

[[NJ...]]

Just found this thread. Lots of my long hold buddies seem to be on this. Barbara, you and I keep bumping into each other. I think we are both in a not great place.

 

I had another awful night last night and feel myself coming unhinged. The nausea is insane and I am not sure how much more of this I can take. I have been at the same dose for almost two months with no real stability. I have to consider an updose but am afraid how far I am going to need to updose. And then what? I don't know.  I cannot do this anymore. I have been mostly sick for this two year taper, I push through every damn day to go to work, be a good mom to my boys, to try to keep it together for my husband, but I just cannot push any more. I need to feel good consistently. I am really worried how to get to the place of stability ... I really don't want more benzo to be an answer, but then what is the answer?

 

And these two years have been hard ... grieving for my father, sending my son to college, my mom has Parkinson's and is declining, just changed jobs which I feel was a huge misjudgment on my part, thinking I could do this in this shape.

 

My therapist is worried about me, she really feels I need to do something with medication. My sister said she keeps reading about how people cannot get off benzos, I know she is worried about me. I am really, really worried about the dark place I am sliding into with the depression.

 

Gotta go pull myself together, shower and somehow make it through another day. It is raining like crazy here and I suspect I am going to have to spend a lot of time commuting as the roads are all flooded.

[[Ca...]]

It would be great if u could hold it out...(but there are other options) Will it help to mention that things are not so liniar while holding... For me things usually got worse right before they got better, usually 2-3months into a hold...

A very hard position with work and family... But we get through one way or the other..  stdp by step...

Best wishes...

 

 

[[NJ...]]

Thanks cant.

 

I think I am going to be sick to my stomach today at work. I have never gotten sick at work before. Such a tough place to be in.

[[Ca...]]

Thanks cant.

 

I think I am going to be sick to my stomach today at work. I have never gotten sick at work before. Such a tough place to be in.

How would u describe the base cause of it?? Do u actually vomit much.. -which can feel worse not throwing up..!!

 

[[NJ...]]

Thanks cant.

 

I think I am going to be sick to my stomach today at work. I have never gotten sick at work before. Such a tough place to be in.

How would u describe the base cause of it?? Do u actually vomit much.. -which can feel worse not throwing up..!!

 

I don't get sick that much but today almost did in the car. It is definitely from the taper, worsened today by lack of sleep. Holding on by a thread, but at least holding on.

[[Ba...]]

NJ, we do keep bumping.  Maybe we are clumsy? haha.

 

Have you changed brands of anything?  I ask cuz I realize my Ambien not working and... it is Teva, terrible brand by what I can find.  So it may be worthless and therefore causing issues I had not thought of.

 

Second--  Remeron about did me in.  I went into acute with it after just 6 weeks, low dose.  Jumped off.  Bedridden with physical and mental issues.  Worst of the worst for me.  I can't imagine worse.  And have several time met people taking benzo and remeron who seem to get horrible problems. 

 

With all you are doing maybe this NOT the time for you to "push through."  I'd lost both parents, found out relative a sociopath stealing money,  now no family at all.  So such stresses with being sick really bad news.

 

Oh, I also had the nausea and bloating and bouncing feeling and vibrations and no sleep.

 

All good fun.  NOT.

[[Ol...]]

Really feeling for you NJ. I suffer with the same problems but I do not have a child or job currently. I can't imagine. My mom asked how I was feeling this morning and all I could say is 'dejected'. Sending love 

[[Ba...]]

I notice not much posting here lately so will say hi to all and hope you all are doing well, or at least sorta well.  Or at least not awful.

 

Also want to reflect on my 'story' a bit, fwiw.  ... except I thought I had it saved and don't.  So, maybe later.  Is there one spot to best post one's story?  Or you just find a likely group, but it in?

 

Thanks, guys.

[[Ol...]]

I notice not much posting here lately so will say hi to all and hope you all are doing well, or at least sorta well.  Or at least not awful.

 

Also want to reflect on my 'story' a bit, fwiw.  ... except I thought I had it saved and don't.  So, maybe later.  Is there one spot to best post one's story?  Or you just find a likely group, but it in?

 

Thanks, guys.

 

Do you have a blog? You could start one with your story! 

[[Ba...]]

Uh, no.  Don't have one and actually have not read any...?  hmmm.

[[Ma...]]

Barbara - if you go to the home page it will show you all the BB community forum groups and threads.  Scroll down and you’ll see one called ‘Buddie Blogs’ - all the blogs are there. 

 

And if you want to find your introductory post go to your Profile (an easy way is to click on your name) - on the left hand side you’ll see ‘Show Posts’ and if you click on that you’ll see all the messages you’ve left on the forum - you can scroll through and see if there’s one which tells your story.

 

To start a Blog, just go to the Buddie Blogs group and start a new thread like you would do in any other group.   

 

Any problems just ask!

[[Ca...]]

...and then let us know, so we can read it..!! Lol

Some post a "link" under our "sig"...

All the best...

 

I seem to be getting stable.. -stress is NOT good...!!

 

[[de...]]

Cantfly and other BBs on this thread --

 

Are there any "guidelines" to updosing?  As in percentage to updose, when most beneficial to updose, etc.

