Post Benzo Freedom Withdrawal Support Group

[[Mr...]]

Will his healing someday happen?  It is really hard to be seeing procress and now it's like we are starting all over again.  I find stories of people saying you never heal. That permanent damage has been done, and then there are others that say you continue to heal no matter how long it takes.  Some stories I have found say that this could keep coming back 15 or 20 years down the road.  Do you know if this is true?  He is starting to have windows again.  Is this a good sign of what is to come? 

[[Ne...]]

Dear Mrs. B..I know that fear...but IT IS A FEAR..and yes, I, too, have read that recovery may be a life long process.  BUT THE SUCCESS STORIES OUTWEIGH THE NEGATIVE ONES.  There are many afflictions that cause flashbacks..  Mr. B. is so fortunate to have you by his side.  Love is the key to all recoveries..blessings, NewLife 

[[Ke...]]

Been on Benzo’z (Oxazepam) for 40 years on and off --started off taking them to keep me in a stressful job and they seemed (at the time) a useful safe (another laugh) pill to take to keep one functioning in this stressful world.  I am claustrophobic so the pill helped me there –just 5mg twice a day or less the last year or so and not taken at specific times and as and when I considered I needed them to limit (that’s a laugh) dependency.

 

Started getting odd muscle spasms, finding I had to concentrate to walk and balance etc.  plus bad cramps and sleep disturbances some 2 to 3 months ago. A Quinine tablet a night helped the cramps however  after looking at a blog on Benzos  decided that it was time to quit –didn’t see how tapering would help as I was getting symptoms  anyway.

 

Hell after being off them for three days —better after 10 days with many of the annoying side effects going away; which I had not put down to benzos but my age, I am 71

 

At about the same time I had an eye test which showed up no eye problems as such including a field test however six weeks later (still off benzos) I noticed a blind patch by chance in my left eye whilst passing a finger over that eye.

 

Yes I was/am aware of having odd vision disturbances from taking the drug which I, without (I now know) being fully conscience of the fact, adjusted to.

 

Straight to optician and yes there was loss of vision – saw specialist who said yes I had lost some peripheral vision and diagnosed glaucoma and prescribed a eye pressure reducing drug.

 

No problem as such then a problem after coming off benzos –don’t like coincidences.

 

After some considerable deliberation took 5mm twice one day to see if it made any difference not, I suppose, surprising it didn’t and fortunately it did not put me back on my withdrawal from the drug, so far, but time will tell.

 

Apart from regular eye tests (which I have) I do not know what I could have done differently except come of the drug a long time ago. 

 

Where from here – monitor the situation.

 

[[gi...]]

Mrs B - There is no rhyme or reason why and how this affects everyone differently;while on, coming off, or being off - and no absolute result and no time frame for complete healing. Research has shown that only 10-15% of people who come off it suffer withdrawal after 18 months, however.  Only 10-15% of those continue into protracted withdrawals, that Ashton has documented, which can continue at 3+ years. Thankfully, this is a small portion of people; sadly, your husband and I, are two of them. (There are very few still with benzo damage at 3+ years out on this board.)

 

The inability for the CNS to respond well to stress seems to be a certain long-term result, at least from all the research I've done and my experience here. But, again, how the CNS then reacts: a hard & protracted resurgence of symptoms ("bad wave") or a mild resurgence of only 1-2 symptoms  is completely random.  But the fact of the matter remains that eventually the "window" never closes, and that's what we all need to focus on.

 

I don't think any of us probably ever let go of the fear that we could get slammed again.  I think that's why we all have PTSD about our experience. How can we not?

 

I can't fathom how incredibly difficult this is for you both. Considering how long he's been off I strongly urge you to take my earlier advice and go see a neurologist, psychologist or your PCP. I don't know if it'd be better news if this was benzo damage or if it is another problem, but I think eliminating any other possibility is essential. 

