Post Benzo Freedom Withdrawal Support Group

[[ta...]]

Vertigo,  did your blood pressure stay elevated, or did it come down in time after benzos?

[[Ly...]]

Hey guys good morning how are you all? I've been trying to get like 10 hours of sleep a night hoping it will help. I'm 3 months off and still have some very hardcore waves of dizziness, intense brain fog, some weird traveling head and body pressure with this really bad woozy out of It feeling and bad headaches . Two weeks ago it was so bad I could barely get up and walk without my head feeling like there was a giant whirling fan inside of it and the head pressure would get worse the more and more I walked . I have had a bad concussion I am healing from prior to this and it's my first time off meds since it all happened . From what I gather my symptoms sound consistent with everyone else . Hoping its more benzo withdrawal and my body readjusting and not some sign of extreme anxiety disorder or how bad my injury really is .

Hope you all are healing and having a fantastic weekend

 

[[ve...]]

Vertigo,  did your blood pressure stay elevated, or did it come down in time after benzos?

 

Hi tablasco (like the name ) 

 

BP was elevated in the first three months after my last valium dose.  Part of this may have been due to taking a fair amount of ibuprofin when I had shingles (five weeks after last dose) for several weeks.  It seemed to wax and wane that first six months and I did have a couple of mini panics which in retrospect were probably reactions to some BP changes and feeling a little dizzy on a couple of occasions. It did calm down by about six months off,  but I started to gain some weight that first summer after being off valium (at around 6-7 months.)

 

I made the error of reintroducing some wine (not in excess, maybe 2 glasses a few times a week while on holiday at six months.  I recommend folks wait a year if they can before reintroducing alcohol.)  The vino in combination with eating poorly in terms of more sweets and gaining about 10lbs over that first summer led to a spike in blood pressure again.  By August 2010, BP was very high again.  I started an exercise and lower carb diet which within three weeks got the BP normal (doctor wanted to put me on beta blockers which I declined).  However, I continued on low carb too long and lost too much weight too fast (about 30lbs in three months).  So I started having spikes in anxiety and early morning wake ups at around one year post benzo in Nov 2010.  I needed to gradually add back some complex carbs and gain back some of the weight in year 2 in 2011.  By 18 months (May 2011), I was in pretty good shape physically but still had a few kinks to work out in terms of mood, motivation, and minor cog fog type stuff.  I've since gained back most of the rest of what I had lost that Fall of 2010 .  So now I must yo yo back down the scale, but I'll go much more slowly and gradually this time.  I had a physical last month and my BP was a little high but not as high as that summer of 2010.  I do need to lose 10-15 lbs for sure.  Hang in there.  It's a process that takes time to fully regain one's health.  Sometimes we gotta do the best we can and be patient.

 

Best wishes,

 

V

[[ta...]]

Thanks for the reply vertigo.  I've had slightly increased bp lately and I think that may be why.  I'm hoping not to go on medication since I've had so much trouble.  I'm going to keep an eye on it and possibly go to the doctor soon, but I think diet and exercise is the best for me right now.  Thanks again.

 

[[co...]]

This is so very helpful. I have traveled this benzo-free road completely alone for almost 6 mo. I have no medical insurance. I've have been experiencing intense heart pounding and have been prescribed medication for high blood pressure. I've been so exhausted that I'm unable to function normally.

I'd decided that my intense anxiety was a return to my pre-benzo self but don't remember that it was this debilitating. I also believed that my body pain and breathing difficulties were signs of aging. I have been under extreme financial stress and, at times, have felt suicidal. It finally occurred to me that I am still experiencing withdrawal...

[[ve...]]

This is so very helpful. I have traveled this benzo-free road completely alone for almost 6 mo. I have no medical insurance. I've have been experiencing intense heart pounding and have been prescribed medication for high blood pressure. I've been so exhausted that I'm unable to function normally.

I'd decided that my intense anxiety was a return to my pre-benzo self but don't remember that it was this debilitating. I also believed that my body pain and breathing difficulties were signs of aging. I have been under extreme financial stress and, at times, have felt suicidal. It finally occurred to me that I am still experiencing withdrawal...

