Post Benzo Freedom Withdrawal Support Group

[[ro...]]

Hi Ginger:

 

I do hope you pull out of this darn blasted wave soon!!  I can imagine how this sets you back and one starts to wonder if this could rear its ugly head out of the blue (including being months and years off!) when one thikss they are healed.    :idiot:

 

None of us knew what we were in for when we took that first benzo.  It is a very slow process that ebbs and flows like none other. 

 

Please hang in there everyone!  This stuff can throw one off kilter and then it's back to forward progress again.  But forward is where we are heading!

 

Best regards,

Rocko

[[ih...]]

Hi Ginger, sorry you feel that you are not being supported, it's true this thread has gone quiet without Vertigo, which probably deters people from posting, if they think no-one will respond.

 

I haven't been so great myself the last few days, still seem to be suffering from antibiotic side effects & stressing over what to do about my exams. I wanted to think I had got lucky this time round & healed a lot by only week 12 but reality has struck & I just don't yet have the capacity I need to perform well enough in my studies.

 

I'm glad your hubby has seen some light, even if it's late in the day. Do you feel that he will be able to offer you more support now?

 

I am happy to chat on this thread when I'm online.

[[ro...]]

Hi Ginger:

 

Yes, you are a VIP in our benzo world!   I do hope you see the good days come back full force -- I've read all your posts.  I know you have struggled with post healing for a long time.  And your words of "acceptance and accommodation" have been ringing loud and clear to me.  Thank you for being a mainstay now that Vertigo has moved on.  I know you will move on one day too and your words of caring and wisdom are sooooo appreciated!!

 

I am doing pretty good.  I made the huge mistake of taking melatonin again  in June - Sept. and that made things much worse for me.  I am feeling my old self once again, and appreciate all the things life has to offer.  I think the melatonin backfires on me and causes more restlessness and depression than anything. 

 

Ihope:  What are you studying?  Will you be able to continue?  Sounds like you are one determined benzo warrior and I applaud you for your courage!!  Please hang in there -- you are doing VERY WELL!!  Post on this thread when the going gets rough -- we're here to help you!!

Best regards to all,

Rocko

[[ih...]]

Thanks, Rocko, determined yes, realistic, maybe not so much but haven't yet abandoned all hope of saving the semester. Have thrown myself at the mercy of the varsity course heads for an extension so should know soon. Am doing a Masters in Public Health, Nutrition major. Problem is this semester is all statistical modelling & my benzo fogged brain is getting stressed out by the software.

 

Glad you are doing well. interesting about your melatonin experience, whenever I have tried it, it didn't help at all with insomnia but left me feeling noticeably depressed the next day.

 

Ginger, so sorry about your dilemma with the vaccination. Since presumably, you are not around other small children a lot, maybe your DIL will accept that you pose a slight risk of whooping cough transmission. How exciting to have 2 grandbabies on the way.

 

It seems as though you have realistic expectations of your husband. My husband is a terrible patient & gets demoralised with his his own ilnesses very quickly but can't understand how tough it is to have these random sx that come & go, without warning.

 

Extra thoughts to anyone in the major storm zones.

[[sh...]]

Ginger, I felt like I was writing your post on how you feel.  I too did a 6 week taper off of .5 of K.  I can[t say I ever felt 90 % except maybe 6 windows that lasted a day.  October 20 2009 I took my last piece of K.  I had a beautiful one month ago where I even slept through the entire night.  After that window left things got the worst they have ever been.  I seem to have extreme symptoms with no breaks.  The anxiety is so severe I don't leave my bedroom anymore.  I spend my nights pacing and my days trying to read.  I too am hanging onto the fact that this wave being so bad is a good sign in reading Bliss Johns book there are several success stories in there who are 3 years out and they talk about getting hit with a very severe wave at the end.  I have to believe this or I would never get through this wave.  I am praying that it will lift before the holidays.  I was so happy to read your post and know that I am not alone. 

 

Thinking of you  Sharil

[[pr...]]

