12-18 month support

[[Ch...]]

Not much sleep.  I think it's from the cold I have.  Just so fatigued and worn out.

 

I had a couple of viruses during my recovery.  It's most definitely a double whammy… the w/d symptoms team up with the little viri bugs to make your life doubly miserable.

 

Trust me on this.  It really does make us feel at least twice as bad as normal when sick.

[[Co...]]

Hi Challis....yes, kind of...I pile on a couple of old heavy quilts with hot packs rolled up in towels to put around my neck...it helps. ...Challis, thanks for coming on the thread with us...your encouragement goes a long way. .so great that you are so well..I will be holding onto that today.  coop

[[Ch...]]

Hi Challis....yes, kind of...I pile on a couple of old heavy quilts with hot packs rolled up in towels to put around my neck...it helps. ...Challis, thanks for coming on the thread with us...your encouragement goes a long way. .so great that you are so well..I will be holding onto that today.  coop

 

My best go-to item in withdrawal was a flax and lavender stuffed heat wrap.  I made it myself…shaped like a boomerang so it would lay around my neck or on my chest or abdomen.  It weighed about 3 lbs so the weight itself helped with anxiety and I'd walk around with it on.

 

You can make one at home by filling a tube sock with a couple of pounds of rice and tying the top shut.  2 1/2 to 3 minutes in the microwave will give 25 minutes of warm, moist heat.

 

Here's one I made: 

 

http://i1261.photobucket.com/albums/ii589/challis99/wrap_zpsbwzta3h6.jpg

[[So...]]

Sas, I also find myself planning things as soon as I have a window and am feeling better.  Then, when we have our "magical transformations" during the night, waking up and wishing I hadn't planned things.

 

Coop, sorry you're feeling bad.  I'm right there with you.  Got about 2 hours of sleep myself.  Then depressing and gloomy thoughts paid a visit.

[[be...]]

Challis, thanks for sharing the heat wrap. Did you use lavender oil in the wrap?

It looks easy enough to make. I do have several bags of rice laying around...might make it today...my neck would thank me.

[[Co...]]

Sas,...we are on the same track.. yestwrday was a good day for me...I even planned a parenting workshop.  ( just 8n my head and on paper....I am far from making any commitments )..but I felt so encouraged.  Today.. benzo flu after a sleepless night. Like you, sometimes it gets better in the aftwrnoon.. It's good to know that it's only w/d and will get better again...it always triggers my health fears intensly.. .Wishing you a better afternoon....coop

[[Sk...]]

Hey, good morning, everyone.  Amazingly, it's morning, and I'm awake!  Went to sleep at 1:30 a.m., like a normal person, and woke up around 9.    I have symptoms, mild, though, tired, weak, like a convalescent, mildly hung over, I've got the nausea, head-achy, mild dizziness.  no anxiety.  I know it's coming, because you all have it.  I guess this is kind of a window?  but the real miracle is the sleep.  Two days in a row.  It feels like I'm part of the human race, on everyone else's schedule.  If I had a little more energy, I'd do a victory lap.  This is big.  I know it may not last, but it's a first for me, and it's a very good sign!

 

Have a great day, everyone

 

P.S.  this is also wonderful because it proves BB is right, we're right, that we have all these problems because of withdrawal, and we do get better, without psych meds, especially without psych meds.  and this is so exciting to contemplate, especially for those of us who have been drugged, sick, in tolerance for so many years.  we really are going to get better.  I can't get excited, it's too soon, but I am definitely emotional. 

 

SO happy for you !

[[be...]]

Ahh coop, sorry about the benzo flu.

 

I wish we all could be on a warm island somewhere helping each other through recovery.

Someone to prepare yummy healthy food for us from our own gardens.

We could stay up late and talk, laugh, cry and be with each other till we fell asleep at no certain time.

It doesn't hurt to dream!!

 

Back to reality, we must carry on with our lives as best we can....and keep doing it.