 

Hi Correander.  I am sorry to read about some of your medical issues.  Just to be clear, I'm not suggesting that anyone not take medications for blood pressure.  You and your doctor should work that out and make the best decision for your specific situation. In my case, I felt my BP was fluctuating partly due to some weight gain, partly the ibuprofin I had been taking for Shingles and yes, rebound anxiety was probably a factor too.  Like you, I had pre benzo anxiety and it took some adaptation to be off the benzo.  That being said, I think it was also the weight gain.  I didn't want to take more medication after working so hard to become medication free after the valium, but sometimes it can be helpful for some.  I know of several buddies who benefited from beta blockers to both deal with BP and some anxiety.  No shame in it if your doctor and you come to that decision.  For me, I was able to manage my BP through diet and exercise.  Hope you can get some medical insurance as soon as possible.

 

Best,

 

V

[[co...]]

Thank you, V. I appreciate your reply.

I just began to take the bp medication. It seems to be helping. It had not occurred to me that this issue was related to the withdrawal. BB is helping me to understand what is w/d related. It's very helpful.

[[ve...]]

v

[[ve...]]

Thank you, V. I appreciate your reply.

I just began to take the bp medication. It seems to be helping. It had not occurred to me that this issue was related to the withdrawal. BB is helping me to understand what is w/d related. It's very helpful.

 

No worries corareader.  Remember, that we never can know for sure if something "is" withdrawal related.  We can only speculate that something "could be".  Our general health, age, history, other medications one may be taking, how long one was on the benzo and what dose, whether one consumes alcohol or other recreational drugs, level of exercise (frequency, intensity, duration or lack thereof), diet/nutrition, level of stress one has undergone and continues to experience, whether one is working or not, type of work (physically demanding or not), level of family support one has or does not have, if one has a meditation or spiritual practice that can help manage the stress... and much more may factor in.  I'm sure I've left out some.  Anyway, hang in there.  It does get better.

 

Vertigo

[[No...]]

Hi Vertigo

 

Have you ever heard about anyone moving backwards in recovery?

 

I had a very hard taper of 11 months, with many ups and downs, and I a now 13 months benxo free. First 3 months benzo free were really bad, but from one day to the other I got around 50% better, this lasting 3 months. I did too much, way to much, I fried my brain with stress related activities. So I crashed and spend 2 months feeling very bad. Then came 1.5 months, feeling better again, far from recovered, but I could get through the days. Again I was thrown to the ground lasting 1.5 months, and after that 22 days with my head above the water.

 

Now I have spent almost a month with symptoms worse than when I first came off, same kind of symptoms, but more consistent, I am very afraid!

 

I have been on Lyrica since early in my taper, but I am in no place to taper that yet. In my better periods I have taken up coffee again (off now), but I have had no alcohol since starting my taper 2 years ago.

 

I guess my question is, if my healing curve is something that you have seen before. I am frightened because the last 2 month, I feel like I have been back sliding, with no real positive change in my baseline. I am sicker that I was when I had the 3 good months from 3-6 months benzo free.

 

I hope that this is not very unusual, otherwise I have to worry about finding other answers to why I do not feel like moving forward.

 

[[gi...]]

Everyone here, please read:

 

http://www.benzobuddies.org/forum/index.php?PHPSESSID=ajeg70la7mt6pmjhkeapbn63h7&topic=73112.0

[[ve...]]

Hi Ginger.  As you know, I'm not around forum anymore either, except for the very occasional pop in , I've moved on as well.  You, Bill, me and a few others from 2009 wrapping things up here, eh?  Kind of strange to be thought of as an oldtimer but I guess there's some truth in it, given the number of years since first post here!  I was very happy to read that you're up to six hours of sleep .  Sleep really does heal so don't be surprised if you notice more CNS healing.  I started this journey back in 2008 with insomnia and issues with stress management/anxiety.  Sleep has noticeably improved even in the last six months.  Although sleep was dramatically better at a year post benzo (compared to before the benzo), there is no doubt that at 3 years, it is even better.  And when it's not on some occasions like when I am flying across time zones, I can deal with it better.  I recall that you also like to travel.  Like you, I've worked on mindfulness and acceptance, two things which have made a huge difference in my final healing, that last 5-15% of symptoms that lingered in the 2nd year and part of year 3.  I also feel that alcohol consumed too early in my healing delayed my CNS from fully coming back sooner.  We've discussed this through the years.  Also had shingles which complicated things a bit.  Everyone has their unique history, perhaps history of taking other medications, "diagnoses" or labels... to deal with.  It can be a gradual process and healing may take longer than expected.  My two cents for others who are reading this is to stay off the alcohol for a minimum of one year post benzo.  A very good book on  trauma, by the way,  is "Finding Life Beyond Trauma" by Victoria Follette.

