Post Benzo Freedom Withdrawal Support Group

[[ve...]]

Thanks for the song Verti.  It kinda sums it up.  It brought back some memories of my FIRST outting after ending my taper.  My SIL and I headed out last minute over to Berkeley to see Bob Dylan at the Greek Theatre.  We had no tickets but high hopes that we could buy some tickets at the entrance.  The biggest obstacle was that I had a bad case of Plantar Fasciitis and could barely walk.

 

I was dropped off at the entrance while son in law parked.  We found some tickets and I hobbled in as best as I could.  An  attendent saw me struggling up the steps and asked if I would like to sit in the handicapped section.  We ended up in front row center seats!  It was a wonderful autumn night, dark sky filled with stars.  Bob played all my favorite songs and from time to time I cried.  It was a fitting event to celebrate my newfound "freedom".

 

I feel like my journey here is also coming to a close.  My life is full and I am eager to move onto my next chapter.

 

I hope everyone posts away with any questions or comments.  No MORE V DAY is coming down the tracks.  31 days and counting!

 

OK Nitey Nite

Mimi

 

That's so cool Mimi. Sorry about your foot pain but like so many things in life, with joy sometimes comes a little pain (but tolerable!).  I bet it would have been great to see him at Red Rocks.  Your concert sounded sensational too and such a fitting celebration of your freedom.  I am saddened to read that you too may be leaving forum soon.  Of course, I understand only too well how the time does come to say so long.  Who is going to keep up this thread???

 

Hugs,

 

V

[[gi...]]

V. don't worry about this thread staying alive, as it kept up during your hiatus.  There are plenty of us post-benzo heads still banded together thanks to you!  I for one will continue to check in.

g

[[ve...]]

V. don't worry about this thread staying alive, as it kept up during your hiatus.  There are plenty of us post-benzo heads still banded together thanks to you!  I for one will continue to check in.

g

 

I think there's a whole new crew of folks around 1mg or below now too so if they want to join in, they might find some of the "post benzo" concept useful.  In any case, que sera sera...

 

V

[[Ne...]]

V. don't worry about this thread staying alive, as it kept up during your hiatus.  There are plenty of us post-benzo heads still banded together thanks to you!  I for one will continue to check in.g

 

I think there's a whole new crew of folks below 1 or 2mg too so if they want to join in, they might find some of the concept useful.  In any case, que sera sera...V

 

I wish that comment did not disappoint me, Vertigo. I still maintain that the mental anquish for those still tapering is far different from those coping with PAWS.  Am I the only one who thinks so? 

 

[[ve...]]

V. don't worry about this thread staying alive, as it kept up during your hiatus.  There are plenty of us post-benzo heads still banded together thanks to you!  I for one will continue to check in.g

 

I think there's a whole new crew of folks below 1 or 2mg too so if they want to join in, they might find some of the concept useful.  In any case, que sera sera...V

 

I wish that comment did not disappoint me, Vertigo. I still maintain that the mental anquish for those still tapering is far different from those coping with PAWS.  Am I the only one who thinks so?

 

Hi NL.  I meant once they got down to zero or close to zero in that a wave of folks will be post benzo soon .

 

Vertigo

[[pr...]]

well, looks like i can keep up this thread as i don't seem to be getting any better after 5 months.

this is becoming obnoxious!

i haven't even been able to come on to the BB for a week now.

still having brain stuff.

yes, i am the only one having this brain stuff still

yes, i am the only one who all she can do is lay on the couch all day long

yes, i did get that prescription for remeron and i don't know about it at all? very sedating and might interfere with whatever my brain is trying to do. just not sure about it. makes me thirsty. even at half of the lowest dose. it does help me sleep though.but i've been in a bad wave since i've been on it and i was feeling kinda okay the day i went to UCLA.

i can't believe my brain is still hissing and sizzle-ing away after this many months?

it's just cooking constantly. should it ease up by now? it's literally cooking and i am definitely a kindler.

prettydaisys

[[ih...]]

