Updosing Support Group

[[Ca...]]

If your total daily dose isnt different and you just took it early its really just an experiment!

 

Thanks kitty , that's a nice way of putting it! After a very rough start to the day and panicking , the afternoon eased a little , still fragile , but a little better , so I guess I'll call it an experiment and neither an updose nor a rescue dose , as I'm  Only taking my usual total for the day now .

MiYu 

Sorry Miyu, thanks Kitty...

yes just a little time shuffle... perhaps you will sleep through any slight blip later tonight (well, about now, i guess).. But personally I wouldnt expect to feel anything noticable... I would assume it to be fast metabolism, if you do...

But if so, you would/should be back on track after this mornings dose anyway...

 

Am sorry things are so rough for you... I am hoping to see that improvment any day...

Maybe consider this that "shock treatment" we mentioned a few days ago... -change the state of play..!!

Pls do let me know how it (hopefully non event) goes...

 

 

[[...]]

If your total daily dose isnt different and you just took it early its really just an experiment!

 

Thanks kitty , that's a nice way of putting it! After a very rough start to the day and panicking , the afternoon eased a little , still fragile , but a little better , so I guess I'll call it an experiment and neither an updose nor a rescue dose , as I'm  Only taking my usual total for the day now .

MiYu 

Sorry Miyu, thanks Kitty...

yes just a little time shuffle... perhaps you will sleep through any slight blip later tonight (well, about now, i guess).. But personally I wouldnt expect to feel anything noticable... I would assume it to be fast metabolism, if you do...

But if so, you would/should be back on track after this mornings dose anyway...

 

Am sorry things are so rough for you... I am hoping to see that improvment any day...

Maybe consider this that "shock treatment" we mentioned a few days ago... -change the state of play..!!

Pls do let me know how it (hopefully non event) goes...

 

Thank you Cant.....ugh ... Another day..... Seems like it did turn into a blip , a non event . I was just in panic mode , sometimes so hard to avoid when things get really rocky.

Feeling pretty tired of this ordeal at the moment , need to work on the acceptance , but soemtimes when the symptoms are so unrelenting it just gets to be ,well you know , f**k this .......

 

When I took my lunch dose yesterday I had a huge adrenaline / cortisol rush , like a shock , took my breath away for a while . Horrible symptom .... I get them every morning now and it's very uncomfortable . Weird how sometimes taking the benzo will calm it down and other times seems to actually MAKE them happen ....

 

Anyway ...... In long hold mode in the hopes that somehow my body will find homeostasis .

 

How a re you doing? Has your update helped ? I hope so .

Thank you for your kindness as always ,

MiYu

[[Ca...]]

If your total daily dose isnt different and you just took it early its really just an experiment!

 

Thanks kitty , that's a nice way of putting it! After a very rough start to the day and panicking , the afternoon eased a little , still fragile , but a little better , so I guess I'll call it an experiment and neither an updose nor a rescue dose , as I'm  Only taking my usual total for the day now .

MiYu 

Sorry Miyu, thanks Kitty...

yes just a little time shuffle... perhaps you will sleep through any slight blip later tonight (well, about now, i guess).. But personally I wouldnt expect to feel anything noticable... I would assume it to be fast metabolism, if you do...

But if so, you would/should be back on track after this mornings dose anyway...

 

Am sorry things are so rough for you... I am hoping to see that improvment any day...

Maybe consider this that "shock treatment" we mentioned a few days ago... -change the state of play..!!

Pls do let me know how it (hopefully non event) goes...

 

Thank you Cant.....ugh ... Another day..... Seems like it did turn into a blip , a non event . I was just in panic mode , sometimes so hard to avoid when things get really rocky.

Feeling pretty tired of this ordeal at the moment , need to work on the acceptance , but soemtimes when the symptoms are so unrelenting it just gets to be ,well you know , f**k this .......

 

When I took my lunch dose yesterday I had a huge adrenaline / cortisol rush , like a shock , took my breath away for a while . Horrible symptom .... I get them every morning now and it's very uncomfortable . Weird how sometimes taking the benzo will calm it down and other times seems to actually MAKE them happen ....

 

Anyway ...... In long hold mode in the hopes that somehow my body will find homeostasis .

 

How a re you doing? Has your update helped ? I hope so .

