12-18 month support

[[ga...]]

Nova....thanks for the encouragement.  So glad to hear you are getting some rest.  I know the anxiety is tough to deal with but you always have always will!

 

I got a few hours of sleep last night.  Still not feeling myself...kind of out of body type stuff.  Just kind of struggling from day to day.  No anxiety or true depression which is a positive.  Maybe the d/r and d/p kind of thing.  One day at a time.  I will be working quite a bit the next couple of weeks and again doing my best to go one day at a time.  I hate worrying about how I will function if I do not sleep.  THat is counterproductive and just not worth spending time on.

 

Thanks again.

[[Co...]]

Nova, ...Happy that you had those 3 days....very sorry that you are swimming in the soup today. I had a day of anxiety yesterday but pretty decent sleep last night.. Hope the day opens up for good things for both of us...carry on friend....coop

[[No...]]

Hi Coop ... yep ... back at the slow slog ... just going to hang out and hang on today ... not much enthusiasm ...

 

Don't need to do anything today ... think I will keep it that way ...

 

Hope you are having a good morning ...

[[No...]]

Garton ... 

[[No...]]

Beulah ... good to hear you are feeling better ... hope you found some honey ... 

[[Gr...]]

Green ... mid-summer last year and into the fall I was walking some good distance most days of the week ... 15 - 20 km some days ...

 

Then late fall and winter set in  ... and this winter really bothered me for the first time ... I usually enjoy winter and can be out in it without difficulty ... seems I just had other things to do this winter ... and all the ice did not help ... which is very unusual for these parts ...

 

M, I know you just got started after the long winter, and all of the snow, but how are you doing right now?  15-20km is some serious good distance, you're a real walker, lol.  I definitely have some issues getting back into it.  I would chalk it up to age, except Jenny mentioned it.  I think it's lack of energy and lack of stamina, and I'm hoping this passes.  I very much miss those good long walks

[[No...]]

Green ... I believe the energy and stamina will return ... when it is ready ... in the meantime I go for a while ... rest a bit ... and go again ... the motion and rhythm are soothing ...

 

And when I am comfortable, it feels like "me" ... the one I remember ...

[[So...]]

Hi Gang, i have a very nice day yesterday and the night before as well.  Tuesday afternoon I had my first tapping session (also called TFT for Thought Field Therapy) with a very nice woman who's been doing it a long time and has lots of experience.  She has worked with others in benzo withdrawal so that was comforting to have her truly understand.  After the session I went home and was honestly the most relaxed and feeling calm as I've been in I can't remember when.  I was able to sleep until 6:30am, which I had not done in a long time as well.  Then yesterday was good.  I was thinking more positively and had my confidence.  Was able to take my daughters to lunch after school and truly enjoy it.

 

As the day went on those ingrained obsessive thoughts started to trickle in.  I did some of the tapping routines I'd just learned and went to bed.  I woke up in a panic at 1:30am.  I started the tapping but could find no relief.  My negative mind told me this tapping doesn't work and that I'm stuck.  Now how in the world can I see proof something works a day earlier and then the next day I can't see it!  Grrr!

 

So I'm all wound up again today with the negative thoughts, etc.  Just venting. 

[[dr...]]

looks like we have an upswing for some buddies on our thread!

 

Socal-that is not abnormal that it would work like that.  it takes time and practice to get the effect of EFT to work each time.  Just keep practicing and even if it only works 1/5Th of the time that is 20% more relief than now.

 

I had a bad night of sleep and woke up with stuffed head like crazy.  I blew my nose and some blood came out...just pink and my catastrophe alarm went off   I immediately caught my crazy ass thoughts and asked myself why would it be a hemorrhage and not just irritated nose lining? 

the simplest least deadly reason will most likely be it.  I calmed myself down very quickly before I lost it.  Not sure if it is due  to recovery, migraine stuff, or some allergy but the source isn't important as all i can do is wait it out.  Head pressure so bad I did take 2 Tylenol.  Have a good morning/day/night all.   

[[So...]]

Hey Drew, I get blood in my snot (gotta be blunt!) frequently as I have allergies.  That's all it is is irritated nasal lining. 

 

Thanks for giving me much needed perspective on the TFT (it's an easier form of EFT).  I'm panicking over nothing but you guys understand how it feels to do that right now.  I'm putting pressure on the process - that this is my last chance to get better and "what if" it doesn't work?  But it did already work.  My body simply panicked early this morning.  And then when you're the only one awake you only have your crazy thoughts for company and we know what they do!

 

I see that when I have too much time to think that my analytic mind runs wild.  Our analytic mind is not our true self or wisdom.  It likes to worry and be negative.  I've listened to that mind much too often.