Hi Sharil,

isn't that so strange  that happens... i too had a few windows at 2 months from this horrible cold turkey and have been in a wave ever since!

but last night and tonight i am finally lifting out of things a little bit for the first time since last July/2012. but still have a long ways to go. i really feel like i blew out a portion of my brains and it's localised on the left side and i am having mostly left side symptoms.  a new symptoms that is the most excuriating pain ever is when my brain is doing this certain pressure/pounding thing my left foot and the heel will burn and crush and squeeze. i have this huge tomato red mark by my heel.

 

i was wondering where you got your Bliss Jones book? i really want one but i could not find any that were not over hundred dollars.

i really hope a window pops up for you soon--i live my life looking forward to a window and i usually get some relief if i've slept for more than 2 hours straight. i wake up out of that kinda having a window and then boom, there  goes my brain.

pretty

[[sh...]]

The email for Bliss Johns book is mailto:gcburns55@aol.com she is in Mass and a very nice person.  She can help you with any number of books on Benzo withdrawal.  She has been through this process and is a nice resource for books.

 

Good luck in your recovery, it will happen

Sharil

[[sa...]]

If Im not mistaken, this is her updated version at only $16  from her website.

 

http://recovery-road.org/benzo-wise-book-reviews/

 

 

[[pr...]]

Sharil,

thank you for that email.is that Bliss's email or someone elses?

i emailed Bliss at an email another BB gave to me but have not heard back from anyone.

do you happen to know how to be in touch with Bliss?

been trying for a really long time now.

 

Sarah, thank you for the link!

pretty

[[sh...]]

G, thanks glad things have lifted a little bit.  Read Ryans success story and he talks about his worst wave ever right before healing.  seems to be a pretty constant thing among those that have reached the other side.  So we will carry each other through this very tough time and hopefully we can celebrate soon.  I often think there should be a big party for benzo survivors somewhere.  Wouldn't if be grand to put a face to all the people who have helped us through this nightmare

 

Sharil

[[sh...]]

Pretty daisy, that is the email address for Geraldine Burns, she has all kinds of books to help with benzo withdrawal.

 

Sharil

[[ro...]]

Hi Ginger:

 

Very happy to hear you are doing better!  Maybe big healing steps are occurring and a huge window will stay open forever! 

 

Congrats on becoming a new granma too.  It is an exciting time and one wants to be at optimal capacity to help out.  I care for my 13 month old granbaby one day a week and it can be quite trying after 2-3 hrs. of sleep the nite before.  Nite before last, I got in 2 hrs. sleep, and next day had a riding lesson and hosted dinner for some friends of ours last nite.  I feel like a sleepless soldier at times!! 

 

I think this whole healing process gets more difficult the longer out we are.  Psychologically, we are just fried from it all but it keeps on coming.

 

Sharil:

 

I am so sorry to hear of your latest wave.  I hope this latest wave ends once and for all for you.  I can't imagine being filled with anxiety to the degree that it makes one  homebound for a period of time.  I hope this is the end of the storm for you and only windows for you from here out. 

 

Ihope:

 

Oh, so proud of you for pushing your academic dreams to great heights.  I can imagine that statistical modeling is one very tough class to get through.  Your Masters degree will open so many doors for you.  Kudos to you for pushing onward!!

 

Best regards to all the post benzo peeps!!  We are making it through the nitemare of our lives!

Rocko

 

 

[[to...]]

Anybody read the book of Bliss jones know how long did it take her to recover?

[[to...]]

Any suggested food diet, I guess I am still sensetive to food still after 2 years, I just eat healthy avoiding preservative, salt, even sugar in fruits gives me anxiety, try to go on proteins and complex carbs and vegtables, any suggestions, things get better recovery is real from this, I can tolerate things more every month rest assure we all heal

[[Ne...]]

FYI..FYI...

 

When this thread looked like it was winding down, and still wondering why a "protracted" support group was necessary, I started the PAWS/Post or Protracted Support Group...thinking that consolidating the two would be beneficial...maybe instead I muddied things up???  Maybe it is my PostBenzo brain craving reorganization...