Thank you for your kindness as always ,

MiYu

you are doing well, sometimes it is too much for a bit and we have to blow some steam and reset... -wish there were better answers for those of you that get it extra hard...

I have only had one real big rush after dosing, -when I was very unstable after a huge day of exercise around new years... not nice at all...

Just keep nursing yourself through, good food, gentle exercise and plenty of rest...

 

Im doing ok, the updose stopped the decline, and I can hold here if all goes well..

Insomnia, -day photo/audio sensitivity (cortisol and fatigue)

I just cant function with the light, have to black out my eyes to even sleep... lol

Small signs of healing though... Its just knowing where to look..!!

Might be a long hold, this one...!!

 

Hang in there...

 

 

[[...]]

Thanks Cant.....

I just had a melt down , posted in the LHSG ......tired of being sick and tired .

Yes, kind of been feeling like I'm going to explode from being patient with this whole thing and no breaks ....

 

Sorry about your sensitivity ... I have that to sound and heat, not to light though.

 

Hmm knowing where to look for healing , that's a novel  concept .....

 

Will see what I can find .

 

MiYu

[Guest [Fu...]]

I'm strongly considering updosing to 3 mg's of Klonopin in an attempt to get some sort of stability and I would really appreciate it if someone here would tell me they've had positive experiences with updosing because all I'm hearing on the other forums are how kindled and screwed I'll become and it's making my head hurt regarding making this decision. I can't keep micotapering feeling as sick as I do and being as nonfunctional as I am with no quality of life.

[[Ca...]]

I'm strongly considering updosing to 3 mg's of Klonopin in an attempt to gey some sort of stability and I would really appreciate it if someone here would tell me they've had positive experiences with updosing because all I'm hearing on the other forums are how kindled and screwed I'll become and it's making my head hurt regarding making this decision. I can't keep micotapering feeling as sick as I do and being as nonfunctional as I am with no quality of life.

Hey FuzzyD, Sorry you have to even consider these things...

I have only done much smaller Updosing, so not comparitive really...

dm123 has been writing about kindeling on Chewing The Fat -Terry38? -Explain in laymens terms post... Bit heavy going though (science)... But it might be worth posing the question there... sing out if you want a link...

Personally, while every bit of stability is good, I think its more as needed, fluctuating, and regular stop start dosing thats the big problem with kindling, as opposed to a one or two time complete restructuring of a taper... But im far from expert...

Miyu, in a sorta similar position is going back to her original medication, I think...

And Nova mentioned a while back that she was looking at a big updose..??

I guess the problem is the uncertainty of it all..

 

I hope others chip in with more solid info and experiences...

 

Wishing you every strength...

 

[Guest [Fu...]]

Yes the uncertainty is making this a very difficult decision that I'm really struggling with.

[[...]]

Yes the uncertainty is making this a very difficult decision that I'm really struggling with.

 

Hi FD ,

Have you been in contact with the buddie tNTD at all? She's in klonopin , I'm not sure how long she's been on , but I think she's been through some ups a nd downs .

I know it's really rough ... For  me too right now . We'll get through this ,

Hugs

MiYu

 

[Guest [Fu...]]

Hi MiYu,

 

I have spoken to TNTD in the past but it's been a while. I'm sorry you went through such a difficult Valium crossover. If I'm reading your sig right it looks like you completed it though which I commend you for having the strength to do because I was psychotic after about 3 days and I just could not take it anymore. I think I had it in my head that since the Ashton Manual recommends it that it would be "smooth" and had no idea that so many people have such a terrible time with it. I honestly wish I had never even tried Valium as I think that whole experience was a major setback that I'm still feeling the effects from. It's just like everytime I try to do something that I think will help me feel better or stabilize a bit I end up feeling infinitely worse. It's so beyond frustrating, this whole experience is. But I don't have to tell you that! I just feel like I need to chill my CNS and my brain out for a little bit after all these changes and probably shouldn't have tried to do a microtaper, even going as slow as I did, last month from a place of pretty much bedbound non-functionality.

[[...]]