PD, I'm sure you are not the only one suffering the brain sx you describe. You are very articulate about your sx & others may just say they are feeling bad or having a tough time but everything you describe fits a brain in withdrawal pain.

 

I am sorry you are having another wave.

 

Remeron doesn't work for everyone unfortunately. If it is helping with sleep though you could try an even smaller dose.  Parker advised that 3 mgs worked for her, (1/5) of a 15 mg tab or you could ask the md about liquid. Parker said it did take a week or 2 to get over the hungover feeling in the morning but after that it was fine.

 

Have you checked out the facebook page fro Bliss, (there are also several threads on here about her). Bliss had a very bad long withdrawal with lots of neuro probs but is completely recovered. She seems to respond to most people on her FB page & may be able to offer you some encouragement. The page is: http://www.facebook.com/RecoveryRoadWellness

[[ve...]]

PD, I'm sure you are not the only one suffering the brain sx you describe. You are very articulate about your sx & others may just say they are feeling bad or having a tough time but everything you describe fits a brain in withdrawal pain.

 

I am sorry you are having another wave.

 

Remeron doesn't work for everyone unfortunately. If it is helping with sleep though you could try an even smaller dose.  Parker advised that 3 mgs worked for her, (1/5) of a 15 mg tab or you could ask the md about liquid. Parker said it did take a week or 2 to get over the hungover feeling in the morning but after that it was fine.

 

Have you checked out the facebook page fro Bliss, (there are also several threads on here about her). Bliss had a very bad long withdrawal with lots of neuro probs but is completely recovered. She seems to respond to most people on her FB page & may be able to offer you some encouragement. The page is: http://www.[PROSCRIBED WEBSITE #1]/RecoveryRoadWellness

 

I know you mean well ihope, but Parker is not an MD so one has to be helpful about advising people about medication based on one buddy writing about one person's experience.  I think I read some of what Parker wrote about her experience with remeron which was that a lower dose may have helped with sleep and a higher dose is supposedly needed to address depression.  So if one is prescribed remereon purely for sleep and not depresion, I think she may have been suggesting that  one may get by on somewhere between 7.5 and 15mg whereas if it is also prescribed for depression, a therapeutic dose may be closer to 30mg to address depression.  I am not a doctor, but that is what I read in a few places and may have been what Parker wrote about.  Always best to discuss with your own doctor.  I think Parker later found that she could reduce whatever dose she had been taking down below 7.5mg as she stabilized and felt better but I believe it was some period of months before she did that.  Also, remeron may help with some weight gain if one has lost much weight during withdrawal and wishes to put back on some pounds.  Again, best to check with one's own doctor what the appropriate doseage might be for a particular patient's situation. 

 

Vertigo

[[gi...]]

Hi prettydaisys,

 

I was still suffering pretty bad brain stuff at 5 months out. The worst of my w/d was months 3-6.  Hold on; it will get better.

 

I was on remeron for quite some time. It doped me up more than anything else.  It took a while to kick in, but it stopped working for my insomnia after only a short while.  I took it before I jumped on the klonopin train.

 

Until there are no chemicals aiding it, your brain is not working on its own. Because your brain hasn't healed yet, it's most likely responding to remeron differently than if you took it with a healthy brain.  I know you're in a bad way and are desperate for relief but I've yet to find anyone here who actually benefited from adding drugs during their w/d.  For me, when I went off ambien at month 8 my w/d symptoms improved significantly.  Of course that w/d wasn't a walk in the park, but when all was said and done I felt a lot better.

 

Hang in there!

 

ginger

[[no...]]

Hi. I am hoping someone who is out there as far as myself may have some input: I am at 13 months, have posted my success story. and things are still WAY better mentally- which was my biggest hurdle.