In any case, if anyone wants to contribute to that thread, please do so...at least have a look...New Life

[[pr...]]

Tommy,

fruits, sugars can rev you up. i think so can wheat, at least for me wheat brings me down and a bad tired.

i think that during a benzo w/d there is something to what Chinese Medicine called 'dampness' so i like a lot of soups, broth's, lightly steamed veggies, rice, sweet potato for something sweet and almond butter w/ tiny bit manuka honey on sourdough.

i just think a long with a benzo w/d there are a lot of food sensitivities and intolerances.

a lot fo cultured foods and kefir's are good to eat to restore the inner eco system.

i've heard of this one person on here going on a diet called the GAPS by Dr. Campbell-McBride which i will definitely be checking out and checking in to, oh yeah!http://www.sherv.net/cm/emoticons/playful/funny-burger-wagging-long-tongue-smiley-emoticon.gif

 

here is a link to GAPS [nobbc]http://gapsdiet.com/[/nobbc]

 

 

Edit: Deactivated commercial link

[[to...]]

Hi there, thanks for your comment of diet, but gaps diet have thing I still avoid, like dairy and some fruits, plus nuts, ate nuts last week and didn't feel good in my stomach, I eat fish - chicken breasts - turkey - eggs - whole grain rice and pasta - some banana - and tried some dried fruits and it was ok but when I continued on them I didn't felt good, sound like I overdo things sometimes and regret it lool, I will experiments more plus I don't eat bread, cause of the salt in it and ofcourse no canned stuf and legumes not yet it get me bloated like a pregnant women loool, this recovery is weird very very very slow and you see changes after ages but it will get better, the good will overrun the bad

[[Ne...]]

When Vertigo "graduated" from BB, much of the energy on this thread began waning..Or maybe everybody is all better??   

Anyway, here is a new thread for sharing the Beyond Benzos experiences...PAWS/Post or Protracted Support Group--NEW.  blessings, NL

 

[[ta...]]

I would like to be a part of this group.  I'm benzo free since June and still having some horrible withdrawal effects.  Anxiety and depression are the 2 main ones.  Has anyone had headaches?  I have a migraine at least once a week now.  Has anyone experienced Monophobia? I am agoraphobic and battling getting to work everyday, and maintaining friendships.  Lots do to this holiday season and no desire to do it.  Actually fear of doing it.  Well I hope to be a nice addition to this group.  I know this takes time. 

[[ro...]]

Welcome Tab:

 

Benzo recovery is a tough road but well worth the finish line!  Congrats on getting where you are -- you deserve a big dish of accolades for getting off and coming so far. 

 

Our ole buddie, Vertigo, started this thread, and has moved on to another chapter of his life.  His advice was invaluable to so many.  We miss him   There are still many who post here for questions and feedback. 

 

The agoraphobic feelings are quite natural but as you mentioned, difficult to weather through when you have to get to work every day.  I'm assuming monophobia is fear of being by oneself? 

 

Let us know how you are doing -- and give yourself plenty of time for healing the CNS.  I thought a year would be enough time -- now I'm thinking 2 years is a more realistic timeframe. 

 

Merry post benzos to you!

Rocko

I had some bad headaches for months 1-4 after jumping off.  You might find the time between one gets longer (a nice respite). 

[[gi...]]

Hi Tablasco,

 

Welcome to post benzo world!

 

I had headaches 24 hrs/day for 9 months before they started only coming on occasionally. I'm still prone to them but they've only been really bad a few times in the last 3 years.  Hang in there; they'll fade eventually.

 

As far as anxiety goes, that seems to be the #1 long term post-benzo problem.  Learn coping skills, eft, emdr, mindfullness, and deep breathing to help combat the worst times. Also try to minimize your exposure to stress. I know, easier said than done! - but if you know you're about to step into a situation that's going to be rough, and you don't have to do it, then don't. 

 

I was diagnosed with depression decades ago.  When I went off antidepressants, my depression ended!  Go figure...

 

Find some hobbies to keep you occupied like photography, art, or cooking. Tai Chi and ChiGong are both great stress reducers.

