The jumping buddies group

[[No...]]

Good Morning ... I kept my drug around for quite a while after taper ... had quite a stash for a while ... then decided I would never need that much around ... took most of it back to the pharmacy ... a while later I went to the pharmacy and told them to destroy the "refill" script I had on file ... and a few weeks ago I got rid of the remaining few pills I had kept "just in case" ... I believe each of us will find our own way to not having them around any more ... hadn't heard using old cat litter as a disposal method before ... whatever works ...

 

Good Healing.

[[Bu...]]

The cat litter is good! Nova how are you doing. I saw you had a bit of a bad patch back there!

 

Love B.

[[No...]]

Buddy ... I post over in the 6 - 12 month support group and occasionally in the post-withdrawal thread ... the 6 - 12 month group has been a real refuge for me ... and I was so pleased to see someone started this group ...

 

There is so much information and support on BB that I often find it overwhelming ... and I find having a smaller "focus" to be more comfortable ...

 

Yes, I have been having a "rough patch" after an 11 day window ... these things happen ... they are part of this sometimes "crazy-making" process ...

 

Have a good Sunday ...

[[Bu...]]

Nova,

 

This thread has been a blessing for me. It's very positive and I've had a lot of support. I agree that the information on the whole board is overwhelming. I post my worried little panicky symptoms on the post benzo taper thread. Otherwise I'm in here with all these positive people.

 

I might one day graduate to the 1-6 month group. But I think I'll be here for a long time yet.

 

Lots of love B.

[[Sa...]]

Good morning!

 

Diaz I'm glad to see you here- we know the Vapor Caper is a formality   I'm laughing as I read this about being positive....I can piss and moan with the best I'll start moaning about sleep....lack of sleep gets me every time...again last night even with the Benadryl. Unisom made me feel hungover. Sigh. All part of the process...but honestly...

 

Getting rid of the Ativan wasn't about courage. It was a statement to myself. Years ago a hospice worker advised disposing of drugs in cat litter. This was before you could return unused drugs to drop off places. I just knew I had to get rid of it all immediately. Everyone does this their own way and when they're ready. I did enjoy decimating the pills...

 

Loading up on some coffee. My youngest daughter is moving early this morning. I'm not sure how much help I'll be today, but of course I can at least hold doors and stop any bickering between my daughters. They're getting better, but stressful situations bring out the worst in them. They still need a referee.

Love to all!

One day at a time, right!?

 

[[Bi...]]

Hi all

Just winding down for the night. Spent some re-reading the Ashton manual for inspiration. True healing begins when you stop taking benzos. I hold on to that thought tightly with both hands.

 

Hey Buddy the name thing was just a joke, really don't mind. We are all buddies here. Couldn't do this without you all.  thank you for starting this group.

[[Bu...]]

Hello everyone!

 

Big...I hope you have a really lovely refreshing sleep. I agree I couldn't do this withdrawal without all you wonderful people. I hope you had a good day. I just wasn't quite sure what to call you and missed out on the nuances while trying to read threads with my daughter pestering me for this and that!  What neck of the woods are you? I guess Australia or somewhere like that. I love your positivity. Your energy surges through the computer and gives me some. I've been a bit down in the energy department!

 

I am having a better day. I've got a few sort of weird dizzy / brain zap thingies going on but I think things are calming down a bit. Whether I'd go as far as to say it's a window I'm not sure.

 

Saga: How are you and your daughters. I hope the move isn't too stressful. That's all you need.

 

Love B.

[[Bu...]]

I just want to say somewhere what a lifeline I am finding this site. I can talk to so many people who understand what I am going through and I can look up weird symptoms and get reassurance. I'd never get through this without BB

 

Love B.

[[Sa...]]

Buddy, you're so right, where would we be without this site?!?! I say that every day, and I mean it. Everyone is wonderful.Truly.