 

Anyway G, hope you find some joy in your life apart from BB.  It's a relief to not be thinking about benzos anymore.  I used to joke that I had a secondary addiction to the benzo forum .  I think stepping away can be another phase of healing and taking responsibility for one's life.  No need to perenially blame doctors mistakes, medications, past conditions... Acceptance really is the ultimate liberator.  Getting out and doing things that are important despite an occasional symptom builds strength and enables one to stop hanging on to excuses for not living life to the fullest.  There is no perfect state of health so waiting around for complete healing is silly, right?.  Once you start doing more of the things that are meaningful and joyful, the less one finds oneself thinking about the benzo and post benzo experience (not that one needs to shut those thoughts and experience down, but it's nice to have it fade away).  Hope some of those remaining symptoms continue to diminish as did the insomnia.  You have contributed much here and helped many along the way .

 

Take care G,

 

 

V

[[ve...]]

v

[[ve...]]

Hi Vertigo

 

Have you ever heard about anyone moving backwards in recovery?

 

Yes Noolie, setbacks can feel like moving backwards but the overall trajectory can still be moving forward even though it may not always feel that way.  It can be quite common to have several periods of moving forward and back, even have a setback which might make one feel like hope is lost, but one can persevere and get back on track

 

I had a very hard taper of 11 months, with many ups and downs, and I a now 13 months benxo free. First 3 months benzo free were really bad, but from one day to the other I got around 50% better, this lasting 3 months. I did too much, way to much, I fried my brain with stress related activities. So I crashed and spend 2 months feeling very bad. Then came 1.5 months, feeling better again, far from recovered, but I could get through the days. Again I was thrown to the ground lasting 1.5 months, and after that 22 days with my head above the water.

 

No doubt one must learn to manage stress better and take ample breaks, get rest when you need it, take care of your body with hydration, good healthy food, stay away from alcohol as much as possible and at least for me, find a spiritual path (whether formal religion or informal) which can sustain you through rough periods.  Also, family support helps.  For some, having a therapist can help get through some of the rough times.  Those first three months were rough for me too.  I thought I was doing really well at six months off but had a fairly sizeable health setback at 9 months.  And again at 14 months out when stress spiked again.  Don't beat yourself up for having some rough patches. Learn from mistakes and try to stay as positive as you can

 

Now I have spent almost a month with symptoms worse than when I first came off, same kind of symptoms, but more consistent, I am very afraid!

 

I have been on Lyrica since early in my taper, but I am in no place to taper that yet. In my better periods I have taken up coffee again (off now), but I have had no alcohol since starting my taper 2 years ago.

 

Caffeine, other meds, alcohol... all can have an impact on recovery.  It can be a slow gradual process.  Be patient and you will get there.  Each day, week and month away from a benzo can be a liberating one

 

I guess my question is, if my healing curve is something that you have seen before. I am frightened because the last 2 month, I feel like I have been back sliding, with no real positive change in my baseline. I am sicker that I was when I had the 3 good months from 3-6 months benzo free.

 

It is possible to develop other health problems during post benzo recovery. For example, as I have posted, I had some issues with elevated blood pressure, weight gain, cholesterol... Some of these medical conditions can be monitored and treated by your doctor.  Don't assume all is benzo related.  Some folks had medical conditions before benzos like chronic fatigue, adrenal fatigue, depression, hormonal imbalance, thyroid or other issues which may need to be monitored by a physician.

 

I hope that this is not very unusual, otherwise I have to worry about finding other answers to why I do not feel like moving forward.

 

Sometimes all the answers don't come at once.  Consult with your doctor where appropriate and try to be patient.  Healing can take some time.  It's a balance between blaming a benzo for health issues vs dealing with some issues that may have been present before taking the benzo.  It can take time to sort out one's health.  I personally advocate learning ways to deal with stress better.  I like Jon Kabat Zinn's books like Full Catastrophe Living.  Also, I enjoyed some of the Acceptance and Commitment Therapy books, particularly for anxiety and life in general.  The Happiness Trap by Russ Harris is a good one.  Mindfulness and meditation can also help with stress.  Best,  V

[/quot

[[pa...]]