I am posting because in the past week or so I have experienced a really pronounced issue- When I walk, it feels like I am standing still and the ground is moving. I feel also  like the ground is like sand at the beach- giving way under me. It has really been bad. Yesterday I was walking with colleagues and on a slight incline, going downhill. Ever so slight. Yet I almost could not negotiate it. What the heck. What is this? I have had some really weird stuff on this journey. I promised my husband I would go to the dr, which is the first time I have done so. But...

any input out there welcome

north

[[ve...]]

Hi. I am hoping someone who is out there as far as myself may have some input: I am at 13 months, have posted my success story. and things are still WAY better mentally- which was my biggest hurdle.

I am posting because in the past week or so I have experienced a really pronounced issue- When I walk, it feels like I am standing still and the ground is moving. I feel also  like the ground is like sand at the beach- giving way under me. It has really been bad. Yesterday I was walking with colleagues and on a slight incline, going downhill. Ever so slight. Yet I almost could not negotiate it. What the heck. What is this? I have had some really weird stuff on this journey. I promised my husband I would go to the dr, which is the first time I have done so. But...

any input out there welcome

north

 

Hi North.  Sounds like it could be a vestibular problem?  Best to get thorouhly checked out.  How is your blood pressure?  Might be best to see the doctor, eh?

 

Vertigo

[[no...]]

so its not...dare I say...vertigo, Vertigo?

[[gi...]]

Hi. I am hoping someone who is out there as far as myself may have some input: I am at 13 months, have posted my success story. and things are still WAY better mentally- which was my biggest hurdle.

I am posting because in the past week or so I have experienced a really pronounced issue- When I walk, it feels like I am standing still and the ground is moving. I feel also  like the ground is like sand at the beach- giving way under me. It has really been bad. Yesterday I was walking with colleagues and on a slight incline, going downhill. Ever so slight. Yet I almost could not negotiate it. What the heck. What is this? I have had some really weird stuff on this journey. I promised my husband I would go to the dr, which is the first time I have done so. But...

any input out there welcome

north

 

I know quite a few people, myself included, who starting having derealization (which is what you're describing) a year or so out.  One, Nurse Tanya, still has it from time to time at 4+ years out.  I have it on occasion still (3+ years).  I can't walk up stairs while looking down, and I can't carry things up or down stairs without holding on to the banister. I was never like this pre-benzo w/d. I get easily disoriented, especially in the dark. It sucks, but what can you do?

[[Me...]]

Ok.. I jumped! I'm legit.  I am post Benzo as off... 3, 2, 1 NOW!  (I usually take my dose about now.)

 

Over the last 4 days I took: 0.14, 0.12, 0.08 and yesterday 0.05 mg.  I was stable at 0.25 mg when I started the the FINAL taper eight days ago.  I guess it is a little like jumping from 0.25 mg ... but people do it, right?  Right?  My first jump attempt was at 0.30 mg 15 days ago.  I lost a night of sleep and then stayed at 0.25 mg for a week.

 

Perhaps, I will lose a few nights of sleep, but I think I will let it go this time and just get this thing done.  Amazing how this little amount of Valium that wouldn't put a fly to sleep can have a hold on a person.  Or maybe not.. maybe I will be just fine.

 

It is a good day for the first day of the rest of my life!

[[Ne...]]

Good news, Memories...Welcome to the first day of your true recovery.  May your transition be gentle...and if not, may you lean on so many brothers and sisters on this essential BB thread that Vertigo created about two and a half years ago.  Blessings, NL

[[ve...]]

Ok.. I jumped! I'm legit.  I am post Benzo as off... 3, 2, 1 NOW!  (I usually take my dose about now.)

 

Over the last 4 days I took: 0.14, 0.12, 0.08 and yesterday 0.05 mg.  I was stable at 0.25 mg when I started the the FINAL taper eight days ago.  I guess it is a little like jumping from 0.25 mg ... but people do it, right?  Right?  My first jump attempt was at 0.30 mg 15 days ago.  I lost a night of sleep and then stayed at 0.25 mg for a week.