 

Good luck to you and keep posting!

 

ginger

[[ta...]]

Thanks Rocko and Ginger,  Yes, Monophobia is a term I just learned for my age old issue.  Actually, I think my fear of being alone is more of a depression of being alone.  I do have a lot of friends, a girlfriend, big family, but I still think I'm alone too often.  I really am not though.  I have heard it is an issue that can last throughout the withdrawal process.  I had it during cutting too.  I'm hoping the headaches fade soon, they are really bad, but I can get through them.

 

Ginger, it's amazing how many times I've heard that antidepressants can give you depression.  I actually started this whole circle of hell by taking Zyban (welbruterin) to quit smoking.  It worked, but it made me anxious and depressed.  My doctor then put me on other things that made me worse.  And so on....

[[ma...]]

Hi Rocko. How are you? Did you have your surgery and is everything ok? ARe you sleeping yet? I am still struggling. Now I'm hypothyroid. I expected to be sleeping with it, but still not so good. Once in a  while I'll have a good nite without unisom. Wish my body would remember how to sleep.

[[ro...]]

Hi Maltese:

 

Gyn doc said my hyperplasia was still in the normal range, so no surgery.  I did have an in office biopsy and that was so very painful. 

 

I started taking melatonin in June this year to help with sleep as I tapered off Unisom.  June had many crappy sleep nites with benzo stuff.  July and August were slightly better.  September was the same as June.  I felt like I had gone backwards in recovery big time.  Now I know it was the melatonin that was jacking me up.  I read that it does/can lower serotonin and mess with thyroid hormone too.  Hence, some can get depression after taking melatonin. 

 

I stopped taking melatonin in early October and have been feeling and sleeping much better.  I tried Remeron for about 12 days and decided that appetite control is difficult with Remeron.  So I CT that too. 

 

I take 5htp (100 mg. 2x per day) now and occasionally some L theanine at bedtime.  I restarted Unisom in September and quickly saw that it was not making any difference in my sleep.  But that was the melatonin which was really working against my sleep.  So I am currently at 12.5 mg. unisom (1/2 tab), and plan to be off of it within a few weeks or so. 

 

I do think the 5htp and L theanine helps  with making one sleepy at bedtime.  I still struggle with falling asleep, but I am getting back to sleep and sleeping longer stretches of time.  November has been a much better month for me. 

 

So sorry to hear you are still struggling with the thyroid issues.  I do get my thyroid tested every three months to make sure it is at optimal levels.

 

Are you still having nite sweats?  I really think this is remaining benzo WD stuff.  I will get a nite heatup and can’t sleep.  When I do, it is only for about 2-3 hrs.  But I am back to having some longer windows (11-13 days at a time) before a nite of poor sleep with the heat up thing.  Also, tinnitus still comes and goes.  And I’ve had a few mornings of dizziness in the past month. 

 

I’m trying not to let the benzo nites ruin my next day’s activities.  I know I will sleep fine the following nite. 

 

It’s been a long road back to Sleepersville.  There are others who are still struggling with sleep post benzo. 

Best regards,

Rocko

 

[[pr...]]

i stopped the melatonin and the remeron too. i am still only falling asleep after 4 am and even then that is iffy.

i may start this live natural source melatonin from qnhshop as it is very different and has no synthetic's in it to rev me up.

i was actually taking a little bit some months ago and noticed a difference in a good way and i even had some more clear, vivid dreams. as my dreaming is not back in full force yet. but when i do have a good, detailed story type dream, that's when i really

feel my brain being healed.

 

i've been having horrible all around tightening headaches like my brain is in a vice being squeezed, it's so horrid. i've been needing to take 2 excedin and 2 regular aspirin daily, plus a benedryl which does help relax it a lot.

tonight i took my regular aspirin and i started massaging and doing some pretty deep acupressure massage, some tapping everywhere around my head and some stroking and there was an energy release as if someone was doing a reiki energy treatment on my brain, it just opened and releaxed and felt so nice. i will continue that everyday and all the while i talked direcly to my brain.

pretty