Hi V and all

I posted yesterday to my success blog and wanted to post here as well.

 

We all are on about the same page as far as recovery and moving on.

I too have not spent much time here the last few months. I apologize to any members who may have missed my presence here.

 

Since August, I have been holding down full time plus hours at work. I have been doing a great job and there's talk of me being the 'person in charge' at our small office. This will mean handling the filing, supplies, and one on one communication with plant management. No small task!

 

All this from a post benzo freedom member!

 

Many things going on at home.

Mini van broke down and we bought a new car.

Wife and daughter need dental work. Finally got around to getting dental coverage which started Jan 1.

Still having some issues with Dad's side of family. Grandma not doing well. Aunts, Uncles, etc are usually at war with each other over what to do with her. Also, step Grandfather passed away last July.

Plus the usual stuff with a teen and pre teen. Daughter now has an unofficial boyfriend.

 

Anyway, sorry this post is all just about my stuff. It's just that life's been like that these last few months. Still occasionally have symptoms come back when stress level gets really high. Mostly, though, I forget about the benzo issue and just attribute it to a regular stress reaction.

V, I sincerely wish the best for you and others here on this board!

I'm thinking of coming back next month and helping out for about 2 months or so. That is, unless life gets too chaotic!

Take good care all, especially to those moving on...

Sincerely,

Pangelingua

 

 

 

[[ve...]]

Hi V and all

I posted yesterday to my success blog and wanted to post here as well.

 

We all are on about the same page as far as recovery and moving on.

I too have not spent much time here the last few months. I apologize to any members who may have missed my presence here.

 

Since August, I have been holding down full time plus hours at work. I have been doing a great job and there's talk of me being the 'person in charge' at our small office. This will mean handling the filing, supplies, and one on one communication with plant management. No small task!

 

All this from a post benzo freedom member!

 

Many things going on at home.

Mini van broke down and we bought a new car.

Wife and daughter need dental work. Finally got around to getting dental coverage which started Jan 1.

Still having some issues with Dad's side of family. Grandma not doing well. Aunts, Uncles, etc are usually at war with each other over what to do with her. Also, step Grandfather passed away last July.

Plus the usual stuff with a teen and pre teen. Daughter now has an unofficial boyfriend.

 

Anyway, sorry this post is all just about my stuff. It's just that life's been like that these last few months. Still occasionally have symptoms come back when stress level gets really high. Mostly, though, I forget about the benzo issue and just attribute it to a regular stress reaction.

V, I sincerely wish the best for you and others here on this board!

I'm thinking of coming back next month and helping out for about 2 months or so. That is, unless life gets too chaotic!

Take good care all, especially to those moving on...

Sincerely,

Pangelingua

 

That's awesome news Pange .  I'm glad I was able to see your post before fading back off forum and this thread.  It sounds like you are living life productively and joyfully, meeting obstacles and challenges with courage and as any post benzo warrior can try to do .  Car troubles, increased workload, family members who have health issues, teenage daugher... sounds like you're living life full steam ahead .  Sorry about the loss of your step grandfather :'(.  Never a need to apologize for updating on this thread about how you are facing life's challenges and succeeding (or if struggling with some things, folks are here to support eachother).  If you wish to post more on this thread in the coming months to keep it active for some others who are newly post benzo, that might be helpful to some.  As you know, I don't have the time to do that anymore but I have enjoyed blogging with a few of you to start the year, but must move on again.

 

Cheers,

 

Vertigo

[[ho...]]

Hi Vertigo -- Before you go! ....

 

I read that you experienced a wave at month 14.  Could you please tell me about it: sx, how long did it last, when did you turn around, etc...

 

I'm in day 42 of my month 14 wave.  Waiting it out.  Ready for it to lift!  Tried to figure out cause and fix it but not happening.  I'm convinced now that it is just part of the "healing" process.

 

Thanks.

[[No...]]

Hi Vertigo

 

Have you ever heard about anyone moving backwards in recovery?

 

Yes Noolie, setbacks can feel like moving backwards but the overall trajectory can still be moving forward even though it may not always feel that way.  It can be quite common to have several periods of moving forward and back, even have a setback which might make one feel like hope is lost, but one can persevere and get back on track

 

I had a very hard taper of 11 months, with many ups and downs, and I a now 13 months benxo free. First 3 months benzo free were really bad, but from one day to the other I got around 50% better, this lasting 3 months. I did too much, way to much, I fried my brain with stress related activities. So I crashed and spend 2 months feeling very bad. Then came 1.5 months, feeling better again, far from recovered, but I could get through the days. Again I was thrown to the ground lasting 1.5 months, and after that 22 days with my head above the water.