 

You might be able to sleep tonight after so little last night....keeping my fingers crossed.

[[dr...]]

woohooo Green!  some positive stuff on our thread....let the good times start for all of us....

 

I had a shitty night of sleep again.  Leg has been vibrating and restless leg syndrome.  Oh well...today I have a bit of heart racing and trouble breathing but I know it's the usual stuff which is withdrawal.  Annoying but it will pass

[[Co...]]

Beulah...I have had the same fantasy of a healing commune . Yes, a lovely warm island...peaceful and full of nature...a chef, a massage spa, a chapel, a library, a holistic health care practioner, a benzo wise therapist ( having gone through w/d a prerequisite )....a movie theater...aahhhh...minimum stay...18 months..I will sign up..

.....My benzo flu is somewhat better. Lots of negative heath thoughts...drive me crazy. I know the negative scary thoughts are w/d because I don't get them in a window. ..

....How are you doing today Beulah.?.....Are you starting to feel better ?....coop

[[So...]]

"I know the negative scary thoughts are w/d because I don't get them in a window..."

 

Coop, thanks for reminding me of this.  For some reason I'm being battered with any scary thought my mind can drum up.

[[Co...]]

Sas.. yep.  Before benzos I didn't know these scary thoughts were even possible. Do yours disappear in windows or bettervdays?..  Sas, it is very possible that we will wake up tomorrow to a much better day.  Hoping for that...coop

[[Gr...]]

Green - enjoy the window of health. They do validate us and we need that. If I never got them, I'd have no hope. They let us know that we will be fine when this is done. Likely better than we were before.

Sasq, thank you!  yes, it was a long, long 17th month.  I really did need a break.

 

Coop, thank you!

 

Sky, hope you are feeling better.  I lose posts all the time.  when something gets longish, if Im thinking I try to copy it

 

Drew, congrats on the engagement.  I wish you all the happiness in the world

 

Nova, you sound upbeat.  Hope you are.

[[Gr...]]

My day is starting out ....sick.. did I ever tell you how much I hate this....for all of us?....It's so cruel to have a good day and then...zip ...back to feeling awful. I am so grateful for that good day yesterday ...and so sad today..

.....My sleep last night was maybe 2 hours.  I just could not get comfortable ...still under the quilts being depressed ( not w/d depressed.. just depressed because of w/d) ..Maybe this will get better when I get up.. I have an eye exam today...no real anxiety about it.. but a lot of sick dread in my stomach ...Really holding on to the idea that this day could get better. I have had many days that start out like this and turn around by afternoon

.....Wishing everyone some decent sunbreaks....coop

 

Coop, don't let it get you down, try not to.  Even with improvements in sleep and clarity, I still don't feel well, like a malaise?  and tired.  I guess that's the last to go.

 

Doctor appointments.  I dread them all. I think it's a withdrawal symptom. 

[[dr...]]

thx green but I didn't ask yet. 

[[Gr...]]

woohooo Green!  some positive stuff on our thread....let the good times start for all of us....

 

I had a shitty night of sleep again.  Leg has been vibrating and restless leg syndrome.  Oh well...today I have a bit of heart racing and trouble breathing but I know it's the usual stuff which is withdrawal.  Annoying but it will pass

 

Drew, Sky, this does get better.  I really feel the shift.  Exceptin', like Coop, I've got other odds and ends.  It's exactly like Baylissa described it, you can feel that mental clarity -- and the sleep thing is HUGE.  I mean I couldn't function in the world with my sleep issues -- but I have to settle down and wait it out, the two years.  I'm thinking 20, 22, 24 months, for significant improvement.

 

And we also have to consider the fact, when we read success stories, some people hurry and write a success story as soon as they can, with plenty of residual issues, and some people wait until that very last symptom is gone, gone, gone.  some people suffer horribly, are bedridden, and some people are fairly functional.  this is so, so individual.  I am grateful.