 

Well, the move blindsided me! My other daughter hurt her back and didn't show. I did a ton more work than I expected. I also fell apart when I saw where she's moving. She's a senior in college. She's moving into a basement. Literally. It looks like a crack house. So I'm far more fragile than I thought. I sobbed the whole way home. Oh my...I'm going to take the stinking Unisom tonight. If I can't control my emotions maybe I'll get some sleep 

[[Bu...]]

Oh Saga!

Saga,

 

Poor you. What is Unison? I hope it can give you some sleep. There is nothing worse than poor sleep is there? Symptoms seem to be more manageable after sleep. It's not that they are any less, it's just we've got more energy to rationalize them. I'll be thinking of you tonight. What happened to daughter2.

 

Don't worry about crying. Crying is good. I cry nearly every day. Buckets of tears. No oceans of tears.

 

I'll be thinking of you anyway. I'm off to get my evening marmite snack. I'm having a big problem with waves of hypoglycaemia. I am going to have to eat small amounts regularly. I looked up benzo withdrawal and hypoglycaemia and it seems to be linked. That's when I wrote the last post. The twitches though have been better today. Not gone. Just better.

 

Lots of love,

 

B.

 

[[Sa...]]

Yes Buddy, I'm reeling from this morning. It's interesting everyone talking about their tears- this has been new for me. I've been emotionally dead for so long to finally have these emotions back is an adjustment!

 

Crying seems to make me worse instead of better. Seems like I'd better get used to it!

 

Daughter 2 somehow hurt her back and was clearly in pain. She brought over a tool we needed and could barely walk. Went back to her heating pad.

 

Unisom is an OTC sleeping aid. I forget what's in it, I know it's not addictive. Tried it once and didn't like the way I felt, but hey, sleep is more important now. I can't deal with too many more nights like the last few.

 

Hypoglycemia..I haven't had any issues with food, if it works to eat snacks and smaller meals I'd go with it! Is there anything benzos DON'T mess with?!?! I'm happy you're finding the twitching to go down in intensity! That's a good sign, enjoy your snack!

 

Saga

[[Bu...]]

Saga,

 

I really do believe tears are a sign of you healing. I really think it. Maybe it's because it's new for you that you find it hard. You've been through so much, both with your family and your health. crying is nature's healer, There are endorphins in those tears!

 

Love B.

[[Ra...]]

I don't really belong here as I haven't jumped (far from it) but the discussion about tears intrigued me.  Check out this link about emotional tears, very interesting:

 

http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/emotional-freedom/201007/the-health-benefits-tears

[[Bu...]]

Rabbit:

 

Thank you. what a lovely piece. Your very welcome here, Rabbit. We'd love to talk with you.

 

Love B.

[[Ra...]]

Rabbit:

 

Thank you. what a lovely piece. Your very welcome here, Rabbit. We'd love to talk with you.

 

Love B.

 

Thank you Buddy, I appreciate that 

[[Sa...]]

Thanks Bunny, I just read the article. Humans are the only ones known to cry emotional tears! There's a lot of information in the article.

 

Bunny, that was a lovely gesture and I appreciate it very much. You know you're a very special woman

 

 

[[Ne...]]

Thanks Bunny, I just read the article. Humans are the only ones known to cry emotional tears! There's a lot of information in the article.

 

Bunny, that was a lovely gesture and I appreciate it very much. You know you're a very special woman

Not true...Elephants have been documented to cry emotional tears....

[[Bi...]]

Hi everyone

 

Rough Monday at work today. Normally nausea goes when I get distracted but today it had a grip on my stomach all day. Was awful. I keep making mistakes and I am terrified people will notice. Still I made it and am tucked up in bed with a cup of tea feeling very sad. This is one hard trip isn't it. I feel like such an outsider. A colleague said I should get my hair cut shorter today and I told her I don't care what I look like. They prob think I am odd but dressing to go to work just means making sure I don't have my pyjamas on. As long as I've achieved that I'm good to go.