 

No doubt one must learn to manage stress better and take ample breaks, get rest when you need it, take care of your body with hydration, good healthy food, stay away from alcohol as much as possible and at least for me, find a spiritual path (whether formal religion or informal) which can sustain you through rough periods.  Also, family support helps.  For some, having a therapist can help get through some of the rough times.  Those first three months were rough for me too.  I thought I was doing really well at six months off but had a fairly sizeable health setback at 9 months.  And again at 14 months out when stress spiked again.  Don't beat yourself up for having some rough patches. Learn from mistakes and try to stay as positive as you can

 

Now I have spent almost a month with symptoms worse than when I first came off, same kind of symptoms, but more consistent, I am very afraid!

 

I have been on Lyrica since early in my taper, but I am in no place to taper that yet. In my better periods I have taken up coffee again (off now), but I have had no alcohol since starting my taper 2 years ago.

 

Caffeine, other meds, alcohol... all can have an impact on recovery.  It can be a slow gradual process.  Be patient and you will get there.  Each day, week and month away from a benzo can be a liberating one

 

I guess my question is, if my healing curve is something that you have seen before. I am frightened because the last 2 month, I feel like I have been back sliding, with no real positive change in my baseline. I am sicker that I was when I had the 3 good months from 3-6 months benzo free.

 

It is possible to develop other health problems during post benzo recovery. For example, as I have posted, I had some issues with elevated blood pressure, weight gain, cholesterol... Some of these medical conditions can be monitored and treated by your doctor.  Don't assume all is benzo related.  Some folks had medical conditions before benzos like chronic fatigue, adrenal fatigue, depression, hormonal imbalance, thyroid or other issues which may need to be monitored by a physician.

 

I hope that this is not very unusual, otherwise I have to worry about finding other answers to why I do not feel like moving forward.

 

Sometimes all the answers don't come at once.  Consult with your doctor where appropriate and try to be patient.  Healing can take some time.  It's a balance between blaming a benzo for health issues vs dealing with some issues that may have been present before taking the benzo.  It can take time to sort out one's health.  I personally advocate learning ways to deal with stress better.  I like Jon Kabat Zinn's books like Full Catastrophe Living.  Also, I enjoyed some of the Acceptance and Commitment Therapy books, particularly for anxiety and life in general.  The Happiness Trap by Russ Harris is a good one.  Mindfulness and meditation can also help with stress.  Best,  V

[/quot

 

Hi Vertigo

 

Thank you very much for your answers.

 

I have been checked out by my doctor, and by a psychologist (who I consulted when I had my stress break down). No problems with blood, cholesterol, weight, blood pressure...Even my psychologist says that my stress problems have all been solved, and she sees no reason to why my problems after weaning off benzos could be attributed to emotional problems. My problems began 1 week after the start of my taper, and I have never had any of these problems before. 6 years on benzos, 11 month taper

 

So, other health problems aside, have you ever heard of 2 months waves/setbacks? I do not have windows, but periods of feeling better, but then I get hit hard again lasting 1-2 months every time.

 

I am afraid that my recovery is unusual with the long waves, and pretty long periods of being able to do more?

[[ve...]]

Hi Vertigo -- Before you go! ....

 

I read that you experienced a wave at month 14.  Could you please tell me about it: sx, how long did it last, when did you turn around, etc...

 

I'm in day 42 of my month 14 wave.  Waiting it out.  Ready for it to lift!  Tried to figure out cause and fix it but not happening.  I'm convinced now that it is just part of the "healing" process.

 

Thanks.

 

Hi Hope.  It was associated with a combination of too rapid weight loss (30 lbs over three months) plus getting a puppy which led to a series of sleepless night and wake ups for a period of a few weeks.  I think I had a combination of some type of adrenal fatigue from the weight loss and the sleep loss seemed to rev me up for a period.  I think when one is not eating well or not getting proper rest or exercise (too much or too little), it can cause some problems.  I'm pretty sure that its all on this thread. 14 months for me would have been January of 2011 if you want to go back that far on this thread.  I don't have all the answers on this topic.  Perhaps others can weigh in (no pun ).  Hope that helps.  These setbacks come and go, some last longer than others, but if one is making an effort to do mostly the right things and paradoxically also letting go or even pushing oneself a little at times (less effort in a zen kind of way), things can gradually improve in some ways.