 

Please try to limit yourself to the success stories and threads like this one.

 

Stay strong!

 

ginger

[[gi...]]

Keep Trying -

 

Welcome to the forum, and congratulations for getting off benzos at your age!

 

Did I read correctly, that you took 10 mg/day for 40 years and then cold turkeyed - and lived to tell the tale?!  Wow, that's really incredible!  And you're so lucky that your experiment with reinstating didn't backfire.  There's a 7-10 day window for success without adverse effects for reinstatement.  You are one lucky man!

 

Yes, all you can do is just hang tight and see how you go.  I know of only one person here who after 4 years continues to have vision problems. She doesn't have floaters, though. Benzo-induced peripheral neuropathy comes in all ways.  I hope yours clear up soon.

 

Keep posting!

 

ginger

[[Ne...]]

I cannot help but notice that there has not been any activity on this thread for several days..pretty much since Vertigo morphed back into his new real life.  I, for one, miss the contact with those who have won the first battle...No Mo Benzos...blessings, New Life

[[sa...]]

 

You are a mind reader NL, I was looking for this thread...well for a month now! ha

 

Want to read through when I have both eyes open.

 

 

[[gi...]]

I know for me, not getting responses to my posts keeps me from posting more here.

 

I'm in V's shoes, though. I think on my 4th anniversary I'm going to jump of this forum.

 

Be well!

 

g

[[Me...]]

i'm benzo free for 11 days now.  Not too bad.. might jump the forum sooner tha 4 years!

 

I wouldn't have time for it once I go back to work anyway.

 

I am doing alright so far.. wish that I could deal with the anxiety better.

 

Anyone have tricks that are not benzodiazapines?  What worked for you?

 

[[sa...]]

Hey Memories!!

 

Congrats, 11 days!!!  That's awesome. 

 

Anxiety is a hard one. Yoga is very helpful to me for staying balanced from anxiety. I also use positive thinking, as corny as that sounds. When anxious thoughts start to try to take over, I combat them with positivity, almost to an annoying level of such. I really kick it into full "glass is half full" gear.

 

If it becomes so overwhelming and I feel it working itself into a panicy feeling, I begin breathing imagining I am breathing in whatever color I color is comforting to me (green for me, but you could chose whatever is comforting to you) and breath out the anxiety identified by whatever color you would imagine the bad stuff. ( imagine red) and after a few minutes of concentrating on breathing out the bad and in the good, I find I have relaxed a bit.

 

Then of course the obvious, try to get you life to a place that is low anxiety if you can. I eliminated 2 friendships that were so challenging. They had their fun times, too but more often then not, the thought of what they might do or how they might act was just too much. I feel so much more peaceful knowing that I am in control of not having to be exposed to the inevitable confusion that was the relationship with these people....oh, and I don't celebrate thanksgiving anymore, not traditionally anyway.

 

I am super proud of you for getting through this I think your anxiety will naturally ease up the longer you are off.

 

Be well, Memories. Have a good and low stress week

 

Love,

Sarah

[[gi...]]

Memories,

 

I practice deep breathing, mindfullness, tai chi and, when I'm particularly bad shape, emdr. I can tell when I wake up how I'm going to respond anxiety-wise to my morning coffee so often I make it weaker and/or only have 1 cup instead of 2-3.  I became mindful of my food triggers as well.  Sugar makes me very anxious, so I plan my sweets for when I can distract myself and ride out the wave when it hits.

 

I was put on klono for panic attacks & anxiety disorder, and going off klono naturally made it worse. But, I'm handling it better now than I ever did on any drug - so it's possible.  Deep breathing is essential.

 

Hang in there -

 

ginger

[[Me...]]

I have EMDR tomorrow.  I find it so hard to be vulnerable.  I tried making myself cry last night and I squeezed out one tear!  I can't remember what horrible thought that did the trick!

 

So I will see how that goes.  I have these mild annoying headaches. 

