The jumping buddies group

[[Bu...]]

Oh and G. I hope that dinner was fab!

 

B.

[[...]]

Dinner was wonderful!! Did some shopping after and had a great time!!

 

How are you Saga, DLW, Buddy? I hope you are sxs free and feeling great!! Everyone sounds busy!

 

Wishing a great day on each person!!

 

[[Bu...]]

I'm glad, G. Where abouts are you again? I thought you said Texas. What time is it there?

it's just gone 9.00am here.

Love B.

[[...]]

It's 6 am now, but I was up in the night again, so earlier when I posted before! I fell back asleep!

[[Sa...]]

Ooh G, I'm so glad you had a great time at dinner with shopping included, nice job! Just saw your new post, glad you made it back to sleep!

 

Hi Buddy, I had quite a bit of twitching and generally crappy sleep, but hey, it happens, right 

Why this always happens when I have a busy work day scheduled...ugh, oh well

 

I'm looking at everyday without this poison as a gift to myself, not sure which milestone I'll celebrate!

 

One day at a a time!

[[...]]

Hi everyone ..... Beautiful Saturday in the East Coast of US..... ( regardless of the crummy sleep, yes me too). Sorry a few of you woke up with the twitching.... That one seems hard to calm down. My current symptoms are pretty "out there" ... I have the twitching in my upper arms, and keep getting a real weakness and sometimes  the inability  to use them ( the typing thing)..... It's like a carpel tunnel in the shoulder instead of your wrist! So strange.

 

Saga, thanks for the explanation on tolerance.  Yes, that is exactly what happen to me for 7+ long years. To make matters worse, my brother in law is a Big Pharma guy. ( Lives in Philly by the way ). Research and Development of drugs. Never guess which ones : Neuro drugs of course. He was actually the lead guy on Effexor for example. So my family etc... Always pushed the drugs.  They didn't know any better. Can't wait until the day this is in the rear view mirror and I can "prove" that this was happening .

 

Some day will have to compare notes. Too much stress right now I agree... It is emotional. I have some concrete evidence now and maybe this will also help all of you. I went off the benzos last September and stayed off until April of this year. As I got "sick" again these past few months with all the weird stuff that testing and docs could not figure out, I kept  reminding my doctor that "he hadn't heard from me all winter" !!!!! He agreed that was strange. I was always on the phone with him or in his office. He finally conceded (as did my husband) that the only different thing this winter was the fact that I was completely "off benzos"..... So now they are all watching and waiting with me, to see the changes /improvements in all these crazy health symptoms .

 

Has everyone heard about the gentic defects we likely have ( I do for sure, I had the tests )?? To show that we could have trouble metabolizing these drugs. So that on top of the fact that no one should take any benzo for an extended time, are brains just couldn't handle....just kills me that the prescribing information on klonopin for example says " not to take longer than a 14 day period ".....we can certainly help others like the younger  generation, so they don't fall into this very uniformed medical circus.....

 

Would love to hear about how the Vegan diet helped you whenever you feel like describing...wishing everyone a symptom free day !!!!

 

 

[[Bu...]]

Hello everyone. I'm back from ballet and I got some lovely videos on the ipad of my little girl dancing. She has really helped me through this process. I always get up to do things for her, however bad I feel because I know I will never get these years back.

 

This is very interesting DLW. I would love that genetic test but don't think the NHS will stretch to it. However, it is encouraging for you to say that twitching takes a while to die down. I think mine is dying down, but it's taking a long time to do it. I am now finding that eating regular meals (and in-between meals) can calm it.

 

My counsellor today asked me 'are you feeling better now.' She meant it well but I had to explain that you can still suffer even after the drugs have left your system.

 

Hot and sticky here again and the promised thunder didn't clear the air.

 

Bye for now.

 

B.

[[...]]

Good morning DLW and Buddy!

 

I hope for improvements for you both!!

 

[[Bu...]]

Hi G.

 

Well I joined you in a virtual pizza as I went out to lunch with my daughter at Pizza Hut.

 

 

Having a slightly harder day today. I think the heat may have exacerbated my symptoms. I've been twitching away here. Other than a numb face though that seems to be all my symptoms. I think the twitches are slightly less violent. A good thing!

 

Do you find heat affects you?

 

Love B.

[[...]]

No, I've not had trouble with that, but I never had twitches either!

 

I'm sorry you are going through that!!

 

[[Bu...]]

Well goodnight everyone. Still very hot and sticky here.

 

Another day benzo free.

 

I wish you all a great evening.

 

I'm off for my marmite snack.

 

Love B.

[[No...]]

Have a good rest Buddy ...

[[Sa...]]

Well now, I'm trying to digest the irony of your family DLW, the involvement of the neuro drugs. That's the definition of irony, isn't it...wow, just WOW...my guess is you had no idea about stopping benzos and then went back on when you didn't feel better off them?

 

I've heard of the genetic testing, probably not having it done myself, very interesting though. All the years I was on Ativan, I never saw anything alarming in the packaging or the bottle...and no one ever said this was anything other than a muscle relaxer. Sigh. Perfectly harmless they all assured me..well now...

 

I'm a slow typist...Buddy's already off and having a snack! Good job on actively parenting right now- I'm sure your little girl helps keep you distracted! I hear you about the heat- can't take it anymore, and the twitches.Yikes!

 

I'm just sitting  like a blob right now, LOL..very little sleep and work today wore me out. I'm going out for dinner as well, a first since I've jumped. The sound sensitivity was tough to manage but I believe it's improving. I'll try it anyway!