 

Perhaps, I will lose a few nights of sleep, but I think I will let it go this time and just get this thing done.  Amazing how this little amount of Valium that wouldn't put a fly to sleep can have a hold on a person.  Or maybe not.. maybe I will be just fine.

 

It is a good day for the first day of the rest of my life!

 

Awesome news Memories.  Welcome to the post benzo club

 

Vertigo

[[pr...]]

ihope, thanks for that advice about the remeron. i think i will cut the lowest dose in half so it will be about 3mg. and then take that only as needed for sleep unless it really helps with weight gain and appetite then i will be on board with it.

i didn't get that facebook page you put down in regards to bliss and i would love to see her facebook page.

i would love to be in touch with her for sure and i do know she did have a very long and detailed neurological benzo withdrawal.

it wasn't until i read all the symptoms on recovery road that bliss johns wrote that brought me out of the worst dp/dr where i had about a few weeks and i seriously thought that the doctor who treated me at the detox, had put something inside my brain and was controlling it.

i still think that sometimes, especially when the hallucinations come back and my brain buzzes in one place.

 

North, i tried to send you a PM but it said your inbox is full. i have had what you're experiencing with that sensation that i am standing still and the ground is moving beneath me. a classic symptom of that 'undulation' of which Dr. Ashton does mention in the protracted withdrawals -i believe- of the Manual. thank God, she mentions it or i would be freaking out about this never ending undulation.

it's just a symptom of the benzo withdrawal and i hope it goes away for you because it is a very scary symptom when those creepy and bizarre neurological things are happening. my benzo withdrawal is mostly all neurological. burning, pain, crushing my feet, crushing my shoulder all from what is happening from my brain.

it's just a brain thing! it's getting really annoying. i am having difficulties handling this for so long!

pretty

[[ve...]]

ihope, thanks for that advice about the remeron. i think i will cut the lowest dose in half so it will be about 3mg. and then take that only as needed for sleep unless it really helps with weight gain and appetite then i will be on board with it.

i didn't get that facebook page you put down in regards to bliss and i would love to see her facebook page.

i would love to be in touch with her for sure and i do know she did have a very long and detailed neurological benzo withdrawal.

it wasn't until i read all the symptoms on recovery road that bliss johns wrote that brought me out of the worst dp/dr where i had about a few weeks and i seriously thought that the doctor who treated me at the detox, had put something inside my brain and was controlling it.

i still think that sometimes, especially when the hallucinations come back and my brain buzzes in one place.

 

North, i tried to send you a PM but it said your inbox is full. i have had what you're experiencing with that sensation that i am standing still and the ground is moving beneath me. a classic symptom of that 'undulation' of which Dr. Ashton does mention in the protracted withdrawals -i believe- of the Manual. thank God, she mentions it or i would be freaking out about this never ending undulation.

it's just a symptom of the benzo withdrawal and i hope it goes away for you because it is a very scary symptom when those creepy and bizarre neurological things are happening. my benzo withdrawal is mostly all neurological. burning, pain, crushing my feet, crushing my shoulder all from what is happening from my brain.

it's just a brain thing! it's getting really annoying. i am having difficulties handling this for so long!

pretty

 

Hi PrettyDaisys.  I would not make medication changes to prescribed doses without discussing with your doctor.  I don't think Parker started at 3mg but reduced it to that after she was far along and feeling much better perhaps after six months.  I am not a doctor but my guess is that 7.5mg-15mg would be a minimum starting point to help with sleep and appetite but talk with your own physician about what is the best starting point for you.

 

Best,

 

Vertigo

[[ih...]]

Actually, V, there are medical studies establishing that remeron acts most strongly on histamine receptors at low doses & becomes more stimulating at higher doses as noradrenaline receptors are activated which overcomes the sedative effect.

 

I believe that Parker stated that she adjusted her dose to achieve the optimum sedative effect without undue sedation the next day.