 

I keep wondering why my life can't feel awesome even though it is actually pretty awesome!  I just checked in with an old physio who I saw two years ago and boy, I know I have improved a mountain since them.  I have a lot to be greatful for!

 

All this seems so much harder than just taking a pill.  I do a lot already too... it is also hard to imagine doing more.  Why isn't what I am doing working yet?  I have a wonderful relaxation class to go to Thursday afternoons.  She is quite amazing and they do Reiki as well while I relax.  It is tremendous!

[[gi...]]

Hey Memories,

 

Some days are harder than others; that goes for benzo as well as non-benzo heads. It seems like you've got some good habits establishing, though (the relaxation group, emdr, etc.); in time they'll become second nature.  When I feel an anxiety attack coming on I start applying as many modalities as I can until the attack passes.  It used to wear me out but now it's all second nature.

 

It's always easier to take a pill for anything, be it depression, anxiety, insomnia, mood swings, obesity, type II diabetes, cholesterol - than it is to just treat the problem.  That's why Big Pharma is so big!   

 

It's funny how for every one of those conditions, a change in diet and the addition of an exercise regimen usually corrects the problem!   

 

Hang in there!

 

ginger

[[Ne...]]

I know for me, not getting responses to my posts keeps me from posting more here.I'm in V's shoes, though. I think on my 4th anniversary I'm going to jump of this forum.

 

Hello Ginger,  I assume it is a very healthy decision to move beyond the benzo drama..but your perspective and support is such a levelling force for those of us who, though successful in banishing benzos from our lives, are limping toward total healing.  Blessings, NL

[[Ne...]]

i'm benzo free for 11 days now.  Not too bad...wish that I could deal with the anxiety better.

Anyone have tricks that are not benzodiazapines?  What worked for you?

 

Applause to you, Memories.  Sorry to say, no tricks, no treats 

 

I truly pray that your post-benzo experience is short and if not sweet, at least easy on the heart.  NL

[[ih...]]

Hi all, not in good shape today. 2 nights of very broken sleep & benzo flu is back, right before my exams. Maybe exercising my brain hard is too stressful for my CNS.

[[sa...]]

Hey you guys,

 

If this was posted earlier but what is emdr?

 

Ginger, I couldn't agree more about diet and some exercise. I love yoga, its like magic for me. I just got a new blender yesterday too, that helps me keep my fresh fruit intake up.

 

My son is getting into healthy diet, I love that he asked me about it. He is only 12. 

 

Hi Ihope, you posted while I was posted. I am sorry you aren't sleeping, and before an exam. Perhaps you can just stay calm, resign yourself to rest if you can't sleep and do your best. Bless your heart. I know I kept saying that I would rather not have to do anything during this time, but I have to work (granted my work is easy) but I am a single Mom and have a lot of responsibilities. Some days I do good, some days I don't.

 

You can only do the best you can, you know?

 

I am a "get comfy" insomniac. If I wake up and can't bet back to sleep in 30 min, I just lay there and rest. I have a super comfy bed, and my fan on me. I like the constant sound of the fan. Also, I get heating pads for achy bones, or would take a warm shower, make a cup of chamomile tea. I really tried not to stress about it, takes practice. Did you have insomnia issues before? These are just some ideas, maybe there is something i there that you hadn't thought of.

 

I hope you get some good rest and if not, perhaps you will feel unusually fine tomorrw and do well on your exam. In fact, imagine yourself acing it, see it. Good luck, ihope. You got it.

 

Hugs!

Sarh

 

 

 

[[ih...]]

Thanks for your kindness Sarah. For better or worse, my withdrawals have always been the same, both after the cold turkey and the taper, ( thankfully much milder after the taper).

 

I have had very minimal psychological sx but get this benzo flu with weakness, aching, swollen glands, blah blah. The other is the insomnia but that has also been much less persistent this time. The trouble with the flu sx is they are not susceptible to my meditation or anything else that I can figure.  Even though to one extent, its in my head, it feels like a real flu & I can't manage much at all.