 

 

 

[[Bi...]]

Having a low time right now. Hope it passes as it is my typical morning. I wanted to ask u guys have you thrown away all your benzos? Don't worry am not thinking of doing the unspeakable and taking that evil poison. Just haven't thrown them away yet. Ripped up a script but I have a lot of pills around and an expensive bottle of liquid that is almost full. Can you imagine an alcoholic tolerating booze around!

[[gr...]]

Hello to all Jumpers and congrats on your freedom. I was surfing here as I continue my dreadful taper. Reason is, i wondered if the depression hit or left and of you either during the taper or after jumping? Its got a stranglehold on me.

 

Info appreciated and very happy for you all. Ill be here within a couple months.

[[Sa...]]

I'm sorry you're having a rough morning Big.. :hug:hugs to you.its still early, remember how quickly everything can change. Yes, I couldn't wait to destroy my Ativan..did it the day I jumped, crushed and smashed the remains and irresponsibly dumped it into dirty cat litter  I enjoyed it far too much..

 

I went out for dinner tonight- I was jittery, but I didn't need my earplugs. I went all out and had a light beer instead of the ice cold Stella I really wanted. Let's see if I pay dearly tomorrow...

 

Hi Groove! My hubby might disagree, but I don't believe I've had a lot of depression. I know that's a constant for you, I hope the lower you go you start to see improvements. I figure it has to be one of the two meds causing it. I'm trying to remember if you're in a lot of pain. That's the one thing I'm almost ready to say was totally caused by the Ativan. I've seen a dramatic difference since my jump.

[[gr...]]

Thanks Saga...No i have alot of fatigue extreme...and the depression.

I took the gabapentin not for pain..well...kind of. If used it for my cramping legs in the morning from my terrible anxiety.

 

Now of course i wish i never took it. Thats one i asked for though on my own as my brother used it. I wish i had a bad reaction to it so i could have stopped immediately. It gave me a ton of manic like energy when i first took it, now it just makes me sick and tired and tired and sick

[[Bi...]]

Hi Saga

Thanks for the support. You are so positive, it spurs me on to be likewise. The thing is I'm worse when I am home and have time to think. If I think about what I have lost...oh well nothing to be done.

Groove as I had been labelled as someone who has 'anxiety' I am going to fight all future labels such as being depressed. The CBT helps me reframe my thoughts if I feel down, as does the Buddhist philosophy I learn from a gorgeous nun every Saturday morning. She teaches me acceptance. Do you do any cognitive behavioural therapy? The strategies are easy and helpful in our situation. Wish I'd learnt them years ago instead of popping pills!

[[gr...]]

Hi Mistake, I have been through a lot of CBT...it has helped with anxiety, but never with the depression. Im just hoping its chemically induced from the meds. My wife is Thai so i also am very familiar with Buddhism. I have been half tempted to go back to Thailand and live and practice with the Monks.

[[Bi...]]

Hi Groove

I worry every time I post something that in offering advice, I run the risk of hurting someone's feelings which I would never do. I'm sorry you are feeling low. I truly believe it's the drugs and that it will pass. With time and acceptance. I am already feeling more positive and I am very hopeful for the future. Going to a monastery would be amazing.

[[gr...]]

Ohhh dont worry about posting anything, i never take things wrong. I know we are all just trying to help each other.

 

I would love to be a Monk and just wander like Buddah and become enlightened.

[[Bi...]]

Ha ha calling me Mistake, most people say Big which makes me feel like I am from Sex and the City. Mistake is a little harsh ha ha.

Perhaps the reality of being a monk is not so glamorous. Anyhoo am off for a walk. I have to keep occupied to take my mind off my nausea. I have to hold on to the belief that I am the master of my mind. It's the way I have got through this. Every doctor told me I couldn't live drug free. They were wrong!

[[Di...]]

I suppose it's time for me to join this little band of jumpers. Technically I haven't "jumped" yet, but I'm doing a bit of fumes sniffing right now (or what we lovingly call "The Great Vapor Caper") and plan to be totally done next weekend. It's nice to finally be a benzo graduate.

[[Bi...]]

Hi DP

That's great news. We will hold your hand while you jump.

[[Bu...]]

Hello everyone,

 

Good morning. Another hot and sticky one from the UK. And another day of parenting ahead of me. It does help as a distraction.

 

Hello to everyone whose come in over the UK night. I get so much comfort from this thread knowing people are talking. I find nights difficult and I know I can check in with anyone at anytime.

 

Groove I'm sure the depression and anxiety are drug led. I am often anxious but not normally depressed. These drugs play with your mind. They led me into a depression which is lifting.

 

Saga I really admire the fact you've got rid of Atvian. I'm not ready to do that yet. (Not that I would take them of course.) I think somewhere deep inside myself I am still struggling with the old, how much of this is benzo related. I am going on a big family holiday in August and I might get rid of them after that. Oh you must have felt great smashing that glass. Ha, ha, ha.

 

I am sorry you are having a rough time Big....Should I be calling you Big or Mistake or Bigmistake? You've so much energy and belief which is wonderful. And someone suggested a monastery. :Lets all go to a big one in the Himalayers for recovery. I wish! Seriously there is something in the Buddist belief which could be therapeutic, although I'm not religious.  I am not getting this across very well as my 6 year old is here and there's washing to be done so I'll come back to the thought.

 

Hello Diaz...we're here for you.

 

Lots of love. B.