 

To answer Noolie's question about setbacks lasting two months, I believe that is possible.  It depends on how much stress one is under, level of family or therapy support one has and probably many other potential factors, from other medications still taken or even other health issues or pre benzo issues.  Something as simple as a cold/virus can certainly get one run down and take many weeks if not a month to feel better.  If it were the flu, I imagine it could be longer, even months.  When in doubt, check with your physician .

 

Good luck,

 

V

[[ho...]]

Thanks for the reply V.  And wishes for you all the best life has to offer!

[[pa...]]

I echo that!

Thanks so much V for your reply, and all the time and effort you've put into keeping this board going, and for being so helpful to others here on BB

 

I plan to spend more time here in the next 2 months. If there's any way I can help a member who's still struggling, I'd be happy to do so.

I don't have much experience dealing with poly-med issues or many health issues (unless it's one's I've had or have), but I still have encouragement and advise to offer.

Unfortunately, I have limited computer access (cell phone is not too fancy; also only 1 computer in home has online capability at any one time).

I've been in the midst of trying to rectify that. I was sharing a computer with 2 kids since forever. We now have 2, but I'm still trying to update our system to allow multiple computers with internet access.

 

Anyway, it just means that my responses are somewhat slow and I'm not as frequent a poster as some. I usually check online in the evening (PST).

 

Hope all remaining buddies are doing well this week. Any issues that may come up, I'll try to address them tomorrow evening. I also plan to spend time on the 'Prayer Request' thread in the Faith & Philosophy section. I also have a thread there called 'Inspirations and Thoughts by Pangelingua'.

Any of you members who draw inspiration from stories and philosophical thinking are welcome to visit there!

Take care 'till then...

 

 

[[pa...]]

It's about 5:45pm PST and I'm checking the forum for responses and posts.

Not much happening this evening on the forum here at this time. Will check back tomorrow.

 

I have a nasty cold or flu that the rest of my family already contracted. Spent most of the day at work and had difficulty with stamina. Also dizziness and weakness. Lots of sinus pressure too.

 

I have the next couple of days off. Tomorrow, I'll check the forum and see what's going on...

Till then, take care all post benzo members!

[[ve...]]

Hey Pange.  Good to see you are back on BB to help some folks out.  I couldn't help but return for one last post to comment on your post about the flu and the subject of setbacks in general.  First, I hope you get your rest and hydrate well whether its the  flu or a milder virus.  I mentioned in my previous post that something as simple as a cold can rev symptoms up, but perhaps I was not specific enough.  Sometimes if one gets a virus, particularly in the first six months off the benzo, the strain on the immune system which may already be run down or sensitive, can lead to fatigue and other symptoms.  If one starts to take a bunch of over the counter or prescription medications, these can also impact one's nervous system in some ways.  Some are sensitive to antibiotics as an example.  By now, hopefully all know the story on quinolone antibiotics and know to stay away from ones like cirpro, levaquin and some others which seem to have a potential to impact the CNS.  Some folks are particularly very sensitive to them.  Others who carry their stress in their abdomen/gut may also react to strong antibiotics which can upset the tummy.  I have been prone to sinus infections in the past and have learned to always take a good probiotic like culturelle (over the counter) particularly from day one of taking any antibiotic.  This has helped me avoid the runs and other stomach upset.  I used to take acidophillus which an ENT told me to do years ago, but the probiotic works even better for me.  I have a history of ulcers, even though many years ago, I find the antibiotics hit my gut hard.  Certain other cold medicines which have decongestants like sudafed type stimulants (also known as pseudoephedrine) can rev up the nervous system and prevent or impact sleep.  I used to take sudafed before flying but even before benzos, it would keep me up all night the day I took a 12 hour tablet, even if in the morning.  Some cold medicines have these stimulants in them (dayquil...) if decongestants are listed.  To be sure, some may not have reactions to these over the counter medications, but it helps to be aware that over the counter meds can impact the CNS.  I'm sure others can report on other medications to watch out for.  Also, one ought to be careful of over the counter sleep aids, some of which may impact the GABA area.  Even herbal remedies such as valerian ought to be avoided in my opinion.  I have read that some who have had more moderate to severe sleep troubles after stopping the benzo, have done ok with an occasional benedryl.  Hopefully one has a benzo friendly doctor who can discuss options if sleep is still a big problem. The focus here is not to recommend sleep aids.  If possible, hopefully one can avoid them, at least in the first couple months of being off the benzo, in my laymen view.  Sleep is tricky and if one is sleep deprived for too long, it can lead to problems and even psychosis. Some folks who need an antidepressant, have benefited from choosing one that can also help with sleep. I have heard of mixed results (hit or miss) with medication such as remeron or trazondone.  Trazodone was originally an older a/d which evolved into more of a sleep aid than a/d but it may have some antidepressant impact.  I was always fearful of the priapism side effect so I never tried it.  If I were to try something back in the day when things were rougher sleepwise, I probably would have gone with remeron low dose.  I recall that you Pange were taking remeron at one point and managed to lower the dose to a couple milligrams.  I wonder if you ever were able to wean off it?  I am not a doctor and would suggest those with significant sleep troubles, find a good doctor to discuss it with.