Hi MiYu,

 

I have spoken to TNTD in the past but it's been a while. I'm sorry you went through such a difficult Valium crossover. If I'm reading your sig right it looks like you completed it though which I commend you for having the strength to do because I was psychotic after about 3 days and I just could not take it anymore. I think I had it in my head that since the Ashton Manual recommends it that it would be "smooth" and had no idea that so many people have such a terrible time with it. I honestly wish I had never even tried Valium as I think that whole experience was a major setback that I'm still feeling the effects from. It's just like everytime I try to do something that I think will help me feel better or stabilize a bit I end up feeling infinitely worse. It's so beyond frustrating, this whole experience is. But I don't have to tell you that! I just feel like I need to chill my CNS and my brain out for a little bit after all these changes and probably shouldn't have tried to do a microtaper, even going as slow as I did, last month from a place of pretty much bedbound non-functionality.

 

I'm with you FD on trying to find some stability ......

I've been nonfunctional for three months pretty much ,a nd actually a lot longer than that since I crossed to V . I had a month when I was better afte the K cross, but I probably still had K in my system .

Since then my taper has been awful.

So I'm back to K .

 

There's a woman called healing seeker who has been having an awful time , I think she's on Ativan , she just had a bit of a window yesterday after many posts I've read saying how sick she's been . It's possible . She's been holding her taper .

This is what I'm praying for , that I'll be able to get stable on K and the try again , but not for a while.....probably will hold til the end of the year and give my CNS some time .

 

A bit scared how I'm going to feel as the V leaves , hoping I won't get bad WDs . But it was making me feel so awful I'm glad it's going ......

 

We will get through this ! Hang in there ,

MiYu

[Guest [Fu...]]

Sounds like we're in somewhat similar positions just needing time for our CNS to heal after bad experiences with V (amongst other things for me). I think we will get there we just have the weather the storm for now and cope as best we can. Hopefully soon! Stay strong, we got this.

[[...]]

Sounds like we're in somewhat similar positions just needing time for our CNS to heal after bad experiences with V (amongst other things for me). I think we will get there we just have the weather the storm for now and cope as best we can. Hopefully soon! Stay strong, we got this.

 

 

[[Ge...]]

ugh a week of mass freak out in Florida and my ears are screaming...  reminds me of how fragile my CNS sill is...  sigh

[[...]]

ugh a week of mass freak out in Florida and my ears are screaming...  reminds me of how fragile my CNS sill is...  sigh

 

Sorry George 

 

I hope things settle down for you , it's awful how revved up we get so very easily .

Love, MiYu 

[[...]]

Sounds like we're in somewhat similar positions just needing time for our CNS to heal after bad experiences with V (amongst other things for me). I think we will get there we just have the weather the storm for now and cope as best we can. Hopefully soon! Stay strong, we got this.

 

How are you doing FD? Any better?

I'm having a very rough time .... I don't know how long to wait to see if I can stabilize on the K . Maybe it's possible to reach some kind of stability for the nervous system even if in tolerance ?

That's what I'm hoping, even tho I don't know if im in tolerance , what I do know is my nervous sytem is really crazy right now..... Probably from the cross to K .

 

Anyway , let me know how you are ....why don't you stop in at the klonopin Klub group when you feel up to it , I hope you're hanging in there ..... I know its rough

MiYu

 

[Guest [Fu...]]

Yeah, I'm having a really rough time. I wake up in extreme terror every day and it never really goes away. My CNS is also just so screwed up I desperately want to stabilize but I don't know if it's possible. I feel like I'm reaching some terrifying breaking point but I don't really have any options. I feel like I have to be in tolerance because when I updosed for a few days I got absolutely no relief whatsoever. This whole process is such a nightmare. I was so scared earlier I just curled up under the covers and went to bed at 7:30 so now it's past midnight and I'm wide awake. I did very light yoga in bed and then I couldn't walk and I ate dinner with my parents but nothing seemed real because of the depersonalization so I just couldn't take it anymore. I don't know how long I can exist in this state. What are we supposed to do if we're in tolerance? It seems like we can't cold turkey or rapid taper but a long microtaper seems impossible too. I don't know what to do.

[[La...]]

extremely rough time here too,

 

My sister was on 1/11 of .5 Ativan pill for 5 1/2 months (long hold for first time b/c symptoms kept rolling in); we were managing

 

 

Cut 2 weeks ago, and things are really bad, akathisia in morning and evenings. We are thinking of going back to the previous level of 1/11, but we have never done this before and don't know if it will work to calm things for her

 

 

[[...]]