Yeah buddy you asked where I'm from. Perth, australia. Buddy do u still have the saliva thing? My mouth feels awful and I have sores on the edges that make it hard to eat or talk. Feel as if the saliva is pooling at the sides. Gross. Feeling so down. I am scared I jumped too quickly at end. I mean I followed the Ashton Manual. Truth was I just wanted to face the fear and not have it hanging over me. Wish there were more studies in this. We need info. Are symptoms less if you hold longer at the end. Actually I don't want to really know now. What's done is done.

At the end of week two what were your symptoms? And when did it ease up even a little? Do I really want to know? Mmm maybe I don't if you all say week 3 is worse. So far i does seem to be. Ah the dangers of reading other posts. You want to know but it could also bring on fears.

Kinda wish I wasn't in another time zone right now. Feel on my own.  :'(

[[No...]]

Hi Big ...

 

I found "second guessing" myself to not be helpful ... doubt is always around for me ... I just try not to left it get a foot-hold when it shows up ... and there is no "right" or "perfect" way to do this ... we are all lovely, unique folks ...

 

You will hear this 10,000 times ... maybe already have ... one day at a time ... sometimes 1 hour at a time ... and each day I add one more stone to my healing cairn ...

 

Take Care.

 

Their are two Australian Buddies I have "met" ... Pinkie and Robyn17 ... both have blogs ...

[[Bi...]]

Thanks nova

 

You are so kind looking after us. It is nice to connect to someone out there at times. Someone further on down the road who will say it's going to be ok.

Am glad to be at home now. In bed with the electric blanket on. Another day done. 

[[No...]]

Big ... we all encourage each other ... no matter where we are on this journey ... bed and blankie ... I remember those days ... we soothe ourselves as best we can day to day ...

[[...]]

Good morning all!

 

Hi Nova! I hope you are feeling better!!

 

[[Bu...]]

Good morning everyone,

 

Yes we all encourage each other. That's the good thing about this thread. Jumping seems to me to be about jumping between good and bad. I can write up here that I'm feeling good and the two minutes later I'm not.

 

big I'm sorry you had a hard day. There's nothing worse than having to work and be feeling sick all the time. I really admire the fact that you can work. I can't at the moment. (I am just proud that I managed to work with 6 eight year olds for an hour this morning as a volunteer at the local school!) You are so right about clothes, if you get in there without wearing your jarmies then your doing well. I'm the same going up to the school. My room is a tip at the moment but I am putting it on hold until I feel a bit stronger. I hope you are having a really refreshing sleep while I write this. The benzo thing is so hard! And yes I have the saliva thing though it is lessening a bit.

 

We are lucky to have Nova and G. on board. I too like talking to people further on down the road. It gives me encouragement. My twitches have lessened a bit (which is a good thing) but I am very susceptible to hypoglycaemia. If I get hungry, my face and neck start to hurt and muscles tighten and the shakes are worse. There has been a discussion on these boards of hypoglycaemia and benzo withdrawal. I got very shaky in the night and had twitches so I had a banana and felt better. I am thinking of doing a home glucose monitoring session just to be sure. (My doctor won't run any more tests.)

 

Saga your probably waking up as I write this. I hope you got a good sleep and are feeling a bit better. I think all of us jumpers have had a bit of a rough ride in the last day or so.

 

Love B.

[[...]]

Buddy, you sound good!

 

This is the hardest thing we will probably ever do, and a weaker person wouldn't make it...but we are doing it! We should all be SO proud!!

 

It's getting better, healing is happening!!

 

[[Bi...]]

Hi buddies

If I sleep well tonight will be grateful but feeling very, very edgy right now. I don't really have much choice about working. I guess I am feeling pretty sorry for myself. No hubby to let me stay at home. Am not alone but things would get tense if I wasn't able to support myself, cook, clean and keep up relatively good spirits. But parenting would be hard too. My kids are off my hands.

At the moment it's my saliva that is killing me. I am dribbling acid!