 

Don't want to argue with you & of course Pretty Daisy should consult her md but unfortunately, they are not always familiar with the minutiae of these meds & they are generally not tested on a range of subjects with a range of BMIs.

[[ve...]]

c

[[ve...]]

Actually, V, there are medical studies establishing that remeron acts most strongly on histamine receptors at low doses & becomes more stimulating at higher doses as noradrenaline receptors are activated which overcomes the sedative effect.

 

I believe that Parker stated that she adjusted her dose to achieve the optimum sedative effect without undue sedation the next day.

 

Don't want to argue with you & of course Pretty Daisy should consult her md but unfortunately, they are not always familiar with the minutiae of these meds & they are generally not tested on a range of subjects with a range of BMIs.

 

I hear you ihope.  However, it can be a slippery slope when one is prescribed a medication by a doctor and then a patient changes or lowers the dose based on reading one anecdotal report of one person on a forum.  I agree that if I were in PrettyDaisy's shoes, I would probably try to get by on the lowest dose that is therapeutic in terms of sleep, appetite or if depression is being treated.  Just wanted to be sure that PD checks with her doctor about changes to doseage .

 

Best,

 

Vertigo

[[ve...]]

Ok.. I jumped! I'm legit.  I am post Benzo as off... 3, 2, 1 NOW!  (I usually take my dose about now.)

 

Over the last 4 days I took: 0.14, 0.12, 0.08 and yesterday 0.05 mg.  I was stable at 0.25 mg when I started the the FINAL taper eight days ago.  I guess it is a little like jumping from 0.25 mg ... but people do it, right?  Right?  My first jump attempt was at 0.30 mg 15 days ago.  I lost a night of sleep and then stayed at 0.25 mg for a week.

 

Perhaps, I will lose a few nights of sleep, but I think I will let it go this time and just get this thing done.  Amazing how this little amount of Valium that wouldn't put a fly to sleep can have a hold on a person.  Or maybe not.. maybe I will be just fine.

 

It is a good day for the first day of the rest of my life!

 

How are you doing today on your first benzo free day, Memories?  Hope you are able to get some sleep and/or rest.

 

V

[[ve...]]

Have a great weekend post benzo buddies .  Wishing you all lots of healing and rest at the end of the week .

 

Vertigo

[[Ne...]]

..to you as well, Vertigo...I keep forgetting that working folks have weekends...one of the perks of old-ness is having a seven day weekend.  blessings, nl

[[Me...]]

Ok.. I jumped! I'm legit.  I am post Benzo as off... 3, 2, 1 NOW!  (I usually take my dose about now.)

 

Over the last 4 days I took: 0.14, 0.12, 0.08 and yesterday 0.05 mg.  I was stable at 0.25 mg when I started the the FINAL taper eight days ago.  I guess it is a little like jumping from 0.25 mg ... but people do it, right?  Right?  My first jump attempt was at 0.30 mg 15 days ago.  I lost a night of sleep and then stayed at 0.25 mg for a week.

 

Perhaps, I will lose a few nights of sleep, but I think I will let it go this time and just get this thing done.  Amazing how this little amount of Valium that wouldn't put a fly to sleep can have a hold on a person.  Or maybe not.. maybe I will be just fine.

 

It is a good day for the first day of the rest of my life!

 

How are you doing today on your first benzo free day, Memories?  Hope you are able to get some sleep and/or rest.

 

V

 

Didn't sleep well last night.  I woke up at 1 am after going to bed somewhat early and then had a hard time going back to sleep until 5:30 am and then off course the day began around 8:30 am!  I rested for 45 minutes this afternoon and now I am looking forward to cuddling into bed soon again.  I don't know that I had insomnia due to the jump... just my ordinary bad habits!  I haven't had any other bothersome symptoms.  I am glad to had the weekend to chill out and relax and not get triggered if I do start to go into withdrawal.  I am done with family court for a while and I have to watch my dollars the next two weeks but other that that, I don't have any major stress coming up. Except ordinary life stress, like getting my son to school on time.