 

You are right that ther's no point worrying, if I don't improve, I may be eligible for a deferred exam. The pressure is that i need get a perfect GPA to get  the clinical place, I am chasing.

 

EMDR is a technique to emotionaly desensitise you from over-reacting to stimuli & hopefully free you from unhelpful patterns. I don't have any personal experience but would consider it if I had anxiety or PTSD.

[[Ne...]]

Hi all, not in good shape today. 2 nights of very broken sleep & benzo flu is back, right before my exams. Maybe exercising my brain hard is too stressful for my CNS.

 

Dear Hope, I just read your signature...good gracious..I, too, have had more tragedies that I want to remember...and yet we do keep on keeping on.  Oh dear yes..benzoflu..almost constant for two days..also the worst kind of sleep..groggy toxic..my heart goes out to you, to all of us who come together here where there is no need to defend anything...blessings, NL

[[ih...]]

Thanks so much, New Life & I am sorry that you are familiar with benzo flu. The weird thing is that pre bzs, I never used to get the flu at all but have sure made up for that.

 

Any post bz peeps having a good long window?

[[...]]

Hello ihope

 

Have read your signature how did you cope,I see you had palps and that is what I am having they wake me up it is only the past few days and I have been tapering two meds at the same time Valium and Remeron AD and it has been suggested that I stop and hold on the tapering,how on earth did you c/t and cope.

 

I ended up in psych hospital when I c/t and they gave me more pills saying I was depressed when it was actually w/d I was going through.

 

DD

[[ih...]]

Hi Dd8, sorry about your palps, they are no fun.  This time round, my md prescribed clonidine which has made all the difference.  It works for the palps but also reduces the adrenaline surges which burn out my adrenals & result in bz flu crashes. I do have bz flu today but attacks are much less frequent than pre clonidine & i have also been on antibiotics for 3 weeks which my GI system is most unhappy about.

[[gi...]]

 

If this was posted earlier but what is emdr?

 

 

 

emdrnetwork.org/description.html

 

 

My son is getting into healthy diet, I love that he asked me about it. He is only 12. 

 

 

That's fantastic!  Hopefully this is a sign that the next generation is going to be healthier than the current one!

[[gi...]]

Hi all, not in good shape today. 2 nights of very broken sleep & benzo flu is back, right before my exams. Maybe exercising my brain hard is too stressful for my CNS.

 

I know that for me, my CNS has/had a really hard time learning new things, studying and testing.  I took a class a couple years ago and could barely read 5 pages before I'd literally pass out, a victim of my flight-or-fight reflex and my brain's inability to cope with taking in new info.

 

My second class was better. I actually studied, and learned, without much effort.  My exam, however, was brutal. It was a take at home thing, and it took me over 10 hours to get through.  Still, I didn't pass with flying colors. I passed, but not as well as I should have.

 

Sadly my retention just sucks and I've forgotten most of what I learned, but luckily I have my books to fall back on and I continually read on the subjects.

 

Acceptance: blah blah blah; Accommodation: blah blah blah!!

 

Hang in there. It gets better!!

 

ginger

[[Su...]]

Vertigo..quick question...  My naturopath gave me a product called Kavinace in the early days of withdrawal..it made me so much worse at the time!  I quit taking it of course, but as I taper off my Trazodone (down to 35mgs from 100mgs) I decided to try it again...well it worked AMAZINGLY!  But that scares me a bit...I have taken it now about once a week for several weeks and each time I am out like a light all night long...so I wonder if you have heard about it and if it's something I should avoid.

 

On the bottle it says it "promotes sleep and reduces anxiousness by supporting GABA".  It has 2mgs of B6 and Thera Mix 4 (taurine and 4-amino-3 phenylbutyric acid)

 

Let me know what you think!