 

Anyway, apart from sleep or cold medicines, I want to comment on one other thing about setbacks.  As one gets to a year or more off the benzo, it is only natural that one might push oneself a little harder.  In some cases, that might mean going back to work or trying a part time job if one wasn't already working through the ordeal.  In other cases, it might mean taking on more projects or more responsibility at work as Pangelingua has done or maybe a move.  One may also tend to feel like one can challenge oneself a little more with travel, getting out more, or even being more daring with some foods one may have avoided, including caffeine, alcohol...  The point is that whether it is at six months, a year or perhaps two years off, it seems natural that as one challenges oneself a little more, that the potential for both success and setback is there, even if it is only temporary.  Let me be clear that I do not advocate alcohol or caffeine intake.  It is a personal decision to make as to whether one wants to consume those at some point in post benzo recovery.

 

I am in no way suggesting that one not challenge oneself, out of fear of a setback.  In fact, quite the opposite.  I think it is a good thing to try and get out and do more as one starts to feel stronger.  I also think it can be helpful to either get some therapy or read up on some ways to manage stress better so that one can be more prepared for stress.  I am an advocate of mindfulness approaches such as those by Jon Kabat-Zinn.  I recently read a book by the author of The Happiness Trap (which I've mentioned here from time to time).  The book I read recently is also by Russ Harris, called "The Reality Slap".  It's a good read in my opinion. 

 

  It is true that I paid a price for resuming alcohol and junk foods too early (at around 6-8 months off the benzo) as I posted earlier.  At 14 months, I gave in to my family and agreed to get a puppy, knowing it could lead to some issues.  I had been avoiding getting a dog for a couple years, particularly during a stressful period when my father was ill with cancer.  At a certain point, I bit the bullet, knowing that there would be an impact on my sleep and also I am pretty particular about dog training so I knew it would be stressful to get the dog and make sure it became trained to my liking.  So no surprise that I had a setback for a month or so, mostly sleep related but I also spiked anxiety for a couple months (six weeks).  However, I am glad we got the dog.  He is a great pet and adds a lot of warmth and love in our home and he is well behaved! 

 

One last anecdote to report on setbacks.  Last Spring at about 2 years off the benzo, an opportunity came up to coach my son's sports team.  I had never coached before and this was a big step for me to do.  It was either volunteer or my son's team would have been disbanded because of having no coach.  It did cause some adrenalin surges on game days and some sleep upset, but it was overall a good experience to get out and be more active in my son's life and to try something new.  The point is that we all find ways to challenge ourselves in life, whether pre or post benzo.  I think the more one forges ahead and puts oneself in uncomfortable positions, one can draw on strength one may not have realized one has.  An important point of ACT approaches to therapy as in the Reality Slap book mentioned above, is that we don't have to eliminate painful sensations, anxiety or any of that to move forward with our lives in areas that are of value to us.  We can learn new ways to relate to stress, anxiety, or whatever ailment (depression or something else). 

 

A number of  folks have asked me from time to time if something is "normal" in terms of getting a setback so far out or for too many weeks or even months.  First, I am no expert.  I am just a fellow traveller on this forum.  For what it's worth,  I think there is no "normal" when it comes to post benzo recovery.  We all seem to have our own unique path to follow.  Some take more time than others, some have a longer setback than others, but I truly believe that most will heal and recover.  I could post a couple pages on what recovery meant to me,  but I've done that at various points in this thread already.