 

From what I've read, updosing can be as unpredictable as anything, including holding, at least while things settle down, such that some feel better from updosing and others don't. 

 

I'd research this myself more, as I'm considering a small updose for my mother, but am short on time at the moment, between taking care of Mum and making my way through >1400 pages of the LHSG thread (did 150 pages so far ), so I would VERY MUCH APPRECIATE any help on my question.  THANK YOU! 

[[Ol...]]

Hey Delta, There are no rules for updosing and everyone is different of course, but what I usually do is go back up to the last dose that I felt stable at. I mean, bearable at least! I hope it works out for your mom! Cutting too quickly can be a real nightmare.

[[de...]]

Hey Delta, There are no rules for updosing and everyone is different of course, but what I usually do is go back up to the last dose that I felt stable at. I mean, bearable at least! I hope it works out for your mom! Cutting too quickly can be a real nightmare.

 

Thanks for replying, OliveKitty.  I wish it were simply that, going back to the last dose when Mum felt relatively stable, but we really don't know of such a dose because her situation was complicated by a Prozac c/t that was then "treated" with Xanax, so she was continuously suffering symptoms. 

 

So I looked at when her latest "newest" symptom appeared, and that seemed to be when we cut from 1.5mg Xanax in January.  Right now she's at 1mg Xanax (in partial crossover to Valium, but we'll just consider Xanax here).  I'm considering a 0.1mg increase, a 10% increase in Xanax, but wondering if that'll be any help at all.  But sort of wary of going all the way back up to 1.5mg Xanax or above.  Very frustrating. 

[[Ol...]]

Ugh I know it can all be so confusing when there are so many unknown factors. What about going up to 1.25X? That seems like a happy medium and I think it will make a difference.

[[Ca...]]

Delta, January Could be about right..??

I think the important thing is to look at past histoty.. be it last main SX or last stable dose...

Just put all the info on the table and see what fits.. Known healing times are important too..

 

Sadly sometimes we dont have this info, or other factors dominate or confuse situations and decisions... I know there were times I changed things to see what the reaction was...

 

You are doing the right thing gathering info and when you come to a decision it will be valid...

I know this was discussed on lhsg roughly a year ago, perhaps around the time this group started... perhaps on the main boards too..??

 

All the best...

 

 

[Guest [...]]

Hi all 

 

 

I've started a support  as there's is quiet a few of us on here that have had to up-dosed or recently, or are seriously  considering it, and other than posting all over the forum there's no actual support for those of us who have actually done it, or want to try it. And  If you do post regarding up-dosing your more likely to get frighted off by  people who haven't tried it giving negative replies out of fear of what they've read with no actual personal experience, or they did it as a one off and it never worked.

 

 

Or they took a tiny insignificant dose that would never had worked as it was way too low to be of any help.  I up-dosed just over 10 weeks ago and am still cycling with symptoms. People also need to know that  as it can commonly  take anything  from a few weeks up to a few months to stabilise. Its not often you get relief in a matter of days, and most people don't hold the up-dose long enough for it to work, and some peole will actually feel worse before they feel better that's another common factor.

 

 

And sometimes you may feel your going backwards before you establish stability too, you have to have patience and hang in there. I've had some oh my God WTF !! days then the next, day has been really good, as  its not linear while you wait to stabilise, it still shocks me how things can turn around for no logical reason I can find anyway.

 

 

And you will still get waves  before you stabilise, that's another reason people think the updose has gone wrong as they expect instant stability or at the very  least 3 days then it should  work. That not true, in most cases it takes a longer time time, I was I a mess at  3.45mg and barely surviving  struggling to get under 4mg for the last 2 years and couldn't taper no more so up-dosed back to 5mg where I was last in January 2015, on November 19th 2016.

 

 

 

My original dose was 20mg and it took me along time to get down from there as I was also taken CT off other Benzos and high doses of all sorts of poly drugs. I'm having some good, bad, okay and hell days still so I'm not stabilised yet so will continue holding here, if I feel in a few months I need to updose again I will do so, If I feel I am able to cut then I will cut. I've been housebound in agony for most of the last two years, so I had to change tactics. I hope this group will be of help to sort out the myths, repeated fear with no substance, except people who get scared to try anything different to help their self  by what they read.

 

 

 

I myself fell into that camp before I decided to be the master of my own fate and that if I didn't try I would never know what will or won't help me, there is no one size fits all or any guarantees about anything in life, and we can't gage ourselves by others. Everything and anything is maybe it will or won't work for us situation but only we can know that by trying it for ourselves.

 

 

I am not putting myself forward as some expert,  I no no more or less than anyone else I'm  just another soul trying to find their way out of the suffering we're all going through, and I've chosen to updose. I live alone with no help or support and if I can't function then I can't survive, I'm hoping for at least 30% better or more than I am now. I can cope with discomfort, but I can't cope with being physically and mentally disabled any longer and do nothing to try make it better, I know it takes time but it takes trying something too if you possibly can at anytime.

 

Love Nova xxx    :smitten:

 

This probably one of the most important posts I've seen on BB.

Staz

[Guest [...]]

Read this please.

http://www.benzobuddies.org/forum/index.php?topic=165415.0