[[be...]]

Beulah ... good to hear you are feeling better ... hope you found some honey ... 

 

Nova, I've been waiting on a honey shipment from you....what's the hold up?

[[be...]]

Hey Drew, I get blood in my snot (gotta be blunt!) frequently as I have allergies.  That's all it is is irritated nasal lining. 

 

Thanks for giving me much needed perspective on the TFT (it's an easier form of EFT).  I'm panicking over nothing but you guys understand how it feels to do that right now.  I'm putting pressure on the process - that this is my last chance to get better and "what if" it doesn't work?  But it did already work.  My body simply panicked early this morning.  And then when you're the only one awake you only have your crazy thoughts for company and we know what they do!

 

I see that when I have too much time to think that my analytic mind runs wild.  Our analytic mind is not our true self or wisdom.  It likes to worry and be negative.  I've listened to that mind much too often.

 

You don't know blunt..till you have read my posts in acute....whew!!

 

 

 

[[ON...]]

Hi OneDay....well...you definitely have good company here...many of us feeling " back at acute" somewhere between month 15 and 18...You will find huge support here .

..15 months is a long way to travel. The last leg is hard...we are worn out by this...old sx come back, waves can be long ..sometimes we doubt the process..

So many times we read in the success stories that people experience one or two last big waves late in the second year , right before things turn around...We are all hoping for that....jump right on....and welcome to you....coop

 

Thank you! Good to know I am not alone even though I would never wish upon my worst enemy! This is unbelievable torture, i wonder how my body can make it through this at times, I am 5'9" male and weigh in at 130 with sweatpants and shoes on, but yeah like you said i've heard many people having the mother of all waves around this time and heal shortly after, lets do this!!

[[ON...]]

Thanks novascotia and greenice as well for the kind words!

[[So...]]

I'm getting the shakes today.  My body is shaking with excess energy.

[[No...]]

SoCaler ... that is a hard one ... and these do pass eventually ... sometimes all we can do is wait them out ...

 

Be Well ...

[[No...]]

Hi ... had a pretty lousy day and this evening is shaping up to be messy ... having the faux asthma off and on ... and the benzo belly stuff ... and lots of floating in and out ,,, mostly a yuk day ...

[[Co...]]

Nova....so sorry...hope this is a short stint...I am thinking of you and supporting you ....I am right there with you and Drew and SoCal....anxiety, dizzy and d/dr...on the bed all afternoon ...just waiting for it to move on...tinnitus that I haven't had 8n weeks....and around and around we go. Better days will come again.. take care dear friend....coop

[[Co...]]

SoCal.  The shakes are common in this. I didn't have them in acute....or any other time until month 16. They eventually let up on thier own. Do you have the chills with them? ...Anxiety?.  Try anything that is distracting...it will pass and you will be ok.. .so sorry you are getting hit with this miserable sx... sending thoughts of healing to you.  .coop

[[So...]]

Thanks Coop.  I had such a nice day yesterday that it's beyond frustrating when the symptoms come right back.  I don't have the chills but bad anxiety and feel warm all over.

[[Co...]]

Drew, .. boy, anxious minds think alike.

I have had the exact same panic trigger to finding streaks of blood in my nose junk....I know how it is to just get hijacked by physical sx that take you straight to panic. I am in the same place today with health fears off the rails ...dizziness that makes me want to stay flat ...I hate this sx worst of all.  Health fear.. it just runs away with us. I have been having some luck with 4-7-8 breathing...distraction when I can concentrate and self talk when I can get a word in edgewise around the Benzo voices. 

.....So sorry you are going through this Drew, after a stretch of good days.  I am thinking of you....coop

[[No...]]

Hi Coop ... yep ... nothing really hard or nasty going on ... just boooooooooooooring ...

 

Can't seem to get attached to anything today so have just been floating around ...flitting from one thing to another ...

 

Oh well ... it is what it is ...

 

Sorry you have been on the bed this afternoon ...

[[No...]]

Coop ... btw ... I don't seem to even have the energy for health fears ... maybe that's a good thing ... 

[[Co...]]

Nova, that is a good thing...I get to that place sometimes too...just too tired of it to care anymore...for awhile...it is kind of a nice little reprieve from it...puts some distance on the mental merry go round... take care Nova....coop

[[No...]]

Coop ... I think it has been just over a year since I came on to BB ... 3000 posts ... hmmm ... and I don't even remember most of it ... way back then everything seemed so moment to moment and intense ...

 

Now, sometimes it feels like it stretches out into week to week or month to month ... healing sure is something I really had no idea about before I started down this path ...

 

Sure has been a damn hard way to learn how to restore a life ...

 

Oh well, and it has had some "amusing" moments as well ...