 

  In summary, one can compare one's health to pre benzos, during taper and look at how things are at various points after benzo freedom.  There seems to be various stages of recovery, which often ebb and flow and may not likely be the same for everyone.  I have found that most seem to do pretty well by 3-12 months off the benzo.  That may not mean "100%" but some have reported high percentages of recovery by six months to a year out.  Some stubborn symptoms may persist for a while longer.  Some folks seem to have a more complicated history, perhaps more stress in their life (workwise or perhaps relationship wise) that takes recovery challenge into years two and three.  One's level of emotional and psychological maturity could also impact how one heals. Recovery was not linear for me.  I think if one expects setbacks along the way, it can be a healthy approach.  Be gentle with yourselves.  You've been through a lot to get benzo free.  A little self compassion and kindness can go a long way.  Don't beat yourself up if  you are not as far along as you'd like at this point.  You can and will get better.  Keep the faith and do the best you can.  If you have a setback, accept it and try to ride it out.  I can only say that for me, it was worth it and that I will never take a benzo again.

 

Best wishes and God Bless,

 

Vertigo

[[pa...]]

Hi V! Well posted as always

 

I'm off work today, so I'm spending some time here.

My cold seems somewhat better than yesterday. I was pretty weak and fatigued throughout yesterday.

After posting here, I rested on the couch for an hour or so before bedtime.

 

I wanted to comment on cold medicines and others.

Although my wife is has never used benzos, she is very sensitive to medicines of any kind. So, she always buys the chest congestion medicine with Guaifenesin. Also, childrens allergy medicine similar to benedryl. I've never had any bad reactions to these. Anything stronger, my wife won't buy. Apart from myself (and possible CNS post benzo reactions you describe), my wife tends to get pretty dizzy when using stronger ones.

I suppose it's helpful to have a spouse with medicine sensitivity when your in benzo recovery!

Also, there was a anti-biotic I took last month for 5 days. Unfortunatley, I don't recall the name. It did cause me stomach upset and some dizziness. I had a bad allergy/sinus problem come on.

 

Our neighbors seem to have vacated their property and I discovered tons of moldy leaves in their yard. I took allergy medicine, spent some days getting rid of the leaves, and my symptoms cleared up. Today, I go in for allergy testing. Many years ago, I had a bad allergic reaction to amoxycilin that caused me a severe attack of hives all over my face and chest. Also, labored breathing. I was out of work for 5 days in recovery.

As a young child, my Mom has told me that I suufered from horrible fevers that came on after we moved into a new house. The only thing that would kill the fever was taking me out late at night for a shot.

I'm thinking that I have a severe allergy to mold. Hence, the antibiotic. We'll see how the testing goes today...

 

I concur with your analysis of setbacks post benzo. I will say that my first year off (2010) started off well. However, by the end of the year, I started having difficulties. First, I started a remeron taper after 5 months off. I now realize that was a mistake for me. I probably should have waited a year. Also, job hours/shifts have never been steady, although the last 4 months, I've been holding down full time plus, mostly day shifts.

 

The night shifts person has been flacky for awhile due to health and personality issues. He would start calling in last minute and so I would be getting phone calls last minute to work his shift. This would be fine except his shift lasts until 2:45am, causing me to have to shift sleep hours back and forth. I have had some insomnia issues particularly from Jan-Mar 2011. That was the worst!

 

I did bounce back after going to low amounts of remeron (about 4mg daily). I'm still on that medicine. Eventually, I plan to stop but I want to wait until work hours have settled.

 

Again V, thanks for all you do! I'll be checking the forum from time to time throughout the day.

Hope everyone is doing well!

 

 

[[pa...]]

Just got back from allergy test appt.

They did the pricking test using histamine and several allergens.

I reacted most to molds and dust which doesn't surprise me!

No extreme reactions though. So, doctor recommends Claretin and flonase nasal spray.

I was using the flonase before, but I seemed to get some sxs from it.

 

This will only be done in case of bad allergy/sinus problems should they occur. For now, raking and hauling off vacant neighbor's leaves seems to have done the trick!

 

The doctor also said that I have flu like symptoms. This despite the flu shot I got last November. In any case, it's probably milder than it would have been!

 

That's all for now. I'll check back the forum later when I have more time...