12-18 month support

[[Co...]]

Thanks for that encouragement Beulah. It is so good to know that others know the desperation of a wicked wave. I honestly don't know how any of us do this. We live on hope and encouragement, shared stories and the all too few breaks we get along the way. I don't know how people do this without the kind of support that shows up on this forum. Nobody could do this alone...

.....How are you tonight? ..Do you have a card game going? ..tea and honey?  Cinnamon rolls? ..Extra room on the couch?

....Beulah, I can't believe you have had the strength and courage to do this twice...bless you....coop

[[be...]]

Hey coop, just trying to distract away from my symptoms. I won't be able to finish all of the antibiotics but I will take what I can tolerate.

Got the faux asthma going on...I think that's what Nova calls it. My breathing has been off but this is the other breathing. My doc has assured me that I don't have asthma and that makes me feel better knowing it's withdrawal asthma.

 

Sure I got room on the couch..come on over. We can order pizza and have some girl talk or get a card game started. I've still got some carrot juice and ice cream so we have some snacks.

I will watch for you...be careful it's raining out.

[[dr...]]

Sorry you guys are all getting hit.  My window has now been open for five hours.  I needed something for a recipe and just ran out to the store to grab it. I'm usually exhausted on the couch at 9pm but I have a ton of energy. Almost the euphoric feeling. Uh oh... . Effortless mind is here right now

[[So...]]

Enjoy it Drew!

[[Co...]]

So glad for you Drew....enjoy...enjoy....coop

[[dr...]]

Yeah...I'm pretty sure it's the final stage of migraine.  Often people get a feeling of well being or euphoria.  Since I get so much anxiety during the migraine I'll take this though. I just want to get back to being even keeled. 

[[No...]]

Mike ... sometimes my left eye lid droops and half covers my eye ... and by the time I get to the mirror to look it is back in place ... crazy stuff ...

[[No...]]

Good Morning ... well ... looks like I missed another "posting night" ... I shut down before 8 pm my time and didn't get up until 4 AM ... not bad ... just shaking off the achy stuff of being asleep for so long ...

 

Can't remember who said what last night ... so ... yes ... the tug of the "sense of faux calmness" and the awareness that the drug is no longer a "safety net" ... a wise insight ...

 

Toxic naps ... yep ... I had them for like forever ... became "allergic" to napping ... now sometimes they are okay ... go figure ...

 

And ... for those of us in this hard wave cycle ... we just hang on ... and hang on ... and hang on ... there is no other "real" choice ... and the wisdom of BB is we all get through this ... no one gets left behind ...

 

A little shaky and jittery this morning ... and bit of the "unbalanced" feeling ... but hey, I have been "unbalanced" for 67 years, so what else is new? ... 

 

Don't worry, Green, your sense of humour is just napping ... it will arise again ... and again ...

 

And Coop ... if I am not allowed to use the word "wimp" neither are you ... there ain't a "wimpy" sinew in any of us ... we are the fortunate, lucky ones ... we will get through this ... all of us ...

 

Sky ... hope your "return trip" is a good one ... hope to hear from you tomorrow ...

 

Have a good Friday ... 

[[ON...]]

Good morning everyone! Yesterday morning was brutal but I went to my doctors appointment and he's going to run a ton of tests for me for peace of mind, he was actually asking me questions on Benzo withdrawal trying to find out more about it and even threw out the fact that many people on antipsychotics will develop tardive dyskenia for life and so he knows some of the dangers of meds. It was a great experience having a doctor open to learning new things, and I will be giving him the Ashton manual. He's testing my thyroid, lyme, checking for a tumor that can cause huge adrenaline surges throughout the day, a couple tests for muscle diseases, doing a ct scan, iron and b12 and testosterone. After doctors appointment my day was pretty damn good, I didn't sleep much last night and this morning is kind of rough but I'm hoping it clears out as the day goes on. Love yall.

[[So...]]

Glad I got some sleep last night.  Bed at 10pm and slept til 4:30am.  I'll take it.

 

Task negative thinking still.  Body aching and trembling.  I'll need encouragement today.

[[No...]]