[[dr...]]

yes..I definitely fall in the functional category.  Work full time, out every day running errands, and fror the most part appear normal to the outside world.  Even though this sucks worse than anything it can be worse.  We are just playing the waiting game.  There is no secret. 

[[Co...]]

Drew, glad you mentioned your breathing sx....I had a momentary sense of not being able to catch a whole breath yesterday. I have never had that before...it didn't come back but it scared me. You are really great with functioning with sx. Did your breathing and heart rate settle yet?...and the headache didn't come back?  You just sound good Drew...coop

[[Co...]]

Green...I am just so happy for you that you are getting normal sleep. You are so right about reading the success stories with an eye to detail. Some do write a success at 18 months or so and come back at 2 years and update more complete healing. Conzumed is a good example. He went through hell and wrote a success somewhere before year 2 because he was feeling so much better....but came back at year 2 with more complete healing. I am also not counting on anything less than 24 months. I do however want to see that defining shift in the next few months...hoping anyway..

...Green, I so hope you just keep moving forward without missing a beat.  Love to you friend....coop

[[No...]]

Hi Folks ... the goof has struck again ... was out twice today for good long walks ... with my walking sticks ... now my shoulders ache ... my knees are sore ... my nose is running ... 

 

Think I may have over done it a bit ... too bad ... gonna do it again tomorrow ...

 

I am retried ... got nothing better to do ... I figure I will get some revenge on the benzo beast by walking it to death ... 

 

Green ... you sound good ... 

 

Sorry to hear some are in the soup today ...

 

Challis ... thanks for the tip ... good to see you ...

 

Warm pasta with grilled veggies ... and fish ... and my knock your socks off tartar sauce ... dinner ...

 

Psst ... I know I will probably "pay" for this tomorrow ... and I don't care ... I have been cooped up for almost three months ... time to get the dust off ...

 

Have a good evening ... 

[[dr...]]

Drew, glad you mentioned your breathing sx....I had a momentary sense of not being able to catch a whole breath yesterday. I have never had that before...it didn't come back but it scared me. You are really great with functioning with sx. Did your breathing and heart rate settle yet?...and the headache didn't come back?  You just sound good Drew...coop

 

coop-I never had the breathing stuff til post jump.  That with the hr I think is my cycling for this run without the terible sinus and other stuff hitting.  I seem to get it for a few hours in waves each day.  That's my dealio for now.  No headadche but I feel it underneath but that's fine with me.  DR is here and I think that makes my vision stuff way more bothersome because the glasses are like another filter to my brain or something...who knows...no questioning drew here

 

I keeep getting stuff that used to set off panic like hr and breathing and I'm positive it's recovery so I am accepting

[[Co...]]

Nova...I think your walks will pay off. There are so many mornings and afternoons that I don't feel at all like going out into whatever is going on outside at 7am...but I have to because of my dog. More times than not it helps.

....Your dinner sounds so good. Would you please be a chef at the island healing commune that Beulah is wishing for...?

...can you post your " killer tarter sauce" recipe?....I bake salmon all the time...always looking for some new ways to fix it up....enjoy your dinner....coop

[[So...]]

Oooh, I LOVE Tartar Sauce!!!

 

Any of you have depth perception issues?  I was trying to play tether-ball with my wife the other day and couldn't hit the ball.  It was dusk as well so the shadows factored into it.

[[pe...]]

SoCaler,

My vision is a mess, including depth perception. I think it's related to dr but could be a stand alone. I feel more at ease when I'm not wearing my glasses. Something about focusing on an object is too much work for me.

 

Peace 2

[[dr...]]

SoCaler,

My vision is a mess, including depth perception. I think it's related to dr but could be a stand alone. I feel more at ease when I'm not wearing my glasses. Something about focusing on an object is too much work for me.

 

Peace 2

 

Focusing is what gets me too but surprisingly computers and reading are no problem.  Driving...looking ahead while walking...so weird