Yeah, I'm having a really rough time. I wake up in extreme terror every day and it never really goes away. My CNS is also just so screwed up I desperately want to stabilize but I don't know if it's possible. I feel like I'm reaching some terrifying breaking point but I don't really have any options. I feel like I have to be in tolerance because when I updosed for a few days I got absolutely no relief whatsoever. This whole process is such a nightmare. I was so scared earlier I just curled up under the covers and went to bed at 7:30 so now it's past midnight and I'm wide awake. I did very light yoga in bed and then I couldn't walk and I ate dinner with my parents but nothing seemed real because of the depersonalization so I just couldn't take it anymore. I don't know how long I can exist in this state. What are we supposed to do if we're in tolerance? It seems like we can't cold turkey or rapid taper but a long microtaper seems impossible too. I don't know what to do.

 

I'm sorry FD .... I am the same , I'm so fragile I feel I could snap . I have to give holding a bit of a try as I only just changed meds .... K isn't working the way it did when I was on it the first time tho .

 

Could be the V WD , I don't know. Anyway , I feel really bad too . I can't even see people my nervous system is so sensitized .

Sometimes people report improvements when tapering even from tolerance , how long have you been holding ? I also feel updosing isn't an option and wouldn't work right now . Too many changes already.

 

We need a break ...... May it come . Just remember , one day at a time and we will get through this and heal eventually .

MiYu

[Guest [Fu...]]

I've only been holding for a very short while but yeah my CNS is so fragile too. I can't even sit down and have dinner with my parents. I'm very scared.

[[Ca...]]

Hi Guys..!!

 

There have been several enquiries about updosing around the site of late, so I dug this group up for a place to discuss aspects of UpDosing, Dose Correction, and Rescue Doses...

 

I Did a chunky cut n hold by pill splitting... Each cut needed roughly 3months hold for stability, and I often had to use these tools to get through or cushion the reductions..

Even at low dose a 50% cut sure has a kick..

 

Anyways, here we are at 0.25V a day... Jumping from 0.5V didnt work so well...

 

Cheers...

 

[[de...]]

Didn't even know this thread existed!  Thanks for digging it up, Cantfly ...cantspell...cantthink...cantremember (this part made me laugh, so double thanks)! 

[[Ol...]]

Interesting, I definitely want to follow this group. Thanks for digging it up Cant! I would be interested to hear from people who have already jumped but taken rescue doses. What has worked or not worked about it for you? No judgement here, I would love to know your honest opinion. 

[[Ca...]]

Didn't even know this thread existed!  Thanks for digging it up, Cantfly ...cantspell...cantthink...cantremember (this part made me laugh, so double thanks)!

lol Delta... -glad to be of assistance..

Laugh, Chat, Cry... its all good for us, So lets not hold back here either..!!

 

The Class Clown..

 

Hi OliveK.. (is Ok, ok??)

 

Well my day sure changed...

One minute I was at home with flu stuff, half dying..

Then had to go to town for parts, lucky i was feeling a little better..

Then on my way home I collected 2 extra teenagers who seem to be allergic to shower water..

And I was still shopping at 9pm as they shut...

 

My point.. about 5pm I started to shake and go weak, and my head started to compress... I was going to do an epic parenting fail, so I had to fix... I use another med for things like this, and have for a long time.. For me 75mg of (lyrica, -what is not the point), saved the day...

By knowing I can do this, I feel I can push my taper or cut sizes, just that little bit more, without coming undone... This is my trade off that allows me to be a full time single parent..

(Lyrica is one of my pre benzo meds for occasional nerve pain).

I guess this is a version of a rescue dose..

Just thought i would share..

 

My Best to Everyone...

 

[[Bu...]]

I have had to do a massive updose. I was abstinent for 5 years and then we had a sudden death in the family. I took valarian root for a week was all over the place so now am back on 2mgs of Valium and 20mgs of propranonol. Feel terrible. Thank you for this thread.

[[Ca...]]

I have had to do a massive updose. I was abstinent for 5 years and then we had a sudden death in the family. I took valarian root for a week was all over the place so now am back on 2mgs of Valium and 20mgs of propranonol. Feel terrible. Thank you for this thread.

Hi Buddy... -its been a long road for you..!!

Sorry that you have had to return this way...

I was also fairly short term on any real dose of V... It sure gets its hooks in..!!

How are you going with a plan to move forward from here??

Best wishes...