SoCaler ... look in your mailbox ... sent a box of encouragement via fedex ... open slowly ... you never know ... 

[[So...]]

Thanks Nova! You're a good friend.

[[No...]]

ONEDAYATATIME ... it is so helpful and encouraging to have someone listen ... and then respond in a positive way ...

 

Hope all the testing gives you the peace of mind you are seeking ...

[[No...]]

Was out and about for about three hours this morning ... okay, all things considered ... this faux asthma stuff is a chore ...

 

Has not snowed for nine days ... I think the mini ice age is over around here ... 

 

Keep truckin' folks ...

 

 

[[dr...]]

good mornign all...Socal just go with the flow.  Don't fight it.  you will make it out of this like every time before.

 

my window was gone upon waking....the usual stuff.  Racing heart and breathlessness seem to be my go tos now.  this too shall pass.  have to work a bit. 

[[be...]]

Mike ... sometimes my left eye lid droops and half covers my eye ... and by the time I get to the mirror to look it is back in place ... crazy stuff ...

 

 

My right eyelid droops and when I try to lift it up it feels lazy and doesn't want to cooperate.

Crazy stuff..for sure.

 

[[So...]]

Hey guys,  I'm in my Psychiatrist's waiting room. Had to come in to get my refill for the 20mg Cymbalta i'm stuck on. I was put on that before Xanax. I don't want to wean off until this w/d is done.

 

So I loathe sitting here.  Just feel embarrassed  and weird. Judging myself.  Anyone relate?

[[ga...]]

SoCaler...Yes I can relate.  I remember those visits all to well.  Just feeling down and ashamed that I was still using these meds.  Questioning myself as to whether they were helping or hurting me.  I know you will get to the point were you can look at coming off the Cymbalta but doing the way you are doing it makes sense.  Good luck...my thoughts are with you.

[[No...]]

Coop ... I see you over on the other thread ... how are you doing? ... are you in panic mode again? ...

[[So...]]

Thanks Garton. The doctor just doesn'the think benzo withdrawl is real.  He did admit none of his patients come off it so how would he know about withdrawal. He doesn't believe is subscribing it for more than a couple weeks butold he gets many patients who were put on it longterm By a previous doctor.

[[Co...]]

Oh, hi Nova...didn't want to post all the drama here yet again.. yes another major panic this morning with spiked b/p.  Almost went to er....but it seems to be winding down.. lots of dizziness and nausea.. b/p is back to normal...ate some yogurt and honey..deep breathing...hanging out with my daughter...sering my physician next week just to check out everything... it just doesn't make sense to be having panics like this after so many months without.. but since when did w/d make any sense. I was losing the anticipatory fear of panics...trying to not let it sneak back into my life

...can I tell you how much I hate that I ever took a benzo...

....How are you doing Nova...out for 3 hours.. that is pretty darn good ...hope the sun is shining at your house....coop

[[No...]]

Coop ... the panic stuff will subside ... seems to be part of the late wave stuff for some of us ...

 

And it is damn lousy ... I have a good feeling for where you are ... I was there for several weeks until things seem to let up three or so weeks ago ... they will for you as well ...

 

I had a long stretch of the lousies during Feb and Mar ...

[[Co...]]

Thanks Nova...panic #2 is on its way now.. did your b/p keep going up and down...did your panics cascade...

[[No...]]

SoCaler ... what's to "judge" ... you are off the benzo and staying off and doing your recovery ... sounds pretty amazing to me ...

 

But hey, what do I know? ... all the professionals tell me withdrawal doesn't exist ... and with their gaze asks me what the fuss is all about ...

 

I am just a podunk from the sticks ... and then they tell me if I am having problems I should still be on the drug ...

 

And then real quietly I have been known to tell them that the only real problem I am having with the process is them and their incompetence ...

 

Other than that I am doing just fine, thank you very much, right on schedule ...

 

So, on we go ... I refuse to blame myself for this stuff ... the only mistake I made was taking their advice ... and now I am fixing that mistake ...

[[No...]]

Coop ... yep ... b/p would often rollercoaster with the panic ... pretty normal side effect I believe ... and harmless ...